FIGARO Itf LONDON Satire should like a polish'd razor keen, / Wound with a touch that's scarcely felt or seen.— LADY MONTAGUE. " Political Pasquinades and Political Caricatures are parts ( though humble ones,) of Political History. They supply information as to ihe person and habits often as to the motives and objects of public men, which cannot be found elsewhere." CROKER'S NEW WHIG GUIDE. No. 199. SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 26, 1835. Price One Penny THE OVER- DRIVEN B DLL. THE question of what is to be done with the Lords ? though for a short time put aside, is a question that must soon arise again, and with a force far greater than that which characterised all former discussions of it. It is not to be expected that John Bull will quietly submit to the shelving of the question, and therefore we need have no doubt but that it will arise to his mind in greater force than ever, in the course of a very short period. In this week's caricature, the efforts of Seymour have been directed with a spe- cies of perspective power, to the anticipatory solving of the important problem above referred to, and it is not difficult to con- ceive What will become of the Lords ? when we cast our eyes upon the above pictorial effort of our redoubtable artist. He has shown poor John Bull in the form of the animal from whom he derives his name, and has represented him as being overladen with h: s VOL. IV. persecutors, who, by their weight and cruel treatment seem to have driven the poor animal to distraction. Considering the extent of the burdens imposed upon the unhappy beast, considering also the cruel treatment of those who form the burden, and who continue to goad him with every kind of truculence, considering, we say, all this, we are not surprised that he should evince a species of fierce^ ness that is often produced by over cruelty on the part of those whose province it is to take the charge of animals. However, there is always danger in carrying persecution too far, and the most docile of beasts will, if excited and goaded to too great a dfgree, assume a ferocity which becomes formidable to those whose harsh treatment has been the cause of the rabid state of the animal. Of such a nature is the result predicted by the prophetic pencil of the pious Seymour, who, with a religious veneration for his native land, seems disposed by friendly and well timed warnings to avert, if possible, the fate that may be brought upon it, through the ill conduct of those whom accident has made its rulers. In following up this grand patriotic scheme, he has given this week to the world, a drawing representing John Bull overl. jlen with those bundles of dead weight, the Peers, and driven by their vexatious tyranny to so fearful a state of excitement, that his rapid and head- long course seems to threaten annihilation to every thing that comes in his way, and promises a certain, as well as speedy over- throw, even to his obstinate and imperious riders. There . is, however, fortunately in view, if not a check to the impetuous course of the excited Bull, at least a bar, which must, as he passes under it, rid him of those who have been too long pressing upon him— and as he hurries beneath the bar in question ( that of repre- sentation) it will sweep from his back the whole gang of aristocrats who have so long been riding on the distressed animal. The striking result is, that they must all eventually be deposited in the mud, to the infinite advantage of John Bull, and to their own incalculable discomfiture, We do not think the public will expect from us any further elucidation of this caricature, which has the merit of being its own interpreter. W. Strange, 21, Paternoster Row. 160 FIGARO IN LONDON. 179 INTERPRETER. Parochial Reform. Though our strong zeal in the cause of Reform can never he doubted by any one who has witnessed our undeviating advocacy of its best interests, and though our extreme liberality cannot have escaped the notice of the most ardent enthusiast for popular rights, yet we are bound to say, a class of self- styled parish reformers have lately sprung into existence who disgrace the class to which they pretend to belong, and degrade the cause they boast of furthering. A case lately occurred of a meeting in St. Pancras, where, on an humble petition being presented from the beadles for an increase of salary from twenty to five- and- twenty shillings per week, some filthy wretch got up, and actually proposed to dismiss the poor beadles, and thus throw themselves and families out of bread, merely on the stupid and most asinine plea, that the beadles are part of the old select, and ought to be rooted out accordingly. We should like to know how a poor beadle, wh^ se only ambition is to look imposing in the eyes of naughty boys at church— whose humble aim is to look terrific in his cocked hat and laced coat— how such a poor, insignificant, quiet, jelly- pated, pitiable devil as a parish bea- dle, can be considered dangerous to the cause of parochial reform, and render his starvation necessary to the interests of parochial eniightenment. We are happy to say, that in spite of the heart- less assiduity of a few of these parish patriots to deprive the un- happy beadles of their contemptible crust— we are happy, we say, to find the motion for starving them was scouted, and the pitiable idea of their being dangerous to the progress of reform was hooted down as disgustingly puerile. These fellows, who call themselves parish reformers, only want to grind down the bones of the poor ( half of them mere skeletons already), to save the pockets of the heartless and thriving rate- payer. We cannot bear to hear the name of Reform degraded by being applied to that beastly economy which wrenches the crust of charity from the yawning jaws of the parish pauper, to keep another penny- piece in the till of the swind- ling shop- keeper. If these fellows don't take care, we shall expose a few of the heads of these parish reformers. The Waggish People. Lectures at Theobald's Road.— On Sunday evening last Mr. Macconneil delivered his second lecture for the winter at this place, to a very nume- rous audience. Music and singing accompanied the lecture as usual. The above little paragraph is from an unstamped weekly newspaper, whose information, with respect to what may numerically be termed the people, can well be relied on. It appears that at the political lectures now given to his most gracious, but not always his most serene, majesty, the mob, it is usual to treat the audience with a little music and singing. We are happy to find that so much harmony exists at these places, and certainly compliment the people on the advance of their taste in preferring a little of the sugar of music to sweeten the bitter dose of politics. We shall hear next of Acts of Parliament being set to music, and we have no doubt if the Reform Bill were thus harmonised, it would be put to a good brisk quick movement, while, on the other hand, the Tories only wish it to go on to a slow and dreary adagio. A Fact. Mr. Jerrold has received, from various managers, about 501,, since Ja- nuary last, for the production of Black Eyed Susan.— Daily paper. This paragraph has been going round the papers, as a proof of the ex- cellent effects of the Dramatic Authors'Act. Now Mr. Jerrold knows, as well as every sensible person knows, that' Black Eyed Susan,' as a composition, is disgraceful to an author who could write ' Nell Gwynne,' or' The Rent Day,' and that five pounds is quite as much as he ever ought to have received for it. We, however, only quote the fact, in order to throw out the suggestion that there should be a law, protecting farces and burlesques performed in the Houses of Lords and Commons, so that Londonderry and Wetherell might be entitled to receive a trifle from the newspapers giving publicity to their speeches in Parliament. WINCHESTERIANA. No. 4. " I understand," said Winchester, " the Christinos expect the Carlists will soon attack Bil- boa. Now, upon my honour, whether its Bill Boa or Bill any body else that's attacked, I think the English government should take it up." Hobler gave a protracted grunt. Amid the various advices from Spain, the best advice in Win- chester's opinion would be " advising others not to come out." This advice has been written out by order of the cockney king, and a copy sent to every pot- house throughout the kingdom. It is to be hoped that it will have the benevolent effect of stopping the re- cruiting gammon, and prevent deluded maniacs selling their lives for a couple of shillings or so from the Spanish government. IMPORTANT FACTS. An advertisement in the Herald announces the interesting fact that coal- merchants' daughters are wanted to educate, at a genteel boarding- school, in the suburbs of the metropolis. Now, we don't see why coal- merchants' daughters should not be educated as well as other people, but the particular gout for rearing young coalheavers is at once peculiar and unintelligible. We presume, however, that the intention is to barter learning for coals, and to give for every chaldron of coals a batch of enlightenment. When the parent sends in a sack of Wallsend, the schoolmistress of course empties, as it were, a scuttle of grammar upon the head of the devoted infant; and according as the liberality of the father keeps up good fires in the establish- ment, so the governess keeps up in the child's mind a sort of Vesuvius of learning, throwing out from the juvenile volcano large lumps of Lindley Murray, Mavor, and other luminaries, worshipped in small seminaries for six year old striplings, in brown Holland pinafores. We rather admire this plan of taking the price of household articles out in learning, a sys- tem that has very generally been adopted in schools, and which brings all the scholars in useful contact with the daughters of coal- heavers, cow- keepers, butchers, bakers, cheesemongers, cow- boys, and all the other dealers in useful commodities, so that the young ladies pick up from their schoolfellows an interesting knowledge of the price of meat, tallow, kitchen- stuff, coals, tripe, baccy, wegetables, wax- candles, whey, and dog's meat. FOREIGN CORRESPONDENCE. In the present state of continental affairs, we are happy to be able to give, from our own peculiar sources, a few authentic letters from Spain, which cannot fail to be devoured with interest — that is to say, swallowed with avidity:— " DEAR FIGARO, " Spain. " Here we are at the seat of war, though, if ours is a standing army, what they mean by the seat of war is to me unaccountable. There is one comfort, however, in the recollection that one is safe out here from arrest; and the only thing that could shake the courage of our troops is the fear that Selby, Rutland, or Levy should join Don Carlos. The other evening a few of our choice soldiers, who had previously distin- guished themselves in the swell mob in London, went out with a deter- mination to forward the glorious cause of the constitution and St. Christina. They returned with great triumph, having succeeded in picking the pocket of a dead Carlist, for which they were all rewarded on the spot with the rank of colonel; and, in fact, promotion is going on at so fine a rate that we may expect to have an army of nothing but officers. As in the cook- shops they don't make less of plumb pudding than twopenn'orth, so, in the British auxiliary force, we make nothing now under a corporal. We have been waiting for some time at Bayonne, but I suppose they think as long as we are at Bayonne we shall be out of the way of the bayonets. They are sending the shells in all directions, but if these shells burst near us they will be as bad to us as coffins. General Evans is doing nothing with his staff but walking about with it, and a pilgrim could do as much, but FIGARO IN LONDON. 179 Evans drinks champagne, and his officers get gloriously drunk, at the ex- pense of the Queen Regent. l< There was an engagement yesterday with a party of Carlists. Tom Snooks had his eye shoved right out with a spear, and Dick Iluggins had his nose blown slap off with a grenade bursting on the bridge just between his eyebrows, His last words were a few incoherent sentences about an outstanding cognovit, and he resigned his soul into his Maker's hands with an ejaculation, in which the words—' Selby— quod— power of attorney— bail above—' were the only sounds audible. Ned Nokes had his ear cut- lassed severely in an action off Bilboa, and Ferdinand Fitzflabber had his brains scooped out with a Carlist cuirass, while merely admiring the view in a field near Santander. Considering what a wooden- headed fellow Fer- dinand is, you might recommend the Carlist to Seymour as an excellent hand at cutting on wood, though it is very hard one can't admire the beau- ties of nature without being cut off by the ill- nature of the enemy. I shall continue to write to you till I am killed. " Your's, in trepidation, " TIMOTHY GULLY." NEWSPAPER HEADINGS. The quaint manner in which the newspapers classify their intelligence is amusing in the last degree to any one having any appreciation for the ridiculous. The Globe has a department called Fashion and Small Talk, in which it inserts such little tit bits as murders, burglaries, deaths, suicides, and accidents. Whether these things be fashionable we cannot pretend to determine, and the editor of the Globe probably knows best, but we really think Smalltalk is rather too light a head under which to class the sort of proceedings alluded to. The other day one of the journals gave a horrid case of self destruction as a singular experiment, and we saw an account of fifteen persons killed by the bursting of a boiler coolly described as curious effects of steam. BREVITIES. A Libel. Some of the papers have made it theirduty to analyse the King's Speech. The ministers who prepared it seem to have thought that any lies were not too gross to put into it. An Ass- ertion. The King said in his speech that the Parliament had shewn itself to be assiduous. If lie had pronounced the word as ass- iduous, we should not have disputed the point with his Majesty. Go it, Billy. " I understand," said the King, " there is this year a sad deficiency in the crop of turnips. Now I think the best way to remedy this is to col- lect together a large body of people with red hair, so that what we want in crops of turnips may be made up for in a fine assemblage of crops of ear- rots." Sir Herbert Taylor ( the royal toad devourer) literally split the sides of his inexpressibless with excessive laughter. No Work and all Play. When the Reform Bill passed, every one was anxious for what they called " an opportunity of seeing the working of a Reformed Parliament." From the unprecedented laziness evinced since that time by the House of Commons, it would appear that the working of the Parliament is the very last thing we may expect to have a specimen of. Hit him on the Raw. We are told that the wool trade is getting up, and that there is a very brisk demand for the raw article. If such is the case, we should say there must be some chance for a value being at last set upon Winchester, the very rawest of raw articles. The Corn Laws again. " I say," said the King to Melbourne, " you've talked to me of measures permitting the exportation of corn, now can't you suggest an act by which I might get rid of my bunions." The premier took some laughing gas to enable him to receive the royal joke with due honours. THEATRICALS. The Haymarket was on'Monday the scene of rather a curious exhibition, and one that at least had the claim of novelty, if not to recommend it, at least to add to its interest. A Mr. Otway, who, some 14 or 15 years ago, made a decided hit at Drury Lane as Hamlet, but having accidentally pitched, head over heels, upon a bag of nails ( which, by the bye, was going quite upon the wrong tack) he was unable to appear afterwards. The hero of the tenpennies, however, at length mustered up courage to make another effort, and made his bow before the Haymarkct audience on Mon- day ; but, after going through the first scene, his agitation became so truly distressing that he gave a reel, and, had there been another bag of nails in the way, he must have fallen on it again, but luckily he fell smack bang into the extended arms of Horatio and Guildenstern. This was his final exit, and the next intimation of him was to the effect that he could not come forward again, being nearly in a fainting state in the green- room. We regretted this extremely, for Mr. Otway gave in his first scene decided promise of a very superior portraiture of the character. We trust that his nerves will soon be strung up again to another effort, and that he will, encouraged by this notice, make another attempt, in which he will put forth all his energies, unshackled by the want of nerve that in this instance afflicted him. We cannot help remarking upon the rich exuberance of the gods, who, on finding they were disappointed of their entertainment from the stage, began, with their customary coolness, to amuse themselves by a few tricks of their own, and accordingly commenced an uproario is chorus of ' God save the Kins?,' which went off with a fine adagio move- ment into ' All round my Hat,' and thus their loyalty oozed away in a fit of fine racy vulgarity. However, we like a little bit of good humour on the part of the gods, and were delighted with the greasy vagabonds, whose merriment certainly enlivened the dullness of the regular proceedings at the Haymarket. The note of preparation is sounding in all the metropolitan theatres; but Covent Garden has, up to this moment, been reported as untenanted. There have, however, been various rumours on the subject— one of which is of a kind to create one wild laugh through the land, and shake Great Britain with a convulsive " Ha, ha, ha !" such as Zamiel is supposed to emit from his fiendish jaws in taking his victims below, or such as O. Smith would give forth in his own pet part of Mephistophiles. En passant, we may as well observe that O. Smith is said to have made the character of the devil peculiarly his own ; we really trust that ( for the sake of O., whom we respect) the devil will not, on the last day, return the compli- ment. To return, however, to the subject we were speaking of— namely, the projected letting of Covent Garden. The deliciously comic scheme we had been told was in contemplation, is the letting of the theatre to a committee, of which Mr. Fitzball was to be the head; and the style of management would have embraced the production of a series of horrors, all of a kind to have exhausted the whole stock of blue fire and brimstone now in England. The contemplation of the letting to Fitzhall had created a strong interest in the brimstone dealing circles, and the impediment that had been put iu the way of its disposal to the great hero of the bloody bones and raw- head philosophy, has excited quite a panic in the minds of this branch of commercialists. We understand that Fitzball never enter- tained the slightest idea of embarking in theatrical speculation, though the death of a brother has put him into, as he himself says, the most com- fortable and happiest circumstances. We don't know whether the worthy Fitzball has killed his brother, by frightening him out of his life with his melo- dramatic ideas ; but if it could be proved that the brother had seen ' Carmilhan' at Covent Garden before he died, we doubt if a charge could not be sustained against the author for manslaughter at least, if not for fratricide. We understand, however, that the worthy man never had any intention of takiug the premises. Reports as to the fate of Covent Garden Theatre are flying about in al directions, but nothing has as yet come within our knowledge that we are disposed to regard as at all probable. The last we have heard on the sub- ject is, that Davidge and a Mr. Osbaldiston, a country actor, and after- wards for a short time lessee of the Surrey, were about to take the concern, but we really trust, for the credit of the national drama, that Covent Gar- den Theatre will not be reduced to the scale of the lowest ill rank of all the minor establishments. Davidge is making money at the Surrey, and he deserves to do so, for his management is spirited and highly creditable, but we hope he is too goodajudge to embark his earnings in a speculation that must eventually ruin him. If the proprietors of Coveut Garden suffer the prices to be reduced they ruin the property at once, and they had better keep it closed than allow^ resort to be had to so degrading an alter 214 FIGARO IN LONDON. native. We cannot believe that Mr. Davidge will be fool enough to become a partner with Osbaldiston, at least if there be any truth in the stories told respecting a former partnership of that individual. We really do not conscientiously think that any respectability could attach to this theatre if it should fall into the hands of persons who have no character for any thing hut meanness, and no idea of management but blue fire, bombast, and buffoonery. Madame Vestris opens the Olympie, Charles Mathews opens the Adelphi, and Mr. Glossop ( we believe) opens the Victoria, on Monday, the 28th instant. Vestris has lost Planche, who was somebody, and has lost Dance, who is nobody; the latter never at any time having done more for her than steal French vaudevilles, and, by trying to give English names to some of the characters, endeavour to palm them off as original. Of this order is, we believe, ' The Beulah Spa,' and of this order also are, we believe, all the other pieces of which the said Dance claims the authorship. He has been making some overtures, we understand, for a reconciliation, but . Madame has very properly refused to hear of it. As this is the only thea- tre where Dance ever conld succeed in getting his pieces produced, it is supposed, in well- informed circles, that the said pieces will not in future be acted any where. As Mr. Dance writes the theatricals in the Athenoeum, he could speak well of his own pieces, and snarl at the success of others, but now, we presume, it will he all snarl in the paper of that wishy- washy periodical.— Mathews begins the Adelphi season with a new piece by him- self, and another new piece by Bnckstone. We sincerely regret that his company is not stronger, as we wish him all success in his enterprise.— The Victoria is announced to open with two new pieces by Moncrieff, to whom the literary department of the theatre is entrusted, and it is promised that an attempt will be made to render the theatre worthy of its former popularity. Moncrieff is a clever writer, and should hope would know better than to bring the literary department down to the level of former days, when a blow from Bradley's broad sword was considered more ele- aant than the finest poetical sentiment, and a murder by Blanchard was considered the acme of dramatic excellence. Mitchell, as stage- manager, might have been some counterpoise to such proceedings, though, if report be true that Mr. H. Wallack succeeds him, we have no doubt he under- stands better the taste of the day than to allow the management to ( as it threatens to do) surpass all former Coburg efforts. The house is, we hear, to open with two new pieces by Moncrieff, which will we trust be successful, and the concern, so long as it is well managed, shall always experience our encouraging patronage. The first poster talking of " a Temple of Venus arising from a sea of pellucid glass," is rather a poor specimen of the literary department of the theatre. TO CORRESPONDENTS. The excitement occasioned by an announcement, a few weeks ago, that a grand boon of * SIX CARICATURES ! was in contemplation, has been perhaps equal to any of those well- known sensations that have been felt by all on former similar occasions. The public, and particularly the country booksellers, are, however, now re- minded that the treat will come next week, when FIGARO IN LONDON will reach its TWO HUNDBEDTH NUMBER, an event that will be celebrated by SIX of SEYMOUR'S HAPPIEST CARICATURES, and other attractions, which an inspection of the num- ber itself can alone afford an adequate notion of. It is positively neces- sary that country booksellers should be early in their orders, and the publisher has resolved to shew no partiality in the allotment of the num- bers so that as " first come first served," will be the grand order of the day, it is only the early purchaser who can be ensured against disappoint" ment. The London dealer will see the expedience of attending to this gentle hint, and speedy orders are recommended, to enable him to supply the increased voracity of the public appetite for FIGARO, without causing disappointment to the regular customer. Mr. Strange is instructed to add, that though the printer's presses can work off large supplies, they can- not nork miracles, and that therefore he cannot ensure the tardy applicant for next week's FIGARO against bitter disappointment. A D V E R T I S E M E N T S . DEAVER HATS, good, 12s., usually charged 14s. Do. Do. better, 15s., do. 18s. Do. Do. best, 21s., do. 26s. The combined good qualities of W. WILKINSON'S BEST HATS are s° well known as scarcely to need comment ; their beautiful colour, style, short nap, lightness, and durability, far surpass any thing ever before offered to the public; in short, it is impossible to bring Hats to greater perfection than W. W. has succeeded in doing. The choice of Shape will be found larger than at any other Establishment in London Best Livery Hats, 18s., will resist any weather. * A good assortment of Youths' and Boys' Hats and Caps at moderate prices. W. WILKINSON, 80, STRAND, near Salisbury Street. O'CONNELL'S SPEECHES, just Published, Price One Penny each, or Six Shillings per hundred for distribution, O'CONNELL'S SPEECH, addressed to the People of Manchester. O'Connell's Speech at the Dinner at Manchester. O'Connell's Speeih, addressed to the People of Edinburgh. O'Connell's Speech at the Dinner at Edinburgh. O'Connell's Speech at Newcastle. O'Connell's Speech at Glasgow. O'CONNELL'S LETTER TO THE DUKE OF WELLINGTON. " It is a masterpiece of energetic composition, fearless, probing, eloquent. It cannot fail to ' sound the alarm' through the kingdom— to strike terror into the souls of the satellites of corruption."-— Satirist. THE CRY OF BLOOD FROM IRELAND! Being an Appeal to The Reformers of England. By D. O'Connell, Esq. M. P. With an engraving. . Also, Price 6d, on India Paper, ( engraved on steel), and 3d. plain, A PORTRAIT OF DANIEL O'CONNELL, Esq. M. P. for Dublin. " The likeness is good, and the engraving excellent."— Dublin Register. 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