SflilSl ajk c » . [ BY H. 6. BROOKS] M » y be had complete in One Part, Price Two Shillings. Bent, per Post, by adding Six Postage Steals. No. 47. PASTS 1, 2, and 3, HOW Each Part may be sent, per Post, by attaching Six Stamps; or s*- nt, direct from the Office, for Eighteen Stamps PUBLISHED WEEKLY. Price id.— per post 2d. For remote parts, Single Copies may be sent direct from the Office, for 3 Postaga Stamps, or 26 Stamps per Quarter. LIGHTS AND SHADOWS OF MARRIED LIFE. Site'II try to gammon me THAT'S Iter Cousin." Mr. Narcissus Bodger was a speculative man, a very specula- tive man, vegetating by day in that region of spice and nutmegs, Mincing- lane, and slumbering at night in a ready- furnished second floor at Camden Town. Time, however, which tinges the hair of some men with silver, had filled the pockets of Mr. Bodger with gold, and being, as we before observed, of a specu- lative turn, he determined to enter the matrimonial state. Nar- cissus was not, however, the first person who had made a mis- calculation in a connubial scheme,; we should have observed, that he was rather partial to music, and the shilling musical con- certs of a Wednesday evening at Exeter Hall, were to Narcissus a souroe of great amusement. It was at one of these harmonic re- unions Narcissus first encountered Miss Lydia Dawdle; she was a fine looking young woman— very fitte and very young— so young that her aunt, who always accompanied her, called her a mere child. What a fine thing Is sentiment; how delightful a sympathetic mind; how adorable to find a heart respond to, and agree with, your own ideas ; at least, so thought Mr. Narcissus, who after calling loudly for a repetition of one of Sims Reeves magnificent solos, heard a voice behind him exclaim— " Oh, that dear Sims Reeves, I hope the gentleman will get him to sing again." Mr. Bodger turned round, it was a lady had spoken— that lady had called him a gentleman ; the lady was Miss Lydia Dawdle. Mr. Bodger's stentorian calls for an encore were successful, and Miss Dawdle gave Mr. Bodger such a condescending, such a pa- tronising smile, that Mr. Bodger could not help speaking to Miss Dawdlg, whereupon Miss Dawdle entered freely into conversation with Mr. Bodger. The aunt was also a most amiable lady— so little pride, and so much condescension, that really Bodger was quite taken with her. Again and again did they meet at Exeter Hall, till in four months from the time that Bodger had so obligingly encored Mr. Sims Reeves, and taken a house at Pimlico, the name of Dawdle was changed to Bodger, and she became, as the aunt expressed, ' a lawful married hooman.' Alas, for poor Narcissus soon, very toon did he discover the sad mistake he had made. We Baid Miss Dawdle was a fine woman ; if there was any fault in her coutour, there was rather too much for her, at least Mr. Bodger found her so— she was misses, and she would be master. That was not all; in addition to her aunt, who, of course, resided with ' her dear child,' she had such heaps of male cousins. What a family that aunt must have had 1 and, then, what appe- tites they possessed ? How they could smoke cigars, and drink brandy and water, all of which their married cousin, Mrs. Bodger, insisted Mr. Bodger should pay for. At length, the neighbours began to talk; strange rumours were afloat relative to Mrs. Bodger; a very unequivocal title was bestowed upon her, and numerous anonymous letters reached Mincing- lane, warning Nar- cissus either to keep his eyes open or wear a larger hat, or people would see his horns. It was one night, exaetly elrven months from the period when Bodger had united himself to Miss Dawdle, that business having oompelled his absence from town for a fortnight, he suddenly and unexpectedly returned;; it was midnight and thsre wa » a glare ot 98 THE TOWN. light in the front parlour of No. 39, his house ; he approached his habitation, the light reflected two figures upon the curtains— it Was a male and a female, they were embracing each other— the one was his wife— and the other— the other led him to exclaim bitterly. ' She'll try to gammon me— THAT'S her cousin'— Bodger was right in his surmise, she did try to' gammon' him but it was of no avail, he had seen enough, and taking with him a couple of policemen he saw something more— For waiting about half an hour until the lights were extinguished in the house. He obtained an « rtn . m>*. ' I found his faithless partner locked in the arms of a large hussur. The sequel is soon told, the station housi' was the lodging of the ' military cousin' (?) that night, Mrs. Bodgcr's aunt was ejected, and the police- reports of the next day stated that Mr- Narcisus Bodger, had consented to allow his wife a maintenance if she would never again enter his presence,— a promise, which, up to the present moment, has been faithfully kept on both sides. MASTER AIND MAID; A VENTRILOQUIST'S FIRST LOVE. FROM my youth up, I hare possessed tho extraordinary power of imitating sounds to perfection, and also of pitching my voice at pleasure in anv particular place or direction. This singular power, although it has often been the means of getting me into scrapes and difficulties, chiefly by too rashly exercis- ing it, has, also, several times extricated me from them. The following little adventure, which happened to me some years ago, may serve as an example. I have always been of rather an amorous disposition, and never have been troubled with any degree of timidity or bash- fulness. Now, it happened, that not many doors from the house in which we lived, I had observed a pretty housemaid. Susan, that was my charmer's name, after one or two sly con- versations, one evening introduced me to her bedroom, and there I remained for several hours! I was awoke by the house- clock striking two, and calling to my fair companion, I endea- voured to acquaint her with my intention of departing. After some difficulty, I succeeded in rousing her, and at the same moment, to my great astonishment, heard a heavy step de- scending the stairs. " Oh! it's master— it's Mr. Hopkins," whispered Susan, ii » evident consternation, " what shall we do? I'll be ruined!" While 1 was endeavouring to re- assure her, I heard a loud gruff voice exclaim— ' Who's there, Susan? I am sure I heard a strange voice." " Oh! it was only me, sir," said Susan, who had partly recovered her presence of miod. " It was only me, sir, talk- ing in my sleep; I always do sir." The owner of the gruff voice, however, did not seem to place much confidence in this reply, for I immediately heard him exclaim— " Oh, fudge' nonsense; let him come out, whoever he is, or I'll shoot him like a dog!" Perceiving that no time was now to be lost, I resolved to trust entirely to my vocal powers, and throwing my voice into the passage, I imitated the sound of a person shuffling along in their slippers, and then the noise that the latch of m door makes in shutting. Mr Hopkins was completely deceiv " My worst fears are confirmed " cried he. " Villain! ink not to escape me," and rushing madly along the passag •, he came to the back door, which he found carefully locked with the key inside. Never considering this fact, but cursing the delay, he opened the door, and dashed out into the small paved yard at the . roar of the house. Finding nothing here to vent liis rage upon, and being somewhat cooled by the open air, he doubtless began to consider the circumstance of the key rather strange, for I soon after heard him retracing his steps along the passage. Delighted at the success of my ruse, I had done notiiing all this time but laugh, and Susan, though somewhat astonished, had lost most of her terror. But the danger was not yet over. In a few minutes more we became aware that Mr. Hopkins was lighting a candle in the kitchep, evidently with the intention of searching Susan's bedroom. What was to le done now we knew not. Where was I to hide ? But . Susan's ingenuity now devised a plan which we were not dong in putting in execution. The usual order of tilings wasentire'y reversed, and with my fair companion uppermost, I lay like Don Juan, in a position more difficult to be expressed than understood. In another moment the enraged master of the house put his head in at the door, with a lighted candle in one hand and an immense horse- pistol in the other. " Is any one here, Susan?" he growled in a voice like t e rumbling of distant thunder. Susan made no answer, but began to cry, and I could feel her trembling violently above me. " If any one is here," said the exasperated Mr. Hopkins, " I'll shoot them as I would do a mad dog," and I oould hear the lock of his enormous pistol click amid the dead silence of the night. Although in some respects my position might appear rather enviable, I can assure my readers I began to feel ths suffo- cating sensations caused by it aoytning but pleasant, and, re- solving to free myself from it at all risks. I caused . my voice to imitate a person rustling underneath the bed. Mr. Hopkins was immediately on the alert, and poking feis pistol un^ eir- neath, he upset an unmentionable article, which Ciiused ; him jto spoil his priming, for, on pulling the trigger, ti: e weapon re- fused to go off. The worthy man's bravery, however, was not damped at the same time as his powder, for in spite of all ob- stacles, he thrust a part of his body underneath the bed, ex- pecting to seize and draw out the culprit. My voice now sounded upon the top of the house, and the words—" all right, Bill," being very distinctly lieaxd, Mr. Hop- kins proceeded up stairs. Throwing Susan hastily on one side, 1 now leaped out, and darted down stairs. Uttering a volley of curses, I could hear the enraged Hopkins following in hot pursuit; but, reaching the yard in safety, I ensconced myself in a small wash- house. In another moment I could hear my enemy searching the yard, and I resolved to baffle him by a new exercise of my vocal powers. Throwing my voice into the receptacle for cleanliness, I immediately drew his attention to that quarter As I expected, he commenced staring in through the opening with his body inclined forward: I lent my shoulders to the work and heaved him cleanly in. Having thus secured my pugnacious friend, I returned to Susan's room, where I hastily resumed my clothes, leaving the old man up to his neck in business. Although during the whole of this scene, Mr. Hopkins had not obtained a view of my features, my adventure was not without some unfortunate results. Susan lost her character together with her place, and about nine months afterwards, she paid me a visit, accompanied by the beadle of the parish, and bearing with her a squalling olive branch, intended as a small addition to our family circle. THE DARK DUCHESS! LOVE ON THE HIGHWAY. Being the last adventure qf the celebrated Captain George and his dauntless companion Maria Waters: detailing the amour oj the latter with a saintly Minister of the Gospel; and introducing nume- rous examples of the flash language, known as Modern Greek. BY THE ELFIN QUEEN. CHAP. II. Three- quarters of an hour slipped by, when they were suddenly interrupted by a loud noise and confusion in the chapel adjoining. The lovely fair one knowing the cause, hastily, but gently, dis- engaged herself from the religious swain's embraces ; and, quitting the closet, turned the key in the lock of the door, thereby securing the inebriated and incapacitated pastor inside. In the vestry, she was met, as before stated, by the Captain, to whom she related the successful manner in which she had kept the parson engaged in conversation; but purposely suppressed that portion of " the lecture " in which she was most closely connected. Upon unlocking the door of the room where the holy man was immured, the marauding party beheld that unfortunate individual extended upon the sofa, apparently fast asleep, and in a most eccen trie position. The three men, then, according to a previously ooncerted plan, seized the parson, and speedily reduced him to a " state of nature," exactly similar to that in which his respected mother first introduced him to public notice. They then carried him up into the pulpit, and, depositing their " precious charge" on the floor thereof, affixed to the book cushion a large rough placard, bearing the following inscription, daubed in huge letters:— " LICENSED TO BE DRUNK ON THE PREMISES, The party then descended to the vestry, and further regaled themselves with the wine of the vestry- cupboard. Then, securing some few silver- vessels, the whole party quickly departed, and soon the tramp of their horses' feet echoed over the village common. After a rapid gallop of about a quarter of a mile, the fugitives slack- ened their speed, and pausing on tbe brow of a hill, beheld many lights moving about the village below, and a loud hum of voices reached their ears. The Captain, pointing to the scene, exclaimed Muffle vonrlwhtfl and bi- ladln vonr flimbanions 1 The eiectec andhi3 female accomplice were tried, and proved guilty of nume- rous highway robberies; and the duchess was also found guilty of the death of the officer on Hounslow Heath. They bore their condemnation with much apparent composure, and their final con- duct at Tyburn was long afterwards the boast of their associates aud friends ; and the devoted courage of the duchess illicited the admiration of their greatest enemies. A substantial breakfast nobly marked the commencement of a day on which our hero and heroine were destined to act a very disagreeably conspicuous part. A considerable number oftyoung beaux of ran1' jad secured pro- minent places around the scaffold, to obtain the last glimpse of the beautiful face aud figure of the celebrated Daik Duchess. Great numbers of the frequenters of the Black Swan were lit . wise pre- sent, attired in every variety of costume. Man. of these worthies contrived to combine business with pleasure, during the confusion attending the final catastrophe. Both of the condemned were car- ried to the place of execution in the same cart; ana the cap'.-. in was doomed to suffer first, in order to 6trike greater terror to tho heart of his unfortunate companion. As the hangman was arrjiig- ing the rope around the neck of the male offender, the Dark Duchess ( whose hands were not secured) suddenly snatched a clasp- knife from the side- pocket of the executioner, aud with tho celerity of light, plunged it into the back of that official. Instantly a file of muskets were discharged at the culprit's cart, and all its three occupants fell dead at the bottom. It is scarcely necessary to add, that the village- parson was soon discovered in his unpleasant and disgraceful situation ; and the next morning he quitted the neighbourhood for ever. USEFUL HINTS- Crenr. orne Gardens is to open for tbe regular summer season on an unprecedented scale of magnificence, aud with a company equal to the best and palmiest days ot VuuxhalJ, the, caterer being Mr. T. B. Sitnpsen, who, although the greatest, creditor on the property, will not, for the sake of the humble artistes, who for several years have earned a livelihood there, permit the place to be closed, and has accordingly made arrangements with the assignets. your lights, beladle your glimbanions! ejected brethren are mustering their forces !" To which one of the men replied: " Ay ! and tho officers are on the scent!" The noise of horses' feet rapidly approaching, confirmed the remark ; and the fugitives, instantly galloping down the hill, were lost to their pursuer's sight, by a turn or angle in the road. At the end of a long line of highway, the fugitives were suddenly brought to a dead halt, by the swinging- to of a thickly- spiked, five- bar turnpike gate, by the guardian genius of the same. The Captain was honourably bringing up the rear of the retreat, but his quick eye anticipated the action, and he shouted loud to the foremost rider:—" Snick the dub at the napping- jigger!"— The man accordingly fired, but not before the toll- taker had spring- locked the gate. Seeing this the Captain then immediately leapt his horse over a low adjacent hedge, and the others follow- ing his example, the whole party scoured over several meadows, closely followed by two officers of justice, and four villagers. At length, a narrow but deep river lay before them, into which the highly- trained horses of the fugitives gallantly ploughed, and safely reached the opposite side. The pursuers, however, fared worse ; for the horse of the first officer violently kicking, threw its rider headlong into the stream; and as all the jaded hacks of the village most unanimously refused to breast the river, the remaining officer prudently forbore to continue the pursuit alone. Pausing upon a small eminence, the fugitives witnessed with much amusement the dilemma of the officers and rustics. Then ca- tering slowly forward, to breathe their horses, they avoided the town on the left, and after a couple of hours' sharp riding, drew up at the " Black Swan," in St. Gile's. Three months after the foregoing events, described in the pre- ceding chapter, a man arrived in the general room of the Boozing Ken ; and, in conversation amid the company, alluded to the final apprehension of ihe daring " Captain George^" an occurrence which had happened only two days previous. On the landlord aud others gathering round him, and inquiring the mode of the Captain's capture, the stranger related the following particulars, which will be more vividly depicted in his own words: — " The night before last," said the stranger, " the Captain and his bold blowen wire taking a turn over Houns'ow, when the Captain's prad suddenly shied at the ' scragging post' which stands at the north end of the Heath; and, though the Captain is a crack rider, he was thrown violently upon the ground Before ' the Duchess' could dismount to his assistance, two traps rode full gallop up to the spot, and seizing the insensible Captain, bound him ' hand and foot.' Meanwhile, his dauntless companion drew off a little ; and levelling one of - her . snickers at the bead of the nearest trap, she fired with her usuiil unerring aim. But at the same moment, her prad was .. shot In the neck by the other man. Yet, as ' the Duchess' is one of the most ' fly' prad- guiders of the day, she kept her se< » t,; io spi^ of the tremen- dous bounds, and rearing and plunging of the iwiimal; and when it staggered, and fell over on one side, she glipinqd safe off aa the other. Then, as tlie trap ran up to secure ber, she dealt him a smashing blow over his nouseuse- boji, with tihe'butt- end of one ol her pops. The man fell stunned, but qaiqtcly recovering himself, the gii, ve chase, and caught the ' Duchess1' at the edge of the Heath. Fastening both the 1 Captain ' and his companion to the fo « t of' the topping- cheat,' he rode off for assistance to carry his prisoners to town. The ' Captain,' on coming to his senses, observed to bis fellow-, captive, —" We are clawtd by a plant ; the MUtc. bing Miller' has clamped the regulars and buffed home !" " The blasted chirp deserves to shove the tumblers,'' replied the Duchess, " or rather to adorn the floating- college!" " We shall both take the ' flying leap' together, and dance under the ' leafless tree,' growled the Captain ;' and our history be chanted on the leer." " Mums the word," said his companion;" the traps are returning!" They were then surrounded by a party of mounted- police, and conveyed rapidly to town. On entering the prison, and being consigned to the care of the gaolers, those worthies ( being all well- acquainted with Captain George) bailed him with numerous jokes and witticisms. " Tip us your spare flimsies, noble captain," said one—" Stump the rowdy, and face the rubber," cried another—" You won't let the pretty dell snooze on tbe strummell, all ' darkman,'" suggested a third; " so let's grab the swag for a seUct nest." " My gropers clinks no coppers," said the captain, ' but my ' blowen' will disperse the quids for both herself and me." Then, on the duchess liberally feeing the gaolers, the captain and herself were accommodated with a cell of a superior sort to the general class. By the power of gold, the imprisoned couple were provided with a bed, a table, a light, and other conveniences, together with an ample amount of solid refreshment. After these matters had beer, satisfactorily arranged, the captain and the duchess prepared their snoozing apparatus, by dragging the bed close against the door, to guard against any sudden invasion during the night, the captain having a slight suspicion that the gaolers intended to effect a separation between himself and partner during the hours of blessed oblivion. No such attempt, however, was made, and the captain and his lady awoke in the morning as much refreshed as if they had been reposing in— " Some sweet suburban cottage, Soft in the bosom of still vale upreared!" Here the stranger's narration ceased, as the following events had not then occurred ; but the remainder is soon related. The captain Or a hundred cases of sickness, is is said 75 would get wel without medicine, 15 would be benefited by it, and 10 would die whether or no. PROUD men never have friends; either in prosperity, because they know nobody; or in adversity nobody knows them. How TO MAKE STRONG TEA.— A constant reader savs,' Per- haps it is not generally known, that the way to make good tea is, first to pour the boiling water in the pot, and then to put in the tea, not mixing it at all. The reason is obvious, for, of course, the hottest water is on the top, where the steam rises, when the tea is better infused, and the flavour drawn out more properly." Yon can never overtake time. It is best therefore to be always a few minutes before him. Go not to your doctor for every ail, nor to your lawyer for every quarrel, nor to your bottle for every thirst. THE FOLLY OF MANKIND.— A company opened an office in ' Change- alley, during the South Sea mania, to receive subscriptions for raising a million for a purpose to be made known after the million was raised ! The people flocked in, and paid five shillings on evxry fifty pounds they subscribed. A large sum was thus col- lected^ when un advertisement was published, announcing that the subscribers might have their deposits without any deduction, as the project., of . the diwitors was merely a trial to see how many fools they CQUld nijftke : ip one day. YOIJSG gK^ TFTOM fourteen to seventeen, are fond of aping the woman in their . dress, and are partial to long shawls, which give the young things a matronly appearance. When they become women in reality, they are rather too apt to go upon the opposite tack, and to assume the dress and airs of the girl. How MEN SHOULD TREAT WOMEN.— A Persian poet gives the following instruction on this important point:— 1 When thou art nwrried, seek, to [ please thy wife; but listen not to all that she says. From man's right side a rib was taken to form the woman, and never was there seen a rlb. quite straight. It breaks, but bends not. Since, then, it . is plain that crooked is woman's temper, forgive her faults . and blame her ; not, nor let her anger thee, nor correction use, as it ytiin vain . to straighten what is crooked.' LITERATURE. LIFE : OR, THE i; f'J'Km\' lTRK FOR THE MILLION. Joseph Clayton, 565, Strand, Londr. n. _ It U a long time, a very long time, since wc have read a pub- lication that has afforded us so . much real amusement as the above. From the title psige to the imprint it abounds . with genuine wit and humour, whilst the engravings, which are numerous, are of a first rate character. In short, Lite is the most talented, neatly printed publication that has been issued from the . two- penny press, re- minding us of the best - days of Punch. We look anxiously for the second number. The following is one of the pieces of humour scattered through the work:— LIFE CATECHISMS —. CABS.— What is a cabman ?— The most un- fare person in existence.. What is imposture- His badge ! What is his number?—. No. A—: Che , en'ly number he ever takes care < pf! What is his check- string?— A summons before a magistrate ! What are his takings « — Takiug everybody , up and taking every- ihftdyiiii. Bow does he. let?— Alternately— sometimes by letting you in ijiud sometimes by letting jou down! What distance does he go?— To any extent— in charging! By the hour or the mile?— When you go a mile, he charges you ft> r an bow, and when you stop an hour he charges you ten miles. What is bis wheel ?— Your woe ! What are his curtains?— Signs of respectability intended to blind the public. What is his degradationJ-^ Continually losing his rank! What is his waterman?— A brandy- and- waterman ! Why does he so get over the public ?— Look at the way in which he takes his stand! And what is his Catechism?— A Catechism treating de cabibus rebus instead of de omnibus rebus! CONJUGAL FIDELITY TRIUMPHANT. During the " Reign of Terror," in the first French Revolution, when Lyons became the theatre of daily executions, a woman learned by chance that her husband's name was on the list of the proscribed, and instantly ran to avert the impending destruction, by securing his immediate flight. She compelled him to assum- her dress, gave him her money and jewels, and had th') inexpres- sible happiness to see him pass unsuspected. A few hoi. rs at'tere wards the officers of justice came to seize upon H o. She had prepared herself to receive them, by putting on a S'. it of her hus- band's clothes, and answering also to her husband's name. She was led before the Revolutionary Committee ; in the course of the examination her disguise was discovered, and they demanded of her her husband. " My husband," she answered in a tone of exulta- tion, " is out of the reach of your power— I planned his escape, and I glory in risking my own life for the preservation ® f his."' They displayed before her the instrument of punishment, and charged her to reveal the route her husband had taken. " Strike " she replied, " I am prepared." " But it is the interest of your country that commands you to speak,'' said one of the committee. " Barbarians," she answered, " my cosntrv cannot command me to outrage the sacred laws of nature." Her dignity and firmness awed even the members of the Revolutionary Committee, and a noble action, for once, prevailed over their spirits of desolating cruelty. THE TOWN. 3 TALES OF LONDON LIFE.— No. 2. MODEST MARTHA; OK, THE MYSTERIES OF LONDON STREETS. BY H. G. BPOOKS, AUTHOR OP " MRS. LORIMEK SPINKS." Our readers will remember the peculiar position in which we left Sam Rivers, Tom Hall, the coachman, and the guardian of the night in No. 44, and it was not possible they could long re- main in that state. The fellows who had come to the rescue of the Weazel, or rather Palsgrave, and enabled him as already de- t i ]" d, to escape unseen to the house of Lady Arding, were, as i. • d- iubt our readers have anticipated, a portion of the formidable t j of miscreants of which he was the accredited leader. As . therefore, as the men perceived that Palsgrave and Rose " J, ,;".. ind had turned the corner of the street, they prepared for heir own escape, by " gagging the Charley," as it was termed in ' hose days of Tom and Jerryism, and tveing him to the railings, a teat very easy of performance, when we refltct that the official » as an infirm old man, and his assailants three active young ; allows. The whole of these incidents, the arrival of the coach, the lttack upon the driver, departure of Martha Pemberton, and the subsequent assault upon the watchman, had, it must be borne in mind by the reader, occupied but a few moments. About five minutes after the cowardly ruffians had made their escape, some labouring men proceeding to their work discovered the watchman iu the position just described, and their asionish- ment must have been equally great, in discovering, at a short dis tance from him, two men senseless upon the around. To release the watchman, and call for assistance, was the immediate result of their discovery, and it being found that both the coachman and Sam Rivers were insensible, they were forthwith conveyed to the nearest hospital, Middlesex. The injuries received by the coachman were of a most serious character, and for several days he remained insensible, bis life being despaired of. Rivers, however, had not suffered so severely from the ruffianly assault, and on the morning of the second day after his admission into the hospital, he felt himself sufficiently recovered to insist upon leaving. The first step was to proceed to the house of his master in Lancaster Court, and the shock he received upon finding the place a heap of ruins may be better imagined than described. The communicative loquacity of Mrs. Raddles, the late mangle proprietress, put him in possession of every particular connected with the conflagration Ascertaining sufficient to understand that the fire was supposed to have originated in the apartment, occupied by the person known as the " mad captain," that he had not been heard of since, and it was supposed he had perished in the flames. Mrs. Raddles story becoming of a very lugubrious character, Sam left her, feeling that he had other and more important mat- ters to attend to. Distress of a pecuniary description he had no trouble with respect to, for Mr. Pemberton had left with him a sum sufficient to pay for the conveyance of both himself and Mar- tha to Dublin, to which place she was to have been taken in the course of a week to meet her grandfather. This money had been found upon him when taken to the hos- pital, and although its amount excited some surprise, his expla- nation was fortunately sufficient to cause it, without much en- quiry to be returned to him. Mrs. Raddles astonishment was therefore extreme, when just prior to leaving, Solitary Sam, whom she supposed friendless and penniless, placed in her hand half a sovereign, to help her in pre- 1 sent necessities, and to take care of any letters which might be j brought, by the postman, either for or from Mr. Pembertou. Did j we say Mrs. Raddles was astonished— she was more, she was electrified— it served her as a theme of comment and conver- sation for months afterwards, and no( doubt materially accelerated the exertions of her gossiping female acquaintances, iu getting- up the subscription for another mangle for such an useful news- monger. Leaving the chattering Mrs. Raddles, whose garrulity had never at any period been pleasurable to him, Sam proceeded to the chambers tenanted by Captain Driscoll, in Lyon's Inn, the information which Rivers had received from llote putting it be- yond all doubt that he was the person who had in some nay been connected with the abduction of Modest Martha, though in the principal object of his visit he was disappointed, by reason of Captain Driscoll's apartments being empty, and, consequently un- able as he intended, to bring him before a magistrate, he gleaned particulars in connection with that, of which be was already ac- quainted, that placed liim upon what he now conceived to be a correct scent. l'rom Mrs. Ingrain he heard all that the reader is acquainted with, relative to the discovery iu the box of Modest Martha, and although he did not clearly understand the means which had led to hei being placed in that position, the subsequent information that a lady hud arrived, professing to be a friend to Martha, and taken her away, induced him to imagine this could be no other than Lady Arding. " Wh ? re is your son?" exclaimed Sam, upon hearing from the porteres:! that he had entered the coach; " lie will explain to me at once where the dear child was taken to— or at least the name of the fee'ale whom he accompanied in the coach; you say he knew b> r.'' " Hi certainly knew her!" 11 \' o then can tell me her name," exclaimed Sam. His i tonishment was extreme at hearing she did not know the name o the female, or anything farther of her than that she underst nd she lived somewhere iu Piccadilly, it also appeared that her son, young Ingrain, had not been heard of since that niuht, but this circumstance did not appear to much affect Mrs. Ingrain's maternal feelings, it being customary for him to absent himself often as long as a week at a time. Certain particulars had, however, reached the ear of the police that had induced them to search the apartments of Captain Driscoll, who had suddenly absconded, all trace of him being lost, whilst his chambers were found to be comparatively empty. Sam felt it would be useless to waste time in farther parleying. At the watch- house in Portugal- street, he found the box which had borne Martha; this he claimed as being his master's property, und then proceeded to the house of Lady Arding, in Piccadilly. Here he found one general scene of constrruation and dismay, death in its most appalling form having taken up its aaode there, and even the humblest member of the household was filled with alarm— a crowd was round the door, and from a bu> y chattering mob Sum soon learned the cause of this confusion; her ladyship, it appeared, had left late on the previous evening, it was slated for Birmingham, aud about midnight Sir Vincent had arrived at home, when, upon being informed of her absence, he flew into a fearful passion, and ordered his valet to take immediate steps for pursuing her. The valet, however, upon his return from delivering the mes- sage to a servant, was nearly petrified with horror upon beholding, leaning against a sola, the lifeless body of him, who had tut a few moments prior been his master. The broken tumbler upon the carpet, the water scattered around, and the strong smell that pereaded the apartment, plainly indicating that Sir Vincent had taken a powerful mixture of hydrocyanic acid, which, with its suddenly fatal properties, had instantly destroyed life. Appalling as was this event, and great as the excitement which it necessarily threw around every person conuec. ed with the establishment of the deceased, it was trifling compared to the alarm that reigned in the household, when followed as it was by a catastrophe of even a more horrible character. The following morning, shortly after breakfast, and during the time that the officers of justice were busy making the most searching in- quiries into the cause which could have led to the demise of Sir Vincent, several of the servants were seized with the most ex- cruciating pains, and two of them, her ladyship's maid and the valet, shortly after expired. In the course of an hour, two olhers were taken ill, and now of all the servants only two, who from some cause had not taken breakfast, were able to attend to their duties; iu short, said one of the ' bystanders, there is but little doubt but every one of the poor servants has been poisoned, and the worst part of the story is, no one knows where the missus of t. lio house is, Sir Vincent's nephew can't be found, and there's no - one to care care of nothing. ( To be continued.) TOWN TALK. The London green- rooms have been deeply engaged canvassing the cause of Mr. Macready's mysterious disappearance from the Palace after appearing in Julius Caesar; and his refusing to sit with Mr. Kean and his brother actors at the entertainment given by her Majestv. It is hoped something will be done by Parliament to check the villainous extortions hourly practised by the cabmen. With hay and corn at the present price, it is outrageous they should be allowed to charge eightpence a mile. The people of Bristol appear to be as great flats in some things as their neighbours. A few clever, scheming, hymn- roaring, whito- neekerchiefed swells, have been putting the green- horns to riglr. s to a tidy extent, by getting up Teetotal demonstrations at the Tailors' Hall, in Broad- street, at one shilling each! The fellows profess to give the visitors a good tea for it. Several hun- dreds dropped their tin, and wh n too late found it was an awful sell, getting mixture strongly savouring of salts and senna, and a bit ot ca e that it would smash the teeth of any saw- mill to dis- sever. Ail Bristol is up in arms at being so hoaxed. The Governors of the Bank of England are busied in forming a library for the use of their clerks— an example which, it is hoped, will not be lost upon large provincial firms. The rigs carried on in the wine trade are daily getting more and more exposed in the Bankruptcy Court. It appears to be quite a common thing to send stuff not worth three and sixpence a gallon fifty and sixty miles into the country, and sell it by auction as the private stock of a gentleman, worth as much and more per bottle. If Mr. Wilkinson, of Grimesthorpe, can carry out his improve- ments in gas, the Yorkshire people will become the great lights of the world, as by his plan gas can be manufactured at about one and tenpence per 1,000 oubio feet. It is rumoured that Mr. N. T. Hicks, the leading tragedian at Batty's Royal Amphitheatre, has written a long letter to Charles Kean, expressing his unqualified disgust at the favouritism exhi- bited in casting the performances at Windsor Castle, It is, however, but justice to the talented gentleman's abilities, to observe, that in this opinion he is not actuated by selfish or interested motives, as in his letter we understand he says—" Though I am bound to every act of duty, allegiance, and love to the lady who rules this land, and my heart would leap! to rush to her rescue, and I would gladly spill my best blood, for 1 do ( nightly) in her cause. But my professional position, my standing on the legitimate stage, would uot permit of my playing second to Mac., and I'd see him first before I'd do it." No stranger from the country should leave town without taking a peep at the Victoria Tower, and seeing the extraordinary hoisting scaffold, which is assuredly one of the most wonderful mechanical efforts to save time and labour, modern engineering has produced. It's becoming quite the fashion to present carriages to clergy- men; at Bath to wit; and St. Mary's, Leamington. We are in hourly expectation of a steam- engine a size and a half larger than that of the Times, to work off our publication. Country magistrates appear .' to have a style of phraseology pecu- liar to themselves. At Bristol, the other day, the Mayor said to an old man who had been knocked down by two fellows, and robbed by a prostitute, " Serve you right, yon hoary- headed old sinner ;" and to a prosecutor who refused to swear to a skin he had been robbed of, " Why, you are an out- and- out fool— I never saw such a fool iu my life. You are as ignorant as a horse— a regular double- fisted jackass." Pretty language for a Mayor. We quote from the Bristol Mercury of the 2nd inst. There is more tricks played with beer by the publicans in the parish of Shadwell, the neighbourhood of Wapping, antl the Tower Hamlets, than all the rest of the London victuallers put together; treacle, salt, and a mixture of copperas and water, making one cask into four. The custom, unfortunately too common in many London night- houses, of keeping a disbanded cab- ruffian as waiter, to beat, insult, and often assist in robbing poor drunken customers, has received an indirect check from the magistrates of Westminster, in the case of a Pimlico coffee- housekeeper. There is, it appears, very little doubt but the Americans will carry out their scheme of direct communication with the Isle of Wight, by means of the electric telegraph. A woman was sent by a country magistrate a few days since from liis court to be examined at another, at a distance of up- wards of 170 miles, simply because she had thought proper to fool awav 1002 in dress in this Solon's town. She was, of course, discharged shortly after her arrival. WANTED. THE FOLLOWING ARTICLES ARE IN GREAT DEMAND, AND A LIBERAL PRICE WILL BE GIVEN UPON APPLICATION TO OUR PUBLISHER. A quiet comfortable house in Rome for the Pope. A correct list of the new scenes in all the pantomimes, written by Nelson Lee, Esq. this year. The last chair the Railway King ever ruled in, and the name of the Railway where the next will be found. The man who thought himself lueky in paying twenty shillings to Joseph Ady. A nursery- girl who abominates a " Life's Guardsman." The residences of" the oldest inhabitant," and the grower of the largest turnip. What they mix in the food to cause Prince Albert's Prize Pigs always to win. The private address of Lola Montes. A thief or a caduer who will give a true account of himself to ihe Morning Chronicle Commissioner. A medical student who does'nt know " Sam Mall," think's Paddy Green is'nt a regular brick, and has never broken a lamp or a knocker. A Bank buss- man who will subscribe for a monument to Sir Piti r Laurie. A company aud a piece that will draw money to the Marylebone Theatre. A publican who will sell port wine as at Short's, Strand, during Sunday, and after 11 at night. A COLUMN FOR EVERYBODY, There is a man who goes to the Piccadilly Saloon, who lives so fast that he is now absolutely older than his father, and it is thought he will soon overtake his grandfather. His mother, a quiet elderly lady, he has left behind long ago— as well as two old maiden aunts, and an uncle sixty- five. ART OF MINIATURE PAINTING—" Pray, Mr. Jones," said Lady M , " how do you limners contrive to overlook the ug- liness aud yet preserve the likeness?" " The art,' madam," re- plied he,'' may be conveyed in two words : where nature has been severe, we soften; where she has been kind, we aggravate." Theodore Porker aptly compares some men who grow rich by- trade to cabbages growing in a violet bed. They smother the violets, but are, after all, nothing but cabbages. AN IMPUDENT FELLOW.— Coming from Aberdeen one day by the Dundee and Perth and Aberdeen Railway, a correspondent was amused by a laughable incident which occurred in the car- riage in which he had taken his seat. An old woman was sitting opposite; and as they came near Montrose, the guard looked in as usual, and said, " Any one here for Montrose ?" There was no answer, and the train was a good way on the road to Forfar, when I his old woman inquired of the gentleman who sat next her if she was near Montrose yet? " Near Montrose," said he, " we're nearer Forfar. Did you not hear the guard asking if there was any one for Montrose ?" " Hoot, awa, laddie," said the lady, " wha was gaen to answer tlion impudent scoundrel ? what busi- ness had he to know where I was gaen?" " Of what religion are you?" " I don't know." " Did you ever go to church ?" " I was never there but once, when 1 was married " " Did you ever go to chapel ?" " No! I never was in one in my life." " Well, what an? you ? Are you a Roman Catholic?" " No, hang it! no ! I bean't quite so bad as that, neither." WHY is a dog's tail like the heart of ee?— Because it is farthest from the bark. " You can't imagine, ma'am, what a beneficial effect my glasses have on my sight!" remarked a gentleman to a lady, the other day " Indeed !" responded she- " I wish I could say the same of William's ; they always send im home blind drunk." A young lady offers the followini serviceable and original rule for the guidance of spinsters :— Before marriage, it is necessary that the young woman should see her intended husband in four situations, viz.:— 1st, tipsy ; 2ndly, playing at, cards and losing; 3rdly, waiting for his dinner; and lastly, iu a ball room. THE RUSSIAN ° AN.—- It has been said by learned writer that England is the centre of the earth; judging from the very free manner in which she lends her money, and never gets paid, she might also be considered the " fool in the middle.'' Mr. Gore said of the Dowager Countess of Lusbington, who h » d a reputation for painting, that whenever she wanted to wash h ir face, she was obliged to go to a shop in Wardour- street where they cleaned old paintings. JUMPING AT CONCLUSIONS.— Marrying a girl for the sake of her fortune, and finding it impendent on two aunts and a re- version. A COMFORTABLE WIDOW—•" The next morning, while slop ping at one of the landings, the lady on b • ird the Sultana, who had a siek husband awaiting her ( a : 3 i. iought) at Louisville, was greeted with the intelligence that the unfortunate gentleman was no more, but that his body was on hoard a steamer which was puffing alongside ours, ami was on its way to New Orleans; ad the disconsolate widow— I can see her now, as she stood sha- ding her eyes from the sun, and asking particulars of her friend, who had hailed her from the other steamer. She neither seemed surprised nor shocked, but after a little mental hesitation decided not to accompany the remains of her husband down the river, but to pursue her voyage to Louisville, as she had originally intended. I never saw so composed a widow; she never absented herself from any of the meals, and ate and drank quite comfortably, a little serious sometimes, but nothing more. People have no time to think of death in America." ON E of the sons of Bacchus furtively tapped a hogshead one night, and applied himself to the enjoyment of its contents, which turned out to be— liquid manure! REYTHER CLEVER.— The watchman of a warehouse iu Phi- ladelphia receutly found a thief'on the premises. The fellow, who had struck a light, coolly stated that he also had been employed as a watchman. Two other watchmen, attracted by the light, afterwards came in, and received the lame information. The Dogberries believed the story ; and the thief, being left to him- self, swept off a large booty. " ARRAH, Teddy, and wasn't your name Teddy O'Byrne before you left ould Ireland ?'' '• Sure it was, my darlint." " But, my jewel, why then do you add s, and call it Teddy O Byrne's now?" " Why, you spalpeen ! havenVI been married since I kem to Liverpool ? aud are you so ignorant of grammatics that you don't know when one thing is added to another it becomes plural ?" CHRISTMAS DINNER CLUBS.— Experienced salesmen at Lead- enhall Market state, that the demand for Ctiristmas- geese last year exceeded that of any previous season, and that the estab- lishment of clubs brought upwards of 350,000 geese into the market Tbe average height of the men composing a regiment of Sikhs raised at Ferozepore, had been found on measurement, to reach six feet three inches. The regiment was 1,000 strong, and some of the men exceeded six feet six inches in height. A clergyman in Virginia, writing to some friends, says, " Yes- terday, at liall- past three o'clock, I preached the funeral sermon of a man; and to- day, at the same hour, I married his widow to another man!" " If ignorance is bliss ' tis folly to be wise.''— The Times asserts that England and Wales, with sixteen millions of people, contain nearly nine millions unabh' to write their own name, and not iess than six millions unable to read their mother tongue. The Thunderer is vastly complimentary. THE GARTER.— About the year 1344, according to some, but in the year 1350, on the authority of Stowe, the celebrated Order of tbe Garter was founded. If we may put faith in an old fable, it originated in the Countess of Salisbury having danced her stockings down ttt a cou t ball; when the king seeing her garter rianuliiie at her heels, took ho; d and gave it to her, exclaiming, Honi soit qui mul y pense, which was a cut at some females who pretended to he shocked ut the incident. Their smothered ex- clamations of " Well I'm sure!" " Upou my word!" and " Well, really, I never! D, d you ever!" were thus playfully rebuked by Edward the Third, who afterwards made the words we have quoted the motto of the O. der. We need scarcely tell our readers in this enlightened age, that Roni soit qui mat y pense, is equivalent to saying that those who see lurm 111 an inno- cent act, derive from themselves all the evil that presents itself. " The fii st feathered fowl," said an Irishman, " that I ever see, when I kem to Ameriky, was a forkintiue ( porcupine). I treed him under a hay- stack, and shot him with a barn- shovel. The first time I shot him, 1 missed him ; the second time 1 shot him, I hit him in the same place where I miss< d him before." Why does a railway clerk cut a hole in your return- ticket ?— To let you pass through. 4 ALLTHE BACK NUMBERS THE TOWN ARB NOW RE- PRINTING, MYSTERIES OF LOVE: OR, THE Adventures of Manon Lescaut. My despair,— my cries,— my tears, exceeded all belief: I raved in so incoherent a manner that all the bystanders, who were igno- rant of the cause, looked at each other with as much dread as surprise. G. M.. would have inflicted on me a dreadful punishment, but the governor would not consent to add to the annoyance of my imprisonment, observing, that I must have been much insulted to become so excited. G. M.. left the prison, vowing vengeance against me, and I embraced the opportunity to put the governor n full possession of my story, not forgetting my love for Manon, aud my agony at finding she was a prisoner like myself. The good father, seeing me in such affliction, endeavoured to console me. He told me that he had never understood my his- tory, as I just now related it; he had of course known that I led a dissolute life, but he had imagined that M. G. M..' » inte- rest about me was the result of his esteem and friendship for my family ; that it was in this sen9e he had explained the matter to him ; that what I had now told him should assuredly produce a change in my treatment, and that he had no doubt but the accu- rate detail which he should immediately transmit to the lieu- tenant- general of police, would bring about my liberation. He then inquired why I had never thought of informing my family of what had taken place, since they had not bee » instru- mental to my incarceration. I satisfactorily answered this by stating my unwillingness to cause my father pain, or to bring upon myself the humiliation of such an exposure. In the end, he promised to go directly to the lieutenant- general of police; if it were only, said he, to be beforehand with M. G. M.., who went off in such a rage, and who has sufficient influence to make him- self formidable. I looked for the good father's return with all the suspense of a man expecting sentence of death. It was torture to me to think of Manon at the Magdalen. Besides the infamy of such a prison, I knew not how she might be treated there. The governor upon his return informed me that my enemy, G. M.., had been before him, and greatly prejudiced the mind of the lieutenant- general against me, but that he had succeeded in getting my sentence commuted to six months' imprisonment. During the absence of the governor, I had formed a plan for escape, and to work this out I requested, and with unaffected sincerity, a favour, which could be of no consequence to others, and which would contribute much to my peace of mind ; it was to inform a friend of mine, a devout clergyman, who lived at St. Sulpice, that I was at St. Lazare, and to permit me occasionally to receive his visits. This was of course my friend Tiberge; not that I could hope from him the assistance necessary for effecting my liberty; but I wished to make him the unconscious instrument of my designs. In a word, this was my project; I wished to write to Lescaut, and 10 charge him and our common friends with the task of my deli- verance. The first difficulty was to have my letter conveyed to him ; this should be Tiberge's office. However, as he knew him to be Manon's brother, I doubted whether he would take charge of this commission. My plan was to enclose my letter to Lescaut in another to some respectable man of my acquaintance, begging of him to transmit the first to its address without delay ; and as it was nccessary that I should have personal communication with Les. caut, in order to arrange our proceedings, I told him to call on me at St. Lazare, and assume the name of my eldest brother, as if he had come to Paris expressly to see me. I postponed till our meet, ir. g all mention of the safest and most expeditious course I in- tended to suggest for our future conduct. The governor informed Tiberge of my wish to see him. This ever- faithful friend had not so entirely lost sight of me as to be ignorant of my present abode, and it is probable that, in his heart, he did not regret the circum- stance, from an idea that it might furnish the means of my moral regeneration. He lost no time in paying me the desired visit, and then I opened my heart to him without any reserve, except as to the mere point of my intention of escaping; at the same time I was equally candid upon the subject of the continuance of my passion for Manon— a passion which, as I expected, he endeavoured to de- stroy, and for several hours did he continue, in vain, to argue the point with me. At length Tiberge allowed that my ideas were not altogether so unreasonable, One effect of our conversation was to revive my frlofifl's pity for • ate ia all its force. Hs perceived that there was m < t> y mors more of weakness than of vice; and he was the more disposed in the end to give me assistance ; without which I should infallibly have perished from distress of mind. However, I carefully con- cealed from him my intention of escaping from St. Lazare. I merely begged of him to take charge of my letter ; I had it ready before he came, and I soon found an excuse for the necessity of writing. He faithfully transmitted it, » nd Lescaut received before evening the one I had enclosed for him. He came to see me next morning, and fortunately was admitted under my brother's name. I was overjoyed at finding him in my room. I carefully closed the door. Let us lose no time, I said. First tell me about Manon, and then advise me how I am to shake off these fetters. He assured me that he had not seen his sister since the day before my arrest, and that it was only by repeated inquiries, and after much trouble, that he had at length been able to discover her fate as well as mine ; and that he had two or three times presented himself at the Magdalen, and been refused admit- tance. Wretch I muttered I to myself, dearly shall G. M.. pay for this As to your escape, continued Lescaut, it will not be so easy as you imagine. Last evening, I and a couple of friends walked round this establishment to reconnoitre it ; and we agreed that, as your windows looked into a court surrounded by buildings, as you yourself mentioned in your letter, there would be vast difficulty in getting you out. Besides, you are on the third story, and it would be impossible to introduce ropes or ladders through the window. I therefore see no means from without— in the house itself we must hit upon some scheme. No, replied I; I have examined everything minutely, particu- larly since, through the governor's indulgence, my confinement has been less rigorous. I am no longer locked into my room; I have liberty to walk in the gallery ; but there is, upon every land- ing, a strong door kept closed night and day ; so that it is impos- sible that ingenuity alone, unaided by some violent efforts, can rescue me. ( To be continued.) iHoticea to © ortcjapontients. A RAKE ET LONDRES DE PARIS.— We begin to surmise that you have, like many others, written to us, and it has miscarried through being wrongly directed. TIIETA.— We have carefully perused ' My Own Amours,' tliey are wf'I written, but we regret our present arrangements l ender it impossible for ui to use them. AH OLD PAL.— Nausea, sickness,' and trembling, generally follow a night's hard drinking. Try the recipe we sent you, but be careful how you mix the ingredients, it will make you all right in leis than three quarters of an hour. AN OLD INHABITANT OF BRISTOL goes in a burster acainst the Teeto- tallers there, but he comes it rayther too strong for us. What an excellent fellow our correspondent would make in a* colony of lawyers, he'd find work for ' em all— there being about r. ine hundred libels in one page of his copy. You must be an awfully terriblejcove with your pen, when your fairly let loose and get the steam up— never stopping for Spelling, and let- ting tin grammar come after you by the next train. SI- INKS ( Lancashire),— There is no. difficulty about getting the article. Write to T. Hicks. A. B. C.- Stnd your address. GHIKKINS.— There is a story told of a young swell, who made a greater mis- take than ever you did, through getting out of bed at one of these places, and taking a drink from a chance pitcher. A solution of alum and water would not, however, hurt you. DROMIO ( Hanging Ditch, Manchester).— The story is old ; it was in Limerick where the widow of a shomaker, of the name of O'Connor, sent to lier customers the following handbill—' My husband, Barney, is dead, but that is nothing at all, for Micky Davis, our journeyman, will keep doing for me the same as the did before, and he can work a great deal belter than Barney did at the last, as I've had experience of, because of his ould age and ailments. Mickey is a devil at hammering tho leather, being so young; and active, so I hope I'll have your custom.' ( Other communications next week.) TO COUNTRY BOOKSELLERS & NEWS- AGENTS. RPHE TRADE are requested, should they find any difficulty in obtaining X THE TOWN from their regular agent, to send their orders direct. W. W. begs to inform the trade, that ho can serve them at the lowest price with all the weekly and monlhly periodicals, magazines, and newspapers, lie making it his endeavour to deserve their support by his promptness and dispatch in collecting and forwarding their orders entire, even to the smallest articles. Cash in advance for the first two months. W. WINN, 34, Holywell- street, Strand, Loudon. A LAWYER'S CLEHK ( Portsea).— Jenny Lind Is NOT YET married. Your second question is absurd, there is a regiment called the SCOT'S Greys, not SCOTCH. PICKLED ONION.— We are sorry for you, but you should write to Hicks. J. J. ( New Kent Road)— Try again, and not so blue. R. D. X. ( Pall Mall)— It's highly possible that rambling and gaming houses will never be thoroughly done away with in this country. It will take, at least, a quarter of an hour for a body of police to gain admittance to any of the hells ; the street door Is double chained and bolted, and when that is forced, there is a passage door of solid iron, and sometimes two to break open ; consequently, long ere this is done, every implement of gaming is destroyed. C. G. ( Newcastle on Tyne)— Your letter of the 29th of January, which did not arrive till after the No. was at press, is before us; a most ridiculous mistake occurred with your copy at the printing office, which w © will ex- plain anon. SOME person who has sent us two riddles, one upon ' a candle,' and the other ' a raddish,' must write plainer, and give something like a legible signature. TRUE BLUE ( Bristol)— It's a most dangerous thing to lark with ; we remem- ber two, young fellows wko were transported for administering it; besides, in eleven cases out of twelve, it has quite an opposite effect to that you desire. " With respect to your other observation, we wish to be onlthe right Bide of the hedge. ' The confessions of a Pickpocket' respecting the continuance of which numerous correspondents have written, were from the pen of an old Bow- street officer, who is at present in New York, and were founded on facts ; we have some of the Manuscripts by us, but the tale was discontinued by reason of several correspondents objecting lo it. It cannot now, however, be resumed, until at least ' The Mysteries ef Love,' or ' Modest Martha' is concluded, as our space willnot permit of three continuous tales. R. N. B. ( Manchester)— Neither ' Woman's Wit,' or ' The man that had no Whiskers,' are of the slightest UBe to us. WOLFE ( Blackburn).— The joke would not be seen by the majority of our readers. OLD BLOKE.— If we follow your suggestions we should be indicted in a week. It is easier, however, to be a great critic than a tolerable performer; but perhaps you would like a Town made expressly for YOURSELF. Learn, old fellow, we have been too long at the game to cater for the amusement of one at the expense of all the rest. INQUIRER ( Liverpool).— Yes, for both— if accompanied with copious lavings to the part. A SIMPLETON.— Vours is not tin uncommon case ; we know dozens at your age similarly affected, and we receive twenty letters every week upon the subject; where, however; will a lutter reach you 1 at we could not advise as to the lady otherwise than privately. i 9; M. T. ( Worcefier)- I's b mistake which yoU will find remedied* PRIVATE HINTS ON ALL SECRET DISEASES, Generative Weakness, aud Nervous Debility, with plain directions lor cure, price 6d., post free, 8d. By H. WALTON, M. D., M. R. C. S., & c., who may be confidentially consulted ( without a fee) lrom8a, m. to 10 p. m. daily, at his residence, No. 56, Great Queen Street, Lincoln's Inn Fields. Letters promptly attended to, and inviolable secrecy observed. N. B. Recent case, of Disease perfectly cured within a week, Seminal Weakness in a month.— Medicine suitable to the symptoms sent to all parts ( sub rosa). THE CONFESSIONS a picture of fashionable passion and seduction. OF A LADY'S MAID; Price 3s. 6d. post free. JUST REPRINTED- SECRETS FOR YOUNG MEN, SINGLE MEN, AND MARRIED MEN ; giving a description, by which all diseases may be cured without medical aid, " This is a useful little work, and should be read by every Englishman. " Old Bell's Weekly Messenger." THE SWELL'S NIGHT GUIDE through London, Edited by the Lord Cm1^ ERIES0F ^ US- Lessons of Love-, or, the Adventures of Kitty Pry— five plates, 4s. 8d., post free. , WOMAN of PLEASURE, coloured plates, 5e. 6d., post tree. ™ AE EXYQUIFS^, t¥ i.?: ^ O^ buinea each, or Three Volumes, TGENE&( » WO& N, Sixty- three coloured Engravings, post '" MEMOIRS OF MISSF H , coloured plates, postfree, 5s. 6d. PHYSIOLOGY OF MAN, coloured Plates, post free, Ss, TH R SILENT FRIEND, Twenty- six coloured Plates, post free, 3s. ARISTOTLE'S CELEBRATED MASTER- PIECE, 8s. 6d.. HARRIETT WILSON, 5s. 6d. post iree. AMOURS OF LORD BYRON, 4s. 6d. post free. THE SECRETS OF NATURE Revealed, 2s. 6d. post free.) COAL- HOLE SONGSTERS, Is. each, post free. LESSONS FOR LOVERS, only 3s., post free; originally published at RACHFLOR'S ALBUM, ten splendid coloured plates, post free, 2s. Od. TIT BITS FOR GENTLEMEN, six racy plates, a la Frangais, post fr BEFORE AND AFTER, two beautiful plates, from Hogarth, M., post free. THE MEDICAL ADVISER, by Dr. De Roos, coloured plates, . price 2s. 6d post free,-" The best work on the subjecf'- Public Press. r Stamps taken as Cash. Catalogues sent per post, o » receipt of two stamps. T. Hicks, 34, Holywell- street, Strand. T. H. will not be responsible for any Works directed to be sent to Post Office Printed and published by W. WINN, 34, Holywell- street, Strand, where all comCfcaCis'Tre to be addressed Sold « t all Bookseller., Railway Stations, Bn « Steam Boat Piers. [ EHTEKBD AT STATIONERS' COBKX.] A LOIVDOM XIGIST WINE ROOM. THE VEGETARIAN DODGE. The recent stir made by the police against the proprietors of these places, have in London drawn more than usual attention to) them. Our artist has given a capital sketch of one of these places, the figures being all likenesses, tha man upon the table is well know at Bignell's, and the Piccadilly Saloon, as fast Charley; he is> great patronizer of the little cigar shop a few doors from the Argyll Rooms, and [ the female who is drinking with him is the notorious Long Charlotte Davis, alias Murray, alias Evans, alias ^ larcarthy,— for she is known by all of these names, and boasts of having at one time lived with Louis Napoleon. The figure in the shawl is a young lady well know at Mrs. White's, Tottenham- street. The man in the back ground is a son of Phillips of the Victoria, Leicester Square, whilst the elderly gentleman, ig Captain S , of the Guards. By the time we are at press, the question will be decided as to the power the police possess of interfering with those places, it; would, therefore, at the present juncture, be im- proper to say further upon the matter. BUTCHER BOY.— Bust [ my breeches, Billy, how jolly scraggy you get. BILLY.— So would you get scraggy, my tulip, if your father vos a Wedghetearian. BUTCHER BOY.— Vot's that ? BILLY.— Vy, he has left off taking meat, and takes a carrot. BUTCHAR BOY.— Then, no vunder y'er thin, your nothing but bone and vegetable marrow !