• RtMORAiC [ BY H. 0. BROOKS] No. 48. May be had complete in One Part, Price Two Shillings. PASTE 1, 2, and 3, NOW BEADY. Each Part may be sont, per Post, by attaching Six Stamps; or sent, direct from the Office, for Eighteen Stamps Sent, per Poet, by adding Six Postage Stamps. PUBLISHED WEEKLY. Price Id.— per post 2d. For remote parts, Single Copies may bo sent direct from the Office, for 2 Postage Stamps, or 26 Stamps per Quarter. AN UNLOOKED- FOR YISITOHE k-. J " PLEASE MISS IT'S THE TALES OF LONDON LIFE.— No. 2. MODEST MARTHA; OR, THE MYSTERIES OF LONDON STREETS. BY H. G. BROOKS, AUTHOR OF " MRS. LORIMER SPINKS." ' It will be, then, but a loss of time for me to wait here,' solilo- quized Sam, as he turned upon his heel from the door of Lady Arding's, ' where had I better go next V He was left but little time for reflection, for as ho was in the act of leaving the crowd, he felt himself pulled sharply from behind, and to his surprise beheld standing close by his side Rose Hartland. ' By heavens,' exclaimed Sam, ' of all persons iu the world, you are the one I could most desire to see. I have been anxiously, most anxiously desirous of seeing you.' ' Why have you not sought me,' answered Rose, sternly. GENTLEMAN? WITH THE NOSE." ' Where ?' ' In Westminster.' ' At the house of the Weazel?' ' The same.' 11 thought you had removed from there,' continued Sam, ' but I have much to say to you.' ' This is no place for conversation,' replied Rose. ' Where shall we go?' ' There are few places so safe at present as my odgings in Westminster,' said Rose,' but if we are seen together it may excite suspicion.' ' You can have nothing to fear,' said Sam, ' by staying here. I know that you must be in possession of important secrets, and are acquainted with particulars which, if I were in possession of, would materially serve the purpose I had in view; nay, you have almost told me as much.' ' Why have you delayed so long in seeing me,' answered Rose. Sam briefly explained to the young woman his accident, and subsequent removal to the hospital ; and Rose, in return, informed him she was in a situation of great peril— that she was suspected by Palsgrave ( the Weazel), who she believed had procured his own safety and pardon for former misdemeanours, by betraying the cause of Thistlewood to the Government.' ( See Page 3.) ' Impossible,' exclaimed Sam,' so much treachery cannot exist— are the unfortunate wretches who have linked themselves in this rebellious plot acquainted with the fact that they are betrayed?' ' I think not,' was the answer ; ' indeed if they were, it would not save them.' ' There is but another day,' said Sam, musing. ' Poor Herbert Leslie, he, too, is connected with his Cato street devilry.' 1 He is safe,' replied Rose; ' you mean the father of Martha.' ' The same! But what am I to undertand by that ?' In a few sentences Rose narrated to Sam that Herbert Leslie was a prisoner in White Cross- street Prison, upon some of the bills held by Mr. Pemberton, and that consequently as he would not be present at the seizure of the conspirators, his connection with it would probably be passed over. During the time that the two had been holding this conversation, they had crossed Piccadilly and entered the Park, Rose informing her companion that it was her intention to take him to her house in Tothill- street, observing that she had a great surprise for him in store there, one which, if she had not so opportunely met with him, might have caused her much embarrassment. A person for whom he was assured he must feel the most anxious solicitude. ' It is Martha!' ejaculated Sam. Thank Heaven, then, she is safe.' 102 T H E TOWN. ' It is not Martha, although I know where she is— ' Tell me then at once where she is.' ' Is she then the only one for whom you ft el anxious? enquired Rose quickly. ' Have you not a dearer and a nearer tie ?' ' I do not understand you.' ' Then I will speak plain. ' Have you not a sister V < Yes— yes— know you aught of her V < She is at my lodgings.' ' How did she escape 1 where has she beenr exclaimed Sam. ' You shall bear ber own account of the transaction. But first, you must understand she was removed from the house of your master in mistake for Martha; and was found by Sir Vincent in the garden near his house. It was a fortunate discovery tor Sir Vincent, who had paid to Mrs Myrtle a considerable sum for the abduction of the girl.' With horror Rivers heard that his young sister had been in- tended to be sacrificed to the brutality of Sir Vincent, and with difficulty Rose kept pace with him, so rapid was his walk, equalled only by his anxiety to reach her abode and again behold his relative. In about twenty minutes they reached Tothill- street, and en- tered a narrow dirty avenue, in the centre of which was an equally dirty door way. Sam, after clambering five or six flights of stairs, fonnd himself in the apartment of Rose Hartland. ' It is not a very grand place,' said the young woman as she ushered liim, ' but here is the person you have been so long seeking.' Sam heard not the observation. His first movement upon en- tering the room was to rush towards a bed. which he saw in the corner of the room, upon which reclined a female form— it was his sister— little Agatha. Raising her from the bed, and fondly embracing the astonished girl, lie exclaimed—• Where, my dear child, where have you been— tell me all, I entreat you. ' You frighten the poor child,' said Rose. ' I don't think she remembers you.' ' Oh yes I do,' answered the girl quickly. ' It's the gentleman I met the other day at Mrs. Raddle's the night the men took me away. Oh, that Mrs. Myrtle she w « s a bad wicked woman.' ' Where then were'you taken to?' enquired Sam, anxiously. « Tell me quickly.' ' I will she answered. ' You shall know all.' She was abouut to speak when Rose hastily desired her to be silent. ' I hear footsteps upon the staircase— should it be Pals- grave— I know not what may be the consequences, for he always carries fire- arms, and is a desperate man, aud in this house, ere now, even murders have been done which justice has never heard of, You must not be seen here, Mr. Rivers.' ' Where can I hide ?' ' Go through this window, and along by the gutters— they will lead you on to the roof, where you may conceal yourself till he is gone.' ' And the girl— the girl— where will you place her?' ' Leave that to me— he will stay but a few seconds— quickly through this window I tell you.' Who the stranger was, with the history of Agatha, shall be told in our next. ( To be continued.) being; called him a brute; said bachelors were always brutes, ' and your niggering nephew there,' pointing to me,' will soon be as bad, or worse than yourself.' So saying, she left the room, followed by all the ladies, as a corps of condolence ; leaving the honours of tbe table to be completed by my uncle and self. THE MYSTERIES OF LOVE OR, THE Adventures of Manon Lescaut HONOUR— OR A VISIT AT MY AUNTS. — o Honour is now a mere serving word; a lacquey to the language necessary to fashion, but ludicrous as gloves in a sultry summer. I had the honour of an invitation from a maiden aunt, to spend Xmas holidays at the residence of her brother; ( with whom she lived a sort of imperial lady- like housekeeper,) where I was to have the HONOUR of meeting a petticoat party, consisting of two country cousins, and the three Miss Wagtails, from Wiltshire. I arrived late in the evening, tired by the journey ; so after the honours of the introduction, congratulation and a hearty supper, I retired to bed. In the morning after breakfast, the ladies feeling inclined to " breathe the morning air"— proposed a walk— I in courtsey was compelled to join, and preparation Soon commenced. My aunt, careful old soul, ( an old maid to the vei'y title) heaped upon her shawls, cloaks, boas, muffs, and tippets enough to bid defiance to a host of zeros 1 and then feign iriust take an um- brella, heedless of all remonstrance. In vain I pointed to the cloudless sky, tbe vane, t, nd the barometer; nothing would do. Her corns pained her, and that was an incontrovertible proof of rainy weather. We had not proceeded mere than half a mile before the weather became too warm for her. She could not have conceived it' so mild,' her muff and tippet made ber disagree- ably hot,— had procured them larger than usual, extra lined; concluding it would be a severe winter,— the1 hawthorn berries so numerous, & c.—' 0 dear!' said one of the Miss Wagtails,' I am sure your nephew is too much the gentleman not to consider himself HONOURED by carrying anything tbat may discommode his aunt!' I of course all complaisance acquieseed; and forth Came ' the honours thick upon me,' with a particular injunction to take care of the dear little dog that was asleep inside the muff. I have seen many strange things, but this was so new that 1 could not hep exclaiming—' well, old maids indeed are matchless!' The obnoxious monosyllable attached to maiden ladies of a cer- tain age, caused my aunt and the Miss Wagtails to walk rather fldgetty, and my cousins to titter with an ill suppressed laugh. Had it been March, the most windy month in the year; I could have understood the cause. Shortly after I met my uncle who chaffed me finely upon my appearance, but finally succeeded in relieving myself by slipping the lot into the ditch. The dog yelped soundly at being rudely ejected from a warm muff into the mire: the ladies squeaked,— my aunt was in hys- terics,— and I ( feigning a rueful face and limping gait) could offer no assistance. My cousins, little thinking how they were being cozened, arranged themselves like a pair of angelic crutches for me to lean upon ; while the Miss Wagtails were putting their smelling bottles to my aunt's olfactory orfices, and bemoaning her calamity. She soon recovered the first shock, and then regardless of the brambles scrambled through the ditch for her favorite brute; and began hugging it to her bosom, with a maternal fondness. In a very queer condition we moved towards home. By the time of dinner, the ladies had resumed their serenity ; and my aunt began to express as much concern lor me as she had before evinced for her dog. I hobbled to one end of the table, expecting my uncle wo, Id take the other. ' Excuse me,' said my aunt, stopping me with a ball- room courtesy, ' myself and your cousin, Bertha, intend doing the honours of the table.' Honours of the table, thought I, why ! what the plague are they ? But soon found them to consist in the amputation and dissection of the different animals, that ' nau been humanely slaughtered for our repast. ' My niece carves admirably,' said my aunt. I was appealed to : and replied,' undoubtedly you have both the honour of disjointing the brute carcasses in a fashionably way, and with a little more practice, either may become sufficiently accomplished for a but- cher's wife!' This was an electric shock, down dropped their knives, and off bursts my uncle in another roar of laughter. Alas ! this was no sooner over than amore disastrous affair pre- sented itself, which I fear has lost me the good wishes of my mai- den aunt, and future prospects of a hopeful legacy. My cousin Bertha, wishing to partake part of a chicken that my aunt was carving, requested she would send her the L. E. G. ' The elegy of a chicken,' one replied in amazement, for she had not heard the pun, and maiden ladies have seldom much conception; ' my dear, I do not comprehend.' ' 0, it's only a merrythought,' I replied. My uncle was sitting at the corner of the table, with liis mouth full of food, and wondering at her want of apprehension, but no sooner had I spoken, than his risible muscles started into action, anet drove the meat from his mouth, ( like a meteoric shower,) right on to my aunt's plate. This was too much, she arose like a termagant, declared she would no longer sit with such a filthy When I found in my hand the instrument of my liberty, I no longer doubted my success. It was certainly a strange and a bold project; but of what was I not capable, with the motives that in S|) ired me ? I had, since I was allowed permission to walk in the galleries, found opportunities of observing, that every night the porter brought the keys of all the doors to the governor, and sub- sequently there always reigned a profound silence in the house, which shewed that the inmates had retired to rest. There was an open communication between my room and that of the superior. My resolution was, if he refused quietly to surrender the keys, to force him, by fear of the pistol, to deliver them up, and. then, with- out help to gain the street. I impatiently awaited the moment for executing my purpose. The porter arrived at his usual time, that is to say, soon after nine o'clock. I allowed an hour to elapse in order that the priests as well as the servants might be all asleep' I at length proceeded with my pistol and a lighted candle. I' first gave a gentle tap at the governor's door to awaken without alarming him. I knocked a second time before he heard me; and supposing, of course, that it was one of the priests who was taken ill and wanted assistance, he got out of bed, dressed himself, and came to the door. He had, however, the precaution to ask first who it was, and what was wanted ? I was obliged to mention my name, and I assumed a plaintive tone, to make him believe that I was indisposed. Ah ! it is you, my dear boy, said he, on open- ing the door ; what can bring you here at this hour ? I stepped inside the door, and leading him to the opposite side of the room, I decla < ed to him that it was absolutelyjimpossible for me to re- main longer at St. Laz ire ; that the nigbt was the most favourable time fo r going out unobserved, and that I confidently expected, from h s tried friendship, that he would consent to open the gate for me, or entrust me with the keys to let myself out. This compliment to his friendship seemed to surprise him. He stood for a few moments looking at me without making any re- ply. Finding that I had no time to lose, I just begged to assure him that I had the most lively sense of all his kindnesses, but that freedom was dearer to man than every other consideration, especially so to me, who had been cruelly and unjustly deprived of it; that I was resolved this night to recover it, cost what it would; and fearing lest he might raise his voice and call for assistance, I let him see the powerful incentive to silence, which I had kept concealed in my bosom. A pistol! cried he. What! my sou ? will you take away my life in return for the attention I have shown you ?— God forbid, replied I; you are too reasonable to drive me to that horrible extremity: but I am determined to be free, and so firmly determined, that if you defeat my project, I will put an end to your existence. But. my dear son ! said he, pale and frightened, what have I done to you ? What reason have you for taking my life ? No ! replied I, impatiently, I have no design upon your life, if you, yourself, wish to live ; open but the doors for me, and you will find me the most attached of friends. I perceived the keys upon the table. I requested he would take them in his hand and walk before me, making as little noise as he possibly could. he offered me his purse, and pressed me to accept it, which I refused. Before we parted, we agreed as to the time and place for our meeting. He was so considerate as to appoint the afternoon of the same day. I waited for him at a cafe, where he joined me about four o'clock, and we went together towards the Magdalen ; my knees trembled under me as I crossed the courts. M. de T... spoke to some of the porters of the establishment, who appeared all anxious to please him. The quarter in which Manon's room lay was pointed out to us, and our guide carried in his hand the key of her chamber: it was of frightful size. I asked the man who conducted us, and whose duty it was to at- tend to Manon, how she passed her time? He said, that she had a temper of the most angelic sweetness ; that even he, disagree- able as his official duties must render him, had never heard from her a single syllable in the nature of rebuke or harshness; that her tears had never ceased to flow during the first six weeks after her arrival, but that latterly she seemed to bear her misfortunes with more resignation, and that she employed herself from morn- ing till night with her needle, excepting some hours, that she, each day, devoted to reading. I asked whether she had been decently provided for. He assured me that at least she had never felt the want of necessaries. We now approached her door. My heartbeat almost audibly in my bosom. I said to M. de T..., go in alone, aud prepare her for my visit; I fear that she may be overcome by seeing ine un- expectedly. The door was opened. I remained in the passage, and listened to the conversation. He said that he came to bring ber consolation; that be was afriend of mine, and felt deeply in- terested for the happiness of us both. She asked with tlie ten- derest anxiety, whether he could tell her what had become of me. He promised niat she should soon see me at her feet, us affection- ate and as faithful as ever. When ? she asked. This very day, said he ; the happy moment shall not be long delayed ; nay, this very instant even, if you wish it. Sbe at once understood that I was at the door; as she was rushing towards it, I entered. We embraced each other with that unbounded and impas> ioned ten- derness, which an absence of many months makes so delicious to those who truly love. Our sighs, our broken exclamations, the thousand endearing appellations of love, exchanged in languishing rapture, astonished M. de T..., and affected him even to tears. The remainder of an interview which had been so long and so ardently desired by me, was, of course, as tender as the com- mencetnent. Poor Manon related all her adventures, and I told her mine : we bitterly wept over each other's story. M. de T... consoled us by his renewed promises, to exert himself in our ser- vice. He advised us not to make this, our first interview, of too long duration, that he might have the less difficulty in procuring us the same enjoyment again, and friendly iuduced us to follow his advice. I made the man who attended a present as I went out, in order to quicken his zeal and attentions. This fellow had a mind less rough and vulgar than the generality of his class. He had wit- nessed our interview, and was affected by it. The interest he felt was doubtless increased by the louis d'or I gave him. He took me aside as we went down into the court yard. Sir, said he, if you will only take me into your service, or indemnify me in any way for the loss of the situation which I fill here, I think 1 should not have much difficulty in liberating the beauteous Manon. I caught readily at the suggestion, and, although at the moment I was almost in a state of destitution, I gave him promises far beyond his desires. I inquired what means he intended to employ. None other, said he, than merely to open the door of her cell for her at night, and to conduct her to the street door, where you, of coarse, will be to receive ber. I asked whether there was no danger of her being recognized as she traversed tbe long galleries and the courts. He admitted that there was danger, but that nothing could be done without some slight risk. M. de T... after some arguments was favourable to the design, and it was arranged with the servant that he should carry his project into execution the following day, and to render our suc- cess as certain as he could, we resolved to carry into the prison, men's clothes, in order to facilitate her escape. There wasa diffi- He saw the necessity of consenting. We proceeded, and as he opened each doOr, he repeated, always with a sigh, Ah ! my son, who could have believed it ? No noise, good father, no noise, 1 as often answered in my turn. At length we reached a kind of jcultv t0 be surmounted in carrying them in, but I had ingenuity barrier, just inside the great entrance. I already fancied myself , enou" h t0 mtet it. x beg d of de x.. _ on, to * * free, and kept close behind the governor, with my candle in one : light wai8tcoat9 lhe next, morning, and I undertook to arrange hand, and my pistol in the other. _ _ I the rest. We returned the following day to the Hospital. I took with me linen, stockings, & c. for Manon, aud over my body- coat, ...... _. u:. u - UW... 1. J iuj li- lfc ' — I.. J , . . We While he was endeavouring to open the heavy gate, one of the servants, who slept in an adjoining room, hearing the noise of the boltsjumped out of bed, and peeped forth to see what was pass- ing. The good father apparently thought him strong enough to overpower me. He commanded him, most imprudently, to come to his assistance upon me without an instant's hesitation. There was no time for parleying— I levelled my pistol and lodged the contents in his breast ! See, father, of what mischief you have been the cause, said I to my guide; but that must not prevent us from finishing our work, I added, pushing him on towards the last door. He did not dare refuse to open it. I made my exit in perfect safety, and, a few a surtout, which concealed the bulk I carried in my pockets, remained but a moment in her room. M. de T... left her one of his waistcoats ; I gave her my short coat, the surtout being „ , ~ -.,-,. ,,. sufficient for me. She found nothing wanting fur her complete He was a powerful ruffmn, and threw himself ! tquipment but a pair 0f pantaloons, which, in my hurry, 1 had forgotten. The want of so necessary an article might have amused us, if the embarrassment it caused had been of n less serious kind. I was iu despair at having our whole scheme foiled by a trifling omission of this nature. However, I soon hit on a remedy, and determined tei make tny own exit sansculotte, leaving that por- tion of my dress with Maoou. My surtout was loni, and I con- paces off, found Lescaut with two friends, waiting for me, accord- ing to his promise. We removed at once to a distance. Lescaut inquired whether ! he had not heard the report of a pistol ? You are to blame, said I, why did you bring it charged? I, however, could not help thanking bim for having taken this precaution, without which, I doubtless must have continued much longer at St. Lazare. We went to pass the night at a tavern, where I made up, in some de- gree, for tbe miserable fare which had been doled out to me for nearly three months. I was very far, however, from tasting per- fect enjoyment; Manon's sufferings were mine. She must be re- leased, said I to my companions : this was my sole object in desiring my own liberty. I rely on your aiding me with all your ingenuity ; as for myself, my life shall be devoted to the purpose. Lescaut, who was not deficient in tact, showed me that my shooting the turnkey would cause a strict search to be made for me, and that I must remain concealed some time. The utmost I could bring myself to promise, was, that I would sleep through the whole of the next day. He locked me in my bedroom, where I remained patiently until night. I employed great part of the time in devising schemes for re lieving Manon. Force was out of the question— artifice the only resource. As soon as night res tored tome my liberty, I begged of Lescaut to accompany me. We were not long in drawing one of the por- ters into conversation; he appeared a reasonable man. I passed for a stranger who had often with admiration heard talk of the Hospital, and of the order that reigned within it. I inquired into the most minute details; and, proceeding from one subject to another, we at length spoke of the managers, and of these I begged to know the names and the respective characters. He gave me such information upon the latter point as, at once, suggested an idea which flattered my hopes, and I immediately set about carry- ing it into execution. I asked him ( this being a matter essential to my plan), whether any of the gentlemen had children. He said he could not answer me with certainty as to all, but as for M. de T..., one of the principal directors, he knew that he had a son old enough to be married, and who had come several times to the hospital with his father. This was enough for my pur- pose. The plans I formed, upon this being approved of by Lescaut, the next morning I dressed as well as, in my present state of in- digence, I could possibly contrive to do ; and went in an hackney coach to the residence of M. de T. He was surprised at receiving a visit from a perfect stranger. He heard me with pleasure, ap- peared acquainted with Manon, and the adventure of old G. M . ,, and offered to procure me the pleasure of seeing her, and to do every thing iu his power to effect her release. He did more; for, inferring from my adventures, aud especially my late escape from St. Lazare, that I might be in want of money, l trived by the help of a few pins to put myself in a decent condition for passing the gate. The remainder of the day appeared to me of endless length. When at last night came, we went in a coach to within a few yards of the Hospital. We were not long waiting, when we saw Manon make her appearance with her guide. The door of the coach being opened, they both stepped in without delay. I opened my arms to receive my adored mistress; she trembled like an aspen leaf. The coachman asked where he was to drive ? To the end of the world ! I exclaimed ; to some place where I can never again be separated from Manon. This burst, which I could not control, was near bringing me into fresh trouble. The coachman reflected upon what I said, and when I afterwards told him the name of the street, to which I wished him to drive, he answered that lie feared I was about to implicate him in some bad business ; that he saw plain enough that the good- looking young man whom I called Manon, was a girl eloping from the Hospital, and that he was little disposed indeed to ruin himsi If for love of me. Extortion was the source of this scoundrel's delicacy. We were still too near the Hospital to make any uoi6e. Silence! said I to him, you shall have a louis d'or for the job : for less than that, he would have helped me to bum the Hospital. We arrived at Lescaut's house. As it was late, M. de T... left us on the way, promising to visit us the next morning. The servant alone remained. I held Munon in such close embrace in my arms, that we occu- . pied but one place in the coach. She cried forjoy, and I could feel her tears trickling down my cheeks. ( To be continued.) MOTHER TONGUE A TELLTALE.— A certain Tipperary gentle- man oalled upon a countryman in Paris, and after ringing stoutly at the bell, the door was opened by a smartly dressed maid, whose grisette cap and apron immediately seemed to pronoun : c her to be French. ' Est Captaine— est Monsieur O'Shea ici?' asked he, in considerable hesitation. ' Ah, sir! you're English,' exclaimed the maid, in a very London reesent. ' Yes, my little darliu'! I was asking ; or Capt. O'Sliea?' ' Ah, sir! you're Irish!' said she, with a very significant fall of the voice. ' So,' as he afterwards re- marked, ' my French showed that I was English, and my English that I was Irish.' The following question is now being debated at the ' Niscayuna Lyceum':—' Which will cause a man to fall the quickest, a pint of brandy or a tight boot?'— If both are sent to our publisher, we will give an opinion. THE TOWN. 3 TOWN TALK. Tbe recent decision in the case of Hoskins v. Maddox, by which the defendant, the lessee of the Princess's Theatre was sued by a " singing lady,'' for ten weeks salary, aud compelled to pay the sum with full costs, is the theme of general conversation in the- atrical circles, it being but the prelude to other actions. The Albata snuff- box presented at Aberdeen, on the 21st of December, an allusion to which was made in . No. 46, lias been followed by a supper, to tbe crest- fallen recipient at Glasgow, on the 5th instant, since which he has returned to his Bristol friends, and is to appear on the 18th instant, as Octavian, in the Monntaiue^- rs. Amongst the most recent ' spring ' fashions announced, we And a gutta percha bed sacking, and a foot and head- piece of whalebone. A few days since, it was discovered that a seller of fried fish had for months, been in the habit of using in his culinary arrange" mints ' common- train oil. and goose fat;' he was compelled to give up his tisli business, anu has since taken a ' pie shop, at the east end of London. It will be inteiesting to watch tbe statistics of the bow- wow and pussey population in that neighbourhood. The severe struggle going on between the proprietors of the Argyll Rooms, and Mr. Stowell, the promoter of prosecutions against unlicensed music and dancing rooms, eontinues to excite great attention. Stowell up to the present titue has been unsuc- cessful in every point, and it is the opinion of persons capable of knowing, that the judges are so much in favour of these places, that an alteration will" be made in the law. The proposed plan of doing away with grog in the Navy, has furnished a theme for some capital jokes, and weanticipate a song from our clever midnight warbler, Jack Sharp. The withdrawal at this moment of the Cesarewitch Stakes given by the Russian Grand Duke, is rather singular, following as it does the loan furnished by this country to Russia. The stake : made up by tbe Jockey Club. On Wednesday next, ( the > Oth instant), the learned Sergeanj Costello, makes an appeal to the public at the Garrick's Head, Bow Street, it being the anniversary of an engagement at that establishment of seven years. To say that he deserved a bumper is supeifluous, he is certain to have it; but although the legal department will be considerably augmented, the admission by tickets, ( to be had of Mr. C.) will be as usual, one shilling. The trial of strength announced to take place between the Arab and English hor6es, is off, the Jockey Club having refused the Pacha's challenge, on account of the climate and the soil. Her late lamented Majesty, the Queen Dowager, although a highly benevolent and charitable female, kept up an establish nient worthy of a Queen, as is proved by the recent sale of her effects ; and the esteem in which she was held by all classes, is evidenced by the extraordinary prices her goods realized. At several villages round London, within the last few days, the old cheese swindle has worked auccesslully, two men, cheese haw- kers have carried about a quantity of rubbishing cheese, but contrived to plug each cheese with a sample of the best quality, which they gave buyers to taste, and which procured them a re » dy sale for their goods, as they sold single cheeses at wholesale prices. USEFUL HINTS. FRIENDLY HINTS TO FAST MEN. Dress different to every one else you know, something between a cabman and a dog- fancier ; use out of the way coarse expressions; be rough and sudden in your answers— fools will mistake your vulgarity for frankness and a knowledge of the world. Always differ in opinion from every one in company, and if you meet a person pre- eminently your superior in birth and education, contra- dict and oppose upon the most trivial points— it will show jour independence. Never be particular about dates or statement of circumstances in argument, such as Kean did not act in London till eighteen hundred and TWENTY ! or the figure of King Charles at Charing- cross, is the private property of the Duke of Northum- berland. The moment an individual appears as an object of public attraction, declare you either went to school with them, or you have a relation to whom . he party has been a servant. Take as much room on the paver jent as you can ; if you are with four or five friends, walk all arr i in arm together ; do not make way for a lady ; the road is wide enough for her. Call the cabman off the rank, to ask what o'clock it is, aud hail every omnibus which is going east, and inquire if he's going west. Ask every policeman you meet, " how's 979, and where's the fire ?'' enter into long con- versation with every beggar who asks you for a penny ; get his whole history, tell him you're the Chronicle Commissioner, and he's to c ill in the morning. Enter newspaper shops to inquire the price of the " Threepenny journals," and ask if Young Punch is gone to look for Sir John Franklin ? Shriek out " Lar- li- e- tee," as often as you please, and insult cooks and housemaids whenever they appear at area gates. Stop private carriages to inquire if they are " hired," and tap stout gentlemen on the off shoulder, to enjoy their surprise when they turn round and see no one there. Stare young ladies out of countenance, and quiz aged people on their juvenile appearance, Ring bells vigorously as you go home of an evening, and rattle your stick violently against the area railings, taking good care to throw all pewter pots over that may be hanging on them. If you meet a lady, young but frail and fair, who inquires if you are good natured, immediately recognise her as an old friend, whom you heard had been dead THIRTY years, compliment her upon wearing so well, considering the night air, and the very many years she's been out; if she insists upon being treated, call her a dear old creature"— pretend to be excessively drunk ; knock and shout at tbe door of the public- house, when, if they let you in, you must discover you've been robbed of every fraction. An attorney, says Sterne, is to a barrister what an apothecary is to a physician; with this difference, however, that your lawyer does not deal in scruples. To BACHELORS IN PARTICULAR.— See, my friend, that you make your bouse a home. A house is a mere skeleton of bricks, laths, plaster, and wood : a home is the residence not merely of the body, but of the heart. It is a place for the affections to un- fold and develop themselves— for children to love, and learn, and play in— for husband and wife to toil smilingly together, to make life a blessing. A house where the wife is a slattern and a sloven cannot be a home: a house where the husband is u drunkard cannot be a home : a house where there is no happy fireside, no book, no newspaper, cannot be a home. My bachelor brother, there cannot, by any possibility, be a home where there is no wife. To talk of a home without love, we might as well expect to find an English fireside in one of the pyramids of Egypt. To CLEANSIS THE TEETH AND IMPROVE THE BREATH.— To four ounces of fresh prepared water add one dram of Peruvian bark, and wash the teeth with this water in the morning and evening, before breakfast and after supper. It will effectually de- stroy the t irtar on tbe teeth, and remove the offensive smell arising from ttiOse that are decayed, THINGS USELESS.— A woman without a tongue, a coach with" out horses, tt fir. - plare without a chimney, a good dinner without an appetite, a man without honour, a great desire t > spend money without possessing a farthing. The latter is annoying— exceed- ingly. It is not etiquette to accost a lady in the street, unless she first notice you by an inclination of the head. On perceiving this recognition, if you be not intimately acquainted, raise your hat, and pass on without speaking. If you meet a lady in the street with whom youudesire to speak, do not stop her for that purpose ; but torn round and accompany her by the way she is going. You can take leave when you have conclnded what you have to say. AN IMPROVEMENT TO SMOKED HADDOCKS WHEN BROILED. Spread over the broiled fish, instead of butter, the yolk of one or more eggs, according to th- i size of the fish; if butter is used as well, it must be spread before the egg is put on. The eggs are to be boiled soft, sufficiently only to set the whi'e. AN UNLOOKED- FOR VISITOR; OR, THE GENTLEMAN WITH THE NOSE. ( See first page.) A COLUMN FOE EVERYBODY- In certain parts of the great metropolis, and indeed in all large towns, are to be found, notwithstanding the efforts of the parsons or the police establishments, sacred to the purposes of illicit love. Strange looking buildings are they, and strange, very strange, are soane of the characters who repair thither. At such places the language used is not conspicuous for its elegance, or precisely of the description recognised in the presence of royalty. From the variety of the visitors who repair to them, there is often consider- able difficulty in describing to the fair inmates, the person of some of their admirers, and a playful description of metaphor is indulged in by way of classifying the visitors, which often leads to singular mistakes. Thus Miss Marian lives on the first floor— she has a friend in the Customs, and he is termed ' the Government gentle- man," in contradistinction to her dark friend, who always calls on a Tuesday, and is designated " the gentleman in black." Now Miss Eliza Dilks rented the front parlour ; she was a very elegant creature, particularly partial to sherry, sofa- lounging, and spaniels, the former she indulged in as often as convenient, and the two latter every afternoon. Miss Dilks had been one of the ' pets of the ballet,' and her portrait, full length, a la Taglioni, hung sus- pended in her sitting- room. Miss Dilks had, however, been re- moved by the kindness of a friend, the Hon. Moffington Muff, Esq., from publicly displaying her agility at her Majesty's Theatre, to a quiet retreat near Regent's Park, where the Hon. Mr. Muff frequently called to see her. But Mr. Muff had a vast elongation of nasal arrangement, a fearful ' organ of smell'— he was known amongst his pals as ' King Konk,' ' Baron Beak,' & c. It was not, J therefore, probable a man possessing such a Nose, could be beloved by the delioious Miss Dilks. It was preposterous. No, Eliza had her young man, a large grocer, who retailed sugar iu Oxford- street and dropt into Miss D. as often as convenient. The grocer, however, had an elderly youth who carried out parcels, and brought messages to his lady, who boasted of a probasus fully as large as that of Mr. Muff. Gne evening Miss D. whilst amusing herself in a conversation with her ' grocer laddie,' and awaiting the arrival of the giant- nosed porter, the servant suddenly entered and announced a visitor. Eliza had barely time to conceal her sweet boy, and arrange herself upon the sofa, when the servant ( the vulgar creature), announced the new comer as being ' Only the gentleman with the Nose'( see cut). The light of the passage lamp fell full upon the features of Mr. Muff. He was indignant at the appellation, but the caresses of his ' dear ( literally) girl' restored him, but ' the course of love ( true or otherwise) never did run smooth.' Shortly after the porter arrived ' The man with the uose.' He inquired for his master. ' The gentleman with the Nose' sniffed something wrong— the cupboard attracted his attention— horrible to relate, Figgins in his agitation had placed his hand behind upon sundry cut tnmblers, which in return had tumbled and cut him. All, all was discovered, and Miss Dilks, though she kept the grocer, lost the Gentleman with the Nose.' A GENTLEMAN while skating fell into the water, and ran im- minent risk of his life. A man with BOme difficulty pulled him out. The gentleman rewarded his preserver with sixpence. The bystanders expressed some surprise respecting the insufficiency ol the sum, but the man coolly observed that the gentleman knew best what his own life was worth. A wise man takes life as he takes physic: he shuts his eyes and swallows, it without asking questions. How SINGULAR I—' ' Tis very strange,' muttered a young man as he staggered home from a supper party, ' how evil communi- cations corrupt good manners. I've been surrounded by tumblers all the evening, and now I find I'm a tumbler myself.' WHY does a steel pen manufacturer encourage vice?— Because he makes people steal pens, and tells them they do right ( write) HARD MONEY ILLUSTRATED.— A gentleman, fifty years ago, gave his daughter, at her birth, a diamond ring, costing 1,500 dollars, which she has still in her possession, and which will remain in the family. A gentleman, at the same time time, gave his daughter 1,500 dollars, which was invested for her use at a per cent, compound interest; and as no part of the amount was used, the sum at this day has accumulated to 44,185 dollars, 50 cents i while the lady's diamond ring remains at its origiual value. Rousseau's advice to the Poles was,' If you could not prevent your neighbours from swallowing you, manage at least that thev may not digest you.' A VERY QUEER TASTE. A strange instance of walking during sleep occurred to a de- ceased Hampshire baronet. This gentleman was nearly driven to distraction by the fact that every night he went to bed in a shirt, and every morning awoke naked, without the smallest trace of the missing garment being discovered. Hundreds of shirts dis- appeared in this manner; and as there was no fire in his room it was impossible to account for the mystery. The servants believed their master to be mad ; and even he began to fancy himself be- witched. In this conjuncture, he implored an intimate friend to - leep in the room with him, and ascertain by what manner of mysterious visil ant his garment was so strangedy removed. The friend, accordingly, took up his station in the haunted chamber; and lo! as the clock struck one, the unfortunate baronet, who had previously given audible intimation of being fast asleep, rose from his bed, rekindled with a match the candle which had been extin- guished, deliberately opened the door, and quitted the room. His astonished friend followed ; saw him in succession open a variety of doors, and pass along several passages, traverse an open court and eventually reach the stable- yard, where he pulled off his shirt, and di posed of it in au old dung heap, into which he thrust it by means of a pitchfork. Having finished this extraordinary operation, without taking the smallest heed of his friend, who stood looking on, and plainly saw th t he was walking in his sleep, he returned to the house, carefuly closed the doors, re- extinguished the light, and returned to bed, where the following morning he awoke, as usual, strippea of his shirt. The astonished eye- witness of this extraordinary scene, instead of apprising the sleep- walker of what had occurred, insisted that the following night a companion should sit up with him, choosin g to have additional testimony to the truth of the statement he was about to make ; and the same singular events were renewed, with- out the slightest change or deviation. The two witnesses accord- ingly divulged all they had seen to the baronet; who, though at first incredulous, became of course, convinced, when, on proceed- ing to the stable- yard, several dozens of shirts were discovered ; ihough it was surmised that as many more had been previously removed by one of the helpers, who probably looked upon the hoard as stolen goods concealed by some thief. AN ASSORTED CARGO— A vessel sailed from New York, a few days ago, for some part of India, with four missionaries 40,000 gallons of New England rum, three opera singers, a Catho- lic priest, a quaker, and a largo quantity of cigars. " Get away 1 get away !" said an embarrassed matron to a house- less pat, who was begging a night's lodging : this is no place for you. Go away, for shame! this is the lying- in hospital."' " Och, indeed, thin," replied the outcast, « ' it's the very place for me', for I've been lying out these three nights." PRUDENTIAL CONSIDERATION.— The lady of a distinguished officer died in one of tlie colonies, having previously expressed a wish to be buried in England. She was, accordingly, deposited in a cask of mm, for the purpose of transport home, but remained in the cellar after the officer's second marriage; the detention being occasioned by his expectation that the duty on the Bpirit imported into England, in which the dear departed was preserved would, in a few years, be either lowered or taken off altogether. A YOUNG woman, on alighting, dropped a ribbon from her bon- iet in the bottom of the coach. " You have left your bpw ^ ehi| U< L'' said a lady passenger. " No, I hav'nt: he's gone a- fis^ mg," inno- cently rejoined the damsel. A Mr. M , has written to a Glasgow paper, informing the public that he thinks the newspaper record of his d. eath. w ip- correct. He says that to the best of his knowledge iie is ilive, and would be ' kicking,' if he could find the author of the} . report. UNPUBLISHED DOGMA OP DOCTOR JOHNSON.— The IRIAH who wears a moustache has no right to eat vermicelli sotfg," .... A calm, blue- eyed, self- eomposed, and self- possessed yourg lady, received a gossipping call the other day, from a prying old spinster, who, after prolonging her stay beyond even her owii con- ception of the young lady's endurance, came to the maiu question which had brought her thither:—" I have been asked a good many years if you were engaged to Dr. C , Now, it folks inquire again whether you are or not, what shall I tell them I ' think?'" " Tell them," answered the young lady, fixing her calm blue eyes in unblinking steadiness upon the inquisitive fta- tnres of her interrogator," tell tbem that you ' think ' you don't know, and that you are ' sure ' it is none of your business." To be well spoken of you must " kick the bucket." Even a pauper, when dead, is mentioned without asperity ; aud that's as much as any pauper can expect. An American friend of ours carries his sense of honour so far, as to spend all his time in perfect idleness, because he does not like to ' take advantage ' of time. Two Quakers, resident in Philadelphia, applied to their society, as they do not go to law, to decide iu the following difficulty :— A is uneasy about a ship that ought to have arrived; meets B, an usurer, and states his wish to have the vessel insured— the matter is agreed upon— A returns home, and receives a letter, informing him of the loss of his ship. What shall A do ? He is af aid that the policy is not filled up, and should B hear of the matter soon it is all over with him-— he therefore writes to B thus— " Friend B, if thee hasn't tilled up the policy thee needs'ut, for ' I've heard of tbe ship.' " " Oh, oh!" thinks B to himself— " cunning fellow— he wants to do me out of the premium.'' So he writes thus to A :—" Friend A, thee be'est too late by half an hour, the policy is filled." A rubs his hands with delight— jet B refuses to pay, Well, what is the decision? The loss is divided between them. Perhaps this is even- handed justice, though un- questionably an odd decision. " How seldom it happens," rematked one friend to another " that we find editor's bred to the business J" " Quite as seldom,'' replied tiie other, " that we find the business ' bread' to the editors." When a certain great man had called the producers of wealth, " the swinish multitude," a barber in a populous district adopted the title, and put over his shop, " Shaver to the Swinish Multi- tude.'' A zealous magistrate desired him to take it down, and finding his order disobeyed, called to say, that, if fu did not remove the offensive board, he would make him. " You can't," says the barber. " I will," says the magistrate. " I have had counsel's opinion upon it,'' said the barber. " Well, and what did he say ?" " He said that I was a great fool for putting it up, and that you were a bigger for taking notice of it." There are more fools than knaves iu the world, else the knaves would not have enough to live upon. CURIOUS AD VERTISEM ENT.— The following odd announcement has appeared in the TIMES :—" A lady, competent to make tea, scold tho servants, aud render herse. f agreeable and uselul some- times, wishes a situation. She could contribute to the comforts of au elderly lady aud gentlemen, or may be found an acquisition in the house otauold gentleman or nobleman. No objection t0 travel. Terms 100 guineas per annum." Of course it's a laik. The following lines, said to be prophetic, have been current for many ji ars iu many parts of the Continent:— I would not be a king in 1848. I would not be a soldier iu 1849. I would not be a grave digger in 1850. But I would be wbutever you please in 1851. A lady at Bridgewater, on going from home, instructed her cook to roast a hare for dinner. At her return, on entering the kitchen, she was surprised to fee no liare before the fire. She called aloud for Sally, and inquired the cause. The servant replied with rustic simplicity : " Lor, ma'am, 1 have been ' picking' of ' en ever since jou left, and ha'n't finished ' en jet." The girl had been treating the fur as feathers. Chateaubriand says, " In new colonies the Spaniards begin by building a church; the French a ball room; aud the English a tavern." ^ Why does a dog's tail resemble happiness ? it as he will he cannot catch it. Bee ause, run a fte ANECDOTE OP LORD KENYQN.— To a more hnmble class in the profession— attorney's clerks— Lord Kenyon often showed forbearance and kindly feeling. He had been a clerk himself, and would venture to play with the cubs before their claws were grown. Soon after his appointment as Master of the Rolls, he was listening attentively to a young clerk, . in whom the duty had fallen of reading to him the conveyance of an estate, and who on coming to the word ' enough ' pronounced it ' enow.' His houour immediately iuierrupted him : ' Enough, according to the verna- cular idiom, is pronounced, euuff, and so must all English words which end in ough,— as tough, rough, cough.' The clerk bowed, blushed, and went on reading for some time, when, ( lo! the dan- ger of a too comprehensive a rule) coining to the word plough, he, with a raised voice and a penetrating glanee at his honour, called it ' pluff.' The great lawyer stroked his chin, and with a smile, candidly S lid,—' Young man, I sit corr. ctad.' ' There is no place like home,' says the poet— right! unless it's the home of the young woman you're ' after.' That is, of course an exception. Future poets will please to note it. i* HB BACK NUMBERS T.' HE TO W N A as NOW RB> FRINTING. FISH FAG.—" A person of . the feminine gender, but of masculine habits, and inclinings, vending fish, and using Billingsgate lan- guage."— SLANG DICT. FISH FAG.—" A Peripatetic feminine retailer of soaley com- modities,''— WALKER. In the sketches that we weekly present to our readers, we en- deavour as much as possible to contrast character, and we think that it cannot be better done, than placing one week in juxta- position with the elegant creature who does the light fantastie toe, at the Casino, the ' scaley' matron, who gets her ' bread ' by ' fishing' for it, and bringing her ' business to a stand' on the Queen's highway. ' i. e.' the fish woman. The genuine unadulterated right slick go- a- head fish- fag, has however, from time in memorial, been associated with Clare Market; there she is to be found in all her glory ; there, ( to use her own choice phraseology) she can make herself a match for any ' Billingsgate Barge,' and at slang or abuse,' she'll give seven chalks out of nine, and ' towel' any four before breakfast;' in short, to quote the language of a dear departed poet, " She's as flash as the knocker of Bridewell, As down as a ninepenny nail; Her gut for liquor's a wide well, For she'll take it by quart or by pail." The glory has, however, in a great measure departed from the Fish- fag, the times have even affected her, and she sighs for the days that are gone. We can remember the time when ladies of this class could flash their ' fawnejs' ( rings), seven and eight on each hand, indeed, in the oyster aud mackerel season for an itin- erant vender to go down to the ' gate,' without her garnet or coral rings, and two or three gold keepers would be losing coste altogether. The Fish Fag is generally the wife of a costermouger, hard working and industrious, aud, with but few exceptions, virtuous ; in fact, it's the boast of persons of her class that they are always '' square' to their old man,' for in the words of the old song, " Though I swears and ' does' my gin, And looks both flash and knowing, There's not a cove in this ' ere town- Can say as I'm a b . Some of the fish women have been famous for their looks, old Betty Arrowsmith, who till recently sold sprats in Gray's Inn Lane, was a very pretty girl in her day, and her beauty attracted the attention of his amourously inclined Majesty, George the IV., for it is a matter of history, that he once went us far on purpose to see her, and ultimately treated her to a' drain of short' at the Pheasant. Another was Polly Suiithson, ( or Fair Polly as she was called), who hung herself a few years back in Great Wild Street, because her true love was transported, ( rare example of constancy), she was a very good looking woman, but then the gin she could swallow was fearful. Nightingale's, Clare Market, was the head quarters of the Fish Fags of the olden time, where the quantity of' blue ruiu' they were wont to drink, has rendered the terms gin drinking aud fish fag syuonomous. Our artist in his sketch has not given us a very ' lovely' facial view of ' the fairest of earth's creation '— the ' fish lag ' depicted above, is probably in the sear aud yellow leaf,' or like poor Betty Arrow- smith, her beauty belongs to a day that has departed. The pipe, and the care taken of the head and chin, with the handkerchief bespeak her to belong to the ' middle ages'— and consequently like her sprats, viewed best by candlelight. WIT IN CHOOSING TEXTS.— A young preacher in the time of James I., being appointed to hold forth before the Vice- Chancellor and heads of colleges at Oxford, chose for his text, " What! can- not ye watch one hour ?" which carried a personal allusion, as tbe Vice- Chancellor happened to be one of those heavy- headed persons, who cannot attend church without falling asleep. The preacher repeated his text in uu emphatic manner, at the end of every division of his discourse, the unfortunate Vice- Chaucellor as often awoke ; and this happened so otten, that at last all pre- sent could very well see the joke. The Vice- Chancellor was so nettled, that he complained to the Archbishop of Canterbury, who sent lor the yonug clergyman to reprove liirn. The latter gave so many proofs of his wit and good sense, that his grace procured him the honour of preaching before the king. Here also he had his joke. He gave out his text in these words— " James the First and Sixth,' Waver not ;' " which, of course, everybody present saw to be a stroke at the indecisive character of the monarch. James, equally quick- sighted, exclaimed, " He is at me already." But he was, upon tbe whole, BJ well pleased with this clerical wag as to make him one of his chaplains in ordinary. He afterwards went to Oxford, and preached a ser- mon on the text, " Sleep on now, and take your rest." It is a fact, that although the Irish are constantly makiDg bulls aud are ofteu bullied, they are seldom or ever cowed. The miser is as much in want of that which he has as that which he has not. LAST week, our artist gave to our readers a sketch of a London wine- room, and by way of accom- paniment he has inducted to us one of these semi- nocturnal rendezvous of pleasure, to be found " out of Town;" the scene is laid in Manchester, and it will be perceived that our provincial friends are quite as " fast," and active, in the pursuit of pleasure, as those of the great Metropolis. It is not our purpose to render the TOWN a medium for advertising places of the above description; it will therefore suffice for us to say, that the room delineated above by our artist, is well known in Manchester to " go- a- head " youth. The figure leaning upon the stick at the mantel piece, is a young swell of considerable property, who creates a great sensation, and cut a pretty suspicious figure during the recent Eoyal Casino rows. The wine- rooms in London have been greatly disproved of by the powers that be, and steps, it is said, are being taken, to limit, if possible, the powers of the " free vintners"— but the proceedings at our Cockney establishments sink into insignificance, when compared with the doings enacted in the " NIGHT- HOUSES " in provincial towns. THE FAMILY GARDENER, FEBRUARY HINTS FOR WIDOWS. Put away your weeds. If left with a family trim yourself, and plant daughters in favourable situations. Sift your neighbours' circumstances, and do your best to nail the most wealthy. Prune your personal expenses, and cultivate " heart's- ease." Let your dwelling be a conservatory for the incipient shoots and elder branches of the aristocracy. Always make your beds as you would lie on them. Combine economy with elegance. Look into your servant's- box, and detect superfluous trimmings, Drive away all butterflies who gad about with your daughters. If children be disobedient, make their domicile a hothouse, say that a worm will turn and put away the grub. i& otim to ffiomspoitiients. CURRY.— Do as you promise, but finish it. It must not exceed two or three numbers at the utmost. JAMESON.— Of Hicks. A Correspondent asks—' What herb are you reminded of when your mother is upbraiding you for coming home late and your father chiding you by per- verting tho truth?— Marjorum and Parsley.' CJIARI. ES VIGORS.— We quite agree with you in some of your remarks. The cause you complain of is not the fault of the Editor. CRUCIBLE ( Birkenhead).— We intend using your last communication when finished. How can we write to you ? SIG. MONTANO.— It is a different edition— imperfect. A RAKE DE LOXDRES ET PARIS,— We will write to you. GEO. M. T. ( Worcester)— The things must have been sent you. We have had other parties Ads. in THE TOWN but finding they were swindiers we refused to continue them. LITTLE CHARLEY ( Maidstone).— Sing madrigals at Evan's ( Piazza's)! I believe yer, my boy. Was you ever there? if not— go, but stop and hear Jack Sharp no Lola Monies before you leave. P— A— L— ( Liverpool).— Let us know where a letter will reach you, and we will GIVE you some advice upon the subject. N. O. G.— If she swears it— yes; but you can appeal against the decision a' the sessions. E. G. ( Fore street)— 1. Yes. 2. He may make the will, but still she can claim. H . G. H. ( Bristol)— We are heartily tired of ' the Albata Snuff Box Hoax,' inserted in the town talk of No. 26, the box was presented as a just reward for H ' s presumption and pomposity, in dubbing himself 1 THEATRICAL CRITIC AND AUTHOR ; he has returned tohis trade of bookbinding, there let him remain, and if he wishes to act let him confine that and his criticism to the Bristol Amateur Club. WE have been called upon to make the AMENDE HONORABLE relative to the above. A gentleman connected with the LONDON press having been sup- posed to ibe the person alluded to. It is clearly a case of ' MISTAKEN IDENTITY.' T. T. T. ( St. IvesV- There is no difficulty about obtaining the mixture so often mentioned in this publication as a restorative after a night's intoxi- cation. Write to our publisher; and, for a half a crown in postage stamps, he will foward four do> es with directions. We repeat that for twenty years we have never known it fail, WE have received from a gentleman at Newcastle on Tyne, one shilling and sixpence for the Mixture; how are we to forward it. Again send your address. D. X. B. ( Millbank)— What a lark 1 Let us know the name of the one- eyed publican. An open barge on the river, at ten o'clock, at this time of the year, must be a fearful entertainment; but when a black lady assists in the exercise, we can only say WE don't tnvy his position. JUVENIS ( Southwark Bridge- road)— Is in a hurry for his article being in- serted, he must wait his turn, he says— Again, and again, in vain and in vain Your Town I've searched through and through, sir, To see if a line I could look on as mine, Bu'. the d— 1 take me, if I do, sir, Why are you so long with them— is there ought wrong with em, Or will they come out, sir, at all. My talent you know, sir, I'm anxious to show, sir, Be it ever so great or so small. PULLING ( Salisbury).— NO doubt the buying or selling of a wife is an indict- able offence, and persons so acting may be prosecuted for a misdemeanour, but we know the thing as been commonly done in parts of England, ' navies' and costermongers disposing of their ' old woman' for a pint of beer. A COUNTRY READER.—' Modest Martha,' and ' Manon Lescaut,' will be concluded in No. 57. AsrEx ( Manchester)-— If Roman cement be mixed with hot water, we believe it sets more quickly, nor do we think it injurious. L. L. R. ( Glasgow)— It has been estimated that 100,000 cross London Bridge daily on foot. NIGHTCAP ( Liverpool).— Holloa there.— What you are not dead then,— very good— send us your PAPYRUS, old blow- bladder, when you like, and to what extent you like. C. C. H. ( Andover)—' Attempted to roast Lady Barrymore in Stnilhfield. Nonsense. You must be wretchedly green upon town topics. ' Was poor Mother Emmerson a curate's wife.' ( Oh, oil.)— You've been reading Fox's book of martyr's, my child. A MODEST MAN ( Tichborne- st.)— You are quite correct, the brazen im- pudence of the French prostitutes, who nightly parade Waterloo- place, would shame the efforts of our Itatcliffe- highway trolls. Do not call them WOMEN. WEST ( Wisbech).— Carbonate of soda if taken in a glass of coll water, about the quarter of a tea spoonful, dissolves the acidity of the stomach, and hence is good for bile. A CONSTANT READER.— Uncertain. j CROSS READINGS next week. ( Other communications next week.) TO COUNTRY BOOKSELLERS & NEWS- AGENTS i^ mmmmm making it his endeavour to deserve their 2 S h newfPal* rs. dispatch in collecting and forwarding ihlYr ^ i P - y hls Pr° mptness and articles. Cash in advance ? orthe" fir's. toCt ™ '' ™ ' 8maliest w. WINN, 34, Holywell- street, Strand, London. PRIVATE HINTS ON ALL SECRET DISEASFS may be confidentially consulted ( without a ftef from^' a. m^ t' ^ I,"'! 0 promptfy^ Uendet^ to.^ an^ Imi^ i^ ds. Letters of Disease perfectly cured within a wee£ s'eminaVWeakness' in a menST" Medicine suitable to the symptoms sent to all parts ( sub rosa)! month-~ THE CONFESSIONS OF A LADY'S MAID, a picture of fashionable passion and seduction. Price 2s. 6d. post free. JUST REPRINTED- SECRETS FOR YOUNG MEN, SINGLE MEN, AND MARRIED MEN; giving a description, by which all diseases may be cured without medical aid, " This is a uselul little work, and 6hould be read by every Englishman." ' Old Bell's Weekly Messenger." 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