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Figaro In London

26/12/1835

Printer / Publisher: W. Strange 
Volume Number:     Issue Number: 212
No Pages: 4
 
 
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Figaro In London

Date of Article: 26/12/1835
Printer / Publisher: W. Strange 
Address: 21, Paternoster Row
Volume Number:     Issue Number: 212
No Pages: 4
Sourced from Dealer? No
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FIGARO 1W LOMDOI. Satire should like a polish'd raxor keen. Wound with a touch that's scarcely felt or SEWW- LADY MONTAGUE. " Political P& stfuinades and Political Caricatures are parts ( thoueh humble ones,) of Political History. Thev supply information as to the person and habits often as to the motives and objects of public men, which cannot be found elsewhere."— CROKER'S NEW WHIG GUIDE. No. 212, SATURDAY, DECEMBER 26, 1835. Price One Penny BOXING DAT. Everybody is well aware of the beauties of what is called Box- ing- day. It is, as the world well knows, a grand occasion for swindling people out of their money, under the delicious pretext that, because it is the season of festivity, it ought also to be the season of roguery. Everybody wants a Christmas- box, though, if we were asked for such a thing, we should postpone our bountv un- til the first of January, and give, instead of a Christmas- box, a box on the y- ear, which would be far more appropriate. However, though every individual may be pestered in his particular sphere for Christmas- boxes, yet we suspect there is no one who has so good a right to complain as poor John Bull, the general and long- established victim of every description of roguerv. Now John VOL. IV. has not only to contend with the pertinacities of bellmen, sweeps, lamplighters, sleepy Charlies, and regular dustmen— he has not got to listen merely to the solicitation^ of the true scavenger, or to the awful importunities of the six- year old proprietor of a Christmas piece, but he has to fight against the awful machinations, and the demands, rather than the solicitations, of all the cormorants of the state, and the whole troop of nasty, dirty, scavenger- like, and nightman- hearted gang of government underlings. Seymour, upon whom the present festive season acts like the laughing gas upon the human frame, seems to have worked himself up into such an exuberance of fancy, and such a force of satire, that he has drawn a tableau, which nothing but his own mind could conceive, nothing but his own pencil could illuminate. He has shewn the mighty Bull— mighty even in his degradation— standing at his door, while he is besieged and importuned by a train of beggarly parsons, soldiers, sailors; each anxious to pick his almost exhausted pocket, and noisily urging the plea of its being the po- litical boxing- day. These persons have succeeded for a series of years in taxing the liberality of John Bull, whose means they nearly exhaust, and then they go back to their haunts to riot in debauchery on that which poor John Bull has earned by industry, and hoarded with frugality. Seymour has, however, with a true touch of holy mother Nature, put into tho countenance of the tormented Bull an expression of repugnance to part with what he has got, and he has shewn in his features an evident disinclination to continue much longer an object of their incessant roguery. We have no doubt that by the time the political boxing- day comes round again, they will find John Bull prepared to meet them in a manner rather more suited to the occasion ; and he may perhaps be found disposed to make it a boxing- day in real earnest. We are quite sure if John would only shew a little wholesome resist- ance to the besiegers of his pocket, he would find that the attacks would become less and less frequent, for there is nothing like a little determination, when it is necessary, to exterminate an enemy. We hope he will act upon the hint we have given him. W. Strange, 21, Paternoster Row. 212 FIGARO IN LONDON. 179 THE BULL- HEADED BENCH. Trouncing the magisterial bench is a pastime in which every honest mind must of necessity take a delight, for there is no class of persons who, by their combined folly and tyranny, lay them- selves, on all occasions, so completely open to castigation. How- ever, we do think, that never was the bench more thoroughly brought into abject contempt than by theconduct of one ofits mem- bers the other day, with referenceto a petty chargeof assault against Mr. Barnett, an actor at the Adelphi, or one of the metropolitan theatres. It seems that there had been some dispute between himself and wife, and it was admitted that no violence had been used; but the wife, in a hasty moment, had charged the husband with the assault, but in her cooler moments did not think of appear- ing to press forj judgment against him. Sir William Curtis, who inherits all the sagacity for which his father was so emi- nent, finding himself on the bench in his glory, and fancying himself somebody, resolves to have his official fling, and looking as grand as a peacock, with his tail curled, and his crest starched, proceeds to give what the magistrates, when speaking of their own proceedings, call judgment, but which is invariably remark- able for its utter want of that quality. Finding nobody to op- pose him, aud thinking that the only way a little thing may be of importance is by doing something great, whether it be great folly or great mischief, he don't care— so as great can be applied at all to the proceeding,— Curtis, we say, loudly pipes such a sen- tence as would have been ruin to Mr. Barnett, and then struts out of the court as consequentially as a male bantam, amidst the crowing of all the beadles and constables, who hop round the bench, like inferior chickens in the vicinity of a dung- hill.— However, the joke was too good. Mr. Barnett happened to have friends who interfered : if the case had been otherwise, the vic- tim must have been locked up without a word in the House of Correction, ruined and forgotten. But fortunately Mr. Barnett finds a friend to stir in his behalf. The magistrate is brought back: he is made to open the Court again— he is made to walk in again with all the attendant pomp of beadles and constables— he is made to give a fresh sentence, and he struts out again, still under the stupid delirium that he is a person of some consequence. Now, everyone but himself knows to the contrary. However, the mat- ter was hushed up in the Court, though we dare say the friends of the parties will take care every thing shall not be quiet out of it. THE SPANISH AUXILIARIES We cannot say thnt we ever had a very exalted opinion of the value of these heroes, whose military enthusiasm was fostered in the Isle of Dogs, off Greenwich, and we must also say that our loreign correspond- ence from Spain, which is of a most authentic nature, has not b^ en of a kind to raise the force in our humble estimation. Our friend Timothy Gully, who has occasionally dropped us a few lines, does not place his companions in arms in a much more favourable light than we were dis- posed to regard them in, but we see that the ' Times' correspondent has forwarded dispatches of such a nature, as to place the force in a li^' ht, if possible, even more contemptible than that in which we have been in the habit of regarding it. It seems from the Spanish news of the great Thun- derer, that every English regiment has a light Spanish corps attached to it, to prevent the auxiliaries being called into action on trifling occa- sions. This is what we call, in plain language, a devilish cunning idea; for while the English do the whole of the strutting about, the poor Spa- niards are forced to do the whole of the fighting. It is all excessively fine to call this sort of thing " saving them from trifling affairs," but we suspect, bayonets and cannon balls are the trijling affairs that the English auxiliaries are afraid of. Another grand measure of discipline is, allowing the troops to wear shoes instead of boots, on the plea, poor tender soles ( or souls), that. the boots hurt their feet. The fact is, these vagabonds have, for the most part, been in the habit of wearing nothing on their feet at all, and they are completely at sea when introduced to the unaccustomed luxury of decent shoe leather. There are exceptions, and we do not mean to bring the whole corps into contempt. Our ob servations only applying to that part of it which would rather face a Carlist than a Sheriff's officer, and has fled from the brink of a cognovit to the point of the bayonet. TWADDLE PROM FRANCE Though this country stands pre- eminent above all others for its love of stupid scandal and idle gossip, yet in other lands we some- times meet with an ardent thirst for the trifling style of twaddle that is so great a charac* eristic of an English newspaper. Our journals have been copying from those of Paris a little paragraph on the sub- ject of Morey, the accomplice of Fieschi, " who," say the French penny- a- liners, " has got his appetite, dresses himself, and walks about his room." Now, though it may be satisfactory, and even in- teresting to hear that a public criminal is safe, yet we cannot for the world see bow the public can be concerned in the extent of his appe- tite, or in the fact of his dressing himself, and walking about bis chamber. What can it matter to the public, whether Morey eats like a Newfoundland dog, drinks like a fish, or stuffs himself like an Alderman— so as the man is in custody, that is all the public has to do with him. Who cares whether he dresses himself, or prefers to sit all day in his robe de nuit, so that the authorities have him all right and tight, what can it signify ? then again, who cares whether he walks about his room or chooses to smoke in the chimney corner, so as he don't walk out of his room, the public would be perfectly satisfied. But penny- a- liners must live, in France, as well as in England. MORE SAGACITY Last week or so we noticed the absurdity of some fellows meeting in the parish of St. James's, seconding each other's resolutions, and at the same time declaring them to be, in their private opinion, utterly ridiculous. We forget the names of the worthies who then distinguished themselves by this anomalous method of proceeding, but a reference to last week's FIGARO will refresh the reader's memory. This week we have another brilliant specimen of the sagacity of the attendants at public meetings, for a Mr. Ewing comes into the City, red hot from the parish of St. James ( the seat, par excellence, of all folly), and proposes something or other, which nearly every one present seems to agree in thinking frightfully objectionable. Ewing, of course, persists, in spite of the general objec- tion, and a man named Saunders gets up to second it, saying he thinks it injudicious, and he shall certainly vote against it. This merely shews that these people attend public meelings not to do good, but to vote fresh resolutions, and last, though far from least, set their names in the papers as the patriotic dealers in this or that commodity. The fact is, these meetings are, many of them, nothing more or less than indirect advertisements. CITY AN A— No* 4 In consequence of the severe illness of our City reporter last week, we were prevented from presenting to our readers the customary intelli- gence in this department; but to obviate any accident for the future, Lord Copeland has, in the politest, manner imaginable, ordered Hobler to convey to us the following :— " Now, then," thundered forth Copeland, at the same time giving Hobler an officious wink, " Can you,'' he continued, " inform me what street Mr, Sheriff Salomons thinks of, when he wishes to avoid all con- versation on the subject of bis late turn out ?" As usual, Hobler was at a stand still. " Why, Alderman- bury, of course," replied the civic mo- narch. Hobler swallowed the chair of office, thinking he could be cool- ed by the horse- « 2> ( hair). " Can you inform me, why I am likely to be a longer inhabitant on mother earth than any other being?" en- quired the sagacious Copeland of his faithful follower; Hobler ven- tured to . say, " that the cause might be his being taller than anybody else." ' Cerfainly not," repliel the head, " but. because I am a man of Ware ( wear). Hobler impaled himself on tbe top of the toasting fork, for which rash act he was much rousted. FIGARO IN LONDON. 179 BREVITIES. A Good Plea A person was the other day selling beer without a license, and was threatened with an information, under the New Beer Act. " What ?" said he, " you can't touch me under the New Beer Act, for mine's all old beer — so I can laugh at you." The exciseman persevered, and the conviction took place in spite of the retailer's logic. The End and the Means Sir Francis Burden declares, in one of his epistles, that he has but one political end in view. We wish it was his own political end, which, by the bye, whether he sees it or not, we, can tell him is very fast approaching. Rather Unreasonable Mr. Pease has been making a long speech, which nobody seems to have relished. This is quite natural, for Peas just now are quite out of season. A Tap on the Head It seems that a hair- dresser, named Ravenscroft, lost 900 pounds in the year 1832 by the bishops discontinuing the use of wigs. We were not aware so much was to be got by the bishops altogether, but it is evident that the wigs are the most profitable portions of their hoiinesses. Striking a Balance Sir Francis Burdett objects to his being called to account for his con- duct. He has decidedly made himself a person of no account, THEATRICAL CRITICS. We are delighted— the Noodle in The New Bell's Messenger very properly feels hurt at the close shaving we have bestowed upon his twaddling and grossly partial theatrical criticism, if such affected rub- bish can be dignified by that name. He has also applied an epithet to us for which we are grateful. That he means us, we are certain : the cap fits so exceedingly well, that it never could have been intended for any other head than our own. He calls us " The Bug of the Press !"— " We thank thee, Jew,"— we are the BUG— the veritable Bag. For, is it not our vocation to drain the veins of that most bloated of all insects, HUMBUG ? And where does a greater humbug crawl between Heaven and earth than Noodle? Having favoured us with a name, we will quite po- litely return the compliment. " The New Bell's Messenger" shall henceforth be called " The Weekly Louse, or persevering Prig." For most assuredly does the louse infest the beads of all the leading Sunday papers. Let but the cranium of THE EXAMINER, or THE SPECTATOR, or THE WEEKLY DISPATCH, or THE SUNDAY TIMES, or any other ta- lented paper, put forth a leading article, or political letter, Louse imme- diately fastens upon it, and fills up the pages of his own otherwise contemptible journal wiih its essence; thus most indisputably earning his name of PRIG and LOUSE. The death of Cobbett, and consequent loss of his head, must have been a sad bereavement for the louse : three or four columns from THE POLITICAL REGISTER every Sunday was a pretty decent specimen of priggery. The excellent leaders of The Examiner, the political gems of The Spectator, the powerful letters of Publicola in The Dispatch, which must cost the proprietors oi" those periodicals considerable sums to obtain, are filched every week by this persevering prig. The Hygeist doctor and his paid- for columns, are ano- ther wonderful help for Louse : indeed, but for such assistance, he would very soon be THF. WEAKLY LOUSE, and with difficulty skip from Sun- day to Sunday. He wishes to know who w « are— the information will cheerfully be given at our place of publication. We may, when in the vein, favor our thousands of readers with Noodle's birth, parentage, education (?), character, and behaviour, but as such a document is not published till after a criminal's execution, we shall defer it, till the trial of Louse is over, and he shall have suffered the extreme penalty of our law. For the present, we leave him to get his daily bread in the natural manner of the mean animal to which he is now proved to belong. « THEATRICALS. The whole town is now on the qui vive for the pantomimes ; this being the festive and agreeable season of drunken men, turkeys, roast beef, sen- timental dustmen, with Christmas copies of verses, and all the other agre- mens that are necessary to give a full idea of the general cheerfulness.— At Covent Garden the advertised subject of their pantomime is ' Guy Fawkes, or the Fifth of November;' and from the mean way in which the management has been all along proceeding, we have no doubt that their Fawkes will be a regular Guy, and such a one as will get a good blowing up from every one. We understand that Osbaldiston himself will play Guy Fawkes ; and it is expected that, from his peculiar resources, the managers will be enabled to get hold of the identical ha'porth of matches that was to have sent the whole Parliament to perdition on the night of the original gunpowder treason. We understand that it is the intention of Bunn to give a most awful crush to Covent Garden by bringing out the ' Bronze Horse' in grand style at Christmas, and that lie means to play it with ' The Jewess' and the Pantomime; thus giving a concentration of attractions that it will be hopeless of Osbaldiston and Co. to attempt to rival. We believe that every one is determined to support Bunn in liis grand and patriotic effort to keep the National Theatre respectable. When the ' Bronze Horse' is done with a strong operatic cast, we should imagine it would not be heard of again at Covent Garden, for there it is nothing more than Fitzballiana, with arrangements by Itodwell of about twenty notes of Auber's music, and an extensive inundation of his own. Mr. Braham's Theatre in King- street, St. James's, opened on Monday, the 14th, but as we could not obtain a comfortable place, we did nothing more in our last than print the address, and took time to see and give our opinion upon the performances. The house, which is certainly the most beautiful in Europe, opened with a new opera, called ' Agnes Ssrel.' The music is by Mrs. G, a'Beckett, and we are happy to be able to speak of it in terms of the highest praise. It is of that school in which it has been said our native composers are unable to compete with the Italians, but the success of Mrs. a'Beckett's opera, coming close on the heels of that by Mr. Balfe, just proves that we can. In ' Agnes Sorel,' the great fault is the length of some of the pieces, but we are inclined to overlook this in a young, and especially a female composer, for it is the privilege of the fair sex to run on at a greater rate than is always agreeable. It is like- wise a fault that can easily be corrected ; and we do not feel inclined, by a word of unkind disparagement, to throw a damp on genius which will, we predict, one day accomplish much for the musical reputation of this country. Mr. Braham played and sang with all the spirit of youth ; and, in fact, we never hear him without thinking with good- humoured contempt of all the Wilsons and Templetons in existence, for however good they may be in some things, they know as well as everybody knows that they cannot be mentioned in the same breath with Braham. Mr. Barker is a great acquisition : he is the next best tenor in London to his manager, and will one day be a tremendous favourite. Miss Glossop made a most successful debut. She is very handsome, with a very fine voice and great musical acquirements. The other performers all did justice to their parts, particularly Stretton and Miss P. Horton. Two new farces fol- lowed, and were completely successful. The papers all seem to agree in saying that never did so many novelties, including the new theatre, give on the same night so much satisfaction. At the Olympic things have been going on prosperously, though Ves- tris's indisposition has been somewhat of a drawback to the usual pros- perity of the establishment. She lias, however, recovered, and so has Liston, and therefore her force is as great now as it ever used to be. The debut of Mr. Charles Mathews has been successfully followed up by his assumption of a part in ' Too Late for Dinner,' which he acted, if without all the finish and experience that Wrench could give it, at least with more talent than any other actor could have brought, to bear upon it. On Mon- day we witnessed a newburletta, called ' Barbers at Court,' from the pen of Mr. Mayhew, we believe ; and though extremely good, we do not think 214 FIGARO IN LONDON. it quite equal to the ' Wandering Minstrel,' which is, we understand, by the same gentleman. It is, however, not of so broad a description, but it is excessively humorous, and gives good scope for the exercise of the abilities of Keeley and Liston. It was, as it well deserved to be, quite successful. The Christmas piece at Vestris's is advertised under the title of the ' Olympic Pic- nic,' and is from the pen of S. Lover, Esq., who has supplanted Mr. Charles Dance, who formerly did the classical doggerel for Madame Vestris. Since his dismissal, Mr. Lover has produced some very pretty burlettas, so that we cannot help thinking the public has gained by the discharge of the former. We have no doubt the ' Olympic Pic- nic' will succeed, and we shall keep our eye upon the Athenaeum to detect any illiberality. Dance will know what is meant; but, fortunately for Mr. Lover, if his piece be successful, not all the heavy stupidity of the Asi- NEUM, as Bulwer has christened it, can affect the success of it. Preparations seem to be going on in all directions for the Christmas pieces. The Adelphi has announced a spectacle and a pantomime. We have not heard any thing named as in preparation for Mr. Braham's thea- tre. Possibly there has been no time, but we think a little extra activity would not have been thrown away in keeping pace with the other establish- ments. Probably the proprietor calculates on his first success, but in theatrical affairs there cannot be too much activity. Mitchell is a first- rate hand at getting up spectacles. We should expect great things from a pantomime under his direction. At the Adelphi, Selby has produced a new farce, called ' The Widow's Victim.' It has been successful, but is not quite equal to his other pro- ductions. Jerrold's new piece, ' Doves in a Cage,' is quite a hit. The scene is laid in the Fleet— we should have thought this rather too confined a field, and one that a dramatist, above all other persons, would instinc- tively have avoided. He has, however, done a great deal within a very contracted compass. The acting of Mrs. Nisbett and Wrench deserves especial notice. Buckstone's ' Dream at Sea' keeps every one awake, and the proprietor was evidently not at Sea when the lucky thought entered his brain of producing it. The Surrey and Victoria have both advertised pantomimes, and there can be no doubt in the world that the approaching Christmas will be one of the greatest theatrical excitement that has been known since the cele- brated boxing- night on which Garrick played Pantaloon to John Kemble's Harlequin. The Queen's is about to open under Mrs. Nisbett's management. The company seems, as the song says, " werry respectable." TO CORRESPONDENTS. Mr. Strange has published Mr. T. H. Bayly's farce of ' A Gentleman in Difficulties," uniform with the neat edition of Buckstone's Dramas. We think these publications both excellently got up ; and now that the . price is reduced, they form the cheapest as> well as the best edition of the modern acting drama. We shall be happy to hear again from " THETA," but to ensure his communication coming to hand he must be good enough to pay the postage. ADVERTISEMENTS. On the First of January next will appear, price Twopence, printed on a large sheet of fine paper, hotpressed, No. 1 of SEYMOUR'S COMIC SCRAP- SHEET. *,* Country Booksellers are requested to send their Orders imme- diately to their Loudon Agents. FUN AND INFORMATION ! ! ! FI G A R O ' S COMIC A L M A N A C K, for 1836, Contains, in addition to SEVENTEEN CUTS by SEYMOUR, all the useful Information contained in other Almanacks.— Price Twopence. BUCKSTONE'S DRAMAS, SECOND EDITION. " I^ HE DREAM AT SEA," as performing with unbounded ap- plause at the Adelphi, is now published Price Sixpence. The first and second volumes of Buckstone's D amas are now ready, price 7s. each, bound in cloth, which contains the following Plays:— Wreck Ashore— Victorine— May Queen— Henriette, the Forsaken— Rural Felicity— Pet of the Petticoats— Married Life— The Rake and bis Pupil— The Christening ( with a splendid Portrait of the Author ftom a painting by M'Clise)— Isabelle ; or, Woman's Love— Second Thoughts — The Scholar. The above may be had separately, price Is. each. AGNES DE VERE will be ready in a few days, price 6d. Just published ( printed uniform w ith Buckstone's Plays), price Sixpence, AGENTLEMAN IN DIFFICULTIES: an entirely original Farce', by Thomas Haynes Bavly ; and thefollowing, by the same Author, are in the press, and will shortly be published:— Comfortable Service— The Daughter— How do you Manage ?— Whv don't she Marry ? Published by W. STRANGE, No. 21, Paternoster Row ; and Sold by W," kelin, late Cleave, 1, Shoe- lane, Fleet Street: No. 18, Commeicial Place Citv Road - No. 126, Strand; Purkess, Compton Street, Soho; Lewis, Manchester; Cooper Birming- ham ; Mrs. Mann, Leeds; Heywood, Manchester; 13, Strutton Ground, Westminster- G. Cowie, 13, Newcastle Street, Strand; and all Booksellers. UtANKS'S SPECIFIC SOLUTION of COPAIBA.— This Medicine has been extensively used in many of the Metropolitan Hospitals, and * n the practice of several distinguished members of the Me- dical Profession, as the most speedy and effectual remedy for the cure of all diseases— which are particularly described in the directions accompanying the Medicine of the Urinary Organs, it is perfectly innocent in its operation, and its eflft- cacy is verified by testimonials from the following, amongst several other eminent members of the profession. Joseph HenryGreen, Esq., F. R. S., one of the Council of the Royal College of Surgeons, Surgeon to St. Thomas's Hospital, and Professor of Surgery in King's College, Lon- on ; Bransby Cooper, Esq., F. R S . Surgeon to Guy's Hospital, and Lecturer on Anatomy, Sec. & c. William Hentsch, Esq., House Surgeon to the Free Hospi- tal, Greville street, Hatton garden, Alexander Tweedie, Esq. Surgeon to the free hospital, Greville- street, Hatton garden. This invaluable Medicine is prepared only by Geo. Franks Surgeon, 90. Blackfriars- road, and may be had of his agents, Barclay and Sons, Farring don- street, London— at the Medical Hall. 54, Lower Sackville street, Dublin— of J. and It. Raimes, Leith walk. Edinburgh— and of all wholesale and retail Patent Medicine Ven- ders in the United Kingdom. Sold in bottles at 2s 9d., 4s 6d., and Its each, duty included. Caution — To prevent imposition, the Hon. Commissioners of Stamps have directed the name o " Geo. Franks, Blackfriars- road," to be engraven on the Government Stamp. N. 11 The Medical Profession, Hospitals, and other Medical Charities, supplied as' usual rom the proprietor. F'i FINE BEAVER HATS, 14s. 6d. RANKS and Co. have two large Lots of Fine BEAVER HATS, the whole of Modern Shapes and Superior Colours, which they offer to Gentlemen at the Low Price of I4s. 6d. BEAVER BONNETS. FRANKS and Co. have finished a larjje quantity of superior BEAVER BONNETS & HATS for Children, and respectfully soliett the attention of Ladies thereto. The Shapes for the approaching Winter are extremely becoming, and Prices very low The Largest and Cheapest Stock of HATS, CAPS 4 BONNETS in the United Kingdom, ROBERT FRANKS AND Co., West— 140. Regent Street. London East— I, Finsbury Square. City— 62, Red Cross Street, Barbican. P r i n t e d and Published ( for the Proprietor) by W. STRANGE, 21 . P A T E R N O S T E R ROW.
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