PENCILLING^ ABOUT TOWN; OB, LEAVES FROM PAUL'S SKETCH BOOK. No. V. DETERMINED to be in the City in good time this morning, Paul swallowed a hasty breakfast, and only stepped into the garden to gather a single white rose, wherewith to adorn his button- hole ( for we never leave home for the day without cither a rose or a carnation— and sometimes both— in the button- hole of our dress- coat, and would no more think of going to business without our lovely floral companion, than we would think of going without our hat, shirt, or breeches). Taste they say is something, but habit they say is everything, and we could no more pass an entire day in the City without this little agreeable addenda, than a certain celebrated Divine could get through his " one sermon a week," unless his waistcoat pocket was previously filled with the accustomed quota of rappee, wherewith he was wont— in the solemn pauses ofhis discourse— to stimulate his " olfactory" with a profusion, rather surprising to the uninitiated among his flock. Now, far be it from us to indulge in any such filthy habit ; we can take a " pinch" now and theu, and can even enjoy a single pinch of " Lundyfoot," just after dinner, with perhaps, another and a final pinch, while Betsy Jane is arranging the dessert, but nothing more; Ave would not " carry a box" for the world, lest, in spite of ourselves, we might— in the frequent aberrations of our mind— indulge so often in the practice, that what wc here condemn might, even with us, become a habit, than whieh, to our thinking, nothing can be;} more odious and disgusting. Glad indeed are we to see that the practice of carrying a snulf box is for the most part abandoned and given up by the more respectable classes of society, and certaiuly as far as our observations extend, we find the custom very nearly extinct in the City, excepting amongst a few aged apple women and bankers' clerks. But it is high time to step into the " buss," so wc shall give Mr. Conductor a nod as he holds up an enquiring finger and shrieks out " Bank! Bank!" The fellow appears to know by instinct that we arc bound Cityward, anil seems to take it for granted that we shall ride outside, where we perccive already some nine or ten unhappy- looking men perched of a row, with nose aud knees together, evidently in a state of great discomfort, originating partly from the narrowness, and partly from the extreme hardness of the wood of which their " seats" are constructed. No, Mr. Conductor, notwith- standing your eloquence, we have a saving eye regarding the integrity of our " pepper and salt pants," and do decidedly object to the climbing up of the back part of your omnibus— like a torn cat up a cherry tree— the laughing stock, possibly, of every passer by: only consider how ridiculous it would look in a man of our rotundity, after having at some personal risk gained tbe roof, having to crawl along the top like a crab, on all- fours, to his place! Taking these things into con- sideration, we are strongly of opinion, Mr, Conrluctcur, that we prefer riding inside, in spite of your reiterated assurances that there is " more room outside:" we care but little for treading on the gouty extremities of two or three elderly men, whose mauy years' experience as inside passengers of a " 9 o'clock Buss to the City" ought to teach them the pro- priety of keeping their toes tucked well under their respective seats, particularly when they see a " fresh passenger" toiling his way through the obstruction of a double row of obdurate knees and refractory shin- bones: though we will here take occasion parenthetically to mention that, should the " fresh passenger" prove of the feminine gender, and pretty withal, we have always observed the aforesaid refractory members fall away and hide themselves in a remarkable manner, that there may be no impediment to the approach of the fair and welcome stranger; so great is the power of beauty entering an omnibus that the most obese and sulky passenger is quick to gather up bis shank " bones and bowc he stubborn knee at the image of " the divinity;" but should the luckless pas- senger prove to be of the genus homo, then— why then— he is greeted with the most savage scowls, and his passage to a seat effectually barred by a serried file of legs and knees, strengthened and reinforced by a bristling array of sticks and umbrellas; nor is it any use in the " intruder," unpro- vided as he is with fire- arms, attempting to force a passage; such an attempt would only create a scornful laugh, and, perhaps, a fat man would titter, while the poor wretch, overwhelmed with shame and confusion, is fain to sink down, inside the door, on his hams, or else to request the conductor to open the door, and darting out, climb with the agility of a squirrel to hide his confusion on the roof, unconscious of everything except that his exit was marked by some palpable giggling on the part of two, if not three, of the passengers, and a decided titter from the fat man. Now all this, though more than enough to check the incipient " fastness" of the most agile and gassy counter- jumper of Regent- street, is but a small impediment to Paul, who feels, the moment an omnibus door is flung open, that if there is not a free passage there ought to be one, and so dashes on accordingly, utterly regardless of the corns and bunions set in array against him, and plumps himself down next to that pretty damsel in the pink drawn bonnet, who is the only person in the buss polite enough to make the smallest ac- commodating movement towards facilitating a seat for the " fresh passenger." Bless me, how very warm! we feel half melted; and though a gentleman of rather extensive parts, are more than half smothered, " wedged up" as we are in a corner, and partly hid by the flowing skirts and ample drapery of our fair companion: it's rather pleasant, nevertheless, and we should not care to stir a peg, even though half the room in the vehicle were at our service. Paul! thou art a sly dog!— nor are" thy present musings un- tinged by the gentle fires already kindled on those altars sacred to her Cyprian Majesty; what if Mrs. P.' s sharp eye could detect you now skulking out of sight, and as it were steeped to the very chin in the stray folds of rustliiy armazine and shawl of China crape ! For shame, you old vagabond! You have no business here, a fine morning like this you ought to have gone outside! You ought, Mr. Pry!!— Well, well ! indulgent reader, your friend Paul, notwith- standing his very enviable position, is not quite so overcome by the charms of his unknown inamorata, as to be incapable of knowing what lie is about, so, with your permission, we will rouse ourselves from this " most blissful reverie," and take a peep over the rounded shoulder of our fair neighbour; seldom indeed, is it, especially of late years, that we enter an omnibus so soon in the day, and, perhaps, at no hour of the 24 could we meet with a better specimen of " your fat and greasy citizen;" there is just a dozen of them, and they are what the reader would call " a regular set of old codgers;" men, who shine best of an evening, and are peculiarlyTuminous over cold brandy and water and a cigar; they are like so many peas in one shell;— at any rate, they must be relations, for, with the exception of our- selves, and one blooming companion, the other twelve pas- sengers seem all so much alike, that a stranger coming in would conclude at once that they were brothers. One buss contains them as one mother bore; there may, perhaps, be a little difference in their ages, but they are all without excep- tion pot- bellied men, squat in figure, short and stumpy in size, and ten out of the twelve have pimpled noses, while their talk is all of the counting house, or office, and smacks consumedly of the leathern stool. We would wager a small cuisse of Champaigne that a moiety of these worthies may be seen each perched on his " bit of leather," with a pen behind his ear, ( for your elderly city clerk has not yet given in to the absurdity of using a metallic pen,) in less than an hour from this time. But thank goodness, here we are at length at the corner of Princes- strect, Bank, and no sooner does Mr. Conductor open the door, than out rush Messieurs " Les Commerciales " in a body, as if they expected Old Salurnus himself would take the hindmost. Surely a moment or two more or less cannot be of such vast importance to these clerkly gents, that they are ready to break one another's necks in their frantic efforts to gain the street! Well, less than half a minute has sufficed to clear the buss, and Paul himself having already descended the steps, stands waiting, with proffered arm, to assist his compagne du voyage to alight. Was that gentle pressure on our arm intended for a squeeze? We sincerely hope we are not going to do anything naughty! but we do feel an unaccountable palpitation of the heart, and we perceive that the bosom of our embroidered silk waist- coat rises and falls responsive to its beatings, like— like— like the soft plumage of the trembling dove— as we tenderly press the tips of those taper fingers within our own, and oh! thrilling rapture, they are not withdrawn. We must pursue this little adventure— to back out is out of the question; Paul is regularly in for it— to withdraw would be craven and un- like ourselves;— forbid it gallantry! forbid it love! Here's a dilemma! What are we to do? In the public streets too, at ten o'clock in the morning, in a crowded thoroughfare— honour! gallantry! duty! passion! here's a " fix" for a married man and a bashful; shall wc take to our heels and fly? That would be too like a country bumpkin;— no! we cannot, will not, leave her thus without a word; yet, like that widowed warrior, and " child of integrity"— the bereaved Macduff— we " have no yrprds"!!! Oh, that the conductor would venture on a " little cheek" just now, that we might have the exquisite bliss of kicking the burly scoundrel to the bottom of the nearest area. In the midst of our per- plexity, just as we have begun to think our good genius has deserted us, suddenly casting a downward glance, we catch a glimpse of the fair white rose— emblem of innocence and love— which, less thananhour ago, our own hand had pluckcd from its lowly stem; and as we continue to gaze— not with- out enjQ^ bn— on the simple beauty of that most fragrant yet spotless flower, " clothed in its virgin innocence," seem- ing to make its silent but irresistible appeal, we feel an in- ward compunction at our temporary irresolution, and resolve that our future conduct shall be typical of the spotlessness and purity of the pretty pleader next our heart. No! poor dear Mrs. P.! " the constant Paul" would not deceive ijou for worlds, especially when he thinks of your unvarying kind - ness, your unwearied efforts for his comfort, and all your in- dulgence of his little whims, even to the peculiar plaiting of the cambric of his shirt ; when Paul thinks of all these things, he would be a brute indeed, if he suffered tho most " bewitching vision of female beauty" to cast the faintest shadow on his heart, or dim— for one single instant— the bright sunshine of his love! ' Twas but a momentary weak- ness after all— a mere mental vertigo— a little fluttering of the flesh, not of the spirit; ' tis vanished now, like tbe mist of the morning, and Paul is " himself again." So we have the honour, Madam, of wishing you a particularly " Good Morning," and are sorry we cannot accompany you; but if you take the first turning to the left, and crossing the way, take the first to the right, you will have no difficulty in reaching the London Bridge wharf, and will be in excellent time for the starting of one of the Company's Gravescnd steamers, which leave London, we are informed, every hour. ( To be concluded in our next.) THE SELESTEAL SIESTA, AN OVIDIAN RHAPSODY. CHAPTER I. THE CONVIVES. LET the reader imagine the scene to be a handsomely fur- nished apartment, in the vicinity of Rotnpton; the time seven in the evening; lamps on the table, which throw a light upon glass and plate, on the latter of which the richest confectionery and the most glowing and luscious fruits of the season are piled. Wines of every hue and of the choicest vintages sparkle in cut glass decanters, and the aroma of cigars fill the room. The guests are six in number, the majority young, and all warmed with wine. " And so, Charley, you say she is beautiful. Eh?" said a handsome young man, sipping his hock, and stretching forth his legs under the table. " Lovely as one of Mahomet's own houris," replied another; I happened to see her, for the first time, behind the sccnes, as the ballet began. She was practising before a large glass. The gauzy dress scarcely hid the firm contour of the thigh; the leg was splendid, the hips perfection, the bust matchless, and the face superb ! " " But d— n it, man," exclaimed another, " she must have been naked, or you could not have drawn so perfect a picture." " I wish she had been," observed the first speaker with a smile, and in a low voice. "' Fore gad!" cried a third; " but Bracy's virtue seems to be in danger. Shall we read him a homily on the rebellion of the flesh?" " I mean to say that our system of seduction is a very imperfect one," hiccupped out a fourth, who had the face of a Liston, and the thirst of the Goodwin Sands. He was a clever low comedian, high in favour with the public, and a first- rate boon companion, Swidger Fidger by name, and was now rapidly progressing towards being very drunk. " Hear! hear!" cried several. " Silence him," said a grave, handsome youth, named Basil Harvey, a voluptuary by study, and a debauchee by system, that is to say, his excesses never brutalized his mind nor debilitated his frame; he was a Sybarite in taste, but not Corinthian in his amours. " He will bore us to death, let Bracy tell us of this bird of paradise," and his eyes glistened. " Gentlemen" said Fidger, rising, and glancing with comi- cal solemnity around the table, " Gentlemen, I am ou my feet." " Spoke, spoke," ejaculated another, a genteel comedian, one oi ( he most talented aod versatile of his class. He was No. 46.— NEW SERIES.] WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 19, 1849. [ PRICE ONE PENNY. " IT IS 2 PAUL PRY ; THE REFORMER OF THE AGE tho host, and his name was Bedstet. " Be quiet, Swidgy, and absorb your wine. Gentlemen," added lie, rising, " ex- cuse my absence for a few moments," and he lett tho room, while Swidger, having lost the thread of his discourse, fell into an abstraction. Suddenly was heard from an adjoining chamber a strain of romantic harmony which seemed to fill the hearers with ecstatic raptures; at the same time a ticking sound'could be distinguished, which, commingling with tbe almost heavenly music, added greatly to the enchanting melody. All listened enraptured and surprised. Now the ticking was heard only at short intervals, while, the harmony swelled into soft and languid strains; then, again, the mysterious ticking increased in velocity, and the music fell into weird and unearthly sounds, and anon the ears of the listeners were delighted with the soul- enrapturing melody, and then— all was silent. " The devil 1" said one, with a laugli; " I have heard of this before." " What is it?" demanded Bracy. " Nay, you must ask Bedster when he comes," was the reply. Swidger rose to his feet. He opened his mouth to drink, and spoke:—" I mean to say, with Anacreon, that drinking is a law of nature; and—" " That, in the catalogue, woman must naturally follow," added a fifth, who was called Allanby. The comedian turned to him, and nodded his head. " I was observing that, as men of the world, who love pleasure, with its delicious con— con— comitants—" As he hiccupped tbe last word, which " stuck in his throat," he drained his goblet, and refilled it with ruddy port. " Our system of seduction, I say— is— deficient," laying a tipsy emphasis on the first syllable. " Well," demanded a sixth, " what the devil are we to do, Swidger? You, who are so old in sin, enlighten us." " Ah!, that's the point," was the reply. " I'll tell you what, my fast friend, Boger Bacon— though how you, with your brains growing outside your head, came to be so un- lucky—( hie)— as to be possessed of the name without the fame, or— ha! lia!— the flavour, is— ha! ha!— a puzzle." Swidger laughed hysterically. " To return," he added, with a tremendous scowl. " You go to a girl, beautiful, or bo—( hie)— bold, with your purse in your hand, and say, ' I love you, lovely, charming, adorable one, here is gold!' Bah! It is bad, it is low, it is disgusting," and the orator thumped the table. " Now, I'll tell you my pi—( hie)— plan." 11 May tbe devil take you and your plans," said Harvey, angrily, " will you sit down and take your wine!" " Wine unloosens the tongue," began Swidger. " Silence! silence!" " It enlivens the imagination," persisted Swidger, stoutly. " This is positively dreadful," muttered Harvey. " It makes us dream of beautiful women, curtained chambers, nuptial couches, and I do not know what other delightful things besides. Ah!" and giving way to a sigh, Swidger sank into his chair, and began to drink with renewed relish. • ^ " Now Bracy, tell us about this beauty," blfan Basil eagerly, turning to him. " Well," began Bracy, " I was saying to you that she was practising before a large mirror, and a more splendid piece of voluptuousness, that with dewy and downcast eyes, seemed to woo you to her arms, I never saw." " What is her name?" asked Basil. " Faith, I forget; but if you like,' we'll go to the theatre this evening and see her," at this instant Bedster re- entered the room. ( To be continued in our next.) THE FRAIL SISTERHOOD. PIVOINE. CHAPTER XX. ( Concluded.) Arsene Bachu trembled with joy on learning the events of the morning. Pivoine, when she returned from the Debtors' Prison, found him at her house. He affectionately condoled with her, and offered her his services— the services of a ' friend— devoted and disinterested. The young girl accepted. From this moment Arsene Bachu was the attendant cava- lier, or cesebeo, of Pivoine ; he accompanied her like her shadow, and kept at a distance the troop of gallants who fluttered around her, in order to profit by her quasi widowhood. Almost every day he conducted her to Clichy; entered with her to pay Virgil a short visit; and awaited the young girl, on her leaving, to accompany her to the hotel. Faith- ful also to his tactics, he avoided speaking of love, for which Pivoine felt infinitely obliged to him; for, although she esteemed him as a friend, she could not think of him as a lover without a laugh; and besides, the idea of deceiving Virgil, unfortunate and a prisoner, revolted the delicate and generous sentiments lie still rotained in her heart. The hour of triumph was approaching, however, for Arsene. CHAP. XXI. A3IOUROUS MANFFIUVEKO, VIRGIL had been at Clichy three weeks. One day, Pivoine, having some errands to' do on the other side of the water, quitted very early the Bue dc la Harpe, and left without waiting forjArsene, who generally accompanied her. It was mid- day when she arrived at the door of the Debtors' Prison. , Tho keeper, stationed at the second wicket, and charged ; to receive from the visitors the permits from the prefecture of police, stopped her, saying:— " He is not here." " Who?" she demanded, supposing some error. " The one you are come to sec." " Monsieur Virgil?" " Precisely." " ' Tis impossible!" " I know not if ' tis impossible, but I know ' tis true. How- ever, pass to the office." Pivoine hastened to follow his advice, and the news she had just heard was confirmed the moment afterwards by the grcfiier himself. At nine o'clock in the morning an individual had presented himself to pay the sums due from the student — the withdrawal of bolts and tho setting at liberty had na- turally been immediate. The young girl asked for some explanation, but the warder knew nothing more, or, what amounted to the same thing, would not say more. Pivoine, therefore, whom this mystery puzzled beyond expression, was compelled to leave the Debtors' Prison, and retrace her way to the Rue de la Harpe, where, no doubt, the solution of this enigma would be revealed to her. Antoine was leaning idly against the door of the hotel. On seeing Pivoine, he carried bis hand to bis cap in an I embarrassed manner, " My key?" demanded the young girl of him. Antoine did not reply, but still remained in the same position. " Did you not hear me?" " Certainly, Mam'zelle." « Well?" " I will tell you; it is that your key"— " Go on." " It is not there." " Is Virgil above, then?" exclaimed the young girl. " M'sieu Virgil!" repeated the domestic in so stupefied an air, that Pivoine comprehended that her lover had not ap- peared at tho hotel, and that Autoine was completely igno- rant of his liberation from Clichy. " However, give mc my key, which I have asked you for these five minutes," she said with some impatience. " I have not got it, Mam'zelle." " Where is it?" " With Madame, who has taken it, and who said that when you returned she would speak to you." " Very good, I will go to her." And Pivoine, naturally amazed, ascended to the mistress of the hotel. The latter, a tall woman, dry, harsh, and prim, received the young woman with an inclination of the head scarcely polite. But Pivoine was no longer the timid child we have seen her; so, finding that her hostess did not request her to be seated, she took a chair, established herself in it, and commenced the conversation by saying:— " You wished to speak to me, Madame ?" " Yes, Mademoiselle." " What service can I render you?" " None, Mademoiselle ; unless it is to pay me, and that at once, a sum of four hundred and thirty francs which is due to; me." " What do you say?" demanded Pivoine, making a bound in'her chair. " Here is the note," replied the mistress of the hotel, wbo presented an immense sheet of paper, covered with writing and figures. " Mademoiselle can see that it is correct." " But this is Virgil's account." " Precisely." " And consequently it does not regard me." " A thousand pardons, Mademoiselle." " What mean you, Madame?" " I will explain it you. This morning I received a visit from the father of M. Virgil. He was informed of the pretty conduct of his son; he knew him to be at Clichy, and he asked me what was the amount due to me, an amount which he thought exorbitant. I must say, I replied to him by showing him my books, and proving to him that, for three months past, I had not received a sou. ' So much the worse for you,' he replied to me. ' You must not give credit to this scapegrace, whom I shall release from prison, and who shall quit Paris in two hours with me. As to you, Madame, since you have committed the folly to allow my son to live in your house with a girl—' " " A girl!!" hastily interrupted Pivoine, purple with shame and rage. " I beg you will be more choice in your terms, Madame?" " I only repeat the very words of your lover's father, Ma- demoiselle— I do not choose them. He finished, by giving me his word of honour that he would not pay mo, either at present or ever; and telling me to arrange with you in the best way I could. Now, you are entered on my books as living with M. Virgil. Your effects are liable to me for rent and my advances; pay me, or I turn you out." " My God, Madame!" exclaimed the young girl; " is it really possible?— and do you positively mean to do as you say ?" - PAUL AT BRIDPORT. Having often heard of the celebrated town of Wareliam, Paul was determined to pay the Fair a visit, which came off on Saturday last; so arming himself, like the magician of old, with our magic wand, the umbrella, off we started, and the first sight at the station, of the clerk, Bobby Bacon, and Little Whiterow, at once convinced us we should see something amusing in the ancient town. Amongst the peculiarities of the inhabitants, we noticed these:— Little F— s's wide- awake dodges when taking for the cups. Y— y's not knowing what to do with liis hands when talking to you. Old L— es shrugging up his unmentionables. Old P— y's slouching walk. Johnnie B— making use of scores of words he does not understand. B— g's lord- would- be style of conversation. J—' s lodicrous strutt. Jim B— y's " illigant" manner of cleaning the windows. C— h's all- man sort of talk, Bill S— r and his companion the baby donkoy. B— t's window- blind apron. Ned D— n's attempt at Latin and French phrases. Tom T— d's feminine laugh. Old S— t's winning ways. Sam F— d wearing his hat back on his poll. T— r's dissipated habits. C— s G—' s fast ideas. M— n's stand- no- nonsense conduct to tbe Irish. Old G— n's tremendous boiler. Mrs. L— d's little dog. Jim S— r's dreadful language. Harry B— t's squinney- looking tile. Jim H— t's muscular form and eccentric habits. Billy M— h's broad- brim hat. John S— d's extraordinary affection for a certain widow. G— b's gaiters. Tom D— e's fox- eye. Old H— l's regard for the widows. Putty R— l's big hat. Tom A— h's independence. Jim T— r's knowing cap. John E— e's foolery. B— t's fright at the conjurer. C. S— y's visit to tbe peep show; & e. On our arrival at the Sawpit, we were surprised at the course of amusement chosen by Jim H— t, which we think was childish; throwing half- penny crackers in tho old wo- men's baskets, and firing for nuts, is schoolboys' work, Jim, and not becoming a young gentleman with " India- rubber pumps;" Bill F— ce and Bill F— ge were also regularly sold with the tape trick! Amongst the display of vocal talent at different places in the evening we had the pleasure of hearing John D— s's " Gosport Beach;" O— d's " Take me to Your Arms;" W— l's " Own Minnie Dear;" T— r's " Old Commodore;" G— b's" Susianna;" Y— y's " Pope;" An- An- An's " Robin;" Farmer W— t's " England;" Charley G— s' " Lord Lovel," and a recitation from Jim M— n and Billy B— t, all of which went off with the greatest eclat. Many of the above follies must be abandoned ere we again visit the town, or " Paul" will be compelled, for the good order, improvement, and refinement of society, to give them another polish off, as be hopes by perseverance to get tbem somewhat civilized, LAUGHABLE THINGS IN POOLE. Billy C— s, tho bricklayer's white hat. Ralfs, the £ barber's handsome whiskers. Hussey, the linen drapers graceful mode of smoking a cigar. II— s, the grocers fiery nose. D— s the linen draper's increasing pauncli. JackT—' s behaviour, since the poke we gave him. Elijah H— s disposition towards the gentlemen that put him in Paul Pry, viz., that of smashing his head in two. Fat Couples,— instance L— e, and wife. John B—' s tact in getting Miss S— e, his lazy walk, and playing on his fine- toned bass viol, to please his wife. Philip B—' s proboscis an inch., or two off, would be more convenient, for then he could not get it pulled again. The die- a- way looks of P— k, the grocer. What is the matter, old boy? P—' s bow leggs. Have you ever been a tailor, old boy? IN NEWCASTLE. " The girls in the Lace- mart, Mosley- street, making wry faces at the swells as they pass. Skinny Tom C— n, of Pilgrim- street, bragging so much about beiug in company with young ladies ? What an idea— C—' s clerks winking at tho nobby little cook in tho Arcade. IN SHIELDS. J. S— d, paying threepence for getting his head well rubbed with bear's grease, and hair cut. R. A— n, wearing the one coat and bat, Sundays and every days. G. W— d, the stiff- legged cobbler, trying to run. R. M— r, shunning the company of all connected with the darkey tribe. IN BRIDPORT. Dandy Dick says he has the blood of Napoleon running in bis veins. G. M. E—, sweareth, by the memory of his ancestors if ho ' could find the editor of P. P., lie would do him as brown as an half- scorched potato. Brother Charley swears if he could catch the correspon- dent, he would cabbagc his very existence. Tailor N— r, of East- street, threatening to eclipse his brethren of the bodkin, when he opens his new shop. IN WAREIIAM. The little barber, F— e, moving his lather box. The butter factor, in South- street, trying for the Mayoralty. H. B—, the carpenter's lad, being actually in love with Miss M— e. Old Mother W— m, the doctor's wife, going about dis- tributing tracts, with the gin bottle in her pocket. Billy B— t, giving a girl twopence to show her banjo. The Man of Brass being more in love with the pale- face girl's money than her beauty. The idea' of Jim II— t, alias Little Blue Pill, of Wareham, comparing himself to Lord Byron; certainly of late he has rushed out in the Byron style; he will shine in the poetical world as a dull star, we believe his first edition is to be woman's love. Old H— II, closing Mrs. B—' s window shutters. W— m S— r, taking a walk with his baby Donkey. PAUL AMONGST THE PUBLICANS. " BUNGS, HAVE AT YE ALL!" THE GLOUCESTER ARMS TAVERN, GLOUCESTER ROAD, KENSINGTON. TIIE Gloucester Arms is pleasantly situated in the Glouces- ter- road, at the corner of Gloucester- terrace and Victoria Grove, commanding a delightful view over the Surrey hills, & c. It is a house of tolerable dimensions, and from its situ- ation might become, in the hands of an enterprising indivi- dual, a place of great business. The present landlady, Miss S— n, does not, however, go the right way to work to gain patrons: she is far too affected, and too much of the i grand lady, to draw custom to the house. We have heard it hinted that Mr. W— s, of the Drayton Arms, Old Bromp- ton, may one fine day take the proprietress for his better ( and most certainly, larger) half. We cannot vouch for the rumour; but should such be the case, he might probably in- crease the trade. The parlour is a good- sized room, but very poorly attended; in fact, there are scarcely any regular customers to be met with, and the few who do go are any- thing but agreeable. In the winter season, soldiers' and other balls are held here, in the large room up- stairs, the which ( especially the military) are a great nuisance to the neighbourhood. Miss S— t, the barmaid, is a very obliging little person, and the other attendants are civil. A yonng man named A— s, who occasionally serves behind tbe bar, is deserving of our earnest reprobation. He is always silly, and often rude. Respectable females ought not to be an- noyed by your practical jokes. Be more careful in future, or we shall not let you escape your just share of censure. Mr. A—' s behaviour is the reverse of the conduct of Mr. B— n, a gent who sometimes assists at tbe bar, and who is extremely polite and accommodating. The malt liquors vended at this establishment are generally very good, and the wines and spirits far superior to those on sale at most taverns. On the whole, could a pleasant parlour company be got together, we could at few publicans' have a better or more comfortable glass of grog than at the Gloucester Arms, Kensington. HISTORICAL QUESTIONS FOR BEGINNERS. What became of the pen with which King John signed Magna Charta? He wore it in his hat; from which circumstance we derive the saying, that— So- and- so showed tho white feather. How long was the Long Parliament, and why was it so called? As long again as half; and it was so called from the lengths it went to. Whom did Charles the First succeed? He failed! and therefore succeeded nobody. Why was William snrnamed Rufus? Some say from his red hair; but we think it must liavo been on account of the roof of Westminster Hall, which he is said to have been the builder of. Has the waste inclosure bill anything to do with the making of stays? Very likely. When was tanning brought to perfection in England? At the battle of Hexham. Was Wat Tyler any relation to Mr. Tyler, the son of tho American President ? As Wat Tyler got a severe crack about the head, the re- lationship is " highly probable. Was the soldier of the tenth legion who jumped into tlic sea at the invasion of Britain, one of the celebrated Spanish legion who fought under Evans, and was the Standard he had in his hand tho newspaper of that name? Not knowing, can't say, PAUL PRY; THE REFORMER OF THE AGE, 3 PAUL ADVISES Mr. R— s. tallow chandler, of Chandos- street, to be less fondof the County Court: a litigious man is a most unpopular cli aractcr. Mr. S-^ t, of Chancery- lane, bookseller, to adopt the same advice: notwithstanding your name is sweet, your conduct is sour. Messrs. D— n and O— y, of tho Old Jewry, attornies, to study well their " duty to their neighbour," especially that part of it, " do unto others as you would they should do unto you:" it may be very pleasant to you to issue writs and run up heavy bills of costs, but may not the poor defendants be ruined by your avarice? Long H— y L— t, who makes so much of himself at the Bell Inn, Newton- street, Holborn, to stay at home and put a coat on his hack and shoes on his feet, as the land- lord has long since found him out, Mrs. C— e, to leave Mr. B., of Grosvenor- row, Pimlico, alone, as he is a married man. D. B— d, G— y, and J. S— t, of the Surrey Zoological Gardens, to mind their business when engaged in the or- chestra, and not be winking at all the pretty girls, or perhaps they may get placed under the nearest pump. J. S— y, the flash snob of Gee's- court, Oxford- street, not to be so conceited as to think every young woman in the parish is in love with him. How about the young woman you asked out of the room on the night of the wedding, while her friend was absent. You was bit, eh, old boy ? Hoppy M— n, of Stoke Newington, not to kiss his hand and wave his white handkerchief to the Misses J— s, of the oil and Italian warehouse, High- street, Stoke Newington, as their brother has determined to watch for him some night, and give him a caning. S— h C— y, and S— h J— n, of Mutton- IIill, Clerkenwell, not to pay visits to publicans, as they will never get hus- bands, they drink too much gin. Thomas E— s, of the Polygon, Clapham, the next time he takes the farrier's daughter to Richmond, to stand a dinner like a man, and not go moucbing to the young lady's relations for a feed. The flash butcher, when at the Eagle Tavern, City- road, not to cut it so fat, and when he gets drank, not to insult every female in the coffee- room: he had better stick to the shop, and not drink wine, to make people believe he is a medical student and fast man. M— y J.— s, of Cable- street, opposite Shorter- street, to stick to the stoker, for he is a good fellow at the bottom, and there is no doubt he loves her. Mr. L— e, opposite Shadwell Church, not to run after Miss P— so much, but to attend to his afflicted mother. Mr. P. D—, the corn- chandler, of Hammersmith, not to be so fast in talking, and not to imagine that the little woman at J. S. P—' s would have anything to do with liim. J. S—, butcher, at Hammersmith, not to talk so much of his one- and- twenty years' lease." How about the Epsom job? Paul thinks you'll have half- a- crown to pay, if you don't leok out. P. W— f, the conceited shopman at Mr. C— s, Whitecliapel- road, net to think so much of himself, and not stand at the door and wink at the girls as they pass. How about the girl in Raven- street? You'd better have your chain gilt, as it's getting rather shabby. J. U— n, the red- haired chemist's assistant, opposite the London Hospital, Whitechapel- road, not to boast about having done a 2s. 6d. a- week job. S. H— n, of Grosvenor- street, Commercial- road, the would- be dressmaker, not to be out so late at night. Mr. B— y, at Mr. C— y's drapery establishment, Com- mercial- road East, near the George Inn, not to call after respectable persons as they pass down the road of an evening, but to keep his place behind the counter, Mrs. B— 1, of the Coach and Horses, Eyre- strect- hill, to keep her weather- eye open, for Paul intends dropping in very shortly. P. R. J— s, of Northumberland- place, Bayswater, to behave better to his affectionate wife; she is far too good for you. Reform, or we will castigate you severely. Mr. I)— y, of High- street, Kensington, to be more civil to his customers aud to sell PAUL PKT. Mr. W— e, of the same place, to overcome his sickly sen- timentality, and also sell PAUL Pur. Mr. S— s, jun., of Bread- street- hill, not to imagine he is good- looking, or that all the females in the neighbourhood are in love with him. Mr. E— s, of that clayey establishment, Bread - stroet- hill, to have a cheap bath, and change his stockings oftener. E. T—-, at the chemist's, in Westminster, not to be taking any more young ladies to the Surrey Gardens, as he was! seen doing on Tuesday, the 4th of September, or we shall tell his mother and that young lady at Cheltenham of him. Tom G— e, the lad of dough, College- street, Chelsea, to perform his promises to the various girls and take them to Cremorne, and not disappoint them after getting leave from their mistresses to go. W— n, the grocer, not to get so drunk, but stay at home and give honest weight to his customers. You seem quite used up. Pay the pieman the 2s. 6d. you owe. PROVINCIAL. MIDDLESEX.— Mr. . T. K— y, of Church- end, Hendon, not to be so fond of going to the Grey Horse, and make his brags that he can get plenty of men for 12s. per week, as he is only the foreman. Hoiv about putting water in the poor men's beer? A. F— r, gardener's labourer, Hamworth, not to look quite so high about the village, and fancy he knows everything. J- B— p, baker and would- be grocer, of Hamworth, to see that his wife attends to the household affairs, and not to make his poor old mother work so much. J. J— b, gardener's little- boy, Hamworth, to pay moro at- tention to that girl in London, and not have so much to say to the married women. Sandy T— e, of Hamworth, not to make such an ass of himself in trying to dance the Highland fling, for we are sure he knows as much about it as a donkey. Mrs. P—, the gardener's wife, of Hamworth, not to go gossiping with her neighbours, but to mind her own busi- ness, and never to write letters to try to part two respectable people. Miss D—- tt, of Hamworth, to mend the " taters " in her stockings, and not think every young man is in love with her, for there's time enough yet, my little Taglioni. Tom B— nn, the knackerman, when he sings Lucy Long and Black- Eyed Susan, not to sing so loud, as your wife might hear you, and then you're sure to get the bottle when you get home. You know what we mean, Tommy. W— n, alias " Fat- sides," to mind her own business, or else we must shew her up in her true colours. Reform, old Jelly- belly. Mrs. B— w not to kick so when she is showed up in Paul Pry, and not to ask the young men she meets if they are in Paul Pry. Reform, old girl, or else we will give you another poke. Little Jimmy J— b not to go into a certain Uouse quite so pitch near Park- place, The blacksmith, F. G— d, of Hamworth, to marry that young woman of London, and not play the fool with her. A faint heart never won a fair lady, Fennica. Take our advice in time, or else we must give you another stunning poke. J. F— s not to open liis mouth so wide when he laughs, or else he will blow all his front teeth out. H. T— 1, would- be carpenter, of Hamwortli, to see that everything is well managed, for Miss B— n will lie looking to something great. What about the ring, Harry ? Sandy T— e, of Hamworth, not to appear quite so much of a fool when on his way to the provision- shop with his bas- ket. How about the tea- party? J. W. S—, the little cockey groom, of Round- tree- cottage, Bury- street, Edmonton, not to be seen looking about with that other six- foot groom at the Stag and Hounds, J. W. How about the corner house? No. 1. EXETER— Harry H— r, jun., alias " one ofthe Hooper- ites," not to be so haughty, and to leave off his quizzing- glass, as he puts any one in mind of the ourang- outang. The slander- loving family of the B— m's, alias " Bantrum," not 20 yards from the lower market, Milk- street, to look out, as we have a poke in store for them. Alfred B— r, painter, not 50 miles from Bartholomew- church, to behave himself better. Paul has liis eye on you. That little hopty- hoy, Henry W— n, at the N. P. Bank, not to be so saucy, or we shall advise his father to put him across his knee, and let him undergo a well known castiga- tion for young children. B— e's sixpenny- hop, to look out, as we intend paying him a visit. KENT.— G. D—, the little cab- driver, of East Wickham, > not to allow that great woman of liis to ill- use that poor little child, but make her treat it more kindly if he can. Mr. Twopenny, the grocer, of East Wickham, not to he fond of fighting and quarelling of a Saturday night, and not to forget the poor old gardener. The blacksmith, J— 1, of East Wickham, not to bounce so much, but think of the mother of that poor child of his. J. C— r, of No. 3, not to think so much of drink, and more of those little ones of his. G. L— s, the conceited little snip of Dartford, not to be so vain, and fancy every girl is in love with him, and not think so much of the girl in Overy- street, as she does not think much of him. G. G— n, the painter's cad of Dartford, not to run about and tell the girls that he is single, because remember you have a wife, George, and such conduct is not proper. The three little short ladies of St. Ronan's, to be seen less with a certain young man with the green hat. That frizzy- headed contumelious Bob M— 11, of the Clarence, Greenwich, not to let his father's money stick to his fingers. How about the oyster and pastry score ? SURREY.— Mrs. M— e, the retired snip's wife, of Rich- mond villa, not to give her servants bad characters when they leave her, unless they deserve it. SHEFFIELD.— Mr. L— d, of D— n- street, not to render Mr. Two- for- tlireehalfpence any more assistance in his dis- honourable proceedings, if he does, Paul will expose him and no mistake. Mr. A— n, of the Chester Castle, not to allow the D— n perfumer, to have any more of his strong beer, it makes him see double. The guardians of the hoys, girls— and crazy grown- up peo- ple, not to allow the latter to remain in the Bridge house- chapel after the regular service, to the great annoyance of the peaceable neighbourhood, or the place will be indicted as a nuisance. Friend Tommy W— n, Bridge houses, to marry one of the woman he has been running after so long, and prove himself to be a man, and ask J. P— and little B—• to the , wedding. LIVERPOOL.— W. E— e, late of West- sqiiare, Lambeth, but now of Liverpool, to be grateful to those friends who a few months back, by their kindness, saved you and your family from starvation. Your conduct to one has been any- thing but proper. BRIGHTON.— Mr. R— s, riding- master, to drink less, and when at the Egremont bagatelle- board, to abstain from swearing. Your conceit is inordinate. LEEDS.— Fatty W—, the heavy- swell, of Camp- road, not to run after so many of the pretty servant- girls who abound in that locality. Such exertion will some day be fatal to this blabberish specimen of humanity, 16 stone 4 is no joke, as some of the fair creatures must have found out ere this. Old Neddy, the active dispenser of justice, not to attempt again the impossibility of keeping speed with the Earl of Harewood's hounds, especially after he has taken an ounce of Epsom salts, at 5 o'clock in the morning. A certain member of the elect, and renovator of under- standing, not 100 miles from Belgrade street, not to stand at his dressing- room window in the morning, scratching— not his head— and inflicting punishment on a certain mischievous insect. ESSEX.— Mr. N. P— d, the little interfering grocer, of Epping, to attend to his business, and not run away from pork- salting to tell Mr. T. S. W— n any tales about his men. Sorry he has not got better sense. Young Mr. and Mrs. G — s, of the post- office, Epping, to attend more to their business, and not stand playing at the door with each other for the inhabitants to notice it. DORSETSHIRE.— W. B— n, the four- eyed painter of Bridport, not to be so fickle- minded, as you might travel the orchard, and get a grab at last, old fellow. M. B—, the little dwarf, in East- street, Bridport, not to swing her tail so much, as Paul thinks Bakehouse- barten must be made wider. Mr. C—, lodging in Prospect- place, to reform, as we are afraid he is getting worse instead of better ; we saw him so intoxicated the other evening that he was desiring a lamp- post to get out of his way and let him pass. C. M—, of Bridport, to consent to become Liz II— l's, or else she says she certainly will die. C. G— e, of Wareham, to sell that fustian suit and pay the tailor. Paul cannot forget such nasty ways. Aunt L— s, of Wareham, not to walk about so much with the man of brass; two is company, but three is none. T. R— n, of Wareham, to shut his shop at eight o'clock; he ought to feel for his dear wife standing so many hours; poor thing, she must be tired. Jack Rawbones, of Poole, not to splutter so much about tarring or killing the fellow that put him in PAUL PRY. Bull- beef W—, the coal- merchant, not 100 yards from Baiter- corner, not to get so beastly drunk when he goes to Canford, and give the man Is. 6d. to drive him home safe. Mother Oak- alley, not 50 yards from the gate, not to carry her head so high, as Paul can remember the time when she had not the second shift to change. SOUTH SHIELDS.— G. G., alias the Ape of Camden- lane, not to think about running any more. How about the girl down Grey Horse- lane Bullring, my insinuating hero? ^ M. F— k, of the Railroad Inn, Long- row, to pay his debts before he dresses his daughter like a peacock. Remember she's only a girl of sixteen, with one eye, G. C— 1, of Green- street, to keep better hours, aud not go so often to Sunderland. M. B., of Black Bull bank, not to imagine he looks well when laying the bread for his mammy, and when next lie sweeps the floor, to do it a little cleaner than usual, and not to think lie's quite the swell, when out with A. M. R. II— n, alias Squint, to pay liis snob's and tailor's bills before he becomes conceited. J. H— n, alias little Jack, of West Ilobbeu, not to be so inveterate against a certain young gent of West End. G. L— e, alias Cockey Tommy, not to go so often to the girl that keeps the rag shop on the Pan bank, as she does not give the best price for old ropes and rags. W. L— n, boat- builder, to learn his letters ere his whiskers grow, and not to think of appearing before the public in the darkey line before he's learnt his ABC. That saucy- jawed Newcastle lad of H— y's, not to brag so much of his wit and high schooling, and to remember your Glengary cap is not large enough to hold your basin head. B. P. not to go after the girls so much. W. H., alias ' Hush, hush, bring me the brush,' not to be seen talking to certain servant girls in the Market- place. Bill M— m, not to go cadging about, sighing like a steam- engine. Tim B— k, and Britton P— k, not to curl their hair so much, and use hair- oil instead of hogs' lard. NORTH SHIELDS.— Miss E— a G— y, of Tyne- street, not to wander the streets, with C. A— n, so late at night, or she will hear more about it. Miss H— h H— n, of Tyne- street, not to brag so, and while doing so, not to throw the hatchet. NEWCASTL E- 0 N- T Y N B.— G. H— r, the cheese- monger, in the Aide, not'to be so conceited, but take care lest his fall be like the Iron King, with the same initials. Bonnet- makers, B— e, of West Clayton- street, to be more civil to their customers, and not to send girls to attempt to learn bonnet- making for a year, and then take them away at the end of three months, for it is well known he cannot make bonnets so well as a party in the Pudding- chare. J. T— k, of Saint John's- lane, the seedy joiner fellow, not to think all the ladies that look at him are in love with him, and not to poke his long nose into his fellow lodgers' busi- ness. Leave the great pack at home, you always carry about with you, old fellew. R. B— s, of Grey- street, lawyer's clerk, not to attend so many temperance meetings, as Paul saw you coming out of the Shakespeare the other night, Bob. The Misses F— k, the butcher's daughters in Renni- son's- court, Newgate- street, not to flirt about with the officers at Tynemouth. That six feet of ignorance, W. S— h, of West Clayton- street nottorun somuchafterthe nymphs of the pave, as Paul thinks i£ very unbecoming in one who attends chapel so regularly ; reform Bill, or Paul will tell your father. E. E— t, of the Arcade, lawyer's clerk, not to run so much after the little girl in Gallowgate, or he may have tw* shillings and sixpence a week to pay. J. S— n, of Grey- street, not to get beastly drunk, but to go home at a respectable time at night. Miss M. R— y, the stylish straw- bonnet maker at Mrs. H—' s, Pilgrim- street, not to imagine that every young man she meets is in love with her. W. B— e, the snuffy cobbler, Collingwood- street, to attend a little better to his business, and not let his neighbours see him trotting along to Edgars, every five minutes for a gill? J. L— e, the nobby brass- finisher, Manor Chare, not to cut it so fat with the greasy cook in the red shawl. How about the old brass, and the large stone building, in the Manors, Jack? A— y T— 1, the would be engiuecr, alias the " Morpeth Pet," not to run about the shop telling the boys he'll put them in Paul Pry. How do you like this, old boy ? Joe T— ud, the little bow- legged attorney's boy in the Arcade, not to show off with so much tin at the Green Doors, and not to drive about Shields in a gig on a Sunday muzzy, or Paul will be obliged to tell his mother and ask where he gets the brads. PAUL WISHES TO KNOW What lawyer's office it was that spoony G. M— r, of Brid- port, was ever head clerk in. How long it will be before the young painter, of West- street, Bridport, and the innkeeper's- daughter, East- street, Bridport, is married. Mind and not lose your man this time, Polly. LETTER- BAG. ( To Paul Pry, Esq.) Woolwich, 13th Sept., 1849. MY DEAR PAOL,— Your having given publicity to my last advice, induces me again to address you, anticipating that, as the columns of the Paul Pry are ever open to animadvert on immorality, whether individually or collectively— the re- quest to publish a few lines, repudiating the low pot- houses too common in this town, will meet with your acquiescence; and that yon will assist me in shewing the subordinate portion of military society here, that rather should they evade these pestiferous haunts of immorality, than, by their presence, sanction and countenance, as they do, such recep- tacles for vice. For the present I shall confine myself to a Bacchanalian ken, well known under the technical appellation ofthe Prince of Wales, notorious as being the resort of everything vile and obnoxious. There may ever be found a host of these anomalies in society, whose very proximity, as one inhales the fumes emitted from their mouths, seems to infuse a poisonous effluvia into one's veins. On Monday night last ( having previously heard this crib spoken against in no very measured terms), I paid bis Royal Highness a first and, I promise, last visit; and, indeed, any attempt on my part to delineate, in graphic terms, this haunt of vice, would fall far short of its demerits. Nothing, disgusting to human nature, could exceed their oaths, impre- cations, and obscene expressions, commingled with the voci- ferous laughter of the military, which, on my entering into the tap- room, met my ear. In one corner, a virago had just bared her brawny arms, and, on my entrance, was in the act of challenging a juvenile soldier— who, pursuant to General Orders, should be attending the Regimental School at the time— to single combat; while another, of a similar descrip- tion, might be seen coaxing a " Johnny Raw" out of his last threepence to procure another glass of gin, in order to allay, in some degree, her insatiable thirst. In another corner stood two Amazonians at bay, separated hy a table, and using the most filthy expressions; while the soldiers kept crying out:—" Go it, Sal, and I'll hold your bonnet"— " Walk into her, Bef, and I'll pick you up"—" Clear the way, till we have a turn- to;" and many similar expressions. I did not remain to see more, for a cursory glance sufficed to shew me that the P. of W. was a receptacle of everything infamous. Quitting the house in disgust, I began to ratio- cinate on the matter, and Anally arrived at the conclusion tliat measures ought to be adopted in order to remove tliOBQ 2 PAUL PRY ; THE REFORMER OF THE AGE abuses; and, further, determined that Paul Pry should hear of my visit, and be the medium of expose. Will you, then, my dear Paul, lend me your assistance— and by intimating to the military authorities here, that her Majesty's Regulations empower them to debar the soldier from frequenting houses of ill- faine, endeavour to remove tbis source of crime from the army? Many Singing- Rooms, and other sources of amusement, are) to be found in Woolwich, which, were they fre- quented by the soldier, could not fail in affording him amuse- ment of an innocent nature; biit so long as men are permitted to frequent houses where the best morals could not withstand the demoralizing influence there predomi- nating, so long will such men's morals run parallel with everything egregiously bad. Yours ever, BLUE CUFF. ( To Paul Pry, Esq.) Glasgow, VI th Sept., 1849. DEAR PAUL,— I am glad to see you inserted my last letter, and I hope it may help to put a " stopper" on the proceedings of these " bilking coves." I will now give you a word or two upon our Glasgow Saloons, and which form a considerable part of our Glasgow entertainments. I will begin with the Shakespeare, in the Saltmarket, which is considered the principal and best. It is a large, long room, with a passage down the middle, and seats on each side, like a church. There is also a gallery above the saloon itself; and a capital orchestra, composed of a piano- forte, and cornopean, and violoncello violin. I must not forget to notice the young lady who plays the piano, who is a very good- looking, modest person, called Miss Adams. Mr. Loudon, the proprietor, is a very gentle- manly and good- looking young man, and, I believe, is getting on remarkably well; he is very civil and obliging, and is ge- nerally to be seen in the saloon smoking ( I really think he lives on smoke, as the pipe is never out of his mouth). The singers are, Mr. Plumpton, who sings Russell's songs to perfection; M'Gown, who does the Irish comic business, and does it well too; and Mr. Barlow, who plays upon the " ole banjo," fiddle, bones, and what not; he is a very clever musician indeed. There was also a Madame Roby there, a dancer, but she left on Saturday, and her place is supplied by a Mrs. Predericks, who sentimentalizes; but, I think, she won't do so well as Madame Roby, who was a great favourite. In my next, I will give you some idea of the Shades, a place under the Saloons, where the " fast coves" play at ten- pins, and stand goes of beer to the singers. Yours truly, HURKO THERE. ( To Paul Pry, Esq.) Glasgow, 13th Sept., 1849. MY DEAR UNCLE,— Your friends in Glasgow are mustering strong at present, and firing away their effusions, no matter whether weak or strong. I see " P. and W." has resumed hts contributions. He must have had a lazy fit, for I have hardly seen him for some months. " Maggie S." gives you a second edition of the Momentous Question. I think an open front, with sewed muslin, is a great im- provement to a lady's dress, and gives an admirable set- off to a frock of dark French merino. But I should like to have competent opinion, and do, therefore, beg, pray, and petition my dearly beloved aunt, Mrs. Pry, to favour me and your readers in general, with a short epistle, embodying her views on the subject. And now, dear uncle, I remain, Your affectionate and expectant nephew, ADAM PRY THE YOUNGER. ( To Paul Pry, Esq.) Glasgow, 13th Sept., 1849. MY DEAR PAUL,— I am much rejoiced to see the change in your outward apparel. I was once or twice very much ashamed, when the bookseller handed me the new number, lying open; and even our cook, whom I sometimes sent for it, looked at it first in the window, to see if it had a " blue pictur," as she called it. " Maggie S." had, I think, no great delicacy in asking you the question about dresses; but, as the subject is broached, I may as well give my opinion. The fashion of wearing open- breasted dresses is most abominable, and ought to be discontinued by every right- thinking person. " Maggie S.' s" letter makes me blush for my sex. I have, however, the consolation to think that it is very likely written hy some great blustering gent, who wants to have a laugh at the ladies. If there is no harm in writing io you, I will amuse myself sometimes by so doing. I remain, dear Sir, for the present, Your Correspondent, MARIE BIBON. ( To Paul Pry, Esq.) Exeter, Sept. 12, 1849. DEAR PAUL,— Your remarks on the cholera are excellent, and recalled to my mind a plan, or rather scheme, of a zealous and active citizen " that was," but has since retired from business— viz., to'provide white- wash buckets, brushes, & c., to lend the poor, so that they may be enabled to keep their houses clean and wholesome. When could there be a better time for carrying out that scheme than the present, as that dreadful scourge, the cholera has, just visited this city? " but no," after raising a good sum of money by subscrip- tion, the project goes to the ground, nnd we hear no more of it. I am afraid one of the imps from the region of Mam- mon has seized liini; but that a poke from yor redoubtable umbrella will bring forth the " money," if not the man, is the • wish of Yours, obediently, R. P. ( To Paul Pry, Esq.) SOUTH SHIELDS, 7th Sept., 1849. DEAR SIR,— You having had a great many correspondents from Shields, last week, I shall not trespass upon your va- luable time in writing too long a letter this week. ( Yet I am convinced, like yourself, that the sooner the many striking characters are reformed, by the pen of the Reformer, the better it will be for the public peace and good.) Therefore, let tbis one suffice until next week. Perhaps you can remember, a short while ago, Madame' Wharton visited Newcastle, with her admirable selection of female beauty— if so, you can also re- collect that special trains conveyed the beauty admirers of Shields home. On one of those occasion, two of our Shields / heroes, T. Ii— li < wd if— » # were t » ent upon " making a glorious conquest," as they termed it, upon one of these speci- mens of female loveliness, belonging to the establishment of Madame Wharton, who] accompanied our conquest sceker3 to Shields. They introduced themselves and offered their ser- vices to escort her to Tynemouth, the place of her destina- tion. She, thinking they were gentlemen of honour, accepted their offer: after having arrived at home, as she thought, ( but we are born to meet with disasters in this lower world,) her friends were either wrapped soundly in the armes of Morpheus, or would not hear her repeated summons for adm ttance— which of the two, I will not be answerable for. Thus she was left to the mercy of winds and waves. The two worthies, after a long parley, persuaded her to accompany them home, where they assured her she might have a pri- vate room for herself— this private room being neither more nor less than their bed- chamber. Thus was theModernVenus compelled to sleep between two Adonises. Now the conquest is completed, and instead of sleeping the pleasure away, to oblivion, they circulated the grand conquest amongst their friends in the morning. Therefore, I would advise the many young ladies of Shields, who encourage their company, not to trust too much to their honour, I remain, yours truly, PHILOS. CORRESPONDENCE, %* The tale of MARONE will be continued next week. PAUL PRY will be sent free, direct from the Office, to any part of the United Kingdom, on the remittance of two postage stamps. %* Every letter, for the future, containing advice, must be ac- companied by three postage stamps.— All letters for insertion in the current number must reach our office five days prior to the publication of our journal, or they cannot be inserted. *** We are in want of a contributor for Paddington", Lisson Grove, and the general West end district, and should also be happy to receive advices from the districts of Shadwell, Poplar, Mile End, Kingsland, Lambeth, Walworth, Cam- berwell, Southwark, and Westminster. Parties wishing to become our regular contributors in the above localities, must favour us, in confidence, with their real names and addresses. NED SLOBOY ( South Shields').— We have no recollection of striking out any portion of your former letters. And if we did so you may be sure we did it for the best. Please write only on one side of the paper for the future. J. R. ( Leeds).— Most happy to hear from you again. J— s K— s.— We thank you for your interest in our behalf, and shall be happy to hear from you as often as con- venient. JACK ( Glasgow.)— We sent most of the numbers mentioned in your letter to our agent in your town, about a fortnight back. Apply again, and if he says he has not got them, send us the numbers you require and we will undertake to obtain them for you. No. 2 is out of print. MILES WIDE- AWAKE ( Chelsea.)— Anything you may send us will be tliaukfully received. C. Z. ( Bridport.)— If you send only one, we shall feel obliged, as we have several correspondents from your town. We thank you for the names of the parties who have endeavoured to injure the sale of our publication; and shall take an early opportunity of showing the cant- ing, metbodistical scoundrels up in their true colours. V Our Wareham correspondent would oblige us by writing only on one side of the paper for the future. Our space will not permit us to put in all sent. Miss SUSAN PRY ( Bridport).— My dear niece, your admi- rably- written letter shall appear in our next. * « * Our Poole friends would oblige us to bear in mind the advice given to our Wareham correspondent, and write only on one side of the paper. The continuation of the " Love Letters, & c." is post- poned until our next. HURRO THERE ( Glasgow.)— We beg to thank you for your letter. Your complaint of our late arrival in Glasgow, a fortnight back, lies entirely at our door. It will not occur again. Mrs. P. is very charming, thank you. C. W. G.— Most willingly, as often as convenient. R. K.— We thank you for your offer, and avail ourselves of it. Send some eight or ten, if possible, every week. R. C.— Oh! yes, hair- cutters or any one else guilty of ex- tortion. Sorry to hear of your continued illness. MARIE BIBON ( Glasgow.)— We are always proud to hear from the ladies. ADAM PRY TIIE YOUNGER ( Glasgow.)— You young dog, you promised your affectionate uncle a good show up for the cannie town of Glasgae," which you have either for- gotten, or wilfully neglected. So open your eyes and set about your task directly. Mrs. P.' s opinion of open dresses is anything but in favour of the fashion. She says:—" it's really disgusting to see some of them open almost all the way down." Have you no friendly advice to give your neighbours ? Our agent at Exeter is requested to correspond with us, if he is threatened regarding our Journal. We hold him perfectly harmless. TAKE CARE OF YOUR TEETH! If your Teeth ( trc discoloured from neglect, and there is an accu- mulation of Tarter upon them, it is offensive to the sight, imparts a foulness to the breath, and destroys the Teeth and Gums, producing Scurvy, & e., have it instantly removed, and your Teeth beautifully burnished, for Is. 6d., by MR. ALEXANDER, Dentist, 74, St. Martin's Lane. If your Teeth are Decayed, have them immediately Stopped witli'a pure and harmless substance, invented by Mr. Alexander, preventing Tooth Ache ami further decay, for Is. The Teeth will then be rendered sound ancl useful as ever, and the disease prevented from affecting the adjoining Teetll. Jf, however, from inattention to those rules, you have lost your Teeth, have, them immediately replaced by the successful and scientific methods used by Mr. Alexander, hy which the extraction of roots, or any painful operation is rendered unnecessary, for 2s. 6d. per Tooth, or you will entail upon yourself the numerous diseases which indigestion gives rise to, from insufficient mastication of the food, besides the great disfigurement ofthe face, which loss of Teeth occasions. in cases of Extraction ofthe Teeth, they are generally wrenched out with brute force, regardless of the various directions of the fangs of each, producing incalculable injury, great and unnecessary pain, and frequent loss of portions of the jaw. Have yonr's extracted by Mr. Alexander's newly- invented instruments, causing the least possible pain, for 6d. MR. ALEXANDER, DENTIST, 74, St. Martin's Lane, near Long Acre. ( From Mr. Gavin's, 23, Southampton Street, Strand.) PRIVATE, IMPORTANT, AND PRACTICAL HINTS, on all SECRET DISEASES, Generative Weakness, and Nervous Debility, & c., with I'lain Directions for Cure, price Sixpence, post- free Eightpence. By DR. F. WALTON, M. li. C. S., & c., who may be confidentially consulted ( without afec) from 8 a. m., to 10 p. m., daily, at his residence, No. 55, Gt. Queen Street, Lincoln's- Inn- Fields. Established Twenty Years. Gonorrhcea ancl ordinary cases of Syphilis perfectly eradicated within a week. Per- sons labouring under Seminal Weakness, or Nervous Debility, re- stored to vigorous health in one month. Country patients fully des- cribing their complaints, age and sex, can have a Case of Medicine forwarded with the greatest seeresy, sufficient to effect a complete cure. N. B.— Medicine with advice forwarded, sub rosa, immediately p » the receipt of one poujjd, All letters promptly answered, EXTRAORDINARY SUCCESS OF THE NEW REMEDY WHICH IN NO INSTANCE HAS EVER 1SEEN KNOWN TO FAIL!.'! flR. WALTER DE ROOS, 1, Ely- place, Holborn- hill, London 1J earnestly invites every one suffering from those dangerous and hitherto considered incurable diseases, arising from Solitary and Se- dentary Habits, Indiscriminate Excesses, Infection, such as Gonorr- hoea, Gleet, Stricture, and Syphilis, or Venereal Disease, in all their varieties and stages— which, owing to improper treatment. by ignorant and experimentalising quacks, almost always end in Gravel, 1' ains in the Kidneys, Back and Loins, and finally death— to avail them- selves of his important discoveries, which, during an immense practice, he has found of the utmost certainty, and to surpass all other modes of treatment yet known. The vast amount of practice Dr. DE ltoos has had at the principal hospitals in London and on the continent, enables him to treat, with the utmost certainty of cure, this calamitous class of diseases, which have, up to the present time, been quite beyond the reach of medical men ; for though they have succeeded by the old system in arresting or allaying the first symptoms, it is an universal iact that these have been invariably followed by diseases of a far more dangerous and painful character, called Secondary Symptoms, which, in plain language, is synony- mous with a Lingering Death ! But, thanks to science, he is now, after many years of study and practice, aided by the modern im- provements in Chemistry, in possession of the only remedy by which he guarantees a perfect and lasting enre, and also eradicates every symptom of disease, whether primary or secondary. This truth has already been manifested in many thousands of instances; and, as a further guarantee, he undertakes to cure the most inveterate case in A TEW DAYS, without suspension from business, or return the money. All those deemed INCURABLE, are particularly invited. Country patients will be minute in the detail of their cases, as that will render a personal visit unnecessary.— Advice, with medecine, £ 1. Patients corresponded with till cured. Females may, with the utmost safety, confide themselves to the care of Dr. DE Roos, as the most inviolable secrecy and delicacy arc observed, and as no two patients are ever admitted at the same time, to the same room, or allowed to depart together, the posssibility of contact, or exposure, is entirely prevented. — At home daily, from 10 till 1, and 4 till 8 ; Sundays, 10 till 1.— Post Office Orders payable at the Holborn Office, to Walter de Roos, M. D., 1, ELY- PLACE, HOLBORN- HILL, LONDON. Read Dr. de Roos' Celebrated Work. Just published, 64th Thousand, 144 pages, Illustrated with numerous Coloured Engravings, in a sealed envelope, from the Author, and all respectable Booksellers, in English French, or German, 2s.; or free by post for 32 postage stamps. THE MEDICAL ADVISER. An Essay on the Obligations ol Marriage; the Treatment and Cure of all those Secret Disorders arising from early Excesses and Infections, with plain directions for the removal of every disqualification, with ease, seeresy, and safety. " This work is indeed a boon to the public, as it has the two- fold advantage of plainness and being written by a duly qualified man- who evidently understands his subject."— Daily Times. ONE TRIAL ONLY is solicited, as that will prove the value of the Compound RENAL PILLS for speedily curing Gonorrhoea, Gleet, Stricture, Gravel, Lumbago, Pains in the Back, Diseases of the Bladder, Kidneys, and Urinary Organs generally, whether resulting from imprudence or otherwise. These I'ills have never been known to fail, and can only be obtained of Dr. De Roos, 1, Ely- place, Holborn- hill, London, Price 2s. 9d. and 4s. 6d. per Box. N. B. Sufferers are cautioned, as they value life, to guard against youthful impostors, who, for obvious reasons, dishonestly copy this announcement. YOU MAY BE CURED YET. HOLLOWAY'S OINTMENT. CUBE OF RHEUMATISM AND RHEUMATIC GOUT.— Extract of a Letter from Mr. Thomas Brunton, Landlord ofthe Waterloo Tavern Coatham, Yorkshire, late ofthe Life Guards, dated September28th, 1848 To PROFESSOR HOLLOWAY.— SIR,— For a long time I was a Martyr to Rheumatism and Rheumatic Gout, and for ten weeks previous to using your medicines, I was so bad as not to be able to walk. 1 had tried doctoring and medicines of every kind, but all to no avail, indeed I daily got worse, and felt that I must shortly die. From see- ing your remedies advertised in the paper I take in, I thought I would give them a trial. I did so. I rubbed tho Ointment in as directed, and kept cabbage leaves to the part thickly spread with it, and took the Pills night and morning. In three weeks I was enabled to walk about for an hour or two in the day with a stick, and in seven weeks I could go any where without one. I am now, by the blessing of God and your medicines, quite well, and have been attending to my business for more than seven months, without any symptoms of the return of my old complaint. Besides my case of Rheumatic Gout, I have lately had proof that your Pills and Ointment will healany old woundor ulcer as amarried woman, living near me, had had a bad leg for four years, which no one could cure, and I gave her sore? of your Pills and Ointment, which soundly healed it when nothing else would do it. For your information I had the honor to serve my country for twenty- five years in the first regiment of Life Guards, and was " eighteen years tt Corporal. I was two years in the Peninsula War, and was at the Battle of Waterloo. I was discharged with a pension on the 2nd September, 1833. The Commanding Officcr at the time, was Colonel Lygon, who is[ now a General. I belonged to the troop of Captain the Honourable Henry Baring. ( Signed) THOMAS BRUNTON. COKE OF A BAD LEG OF TWENTY ONE YEARS' STANDING.— EX tract of a Letter from Mr. Andrew Brack, Blacksmith, Eyemouth near Berwick, dated the 10th of August, 1848. To 1' ROFESSOK HOLLOWAY.— SIB,— With pleasure and gratitude have to inform you that after suffering for twenty- one years with a bad leg. which yielded to no kind of treatment, although I consulted, at different times, every medical mail of eminence in this part of the Country, but all to liopuroose. I was frequently unable to work; and the pain and agony I often endured no one can tell. My leg is now as sound as ever it was in my life by means of your Pills and Ointment, which I purchased from Mr. I. Davidson, Druggist, Ber- wick- upon- Tweed, who knows my case well, and will, I am sure, bo happy to certify with me, if nccessary, as to the truth of this wonder- ful cure. ( Signed) ANDREW BRACK. AMPUTATION OF Two TOES PREVENTED.— Extract ofa Letter irom Mr. Oliver Smith Jenkins, dated Falkirk, August Kith, 1848. To PROFESSOR HOLLOWAY.— SIR,— I was superintending about six months ago, the erection of one of our Railway Bridges, and by the fall of a large stone my right foot was seriously braised, which ulti- mately got so bad, that I was advised to go to Edinburgh to consult some of the eminent Surgeons, which 1 did, and was told that in order to save myfoot, two of my toes must be taken oil'. In despair, I returned home to impart, the melancholy news to my wife, intending to submit to the operation, it was then a thought struck me to try your valuable Ointment and Fills, which I did, and was by their means in three weeks enabled to resume my usual occupation, and at this time my toes are perfectly cured. ( Signed) OLIVER SMITH JENKINS. AN EXTRAORDINARY CURE OF A DESPERATE SKIN DISEASE.— On the 21st. July, the Editor ofthe " Mofussilite" Newspaper published in India, inserted the following Editorial article in Ins paper. " We know for a fact, that llolloway's Pills and Ointment act in a most wonderful manner upon the constitution, as an eccentric Coolie, called Eliza, employed in our Establishment, was affected with myriads of Ringworms, which defied all the Meerut Doctors, and promised to devour the poor man before he was underground; we tried " Holloway" upon him, and in a month he was perfectly re- stored to his lbrmer condition and cleanliness of skin. The effect was miraculous." The Pills should be uscdconjointly with the Ointment in most of the following cases:— Bad Legs Cliiego- foot Fistulas Sore Nipples Bud Breasts Chilblains Gout Sore throats Bums Chapped hands GlandularSwcl- Skiu- diseases Bunions Corns ( Soft) lings Scurvy Bite of Mosche- Cancers Lumbago Sore- heacls toes and Sand- Contracted ancl Piles ' ' Tumours flies Stiff- joints Rheumatism Ulcers Coco- Bay Elephantiasis Scalds Wounds— Yaws Sold by the Proprietor, 244, Strand, ( near Temple Bar,) London and by all respectable Vendors of Patent Medicines throughout the civilized World, in Pots and Boxes, Is. i£ d., 2s. 9d., 4s. tid., Its., 22*., and 33s. each. There is a very considerable saving by taking the larger sizes. N. B.— Directions for the- guidance of Patients are affixed to each Pot and Box. The following are our appointed Agents.-— London: W. COLE, Bedford- street, Oxford- street, Mile End.— Doptford: F. L. LYONS, 8, Broadway.— Greenwich: II. llir, r„ ft, Market- place.— Bristol: COOK, Sims- place.— Manchester: HIE, WOOD, Oldham- street.— Leeds: A. . MANN.— Glasgow: W. LOVE, Nelson- street.— Derby: BROOKES, St. Alkmuud's- churchyard.— Leicester: BILLSON, Bellgrave- gate.— Beverley : WARD, Butcher- row.— Banbury: BUNTON, Cherwell- street. — Sheffield: ROGERS, Fruit- market.— Brighton: TOIJRLE, 57, Edward- street.— Newcastle- on- Tyne: FKANCE & Co., 8, Side.— Bradford, Yorksliire: W. Coo KE Vicar- lane. Printed and Published by the Proprietor, G. JOBHJTOME, 12 Russed court, JBrydges- street, Strand* ... 7