7 FIGARO IN LONDON. , Satire should like a polish'd razor keen, Wound with a touch that's scarcely felt or seen.— LADY MONTAGUE. " Political Pasquinades and Political Caricatures are parts ( though humble ones,) of Political History. Thev supply information as to the person and habits often as to the motives and objects of public men, which cannot be found elsewhere."— CROKER'S NEW WHIG GUIDE. No, 201. SATURDAY, OCTOBER 10, 1835. PRICE ° NE Penny perfluous. Every body knows that the political horizon has of late been awfully lit up by the brilliant bursting forth of a volcanic light from the Etna of enlightenment. There had been a long warning from the rumbling noise within, but no notice was taken of it by those whom it particularly threatened, until it burst out in all its tremendous glory over them. King William and Queen Adelaide, with all their courtiers, parasites, and political paupers, were sitting as usual in frightful indolence at the foot of the po- pular mountain, when a noise was heard from within, but as the same sounds had occurred frequently before, without any decided result, the poor fools beneath took no more notice than usual. As has been powerfully depicted in the opera of Masaniello, the court was revelling in riot, when, like a thunder- clap, the volcanic mat- ter that had been smouldering so long within the crater came rolling out upon them, completely overwhelming them with its violence. Such is the volcano that has burst over the heads of the Peers— such is the lava that will eventually swamp their holinesses the Bishops, and send the hereditary peerage floating and floun- dering to its native Pandemonium. But why should we dwell on description, and weaken with our pen what Seymour has made so strong with his magic pencil. We therefore leave the above scene to the calm contemplation of conservative courtiers, bigoted bish- ops, pampered peers, and cringing commoners. It will be a very wholesome subject of reflection to all of these classes of society. W. Strange, 21, Paternoster Row. THE POLITICAL ETNA. As in nature nothing is more awful than the volcano, so in po- litics nothing is more formidable than the bursting forth of the lava from some popular Etna, or some equally popular Vesuvius. Seymour, whose mind is ever on the stretch to drive the barbed arrow of commotion home into the bosoms of the politically vile — Seymour, we say, has sketched a scene of such Vesuvian splen- dour that comment on its meaning mav almost be said to be su- Vol. IV. 168 FIGARO IN LONDON. 179 INTERPRETER. Grandmother again. This poor old maniac, called by some the Morning Herald, but more commoidy known as my Grandmother, has been again at its old work of watching the stable- door after the horse is stolen. It sets up a howl on the subject of the? Insolvent Court being closed, but, with its usual dri- velling tardiness, it says not one word on the subject until the day after the thing is done, and it is too late for a remedy. The fact is, the old idiot knows that if it remonstrated on an event before it took place, it would shew its contemptible weakness, and betray the fact of its having no more influence than the braying of an ass, or the sturdy yell of a pa- rish dustman. Parish Patriots. We understand one of these fellows has boned the assets of the parish in which he had persuaded some busy fools to elect him as auditor. We are happy to find this is the case, for it will teach the parishes it is not every fellow who can spout about economy that ought to be treated with the money of the rate- payers. The new act which Hobhouse gave, but of which a few pettifogging lawyers claim the credit, is an extremely salu- tary measure, but it is only a judicious use of it that can guard the parishes against the harpy- like encroachment of a set of designing devils, whom a love of pot- house influence, and a natural tendency to rob and tyrannise over the poor, induce to thrust themselves into notoriety. A few of these fellows have, by bullying their tradesmen, got themselves shoved into the vestry, and we know an instance of one bad character, who, scouted by the reforming party, managed to creep in by dragging an industrious baker, vi et armis, out of his shop to vote for him. It is thus that many, pro- fessing themselves reformers, degrade the party they pin themselves to, though the party would kick them off with contempt, but for their leech like adhesiveness. When parish vestries are purged of these mischief- making, heartless, and pauper- starving wretches, they will, under the excellent reformed system, be respectable, saving the money of the parish judiciously, without incurring for its officers the stain of heartlessness and cruelty that their treatment of the poor, in many cases, now bring down upon them. WINCHESTERIAN A. No. 6. The following are a few riiems. from the private journal of this distin- guished mountebank:— Mem.— Railways are getting very numerous. This is the rale ( real) way of making money and travelling. Two methods of getting on in the world at once. This is what I call killing two swallows with one hand- ful of mud. " Mine shares are getting up," the papers say. If this is the case I wish the shares were mine: but they're not, damme, and, what's worse, they never will be. Mem.— You can't expect civility from an omnibus- cad, because it is his duty to take up his passengers very shortly, and give them a good setting down afterwards. ROYALTY AT RAMSGATE. The Duchess of Kent and the little Princess, have gone to Ramsgate to eat prawns for breakfast, walk about the sea- shore, pick up young crabs and old oyster shells. Leopold, formerly of Oxford street after- wards of Marlborough House, Pall Mall, and now King of Belgium, came over to see his sister, and brought with him his wife; but having no money to hire a carriage they were put into a Margate fly; but it was too shabby even for Leopold, and he accordingly got out of it, swearing he'd rather walk, than be jolted about in such an infernal machine as the fly alluded to. Leopold spends his time in selling things he has brought over duty free from his own country, and in the evening goes to the raffles, where he has already won an eight day clock, a large doll, and a backgammon board. The Queen of the Belgians plays at home by her- self all day, while Leopold walks about the town in a pair of Margate slippers, shaking hands with all the cockneys, and tossing up for tickets with all the blackguards at Johnny Bettison's library; the Duchess of Kent and the Princess Victoria bathing in the sea last Wednesday, an un- gallant wave carried them out to sea, threw them from off their royal legs, and caused them both to execute an unwilling and rather undignified somerset. They have expressed themselves thoroughly disgusted at the rudeness of the waves, and it is thought an address will be presented to Neptune, insisting on his paying more respect to royalty. If these folks remain longer at Ramsgate, we shall send a reporter down to the spot to furnish the public with all the private particulars of their sojourn. Leopold has already made in prizes alone at the bazaars, more than enough to pay the whole expenses of his visit. FOREIGN CORRESPONDENCE. CFrom our very own correspondent.) Spain. " DEAR FIGARO, " Things go on as. usual, or rather things go off as usual, that is to say, guns are popping about us in all directions. I suppose you know that the band have been disbanded, and has been sent back for a conspiracy, in which it seemed musician like, they were acting in concert. The medical department has at length come out, and in the ship which brought them, was such a cargo of pills, black- doses, boluses, magnesia, jalap, salts, senna, castor oil, and all the other nasty stuff to be got out of the shop of the apothecary. The moment it arrived, Snooks had a blue pill; I got a dose of salts, and the Chelsea rifles got all round a cup of camomile. I think we have all been better since we had the medicine. Jem Tomkins was guilty of tbe insubordination yesterday of treading on the Adjutant- General's great toe, where he had a corn. A Court Martial instantly sat upon it, ( not the corn, but the offence), and the evidence having been con- clusive, his punishment was decided to be a bolus every night and morn- ing until the end of the expedition. There has been some disturbance about the payment of the troops, and there is great doubt whether we shall get our money; Evans, however, changed a sovereign last night, so that we have yet confidence in the assets. Yours in trepidation, TIMOTHY GTJLLY. BREVITIES. What do they i' the North ? O'Connell is showing himself worthy of his land, so celebrated for po- tatoes. He is a fine specimen of a new kind of tatur, that is to say, the agi- tatur. Royal Learning, " I understand," said the King, " they are fishing for whales in Green- land. Now, upon my honour, tiiey must be precious fools to look for Wales in Greenland, when every body who understands geography, knows its next to England." Barnard prostrated himself in extacy upon a neighbouring ottoman. A Good Reason. Some persons wonder why the Duke of York is represented on his statue, looking away from the West end of the town. It is this little point which makes so perfect the resemblance, for every one knows his Royal Highness has turned his back upon his creditors. A Home Thrust. The foreign news of some of the papers, and of the Herald in particular, is often very properly so called, being, from its entire falsehood, wholly foreign to the subject. A Spirited Slap. I B tic The ruffian Carlos has made the Virgin Mary the generalissimo of his army. As the money is rather shy, he bad better appoint the Holy Ghost his paymaster. „ Ju- Epigram. IN FAVOUR OE AN EX- CHANCELLOR. n » Lyndhurst declares in loud tirade, He hates hypocrisy; His word I'll take— two of a trade Could never yet agree. FIGARO IN LONDON. 179 A- Stonishing Joke, It is thought to be rather unsatisfactory to the creditors of the Duke of York, to erect a statue to himself, and leave his debts in statu, quo. An Odd Stick. The devil is sometimes represented as riding on a broomstick. If so, we ought to beware of the late Chancellor Brougham ( Broom). Wide Awake. The Ramsgate people received Leopold in a public fly, showing by this cut at his meanness, that they were fly to his habits of parsimony. THEATRICALS. Drury Lane has opened with a lack of spirit, and with an expensive company, including, it must be acknowledged, most of the best artists in every department. Macready opened in ' Macbeth,' and the audience testified by repeated cheers their admiration of his performance. The play was, in other respects, as effectively cast as possible. The new farce of ' The Night Patrole' was as delicious a damn as one would wish to see in these days of stupid forbearances. ' The Night Patrole' is not now going his rounds, and during the few nights he did so every body seemed to think it was time to be asleep, and boxes, pit, and gallery went off with a comfortable snooze accordingly. We are sorry to find that Bunn, who has got a good musical company, should put it to so bad a use as the mutilation of poor Bellini's last opera, ' I Puritani.' This extraordinary task was to come rather too late in the week for us to notice it; but we are quite sure it would have answered Bunn's purpose better either to leave it altogether alone, or bring out the Puritani in all its purity. As to Covent Garden, we fear there is a wretched career in perspective for this ill- fated domestic building. Fitzballhas been employed on a hor- rible domestic, tyrannic, barbaric, devilish, blue- firish, brimstonic, sulphu- ric, Satanic, bombastic, and tragic drama, to be called HABGOOD OF HAVERSTOCK; OK, THE FATHER FIEND. In Act t will be embodied a frightful incantation, introducing some of the enormities of the father fiend— frightful oath, and awful preparations to outlive the whole of his children, and drinking of the mystic draught from the skull of the betrayed and murdered Sartarius. In Act 2 the father fiend will positively devour three of his daughters— scourging and shovelling of his heir- apparent— murders the rest of his family with a red- hot poker, having previously cut off all their hair with a blnnt carving knife— horrid option— heart sticking, or hair cutting— helplessness of the assaulted Emily. Act 3— Unmasking of the father fiend— horrible cringe at the approach of retribution, and snivelling but useless prayer— words by Fitzball, music by Itodwell— approach of conscience, and ghastly yellings of the father fiend— frightful solitude of the bad side ( Grieve and Sons), and arrival of Mephistophiles ( O. Smith)— shattering of the pallid bosom, and grasp of the shrivelled heart— shocking agony of Satan at finding he has mistaken a stone for a human heart— ghosts of the in- jured family— arrival of fiends— dance of devils— useless watch of the father fiend— convulsed plunge— he is hurried to Tartarus, and , GRAND TABLEAU 1 Such is the programme of the first production at Covent Garden, under the new minor management. The reduction of the prices at Covent Garden is a measure that, from its effects, must be considered important; otherwise the proceedings of the management would be a matter of no interest, owing to the very low pro- fessional rank of the parties into whose hands it has unfortunately fallen. But a piece of dirt may find its way into splendid machinery, and injure its hitherto perfect state— so also will disreputable management affect the hitherto high character of Covent Garden. The reduction of the prices, if resorted to, should have been tried by the proprietors themselves, and not left to the mercy of minor management. The thing can never pay. An actor, who goes to Covent Garden in its degraded state, only goes be- cause his talent would never have taken him there in its pure condition. Messrs. H. Wallack, Vale, and Rogers ( the two last favourites in their own sphere) have been seen to satiety for two shillings, one shilling, and for sixpence; who then will give four shillings now, or two shillings, or even one shilling, to see them where they are palpably out of their element. The Haymarket has closed upon a very unprofitable season, as it de- served to be. Poor old Morris has only brought out one new piece and a half during the whole season. The result is, as it ought to be, a failure. The only expense he has gone to in the getting up of his new pieces has been the sewing of a new button on the coat of the stage manager. This outlay, insignificant as it really is, has been the theme of unceasing regret on the part of Morrip ever since he was advised to go do it. Mr. Vining, the stage manager, gave a farewell growl to the public, in the shape of a valedictory address, in the course of which he talked of being ready again. to provide for the public entertainment. If he calls the proceedings of tlie last season entertaining, we think his notions of entertainment must be so novel as to warrant his publishing a treatise on the subject. Perhaps poor old Morris thought it fine fun to have to pay the salaries when the receipts were not five pounds per night, and to lose three hundred pounds a week with truly managerial magnanimity. The Surrey continues to prosper, but the Victoria novelties have not been fortunate. The three pieces there produced are all from the prolific pen of the pathetic Moncrieif. Not being able to speak favourably of them, we refrain from speaking at all. The Glass Curtain, it is said, draws, and will we hope reward the exertions of the proprietors: At the Queen's, Selby's farce of ' Hunting a Turtle' continues to con- vulse the audience. Mitchell's acting of a gardener in this piece is a delicious gem. Selby and Green also play very humorously in the piece. There is a good- natured suavity about the former which makes him always welcome in unassuming light comedy. Selby used to be thrust into tin breast plates, yellow boots, and pipe- clay'd trunks, to look terrible in the heavy business at the Victoria, but he is much more at home in his pre- sent position. Not the most formidable of battle axes, the blackest of beards, or the broadest of cutlasses, ever succeeded in making Selby look terrible in our eyes. It was no use his vowing vengeance in Milner's prose, or threatening general assassination in Somerset's poetry— we always knew it was the good- natured Selby that was before us, and could not be- lieve him when he swore, as the representative of some guilty father, that his conscience was stirring him up, as they stir up the monkeys in the Regent's Park, with a long pole. We are, however, very happy to find that Selby has at last gone to a theatre where the talent he possesses for the stage is thrown into its right channel. He is the best farce gentleman now on the stage, and it is no mean praise to say so, when the majority of persons pretending to his line are Remarkable for awkwardness and vul- garity of deportment. Selby having been a gentleman by position in pri- vate life, is able to sustain the character on the stage, which is, in the the- atrical profession, a qualification of great rarity. Sadlers Wells is luxuriating in a new piece called ' The Castle Caul- dron.' We presume we shall have next a new drama, called * The Kit- chen Saucepan,' or, by way of novelty, a piece in fourteen acts, to be entitled < Oyster Sauce, or the Fatal Butter Boat.' This style of thing is, we believe, attractive, and no one has a right to complain if it answers the purpose of the manager. TO CORRESPONDENTS. Last week's number of FIGARO being the 200th, was adorned with SIX CARICATURES BY SEYMOUR ! the whole impression was eagerly bought up, but copies of it still remain, an expensive process having been resorted to, in order to ensure as far as possible a satisfaction of the public appetite. The press has been warm in its praises of these new efforts of Seymour's pencil, but if orders are not speedily sent up, disappointment cannot be guarded against. " FIGARO IN LONDON, NO. 200.— This day's number of this remarkably spirited publication has given us so much delight that we cannot forbear to recommend it to the special patronage of all who would wish to be both " merry and wise." The first subject handled this week by FiGARo IN LON- DON is entitled ' Fieschi the Second;' and it is accompanied by six tableaux by Seymour— cuts of primary merit— they are all hits. Description would fail to do adequate justice either to the prose or the pictures; they must be seen to be adequately appreciated; but we must say a word or two on them. The first represents the infernal machine, formed of barrels with significant namet attached to them ; Lyndhurst, with his two accomplices, are preparing it— the accomplices will remind the reader of Waterloo and Kalish! The prose characterizes Lyndhurst as a worthy son of a painter, having talent for design. The second sketch is a ' Ministerial Cavalcade,'— but the third's the thing 146 FIGARO IN LONDON. ' to catch the conscience of the King :'— it is the explosion of the machine, which, unfortunately for the designers, explodes at both ends, whereby Lynd- hurst is damaged, Waterloo stands aghast, and the whiskered hero gets a storm on the stern that seems to give him no trifling lift towards the Russian camp ! ' The Effects of the Explosion' ( No. 4) are most efficient; ' The Capture of the Prisoner' ( No. 5), throttled by Dan, and pitied by Hume, is a piece of legitimate excellence j but the ' Dissection of the second Fieschi' ( No. 6), is an admirable finish. As Burns would say, these artists ' hack to teach,' for if people would take a hint, they might here get a good one, and all for a penny."— Morning Advertiser, Oct I. " The * Figaro in London' this week is more than ordinarily amusing. There are six humorous political tableaux, in Seymour's best style. The po- litical stars of the age have due honours paid them. Seymour is quite au fait in making future books. His graphic pencil gives the spirit of the journals at one view."— True Sun, Oct. 1. " A Constant Reader" is informed that there were two Miss Somer- villes on the stage, but the elder one has recently married a Mr. W. H. Bland ; the other, Miss M. Somerville, is we believe in the chorus of the English Opera. There is also a Miss Somerville, a sister of Mrs. Bunn, whom Abbott allowed to act a few times at the Victoria, in compliment to Lord Segrave. That Miss Somerville and the said Mrs. Bunn are no relatives to the other ladies of that name, who are descended of a respec- table stock of tailors and breeches makers. We have seen the Life of the immortal Simpson, written by himself, with a portrait, all for sixpence! This is a part of the histoiy of the country which ought to be in the hands of every body. ADVERTISEMENTS. O'CONNELL'S SEVEN SPEECHES, Price Together 6d., Separately One Penny, or Six Shillings per hundred for distribution, O'CONNELL'S SPEECH, addressed- to the People of Manchester. O'Connell's Speech at the Dinner at Manchester. O'Connell's Speech, addressed to the People of Edinburgh. O'Connell's Speech at the Dinner at Edinburgh. O'Connell's Speech at Newcastle. O'Connell's Speech » t Glasgow. Just Published, No. 1, price One Penny, to be continued weekly, ZOOLOGICAL ANECDOTES; commencing with that faithf, friend of man, the DOG; including authentic particulars of its habits, sagacity, & c. and illustrated with numerous engravings. Neatly printed in Sve„ on fine wove paper. The idea of this work was suggested by the following passage in the TIMES, of September 30. In reviewing ' Jesse's Gleanings,' 3rd series, just published, the Editor says:—" The circulation, in a cheap form, of the anecdotes which Mr. Jesse's industr has brought together, would, we are convinced, effect more, than any acts of the Legist lure to prevent cruelty will ever be able to accomplish." WOOD'S * NEWLY INVENTED SELF- INSTRUCTING SYSTEM OF SHORT- HAND, Price only Fivepence. Positively contains MORE practical information than many systems published at TWENTY times the price. Persons really desirous of acquiring this invaluable Art should be part ticular that they obtain WOOD' YTEM, on account of the numerous paltry productions imposed on the public, which only waste time, and can never be learned by any one. Published by W. 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This sheet contains Tables of Interest at Four and Five per Cent., Time of High Water at London Bridge for every day in the year, Regulations of the Foreign Post- Office, and much important knowledge. Price 3d. 3. TheJBritish Diamond Almanack, including Lists of both Houses of Parliament. Great Officers of State, Bankers, & c. & c. Stitched in a neat wrapper, gilt edges, price twopence. 4. The British Tradesman's Almanack, with an Engraving. Priee Id. 5. The British Penny Almanack, comprising more information than any other Almanack at double the price. London : Wakelin, 1, Shoe- lane— W. Strange, 21, Paternoster- row— IS, Commercial- place, City- road— 126 Strand— G. Purkess, Compton- st. and all Booksellers. On Saturday, the 17th of October, will be published, in the form of a pamphlet, price 2d. the first number, to be continued weekly, of THE NEW POLITICAL REGISTER. By John Bell, for three years editor and joint proprietor of the True Sun. London: Published by A. 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