IN LOMIOM. Satire should iike a polish'd razor kee;,. Wound with a touch that's scarcely felt 01 » I « B. » , LADV MONTAGUE. " Political Pasquinades and Political Caricatures are parts ( though humble ones,) of Political History. Tliev supplv information as to the person and Unbits often as to the motives and objects of public men, which cannot be found elsewhere."— CROKER'S NEW WHIG GUIDE. 207. SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 21, 1835. Price One Penny while the grand Guy in chief has out- guyed all former Guvs, and has turned out to be the most extraordinary Guy that ever wore red lead upon his chops, or figured in seedv black inexpressibles. Eldon has been once the favourite Gtiy, and his solemn physiog- nomy made him a most efficient one. His worn- out black coat, his threadbare black shorts, his terrific eyebrows, and unwieldy probos- cis, all contributed to render him a Guy of the very first order. He flourished in the character for many years, and was punctually blown up amid more squibs than were ever fired off at any other Guy who preceded him. At length, however, the terrific shell of Reform being placed under him, blew him to atoms, and the poor old Guy was never able to appear in public afterwards. Welling- ton has been, occasionally, the popular Guy of the season, and in that character always had a precious lot of Waterloo crackers ap- pended to his tail, with which he continued to act rather a brilliant figure, till at last in the grand bonfire made of Old Sarum, and a few other chips of the old block of corruption, he was thoroughly consumed, and has never since that time been worth the trouble of making a public Guy of. Our delicate friend Brougham, more generally known as the Guy Vaux, figured for a brief season in the before- mentioned character, but he acted the part rather too natu- rally, and was always for blowing up the Parliament in reality, so that he was thought to be ( in the words of the Princess Victoria,) rather " a dangerous customer." He was consequently called upon to resign the part of Guy, which he was enacting rather too much to the life, with a set of positively inflammable matches, in the shape of pamphlets, and the Penny Magazine, by way of a dark lanthorn. He was thought to be an excellent Guy to carry about, but for any other purposes, he was considered truly dangerous, and having therefore been huzzaed for a short time by half the dirty little boys in the country, he was upset out of his chair, and left to the mercy of the passengers. But perhaps of all Guys, the most tremendous Guy, and the Guy that no other Guy could ever parallel, is the great Guy of the city, — the terrific, the towering, the terrible, and the triumphant Win- chester ! He is, par excellence, the greatest Guy in the world, and W. Strange, 21, Paternoster Row. EVERY year, at about the present, season the world goes Guy- mad, and a gout for the celebration of the gunpowder- plot agitates the hitherto tranquil bosom of a nation now worked up into a ter- rific admiration for squibs, crackers, Catherine wheels, Congreve rockets, Jacks in the boxes, and Roman candles. However, though Guys at this period of the year are as common as blackberries at Michaelmas, or as redberries at Christmas, yet there is always one grand leading Guy— one most supereminent mountebank, who takes the lead above all other Guys and all other mountebanks. Each season has its principal Guy, as every theatre, from Drury Lane, to the smallest barn in Christendom, has its principal actor, leading cut- throat, first thief, or head scaramouch. The Guys have been this vear quite as numerous as usual, and quite as grotesque ; VOL. IV. f FIGARO IN LONDON. 192 his whole soul, as well as his whole body, seems to have suited him naturally for the character. But every Lord Mayor for the time being, fills the character of a Guy ; he is dressed up in any finery that can be got cheap in the city; he is thrust into a grand chair for the occasion, and is carried about on all public occasions, as a sight, and an exhibition for the vulgar eyes of the citizens. Win- chester has been, of all men in the world, the very best adapted for this peculiar position— for, being by nature merely a block, he has of course been the very thing to be a pliant instrument in the hands of more active mountebanks. He has, on all occasions, con- sented to allow himself to be stuffed and thrust into all kinds of dresses, and carried about on all sorts of occasions, to all sorts of places by all sorts 06 characters. Being quite a Guy after their own heart, he has ever had such men as Peel and Wellington to carry him about, and they have always been ready to give him a ride, just for the fun of the thing, whenever he has felt inclined for it. But it was not to be expected that two such racketty and un- certain characters could be very long depended upon, and they tip- ped him over, and let him go down on the grand city Guy Vaux day, which is the ninth of November, instead of the fifth, and we will be bound to say that the old Guv will never get up again. Seymour, whose pencil gets more pointed by use, as a carving- knife at a twopenny ordinary gets sharper by sharp practice, has given a fine illustration of Winchester's fate, which we recommend to the consideration of all cockney Guys, past, future, and present. WINCHESTERIANA. No. 11. This is the last number that we shall give of Winchesteriana, for he ( the hero of this pleasant series), has breathed his official last. Like Cato, he is done up; and, like the wise Cincinnatus, he is floored entirely. However, the old bov, in expiring, has published a Book, called Mems. of my Mayoralty, which will give a lasting impression of the mind of the cockney monarch. His style combines all the graces of the old Egyptian hierogly- phic, with the playful gambols of the St. Giles's Greek. Fvery body ought to buy it, and read it. We insist on every body doing so. INTERPRETER. Good Evans. The Court Constitution says, that when the Royal Tar having recruits on board for the service of the Queen of Spain, was about to sail for Spain last week. Mr. Coleman, a tailor, and Mr. Rigley. a shoemaker, w ot on board for the purpose of trying to procure payment for articles furnished to the men, but were met with a flat refusal to pay, and the ship having been got under weigh, Mr. Rigley considered himself fortunate in being permitted to go on shore. Mr. Coleman, it is stated, was not so lucky, for having become ill by the motion of the vessel, he had gone into the cabin, and was carried off to sea.— Times, of Wednesday. We never thought that the Spanish expedition was overburden- ed with cash, in spite of the gold fringe and blue superfine of Evans's own private surtout, for as he was the head of the gang, and has something of his own, it was but right he, at least, should look respectable. But the coolest thing we ever heard of is, the above related treatment of two poor tradesmen, a tailor and shoe- maker, who had been fools enough to fit out some of the heroes of the Charing Cross Map Shop. The moment a creditor was seen on board, a file of infantry was called out, and fired off'— not their muskets, but a grand volley of abuse, which frightened one of the creditors quite away, and so alarmed the other that he fell down and was not able to get up again. The Spanish auxiliaries seem determined to listen to no terms, from any party, and 011 being asked to pay their just debts, made a bold au< J vigorous resistance. This is military we suppose, for it certainly cannot be called civil. We wonder how the poor shoemaker likes joining the ex- pedition, for they seem with a spirit of justice to have determined that he and his money shall not be separated, and have carried off both together accordingly. There was a dinner the other dar given by the friends of the cause in London. It must be easy work to give dinners, when the mode of settling accounts seems so very summary. Amiable News. Beranger the poet is living in great seclusion near Foutainbleau. lie has two maiden aunts residing with him. His manners are very unpre- tending, and it is added iliat he mixes very little 111 societ).— Globe. We certainly are fond of anecdotes of illustrious men, but we are not advocates for twaddle about any body. Now the above is rather twaddling, tor though it is interesting to know that Beranger lives in a retired manner, there is no occasion to cata- logue his two maiden aunts, and chronicle his gaucherie. Then again, we don't see what the world has to do with the fact of his liking- ardent spirits neat, which of course is the interpre- tation of the phrase that he never mixes in society. We can't help thinking that there is a good deal of twaddle in the paragraph. PROLONGING TIME. Some people complain very much of the celerity of the flight of Time, and there are many who would most willingly chain the old fellow by the leg and prevent his cutting away at such a pace as he does in general. For instance Winchester, whose dignity was only for a year, and no more, besides a variety of other dogs, who have their day and have done with it, would g've their ears, heads, and all, to make Time go slower during the period of their temporary greatness. We, however, can give a recipe, extraordinary as it is valuable ; we have hit upon an expedient for arresting Time, a thing that not all the delicate grasps of a Davis, nor all the accomplished seizures of a Rut- land, nor the decisive and vulgar clutches of a Levy, could succeed in achieving. We have found the means of doing this, and we recommend it to all such poor official Jacks as Lord Mayors, and parish vestrymen. If they want the time of their autho- rity doubled, let them employ themselves in reading a copy of the parliamentary reporter, whose speeches are printed just as they are spoken. If that don't make Time appear double we'll forfeit our golden walking stick. DINNER AT BRISTOL. Lord John has been round the country and has picked up a breakfast here, a luncheon there, and a dinner almost everywhere. Lord John Russell has got every thing he wanted for the present, which is plenty to eat and drink, and lie has given speeches in abundance in return for the luxuries bestowed upon him. His proceedings at Bristol have been characteristic. He has been spouting liberality by the yard, which serves to fill the newspapers in this dull time, and to assist in proving to slie pubiic what complete dupes they have been to Whig artifice. ANTIQUITY. His majesty has been pleased to appoint Sir Andrew Barnard Knight, a fellow of the Antiquarian Society, and a devilish good fellow, too, according to the chaste phraseology ol his most Christian majesty. The first task set him by the king was to discover the origin of ttie phrase Go it my pi/ tpin. Barnard has thus solved the problem— lie says that the apple, which by falling discovered theL theory of gravita FIGARO IN tien, was a Ripstone pipp. n, and the great philosopher, intheextacy of the moment, called out, " go it my pippin"— a phrase which has been held in high estimation ever since, llis majesty is delighted with Ber- nard's discovery, and has caused him to be dubbed first knight of the new order of the apple stall. BREVITIES. At Home. The Duke of Cumberland being abroad has the effect of making those who were bored with his society feel considerably more at home. Write and Wrong, A letter from Lyons speaks of the arrival of a Carlist general, who had surrendered. When Winchester heard of the fact, he exclaimed, " A letter from Lyons! well, it's the fust time I ever heard that Lions could write." Farther than ever. The Globe says that Lord Stowell is father of the House of Peers. If so, h's Lordship has a precious progeny. We think Lord Eldon, who is the next in age, ought to be called the mother of the Peerage. Rather hot work. A fever broke out at Wentworth House soon afrer the Princess Vic- toria had visited it. Had it been at her uncle of Cumberland's, we should not have w ondered at the fever, for he makes every place too hot to h° ld him. A Bad Joke. The Lord Mayor has been offering a reward for an Essay upon the Life of Offa, King of Murcia. The citizens say the offer and the King Offa are equally magnificent. Well Bred. It seems that somebody has discovered some rocks which are eatable. We don't like the idea of having the cliffs of old England cut up into bread and butter, though, at least, the fact shews that the gentleman was not so much out as the Tower of Babel, who, on being asked for bread, brought a stone. Bad Again. Winchester hearing Hobler, the other day, read in the paper an anecdote of Hunt ( the blacking- man) stopping a member from coughing him down by a repartee. " Cougfting him down," said Winchester; " as it related to that, you should not call it a Repar- tea but a Repar- caffee." Hobler fell on his right whisker. THEATRICALS. Drury Lane was on Monday night the scene of a grand triumph over its vulgar rival, and shon « forth in all the pomp and splendour of such a production as never yet was seen upon the English stage. The bringing out of the ' Jewess" was a grand coup on the part of Bunn, and has utterly given the go- by to the cheap and nasty shop. Planche, who is always up to his very neck in the paste tub, has been the scissors man upon this occasion— and has at last done his duty with that adamantine adherence to the first principles of paste and foolscap which has so long, not to say so honourably distinguished him. He has m ule of Scribe's tlive a very interesting Jewess, and has most judiciously sent the music of Hallery, where it ought to have been sent when it was first produced in Paris— to the devil. To speak in our customary lenient manner, the music would have disgraced the penny whistle of the vagabond child in the public LONDON. 179 streets, and is not capable of being done any thing with even by the effec- tive Drury Lane orchestra. However, we must not visit this too severely upon the original composer ; for we see by the bills that Tom Cooke has had a hand in it, and we know that he is a Cook who makes a precious hath of every thing. Bunn did quite right ill knocking out the music, which was so frightfully bad, that the horses in going their rounds gave a decided kick at Tom Cooke's head, which might have been fatal, as the newspapers say, if it had not proved otherwise. On the whole, Bunn rested his dependence on his getting up of the piece, which was splendid in the extreme from King's brass down to old Chippendale's worsted stockings. The procession round the pit was very near proving rather a serious affa'r, for the horse who came on first evidently was very much disinclined to proceed, and wanted to set himself comfortably down in the front row of the pit, by the side of a lady in a muff, and a gentleman in spectacles. Whether the horse wished to throw up his part we cannot of course decide, but he carefully began by throwing up his hinder part in a way that astonished the first low— who doubtless thought that when a performer wishes to throw up his part he should confine such throwing up to the immediate presence of the stage manager. Some people think the horse wanted to look at the procession from the pit, some think he was shy ( certainly he shyed) at appearing before so large an audience, while others think that the music being so terrifically bad, he would have jumped to Jericho rather than have remained so near the orchestra. Be it as it may, the animal we belijve received his discharge the moment the piece Was over, and was informed that he could not be permitted to kick up a row, and especially a front row, in that theatre. The wardrobe is very magnificent, but we don't see the fun of sending four boys 011 to the stage with legs of one colour and arms of another, sewed, as if by acci- dent, into their dresses. Some of the people applauded, some laughed, and some hissed, but the whole house seemed to agree that there was scope for a sensation of some kind, and consequently various were the emotions that resulted from the tailors' accident. The acting of Ellen Tree and Vundenhoff was extremely good, and they were both called for, like a couple of parcels at a booking- ofiice. Miss Forde made a wretched thing of her singing, but there was something like a wholesome flicker in her acting, sufficient to rescue her from total obscurity. Cooper looked splendid in his new part, and made the most of it. He acted as he always does, very respectably, and worked up as he was by occasional fits of passion in his part, he gave a beautiful turn now and then towards the scene shifters, and we thought we heard a faint damn murmur through his lips at occasional intervals. Warde acted well, while Giubilei and Seguin gave as much effect as possible to a couple of curses upon the tribe of Jews, which two curses, by the bye, were not worth two damns, if we may be allowed to write in vulgar phraseology. The thing, however, was extremely successful, and will, we have no doubt, run throughout the whole season till Christmas. Covent Garden is finding its level as fast as possible, and has at length got down to an ebb so shamefully low that it is out of all. human possi- biliiy to bring it up again. There has been nothing going on but the worst and most degrading species of performances— in fact the whole press, without one exception, have resolved very properly 011 crushing the present disreputable management of this es; ablishnient. When we consider whom the persons are that now rule the doctrines of this house, we are moved with a most sincere compassion for the cause of the drama, and see, as far as Covent Garden is concerned, nothing but direct degra- dation, and ultimately a certain downfall. Power has now left, and Os- baldiston has been figuring away in ' Rob Roy,' to the total disgust even of his own particular adherents in the sixpenny gallery. His performance, which heaven preserve us from witnessing, is said to have been distin- guished by a low ruffianism and vulgar insipidity distressing to every one who happened to be unfortunate enough to witness it. However, as we presume Osbaldiston took the theatre to act in, we suppose he must be permitted to indulge in these gambols, though we doubt whether his pocket will be found deep enough to keep up the fun for a very consider- able period. However, perhaps the most atrocious thing that he has hitherto done, is the productiou of a piece by Dibdin Pitt, an affair that has been done over and over again at the Surrey, and which has exacted 214 FIGARO IN LONDON. the most abject contempt in the minds of all who have seen it. The cha- racters were sustained by Messrs. H. Wallack and the rest of the Stirrev- ites, who all seem to be exceedingly unpopular in their new quarters, and receive every night the hissings of a most noisy and vulgar audience. How this concern can ever hope to prosper under the present circumstances we are utterly at a loss to conceive, and we think Bunn is showing something like a very strong disposition to bring its prospects to a very summary finale. We find, since writing the above, that Osbaid'ston has actually- undertaken to perpetrate the part of Virginius, in Sheridan Knowles's play'of that name. We can scarcely regret this, for we, as true friends to the true interests of the drama, can only wish for the most speedy downfall of the present regime of the establishment. Osbaldiston is doing the thing as fast as possible, and we can only hope that the upset may be summary. The Adelphi has re- opened under Mrs. Nisbett's tnanagemeut, instead of young Mathews, and it re- opened on Monday with a transfer of some pieces and some performers from the Queen's, in Tottenham- street. We don't know what sort of a honse they had on the opening night, but we have no doubt that success will wait upon the exertions of the spirited proprietors. We really think something like an infusion of talent was wanted here, for there was scarcely a soul in the company worth more than fifteen shillings per week and his luncheon. We are happy to find that Buckstone has a piece forthcoming. It is his dramas that have made the theatre what it has been. We have been somewhat astonished by a bill put forward from the Adelphi Theatre, in which a number of female names are specified, of ( with one or two exceptions) very little note, and each coupled with a quality of very questionable character. Nisbett and novelty we have no objection to, nor to Murray and mirth, for Miss Murray may grin her very teeth out without it mattering to us one half atom ; this is an affair that rests entirely with the young lady's tatur trap— but Vincent and variety is a combination which savours to us very much of extreme indelicacy. Variety and any body else would not seein so strange an union; but when we know that Vincent's peculiar ideas are very much in favour of novelty of a peculiar kind, we think the announcement reflects as little good upon the lady herself as it does upon the manage- ment. The Times has indulged in some extremely severe remarks upon the hands into which this house has fallen, and the alleged purposes to which it is devoted by its present lessees; but we know nothing of the matter, and in fact, for our own parts, do not believe that either two- penny cribbage, fourpenny put, or any other game of chance is played upon the premises. In one word, we do not think it is made into a gambling house ( for that is what the Times means) and it does not follow, that because a supernumerary on the establishment was seen playing at dominoes, it does not, we say, follow from this that the theatre is used for gaming purposes. Madame Vestris is running rather a successful career, and is bringing out novelty upon novelty as fast as Phillpotts brings out lie upon he in his place in parliament. She has been doing something in the serious line with a very fair proportion of success; and Planche, who has had in another penn'orth of paste, is exceedingly busy over her Christmas piece. Charles Dance has, we believe, been once more into the fair lessee's good graces, and as soon as he can think of a few English names for characters in a French farce, he will go to woik with his dictionary and turn out a host of some kind which he will call original. This, however, is his business, not ours, though a little wholesome exposure is the finest thing possible. The Surrey is going it at an excellent rate, and the Parker Street Sub- scription Pavilion has been having full galleries at twopence each audi; or. ADVERTISEMENTS. TO CORRESPONDENTS. FIGARO'S COMIC ALMANACK comprising, in addition to the useful information usually given with other almanacks, 17 cuts by the inimitable SEYMOUR, still continues its triumphant career, and at the same low price— Twopence ! The trade may procure 104 copies for 10s. 8d. DEDICATED TO THE YOUNG MEN OF ENGLAND. Price only 2d. originally published at 4s. 6d. THE SPLENDID DRAMATIC POEM OF WAT TYLER, in Three Acts,. By R. Southey, Esq., Poet Laureate to his majesty. " Every lover of his species should make an effort to circulate this invaluable poem."— The Patriot. Also, price Twopence, The Vision of Judgment. By Lord Byron. Also, price Twopence, Cain, a Mystery. By Lord Byron. Wakelin, Shoe- lane, ( one door from Fleet- street), and by all Booksellers. Mansion- house, Nov. 9, 1835. MEMORANDUMS OF MY MAYORALTY. By Lord Win- chester, in the year 1835, Printed for Private Circulation amongst my friends. London: Re- printed for the benefit of the rising generation, and sold by all Booksellers. Price One Shilling. RPO MEDICAL STUDENTS— VV. 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