Last Chance to Read
 
 
 
 
You are here:  Home    Figaro in London

Figaro In London

19/09/1835

Printer / Publisher: W. Strange 
Volume Number:     Issue Number: 198
No Pages: 4
 
 
Price for this document  
Figaro In London
Per page: £2.00
Whole document: £3.00
Purchase Options
Sorry this document is currently unavailable for purchase.

Figaro In London

Date of Article: 19/09/1835
Printer / Publisher: W. Strange 
Address: 21, Paternoster Row
Volume Number:     Issue Number: 198
No Pages: 4
Sourced from Dealer? No
Additional information:

Full (unformatted) newspaper text

The following text is a digital copy of this issue in its entirety, but it may not be readable and does not contain any formatting. To view the original copy of this newspaper you can carry out some searches for text within it (to view snapshot images of the original edition) and you can then purchase a page or the whole document using the 'Purchase Options' box above.

For me tr\ O'/ i $ A hard take it in ( FIGARO LONDON. No. 198, " Political Pasquinades and Political Caricatures are parts ( though humble ones,) of Political History. They supply information as to the person and habits JL'ten as to the motives and objects of public men, which cannot be found elsewhere."— CROKER'S NEW WHIG GUIDE. SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 19, 1835. A RETURNED LETTER. AMID the general dullness of the present dull season, when there is not even the buffoonery of Parliament to keep one alive — and now, too, that its great rival, Bartholomew Fair, is finished— we ought to be exceedingly obliged to Seymour for treating us to those racy sketches which, with Promethean powers, give a spark of animation to objects the most inanimate, and strike out something entertaining even from that lump of dullness, his Grace of Wellington. The above caricature shews him in the act of refusing to take VOL. IV. in O'Connell's letter, which has given to the martial duke that last and decisive kick, which was only wanted to finish him in public estimation as a political quack, and a decidedly bad Minister. But though his Grace affects so prettily ignorance of the contents of this epistle— and, by the bye, ignorance is a thing which sets upon him with most peculiar aptitude— though he does pretend that he will not take it in at his door, yet it is a letter for which he will have tD pay the most exorbitant postage, in the way of an increased stock of public odium, which the fine exposure it embodies will inevitably bring down upon him. The public ought to be infinitely obliged to Mr. O'Connell for taking the trouble to write this letter, which puts them in posses- sion of a few facts and secrets, by which it will be as well, in fu- ture, to regulate the estimate of the Duke's public character.— Seymour has certainly placed his Grace in a new light, by having made him in the act of refusing to take in, when it is so well known that to take in any body, or any thing, has been the constant aim of the whole political life of the wary Wellington. However, whether his Grace reads or not, every body else will read, and thus the object is attained. When a warning is put up, saying, " This road leads to a pestilence," it is not for the benefit of the pestilence that the notice is given, but. for the information of the passing tra- veller— so Mr. O'Connell's letter is not so much meant to be pe- rused by the Duke ( for conscience within him must be by this time quite dead), but it is designed as a guide to the people, and merely means to say—" Beware of the Duke— the thing is dangerous." We are happy to find that" the warning is eagerly caught at on all hands ; and if any thing should occur to throw out the imbecile Whigs, we may ( thanks to O'Connell's letter) feel confident that, after the exposure alluded to, not even Wellington's audacity could induce him to aim at the Ministry. We may have to put up with a Minister not much better, but it is one consolation to know that we shall be spared the worst. We now leave the Duke to " chew the cud" of the Irish patriot's epistle ; and we can only once more express our thanks to him, for W. Strange, 21, Paternoster Row. Satire should like a polish'd razor keen, Wound with a touch that's scarcely felt or seen.— LADY MONTAGUE. 156 FIGARO IN LONDON. having1 so delightfully laid open the character of the great political enemy to the people. INTERPRETER. My Grandmother. The Morning Herald has long enjoyed this amiable title; and every dav's number that it issues tends to confirm the impression that no better title could have been possibly found for it. On Tuesday last, it commenced a stupid rigmarole about Imprisonment for Debt, regretting ( when too late) that the Bill was lost, though, till it actually was lost, the old drivel- ler never was heard to say a word on the subject. Such zeal in watching the stable- door, when the horse is stolen, never could have been equalled by the most perfect of ninnies. And now, too, the old fool suggests some- thing should be done immediately, as if Acts of Parliament could be made just as well when the houses are not sitting— and, by the bye, but for the form of voting, the discussions of a measure could proceed much more satisfactorily with an empty house than a full one. But as this is not yet the plan of legislation, we cannot have acts passed till the houses meet; and the old idiot of a Herald is, therefore, more drivelling than ever in asking for the immediate passing of a Bill to abolish Imprisonment. We really are so charmed with the old womanishness of this paper, that we cannot help giving vent to our filial feelings in an ODE TO OUR GRANDMOTHER. Who is it every day, so good, Gives us, by way of morning food, Of milk- and- water quite a flood ? Our Grandmother ! Who is it, when the time is gone, Declares that " something must be done"— And uselessly will drivel on ? Our Grandmother ! Who is it says one thing to- day, To- morrow speaks the other way, Then changes back again for pay ? Our Grandmother! Who is it writes so very fine, Quite in the sentimental line, About the virtues of the pine?* Our Grandmother ! Who is it inspiration sips, By sucking with her ancient lips, Dirty and old pine- apple pips ? Our Grandmother! Who is an antiquated fool, Who ought to go again to school, And occupy the dunce's stool ? Our Grandmother! THE PAST SESSION. The only good thing that has occurred throughout the whole session of parliament has been the closing of it, and indeed we are incalculably indebted to his most gracious majesty for having at length terminated the grand national farce of the " Sitting of Parliament." We must certainly give no slight credit to the minis- ters for the line they have adopted, which is one for which we consider them most eminently qualified. Finding their attempts o do something have only excited the general ridicule of the com- munity, they have, in the exercise of a nice discretion, adopted the alternative of doing nothing, in which they have, of course, suc- ceeded to a miracle. We cannot but applaud the judgment with which they have accommodated their efforts to the extent of their * The Herald has treated its readers with a long series of articles on the pine- apple. intellects— and the past session having on its record positively NOT ONE action of the Whig Ministers, redounds more to their credit than any preceding one which was marked by any of their humbug attempts to catch at popularity. However, they are likely to become considerably more popular as doers of nothing, than in any other of their assumed characters. Such perfect aptitude as they have exhibited for this task, will doubtless encourage them to continue its practice, and we can assure them that in nothing they will be sure of our vigorous co- operation. They seem to be acting on a loose but veiy valuable hint which we threw out a short time since, that an utter absence of all legislation was th « best thing for this country, since those who pretend to the science of government have proved themselves soj utterly useless in the capacity of ministers. The do- nothing ministry will, we have no doubt, be more popular. THE KING'S SPEECH. His Majesty's speech has given, just what it always does, the greatest dissatisfaction to every body. It is as hieroglyphical a » usual; but we have been at the pains to consult the political planet « , and have furnished an interpretation of it, which we trust will serve to throw a light upon this hitherto wholly inexplicable document. We have taken the liberty of versifying, or, as Winchester would say, worse- ifying the speech ; but we think we have made it rather better than worse by our little alterations. The Sing's Speeoh. My Lords and my Commons, I'm happy to say, I've come down to the House to dismiss you to- day ; And as it is right you should be at your ease, You may all of you go to the deuce, if you please. But as ' tis the custom some blarney to spout, In sending you all to your business about, I must say a something— or else I am curs'd But I'd see you all blazing in Tartarus first. I'm happy to say, that all foreign powers Continue as friendly as ever with ours; I lament— though you know lamentation is vain— They continue to raise such a rumpus in Spain. But I've given permission to any poor dupes In this country to go as auxiliary troops— For I think I can spare— just as easy as not— A few of my subjects to go and be shot. Entre nous, though Don Carlos to pieces may carve them, At home we might probably manage to starve them. I've finished a treaty, with wond'roits parade, Prohibiting selling of slaves as a trade; It sounds, as a clap- trap, uncommonly well— And you, my lords, know that to buy or to sell Is not what, in fact, the distinction can mark— There are white slaves, as well as the slaves that are dark. The corporate measure I very much like, For reform is a name well adapted to strike; But my Ministers cleverly manage it so, That as a Reform Bill by name it shall go— Though, when ' tis examined, ' tis easily found There's nought of Reform in the Bdl but the sound. I'm glad to perceive that the Irish, just now, Are sunk in their misery really so low ; They haven't the spirit to kick up a riot, And are of necessity rather more quiet. My Commons, I thank you, for readdy giving The money to pay my expences of living. And now, Lords and Gentlemen, as I have done, You each may be off to your separate fun ; And hunting the game, may just keep you in train Till I want you to hunt down the people again. SIGNED— WILLIAM RKX. Witness— MELBOURNE. FIGARO IN WINCHESTERIANA. No. 3. The civic king read in the Herald on Monday the following passage: " The trumpet can do almost any thing in Mr. Harper's hands." Winchester instantly exclaimed, " Upon my soul, I see nothing so great in that— I can do any thing with a trumpet in my hands, but, for the life of me, I can't do any thing with it when it gets into my mouth." Hobler struck up the solo parts of ' Gratias agimus." " What vessel," asked Winchester, " is sure never to come to its journey's end ?" Hobler guessed at the iErial ship. " No, by my father's whiskers," cried Winchester; " it is a vessel for Madeira, because if its bound for Madeira it must always keep away from Port." Hobler drained ( he contents of an inkstand, as a sacrifice to the intellect of the cockney king. A TRIMMING FOR WINCHESTER. If ever fellow deserved exposure it is Winchester, in his charac- ter of magistrate, for however qualified he may be by reason of his idiotcy for the office of Lord Mayor, it renders him dangerous when he gets playing the fool in a magisterial capacity. The other day, a very important case came before him on which to adjudicate, and his filthy decree was to " settle it over a pot of porter.'' 1 We should like to know upon what statue this decision is founded, for with all the madness of Parliament we do not th; nk it ever passed an act prescribing the participation in a pot of filthy double X as the only remedy for an injury. It is very well for such a man as Winchester himself, who can be got to do anything over a pot of porter; but the idea of referring suitors, in a judicial court, to the vulgar beverage, is at once an insult to the laws, and the constitu- tion of the country. If Winchester had his way, our courts would be degraded by such decisions as " two pnlls at the porter pot,'' instead of so many pounds' damages. The thing ought to be looked to immediately. ADVERTISEMENT EXTRAORDINARY. An advertisement appears in the Herald of Tuesday, addressed " to Gentlemen who pay cash." In the present day, such an advertisement is right down insanity, for it is by no means the habit of " gentlemen'' to " pay cash," as the advertiser would have known had he been blessed with a little experience. If he thinks to get his notice read by such an exordium, he is dreadfully mistaken, for there is not one eye in ten thou- sand that will not instinctively pass it over, as wholly irrelevant to his own personal arrangements. We really think the people of the Herald ought to be indicted for taking money under false pretences, since, in receiving an advertisement, it is generally supposed that it is a thing likely at least to be read, though, in this case, such a result is next to an impossibility. HOLY CROSS READINGS. The programme of the musical performances at the York Minster pre- sent a few peculiarities in the way of cross- reading, which we suspect, if the Bishop of London does his duty, he will immediately take cognizance of. We subjoin a few specimens for his most pious persual, and beg that he will instantly " do the needful," by prosecuting all those who had the smallest hand in drawing up the bills of performances :— The Lord is a Man of War— by Vhillips. Holy, holy, Lord God Almighty— Mrs. Knyvett. The people shall hear— Mr. Braliam. He sent a thick darkness— Signor Lablache. Thou didst blow— Mrs. Bishop. Sing ye to the Lord— Mdlle. Grist. But the waters overwhelmed— Miss Kemble. We really think there is full matter for an ecclesiastical prosecution in the above, which are only a few of the tit- bits of blasphemy from the pro- gramme of the York Musical Festival. LONDON. 179 BREVITIES. Epigram ON LYNDHURST'S FORMER ATTACKS ON THE TORIES. Lyndhurst the Tory party once revil'd, But finding no one by his words persuaded, Against the Tories, desperately wild, Join'd them, and thus the gang at once degraded. Economy in the City. Formerly the City had its Lord Mayor and its Fool, each being separate officers. In these days of economy, both characters are very properly filled by one individual. A Royal Rub. The Queen of Spain has experienced opposition to her policy from what is called the Junta at Arragon. King William, on hearing the news, is said to have remarked—" What could she expect from the people of Ar- ragon but arrogance." A Good Reason. It is said women were always partial to fools. This fact accounts for the domestic felicity said to be enjoyed by the two greatest personages in the realm. A Disagreeable Post. By a new law made in France, a certain minister is bound to read every new piece before it is represented on the Parisian stage. It is fortunate the French pieces are not quite so bad as some of the English, for being obliged to read them would be enough to make even the most tenacious minister resign. Epigram. WHY SHOULD CUMBERLAND NOT BE SATIRISED ? Who tries to bite, should very cautious be, What may the object of his vengeance be— „ For he who bites a thing with poisonous blood, May fall a victim to the deadly flood ; So he that cuts at Cumberland, sets free A tide of gall, as black as black can be. Epigram ON LYNDHURST'S VIRTUES. Lyndhurst detests deceit, he says ; And if he does, it can but prove— Though he is bad in other ways— We can't accuse him of self- love. THEATRICALS. Bunn opens Drury Lane at the end of the present month, and he has secured a very considerable portion of what little talent was to be met with last season at the Theatres Royal. His additions are not particularly powerful, most of them being performers from the minor houses, who, however great they may be in their own sphere, seldom sustain their popu- larity in the extended arena of a patent theatre. It is wretched policy of an established minor actor to abandon his situation and prospects at a small house, for the glittering bait of an engagement at Drury Lane or Covent Garden, where he immediately becomes merged in the mass of nobodies, and finds it impossible to regain, on returning to his former si- tuation, his former popularity. Bunn, we believe, opens with * LaJuive,' in a dramatic form, and Yates's getting- up will doubtless make it worth seeing; while his wife and Macready will at least impart some interest to the two leading characters. Covent Garden is still in the same ease; but Bartley has laid down a five- pound note, still in the vain hope of getting the premises. The thing is monstrous; and even if he got the house he would never muster a com- pany— though he boasts, in private, that he would give a monopolytogue, which he declares he would run every night throughout the season. At the Haymarket, Beasley's comedy is being played only on alternate nights, which seems to say that its attraction does not keep pace with its success. The papers spoke highly of it, and deservedly so; but, by the bye, what do these people ( with a few exceptions) know about the things 214 FIGARO IN LONDON. they criticise; yet the insolence and puppyism of these myrmidons is at times particularly obnoxious to the good taste of persons who, like us, know what the fry is composed of The fellow, for instance, who gets his few shillings per week for doing the critical in that milk- and- watery slob- bering sheet of true foolscap, The Athenaeum— this person, we say, had the shop boy arrogance to remark, in speaking of the prologue to the new comedy—" We were not in timi to hear it, hut we understand it is good." Now we want to know what this fellow meant by not being in time. What can have taken up his precious moments so much that he was too late to do his duty to his master, who ought to have discharged him at once for presuming to say he was not in time to hear the prologue, but he under- stands it is good. Why the blockhead is not sent there to understand, but to report. His understanding is not worth twopence to any body; and the dirty coxcombery of the fellow's being too late for his job ought to have been punished by an instant dismissal. We are quite sure Col- burn would have dismissed The Court Journal cad in two minutes had he dared to talk in this way ; but he knows better than this, and would take care to be at the doors by the opening, even if he sacrificed his fourpenny tea, including egg and roll, with a perusal of the magazines, and the luxury of being called " Sir" by the waiter. Mr. Oxenford, the author of two or three clever farces, took a Fitz Ball pill about a month ago, the result is one of the most horrible and Mephis- tophilean productions that ever charmed the melo- dramatic heart of the diabolical but truly respectable O. Smith, or frightened a scared public from its dull property. The piece in question is called the ' Dice of Death,' and is cast in the Freischutz mould, combining a due proportion of skulls, bones, heads, arms, and in fact every thing human or inhuman except brains, which it generally happens are the only articles missing in these concoctions of diablerie. It however seems to frighten one into something like a fit of suicide, and as such, makes up, as the papers say, " a very agreeable entertainment." As to O. Smith, it is flattering when we say he equals the devil himself— and, we really think, if in the arrange- ment of the last day, Mr. O. Smith's place should happen to be down stairs, ( which we not for a moment mean to insinuate,) yet we say if such were the case, we think there wonld be no telling one from the other, so completely does our friend O. realise our humble ideas of the renowned Beelzebub. We may possibly be wrong, but we really think the great father of sin, cannot be better got up to frighten the wicked than is Mr. O. Smith in the character of Mephistophiles. We understand, he sat for several hours over an immense furnace of brimstone previous to playing the part, and that he also had a long interview with Crockford, which ended in his adopting several valuable hints given him by the redoubtable fishmonger. The author deserves some credit for having served to alarm the whole neighbourhood of the English Opera House, and he reaps the reward of his labours in the nighty squealing of children in arms in the gallery. At the Queen's,' Zarah' continues to succeed ; and a new piece, by Selby, called ' Hunting a Turtle,' was to be placed en scene on Monday. We have not yet seen it, but shall pay our early devoirs to the novelty ; and are delighted that our zeal in smashing the cad has sent his piece to wing its airy flight into some other region. A piece, by Barnett, called ' The Spirit of the Rhine,' is forthcoming, in which Mrs. Honey acts an excellent part, so that there is now positively nothing like a chance for poor Collier. The Adelphi opens on Monday week, though we do not yet know the opening novelty. Webster is said to be engaged; if so, we can only say we pity the property. Mrs. Honey goes to Drury Lane ; and, altogether, the spirit of desertion will materially weaken the company. Collier, in The Court Journal, says, authors of ability are to write. He thinks, perhaps, this little puff will get one of his own piracies done; but we can tell him young Mathews is too deep, and that there is more truth in the paragraph than Collier thinks for. They are to be authors of ability, and so his hopes may as well be ended. Vestris will be ready in the field, with a fine company and lots of no- velties : indeed, on all hands, the dramatic season is expected to be a busy one. NOTICE. Whiggeries and Waggeries, Nos. 1 and 2 are still on sale, with forty slash- ing cuts in each, by Se\ mour. The trade are supplied at Is. 6d. per doz. ( 13), and unsold cop es are taken back at the end of the year. The price for each is twopence. ADVERTISEMENTS. O'CONNELL AT MANCHESTER. Just Published, Price One Penny each, or Six Shillings per hundred for distribution, O'CONNELL'S SPEECH, addressed to the People of Manchester, on Thursday, September 10, 1835. Also, O'Connell's Speech at the Dinner at Manchester, on the same day. O'CONNELL AND THE DUKE OF WELLINGTON. Now Prfblishing, price One Penny, or 6s. per 100, O'CONNELL'S LETTER TO THE DUKE OF WELLINGTON. " It is a masterpiece of energetic composition, fearless, probing, eloquent. It cannot fait to ' sound the alarm' through the kingdom— to strike terror into the souls of the satellites of corruption."— Satirist. THE CRY OF BLOOD FROM IRELAND ! Being an Appeal to The Reformers of England. By D. O'Connell, Esq. M. P. With an engraving. Also, Price 6d, on India Paper, ( engraved on steel), and 3d. plain, A PORTRAIT OF DANIEL O'CONNELL, Esq. M. P. for Dublin. " The likeness is good, and the engraving excellent."— Dublin Register. Publishing in Numbers, price 2d. and in Parts price 6d. rpHE ARABIAN TALES, with Elegant Engravings. Forming the Sequel to the ARABIAN NIGHTS ENTERTAINMENTS. The First Volume contains:— II Bondocani: or the Caliph Robber. The Power of Destiny, or the Story of the journey of Giafar to Damascus, comprehending the adven- tures of Chebib and his Family. Halechalbe and the Unknown Lady. Xailoun, the Idiot. Vol. I., price 3s., is now ready. Published by W. STRANRE No. 21, Paternoster Row; and Sold by Wakelin, late Cleave, 1, Shoe- lane, Fleet Street; No. 18, Commercial Place, City Road ; No. 126, Strand; Purkess, Compton Street, Soho; Lewis, Manchester; Cooper, Birming- ham ; Mrs. Mann, Leeds ; Heywood, Manchester; and all Booksellers. THE LIBERTY OF THE PRESS. Now publishing, Eight Quarto Pages for One Pennv, AN ADDRESS to the PUBLIC on the RECENT SEIZURES of the UNSTAMPED NEWSPAPER PRESS, in which is given the whole of Lord Brougham's celebrated Pamphlet, " WE CAN'T AFFORD IT." With an Engraving. The friends of freedom are earnestly requested to lend their aid in circu- lating this Pamphlet. London : Wakelin, 1, Shoe- lane, Fleet- street; W. Strange, 21, Paternoster Row; and all Booksellers in Town and Country. THE COMET!! I " A RCHER'S MAP OF THE HEAVENS, SHEWING THE J\. PATH OF HALLEY'S COMET, at any hour of night, is a cheap and ingenious work, so simple in its construction and management that an intelligent child can easily understand it."— The Times, August 25th. The enlarged plate is just published, price 6d. coloured, by Gilbert and Co., 51, Paternoster Row. Also, GILBERT'S GUIDE TO, & HISTORY OF, HALLEY'S COMET, with an engraving. Third edition. Price only three halfpence. Sold by all Booksellers, & c., whj will find these works sell very rapidly. QPHE FINEST BEAVER HATS, 21s. BEST BEAVER HATS, t7s. 6d. SUPERB GOSSAMER HATS, 12s. The above are manufactured of the most choice materials, and finished in the highest styleof fashion— they never spotwith rain nor lose their shape. FRANKS AND CO., Sole Patentees and Manufacturers. a, , 140, Regent Street, West. IRg London ^ Re5cross streeti City, Paris .. 97, Rue Richelieu. Jt gl Edinburgh, 6, St. Andrew Street. "*>-' Dublin. 3. Sackville Street. N. B— Franksand Co. are the only Manufacturers who really supply the Public the Wholesale Price. Printed and Published ( for the Proprietor) by W. STRANGE, 21 . PATERNOSTER ROW.
Ask a Question

We would love to hear from you regarding any questions or suggestions you may have about the website.

To do so click the go button below to visit our contact page - thanks