V % * T H E 3 0 1 O B S E R V A T O R The New Freneh- Irifli Plot. The Folly and Madnefs of it. The Contrivance, Scope, and Defign ofthe Managers behind the Curtain. Certain Rules of Good Government for Sham- Evidence. A Civil Word to the Courantief. ft t U t O f t ? M a r c h 1 6 . 1 6 8 2 . TRIM- T> Ut I could never learn the My fiery of MER. XJ this Irijh Bus^ nrfi. OBSERVATOR. Nothing in the world, but we are like to have a Forward Spring, ye fee and a ( 0m- . tlentait- jfootman brought over a Bag of Frejh pot= sS> er&, to Try what account it will Turn to here in England. . Trim. Well! But the Strait; the Ctrcumffancesfj the : The French they fay are up to the Ears in't. Obf. Nay there Is more in't I tell ye then molt people are aAware of. But I can lay nothing of the Particulars, more then Mr John Smith's Paper tells Me, where he fets the Enformer forth for a Gufman gives ye a Short Hiftoryoihis Adventures & Exploits j and then Fairly, Lands him at Whitehall with his Budget of ' Dijcoveries. Trim. Nay, I am wholly a Stranger to the Proceeding • But yet they fay there are Matters of Moment in his information. Obf. If you mean Inconfiftencies, and ContradiElions, I am apt to believe there Are : But Euftace Comins it feems knows nothing of the Bus'nefi. Trim. And do you think it will Blow over thus i Obf. Why Peradventure it May Peradventure Not -, and all as the Weather, and the Occafion lerves 5 for Plotting in a State, is fomewhat like Horfo- Reddifh in a Garden: When't has once gotten root, it overruns the Ground, and the DeviHhimfelf will hardly get it Out again. Trim. So ' twill never come to any thing you think. Obf. Not to the Drawing of Bloud, I prefume: Bat you may live to fee a Thoufand Pretty Things fall- in by the By\ and then ' twill furnifla matter forCo « - ravts, and News- Letters, in Sacula S& eulorum. Trim. Come, without any more Trifling i how is it that you underftand the matter ? Obf. I cannot fpeak to One Step of it, but by Surmife, and Conjecture; and yet methinks I have a Scheme ofthe whole Roguery. Trim. This Difiemper in your H ad has madcytur Brains to Crow, and you take Every Fancy foe a Revelation. Obf. Well! BKt Right or Wrong, a man may be nAllow^ d to tell his Dream at a venture. This Projett methinks, comes into the world, under the Protettioti of a Dilemma -, and Better Heads then Dennifes too in the Cafe. There is a Plot to be fet- afoot j and how to Break the Ice of it is the Queftion: The Story Contrived -, Way made for the bringing of it upon the Stage; and here's the Point now, in Deliberation. Either the En former will be Heard, or Not. If he be turn'doff, Unheard; why then there's the Sweetefi Plot in Latvender, that ever Crofs'd the Narrow Seas •, and fuch work for Pamphlets, and T^ ews- Papers, as never was heard of, fince Beaingfield the Jefuite made his Efcape Under- ground, from the Gatehonfe to Newark^ fo many weeks afcer he was 3DeaU. In fhort j Here's a Foundation for what Plot foever the Author pleafes; fo much Time Gain'd for the Shaping, and Accommodating of the Defign to any Following Accident and no more then This to be faid in't, at laft - that This or That, would have been made as Clear as the day, if Honefi Captain, or 2D0U0J Tool perhaps ( for the Office Imports a ^ Dignity ) might but have had the Hearing: But things will never be better, fb long as French Penfiotiers, and Popifh Councells have fuch an Influence upon the Adminifiration of Publique Affairs. Now fuch an Hiflery as This, before a Clofe Committee of 1642. well Reprefentedi and well Husbanded would have been enough to have Disbanded the whole Privy C ounce ll, and brought Twenty Kings to the Scaffold. Trim. But what is all this to the Purpofe ? For the Man was % arO, ye fee. Obf. You fay Right. And that's the Other Point of the Forkj Either they 521( 11 hear him, or fays the Centrihcr. If jfiot, the Firft Favourable Seafon for a Complaint againft the King, and the Miniflers, will Blow up a Greater Flame in the Kingdom then' we have leen yet •• But in cafe of Obtaining a Hearingswe have no more to do then to provide him a Safe Retreat, if matters fliould not fo Succeed, as to Anfwer the Scope, and Intent ofthe Defign. Trim. So. But that Hearing's over \ his Enformation taken upon Oath, I prefume. He has made himfelf Ridiculous, you fay, by Putting his Matters fo lilt*' gether. No body would Believe him ; and in fine, the Difcovery is wholly fall'n to the Ground. Obf. Do you Imagine then, that this Inftrument was the only String the Fattitn had to their Bow? Or that he was not to be Backed, and Seconded by Other South- Sayers and Diviners, from behind the Curtain ? Or that This was a Plot only Calculated for Ireland ? No DO, Trimmer, this was a Travelling Plot 5 the Stages, before- hand, Cut out the Hackneys Laid; their Walks Mottct) them; and themfelves Inftru& ed in all their Ayrs, how far to Advance j when to Stop , and when to Turn. Trim. Well! But they mult make fure of fome men of Quality, to fill up the Teflimony -, for the People will never give any Credit elfe to the Difcovery. Obf. What doll thou talk of Quality Trimmer j in a man that has once got the Sacred flarattcr of a 3& fng# Cctot& mte upon his back/ It looks a little Sulpicioufly, I muft Confefs, to fee Grooms, and the Dregs of Jayls, and other Houfes of Infamy, and Correction, pretend to know more of the Intrigues, and Cabinets of Princes, then all the Minifters of the Chriftian world befide -, and fuch Fellows fet up in their Teftimonies for the Pretended Support of a Religion, and State, whofe Lives, and Practices are a ScandaU to the Divine Signature of God's Image upon ^ fankind. Trim. Why where d'ye find any fuch Thing ? Obf. No. Not yet,' tis True: But yet remember what I now foretell ye. You fhall not find any man to Appear in the Sequel of this Pretext, that wears a Bet terA/ arki that is to fay, If fome l^ tw Knight ofthe ted and tlnblemifh'd Reputations? Shall any tiiari Toft fh'all happen to ftart up into This Fuvftion, I dare venture my own Credit upon't, that upon a ftrift Enquiry into the Char after ot the Man, you lhall finde hira a Cake of the fame Leaven. Tnm. You have gotten a Trick^ oi Leading a Man away from hisTV^ fbut pray let me Mmd ye of One thing you have Pafd ever. You were fpeaking, methought, as if an Englifh Sham- Plot might have been Grafted upon this Irifh One, if it had gone Heartily forward. I cannot Imagine by what Means and Methods it was poflible for them to bring this about. Obf. With as much Eafe as a Cat Wajhes her face •, aiid tbe Tranfition is fo Nam all, that there's hardly any Avoiding it. As to the gleans and tWIerhods, they are matter of Ordinary Difcrttiott, and things of Courfe. There mult be Letters, and Commiffions pafs, ye know, Catalogues of Names , Swearing of Hands; Difttnguijhing of Perfons, and Offices ; Men muft fee as well by Can& lHt'gl) t, as by £ Daj)-- lt'g! jt; and fpeak readily to All Interrogatories, whether a Man be © lack, or fate } ^ all, or Hoto; Groft, or Slender , and above all things, have a care of St » arcp'fi •• And then people muft be wary of keeping within compafi, and not Vnneceffartly Enfiame the Expence o f a Plot beyond Misfire, and Reafon. JJrUgatttp and jfractt'Olt, goes a Great way in the Authority of the Calculation. ' Tis a Madneft for any man to fay, he's a Tboujand Pound that wears a Fair, and an Hone ft Char after in the world be Judg'd a Villain upon the Teftiraony of Known Froftitutes, and Branded sJlfalefaftors ? Trim. Gome, Hcarkye. I think you had as good Adjourn_ yf « >" Irifh- Plot till anothtr dayvand bellow a word ttr two upon the Courant. You are mightily beholding he fays, to the Authourof Oates^ s Manifefto, fol. 25. And. advifes people to Obfirve who a> e VEJtranges Applaudcrs, and ( jutfi if thty can at the Reafon flElfofc Courant Mar. 9. 1682. Obfl know nothing of the Authour, nor ever heard, either dtreftly, or Indtreftly, any thing concerning the Book till I bought it at my own door. But 1 am beholden to him for his Good word, whoever he be. Now your Zealotts ( fourantier, methinks , is more Outers enemy then the Manifefto- Make* htm - _ fdf-, for he only takes a Snap at his ^ mpuDence,' and leaves him to Ihift for himlelf, with all his Pretended ContraWttl'ong. And it is a Sufpiciout Mark. uponthe Comantier too, that no other Printer could pleafe him then Aftwood that ^ Printed CollepjJ livaeee^ ljote, for Franc. Smith. Trim. Ay, but the Story of your Bell weather of a Conventicle, of Feb. 28. Laft- Paft, about the IVhorc- Mafters, & the St one- Hoi fts, that's the Main Bus'nels. He Challenges ye in your nexr, to Vouch your good Authority, and AJfign the Conventicle where this xvat heldforth, or elje fairly to Retraft it: And down on your Old out of Pocket, thatwas never Honeftly worth ten Groats Fornicating Mary- bo. its, and humbly and penitently Confifs, that you are a Lyar, and a S Under er orelfeke'le Spoilyoh among the Clergy for being the Occafion of Pa#- lifiting this Scandalous i'uipit- Adventure. Ibid. Obf. So that it feems the Hiftory of the Maid in the Weft •, and the Hypecnfy. of the Holder- forth there. Obf. 195. Ihe Ecftatiqne Contemplation, upon the wonders of the Deep, cn the Occafion of Baptizing a Child, io his own- cited Obfervator. 296. and a hundred Storys befide that 1 could Mufer up .• All theie are Authentique, it leems; and he lias taken juft as much pains to Charge One Lye upon the Obkrvator, as a man muff do to find out One Truth in the Courantier. / wonder he has not put me to Trove my Diffenters Sayings too: But pray tell him that unlefs he Ihews me his Commijjion, I wiil not be Examin'd uponOath-, and that I will not Publifh my Hiftory by l& ctail: But if he has a mind to deal by the Lump, l ie tell him who it was, that wen t from a Whore to the Sacrament with VnWaflPd Handsj which of the Non- Cons ' twas that dropt a Tent in Covsnt- Garden; who it was that Attempted the Cozening One Widow upon a Bond and Aftualiy Coz. en'danother, by Confpiracy, and both upon Truft. I could Name ye the Fellow too, that Wheadled a woman in to give Bond to pay him Forty pound a year, fo long as ] he Continu'd a Widow: But if I cannot be Believed without telling of Names, I could find in my heart to Oblige the world witha Clavistothz whole Seriesotmy Papers. Now for the Pulpit- Adventure that he talks of, you will find, Obf. 293. and elfewhere, that I have not been Partial that way. But the Extravagance I reflected upon is of SInotfjer » > ramp: For Encreafe & Multiply, is the lattice, as well as the ^ text, of a Contienti'cle. Only One word now to the Obfervators Old Fornic*- ting- Mary- bones He Vows Solemnly, that whenever he comes to That Sport, it lhall be done in very Good Company, if all the Tribes of the True- Troteftant- Diffenters will A ford it 5 and once more to the Pulpit- Adventure, I meant no Pulpit, hut a Conventicle; which in his Life; or to be at the Charge of Fifty or Threefeore Thoufand < J? rlen for an Invafion, when the Tenth Part of That Number would have done every jot as well upon the Mufteri, • s. n& Squar'd better with the Credit of the information: And then to ftrike a bargain for fo many Thaufdnd Guinnies by the Gob, it looks like dealing upon the Tick- What does any man care what you fit him down, when the Bill is never £ 0 be pay'd ? And then I'me for Beating of the Price down to the Tenth part of a Farthing tod; it gives a Countenance of Care and Confidence to the Roguery. You cannot Imagine how thfd Odd Money Graces the Reckoning. Now you flieil have fbme of thefe Fellows Levy ( f old out of an Trijh Bogg, as if it were no more then dipping into the tSMmcs of Potefi. The Inftruments mult be well Skill'd in the Map 106, and in the Soundings they1! March ye an Enemy elfe Horfe, Foot, and Cannon, in Fifteen Fathom Water •, or bring in a Fleet upon ye of Sight hundred, or a Tloottfand Tun a VeJfeS, where the Devill himfelf Yiould be run a- ground in an Egg;- jhsll: And then no doubt on't they'l have the Wit to make nfe of Winibffes well- Qualifyd for the Fuhfti- 6nStanch, Sobei( Men not an Oath, or a Loofe word among a Thottfandtofem. Fellows that lhall Hang an A'rfe, whenthey come to give their Evidence, as if tbey were going to the Gallows Themfelves: And then they muft be Furnifn'd with fet Speeches to Ihew how unwillingly they appear upon thatNecejfaryOffice of Freferving their King, and their Country. It would be never the worfe if they were Threatened with Extremities unlefs they would Difcover this, or that 5 and then to ftand it our, Heroically, that ttjeyl rather be tB? nto picces toitl) ( 12ifttb^ e? ft0, tfjm tormtg tijetr ConfdmtejS. It has a Good Countenance, ye know to fee a witnefiRentier in a cafe of £ 3lotiJ>; whereas if they fhould Employ Drinking, Whortng, Swearing, Blalfheming Rafealls, People would be apt to Cry, fhall the Oaths of fuch Profligates as Thefe pafs upon the Lives and Fortunes of Men Othervfifi of Untain- I will not Name for mp 3jnteHi'pncer0 faluv l, andony Printed for Joanna Bromt at the Gun in S. Panls Church- yard.