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Figaro In London

12/09/1835

Printer / Publisher: W. Strange 
Volume Number:     Issue Number: 197
No Pages: 4
 
 
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Figaro In London

Date of Article: 12/09/1835
Printer / Publisher: W. Strange 
Address: 21, Paternoster Row
Volume Number:     Issue Number: 197
No Pages: 4
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FIGARO 1A LOWIOM. Satire should like a polish'd razor keen, Wound with a touch that's scarcely felt or seen.— LADY MONTAGUE. " Political Pasquinades and Political Caricatures are parts ( though humble ones,) of Political History. They supply information as to the person and habits often as to the motives and objects of public men, which cannot be found elsewhere."— CROKER'S NEW WHIG GUIDE. Wo. 197. SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 12, 1835. Price One Penny THE COWARDLY MINISTERS. IN another part of this day's FIGARO we have alluded rather bluntly— that is to say, rather sharply— to the miserable vacillation and pitiful tergiversation of the Ministers, who, after blustering and threatening about what they would do if the Lords should refuse to sanction the Municipal Corporation Bill, very coolly con- sented to receive it from them with all its mis- called amendments, which we will call mutilations by way of glossary. The country seems to be rather surprised at what has taken place; but if the country will please to recollect, we alone, amid all the blarney that was going on about " supporting our upright ministry"— we alone, in defiance of all this rampant twaddle, coolly told the nation that there never would be any real quarrel between the enemies and the pretended friends of the people, but that, when it came to the last VOL. IV. moment., the dastardly Commons would take back the mutilated Bill, and the plundering, lying, paltry Whigs would still remain in possession of all their ill- gotten patronage. The question now is— not " what is to be done with the Lords?"— that question is, for the present, adjourned; we only know, that if we were the people we should not be very long in deciding " what is to be done with the Ministers The manner in - which ( heir vile party is con- tinually betraying the country, ought long ago to have opened the eyes of that idiot incarnate John Bull, who can do nothing ' but. open his wide and stupid mouth to bellow out when he receives any hurt, and to bluster when accident puts him in possession of a transient victory. Such a thorough brute, thorough fool, and thorough knave, never could have been created, as this John Bull — so brave, so wise, and so honest, according to the self- bestowed praises with which the poor besotted old beast is continually be- sliming himself. The specimens of the manner in which he can be humbugged are so extremely numerous, that it is quite ridiculous to dwell further upon any circumstances intended to prove such a very palpable fact as John Bull's complete idiotcv. Every body knows how meetings were called here, there, and every where, to insist on the passing of the Municipal Reform Bill, unimpaired by the Lords. Every little pot- house had its nasty little knot of dirty little patriots, swearing over filthy little pots of small ( horridly small) beer, that they ( the dirty little pa- triots) would die in defence of the Bill. And how has it all ended? Will any of them die ? No, they'll be d— d if they do— and so they will die, and be d— d both, in the course of time, but not in the cause of political consistency or integrity. We hate these meetings— not because we think public meetings useless, but because we happen to know the men composing them. A fellow, for instance, who would get himself shoved into the chair Ay the aid of his pot companions, and would stammer out something about independence, may be only talking to get hold of a parish job, and while the fellow talks ( stupidly enough in all probability) about the cause of liberality and abolition of tyranny, he may be, W. Strange, 21, Paternoster Row. 152 FIGARO IN LONDON. 179 in his own domestic circle, the greatest ruffian, bully, and tyrant that ever triumphed over his footboy, or boldly scattered his children, poker in hand, laying it valiantly over the heads of sons and daughters with a bmvery equally honourable and indiscriminate. Such are often the fellows who meet to talk of humanity— such are often the fellows who meet to talk about firm resistance to the public enemy. As we predicted, these meetings have failed of their effect; for the Ministry, contemptible as that is, could not for a moment be influenced, much less intimidated, by a crew much more contemptible. However— to return to the subject of our caricature— when it came to the last moment, that the Whigs must either make up their minds to abandon their places or abandon their country, they did not for a moment hesitate— of course not; according to old cus- tom, they stick ( o place, leaving the country to go to the devil, where, by the bye, the Ministers are eventually quite sure of re- joining it. It is now too late for us to give a few wholesome hints about the Lords; and though it was not last week too late, the stupidity of the public has rendered too late our warning against the Ministers. We knew them, and the result has justified all our suspicions, which were founded on long observation of public men in general, but of the rascally Whigs in particular. The press too has turned round again ; but that is nothing new, and we expected it, just as the people feels confident in the unbought ardour, zealous honesty, and unflinching advocacy of FIGAKO IN LONDON. THE PROROGATION. Previous to this week's number getting into the hands of the people, his Majesty will have been in person to prorogue the Par- liament, and we have great pleasure in stating- what arrangements were made for the conduct of the ceremony. His Majesty's wash- erwoman was ordered to put an extra haporth of starch into the royal shirt- collar; and, altogether, there seemed to be a vigorous determination in the royal household to turn out the Sovereign in a style such as would not disgrace the wardrobe of the King; while the Queen had privately sworn that her husband should, on that day at least, look " as great a buck as ere a one of them." His Majesty sate up the whole of the night studying his speech, which he wrote out at least forty times, the better to impress it on his memory. The hard words were, in the kindest manner, dtunned into the royal sconce by the valuable assistance of Sir Herbert Taylor, who did every thing in his power to assist the general ob- ject of the Court, which was, that the King should, on this im- portant day, cut the very best figure possible. The other journals, • which confine themselves to dry matters of detail, will put the pub- lic in possession of the mere dry facts which attended the pro- ceedings of. the day in question; but we have given above some of those recherche and interesting domestic particulars which we alone have access to, and which are utterly without the scope of the enquiries of less fortunate journalists. INTERPRETER. Collusion, not Collision. We believe that we were the first, and indeed the oidy portion of the press, to denounce the humbug of a conference between Lords and Com- mons. We said, a week or two ago, that though every body was crying out that there must. be a collision between the Houses, we strongly sus- pected it would end in the old result— that is to say, a collusion to rob the people of its rights, and, in fact, to go through for about the millionth time the old ministerial farce of Bamboozling the community. From our peculiar sources of information, we knew what would be done; and the result of Monday night has shewn that our predictions were not ill founded. The Commons have agreed to the Lords' amendments. After all the bluster and patriotic bombast that was set up on the subject— after all the determination expressed to stand by the Bill as they passed it, the mean- spirited, Ministry- ridden, humbugged, and degraded Commons have sacrificed their oath, and ( but that they have none) would have sacrificed their honour and principle. Sir John Hobhouse, before he was a Mi- nister, recommended " locking up the Commons, and throwing the key into the Thames'' Now we strongly advise throwing the members them- selves into the Thames, and their leaden heads will carry them all snugly enough to the bottom. St James's parish swore it would die before it mould see the bill lost. These pudding- headed, pusillanimous, and paltry patriots had better give up the ghost at once ; for we do believe, if any thing tended to lose the Bill, it was the contempt engendered by these idiots resolving upon having it. The Crisis! That there is a crisis coming on every body seems to imagine; but there seems to be a great variety of opinion as to the means of averting it. One grand expedient seems to be the calling of public meetings, and ! the wholesale transmission of deputations to the Ministers. Now public meetings are, to a certain extent, all very well; but such meetings as one or two that have lately taken place will not, we fear, do much towards retarding the anticipated explosion of all our institutions in the grand volcano of a revolution. Here and there a parish, full of the most exu- berant patriotism, takes it into its parochial pate to congregate itself for the purpose of asserting popular right, and spouting bad grammar, which it gets printed in the papers by means of a bribe to the penny- a- liners. This is not, however, precisely the mode of saving the country which we should recommend, because we do not think there can be any weightjat- tached to what falls from the mouths of ravenous lawyers, and swindling shopkeepers, whose only objection to a system of plunder is, that they are not able to get sufficient of the spoil by their own pettifogging practices. Then, too, the proceedings at such meetings only lay open to ridicule the party they pretend to serve. Who, for instance, can be in the smallest degree affected by being told, in very indifferent English, " that the coun- try is in danger"— a sentiment accompanied by a dull, stupid, ignorant, and stammering speech, about the determination of this or that parish to carry out the principles of the Reform Bill. We recommend that, at the next of these farces, the mob should enter, disperse the meeting, and kick the chairman back to his office, to make out writs, and not neglect his private affairs by meddling with politics, which he can't understand, and which are only degraded by his attempt to meddle with them. WINCHESTZRIANA. No. 2. " I understand," said the King of the City, " that frequently men in business, who are thought to be carrying everything before Ihem, run away from their creditors, leaving nothing behind them." At this sally, Hobler went into a well managed hysteric, from which he was only released by the Mansion- House fire engine, which played upon him for half an hour by way of restorative. " Which of the French kings," cried the Lord Mayor, " was the greatest beast that ever breathed." " ' Pon mv soul," responded Hobler, " all kings are so much alike, that 1 scarcely know the difference." " Treasonable sound," shouted the cockney monarch, the greatest beast was Louis the 14th, for was he not called by his people Louis Cart- horse ( Louis Quaterre).'' Hobler gave a sincere groan, and spent the remainder of the day in prayer, penitence, and fasting. " Why am I not an ass, as the people say I am," cried Win- chester. " Because I'm a mayor ( mare)," he replied to his own question. " And, egad, that's the only reason,*' silently ejaculated the sensitive toadeater. THE COCKNEY COURT. His Majesty, King Winchester, humdrummed about the precincts of Tooley- street for some time yesterday in a hired cab. Hig con FIGARO IN LONDON. 179 deseension to the driver was extremely remarkable, and ended in their joint destruction of a pint of half- and- half. Alderman Harmer gave a select mutton- chop party on Thursday. It was attended by nobody. Hobler gave a ministerial breakfast on Saturday. A long dis- cussion arose, as to selling the Lord Mayor's mace, and spending the money in black puddings. The motion was ultimately nega- tived. on a division, by a majority of four men to one boy, who was decidedly agog for the luxury. Alderman Harmer had his brains completely dashed out yes- terday. He has been much better since the fortunate accident. COURT CIRCULAR. His Majesty blew his nose for several moments yesterday in Windsor Park. The royal proboscis was rendered rather rubicond by the operation. The Queen was observed yesterday to be affected with a slight squint, but later advices have pronounced her vision to be in its usual state of slap- bang- ishness. His Majesty, while walking yesterday in the grounds about the Palace, encountered an old bantam hen, with which he conversed for some minutes most affably. The peculiar tone of his " Tuch, ttich, tuch," seemed thoroughly intelligible to the fortunate bird, who was so courteously made the mark of royal favour. The Queen granted a long interview to a Tom- cat, kept as an antidote to the rats in the royal stable. THE OVERSEERS AND THE POOR LAWS. We believe that almost every body, the Whigs excepted, ( and they, by the bye, are just now nobody) is agreed upon the palpable fact that the New Poor Law Bill passed last session, is one of the most cruel, unfeeling, ferocious, and truly Whiggish measures that ever passed the two Houses of Parliament. The only fellows who dare to speak in its favour, are those ruffians called Parish Reformers, who would grind the poor to death, if they could claim the merit of saving sixpence per year to the rate payers. It may be all very fine of these fellows to boast of their reforms and retrenchments, but we cannot estimate that kind of liberality which takes the wretched crust from the mouth of the famish- ing pauper to put an extra halfpenny into the pockets of the rapacious rate payers This kind of system may be reform for the grasping and unfeeling householders, but it is right down robbery and cruelty beyond measure towards those poor wretches who are reduced to live on paro- chial charity." These observations have been suggested by a case that appeared in Wednesday's Times, by which we find that a tailor, called Stamford, livins in Oxfoid Street, or Holborn, refused to continue to a poor woman an allowance of 2s. per week, because he thought he should compel her to relinquish her claims on the parish altogether, by endeavouring to force her into the workhouse. How a parish, for the sake of a few paltry shillings, can entrust its affairs to the hands of an unfeeling ruffian like this, we cannot conceive, for it throws a reflection on all its inhabitants, and brings the parish itself into the greatest odium. We recommend other parishes to take care that barbarity is not practised under the name of Reform by their new and liberal vestrymen. BREVITIES. The article relative. Lord John Russell is called the father of the Reform Bill. He is just now cuusining ( coseningj the Reformers. A double entendre Some of the Whig patriots are said by their parasites to have fought the battle of Reform almost single- handed. It would be as well for the pub- lic if they had been single- pocketed. A non- working Bill There is one Bill that it is impossible to judge of by its working. We mean our old friend King Bill, for he is " the chap wot never works" Twiss- ting a Joke. " 1 understand that the Peerage of Earl Grey is of very recent date," said Twiss to Sugden. The ex- Irish Chancellor, seeing it was merely a pun- trap, only gave a slight sneer. '• 1 repeal," said the undaunted Twiss, " it is a very recent peerage, for it is said he has grown Grey in political labours." THEATRICALS. The English Opera company, under the management of a committee of the performers, has prospered, so far, much better than under the direction of Mr. Arnold, though it is very seldom indeed that ill theatrical affairs a republic is found to answer so well as a monarchy. It is much to the credit of the actors, forming the committee in question, that they have succeeded so well. They are Messrs. Wrench, Wilson, J. Bland, Wil- liams, and Salter— so that the acting, as well as the vocal portion of the company, has each a fair share of representatives. The management, on Saturday last, brought out two new pieces— the one an adaptation of Mercadante's opera, ' Elisa e Claudio,' and the other a farce from the piratical, pen of Dr. M illingen, who divides his time between turning English pieces into French and French pieces into English. We presume we must not find fault with the company for bringing out a foreign oper;,, since Mr. Arnold has set the example ; but we should have thought that the signal failure of ' La Sonnambula' would have been a good lesson t • them, and have proved, what we always knew, that English singers can- not do justice to foreign operas. Our opinion was confirmed on Saturday night by the mangling of Mercadante's beautiful composition, which was not only horridly sung in all but two of its parts, but the music of it seems also to have been adapted by an individual who knows nothing of the Italian opera. Movements that should have been quick were andanta- nised into slow, and adagios were hurried on at about the rate of a rail- road, while the singer tried to hurry even faster than the orchestra, like a dog with a tin tea- kettle at his tail— the vocalist being ( with all due de- ference) the dog, and the accompaniment of the band being ( with equal deference) the tin tea- kettle. With respect to the singing, we have already said it was, with two exceptions, all bad. Wilson, with all his talent for ballads, cannot sing Italian music— Templeton beats him hollow at it; though Wilson has a very sweet and powerful voice, if he only had the knack of using it. Dr. Johnson has said that " gold which he cannot use makes uo man rich," and we say that " a voice which he cannot controul makes no man a good singer." Mr. J. Bland had nothing to sing, and he did it remarkably well. The ladies were all horridly incompetent; in- deed, since Miss Romer has got tied up in the matrimonial noose with Moore's, the hatter's, man, the English Opera has not a female singer worth listening to. A word, en passant, on Miss Romer's marriage. We trust she will find the matrimonial duet as agreeable as she hopes for; and trust the hatter's man ( who of course set one of Moore's military caps at her) will make as good a husband as she can wish fur. There was a report Moore himself was the happy man, but it turned out to be his man, and not Moore himself, though we trust the song, " Cest la Moore ( lamour), la Moore ( lamour), & c. & c." will be equally applicable. We, however, must regret ail arrangement which deprives us of one of the very few good English singers we possess, and we never felt her absence so much as on Saturday. The part of Elisa was entrusted to Miss Somerville, a young lady of some musical talent, but of by no means a first, or even second- rate order. Her voice is weak, her execution by no means brilliant, and her singing is devoid of any con- siderable share of either grace or feeling. She never once seemed to enter into the part she was playing: she asked for pity just as a laundress would ask for the settlement of a washing bill; and gave vent to indignation just as a defenceless and virtuous housemaid would repel the advances of a Reffent- street shopman. She, however, is not without musical ability ; but she wants more voice, and much more feeling, to enable her to tive effect to the music of an Italian opera. Miss Healy is worse than Miss Somerville : she has all her defects, without the solitary advantage of experience that the other possesses. Miss P. Ilorton has some tact in music, but she has a little voice and a bad style. The unpleasant mo- notony of her speaking voice is a violent drawback to any interest her acting might inspire. Her part, however, being the least important of the three, she deserves the most praise, because, having less to undertake, the charge of inefficiency cannot be brought against her so strongly as against her two companions above- mentioned. We now come to the pleasing part 154 FIGARO IN LONDON. of our duty— the praise— which we can bestow in an almost unqualified manner upon Messrs. Giubilei and Stretton, the latter making his first ap- pearance before a London public. These two gentlemen were infinitely superior to all around them. Giubilei is already favourably known to the public as a good bass singer af the Italian school, and he acquitted him- self very admirably in the buffo part assigned to him. Mr. Stretton, of the Royal Academy, made his first appearance on the London stage in the character of the Marquis. He has evidently studied in an excellent school: his voice is a good and rather powerful bass ; and indeed, altogether, he is a decided acquisition to the English Opera. With these two exceptions, the opera was, we regret to say, exceedingly ill performed; for however well tlie musical abilities of the company may be calculated to shine in little Scotch ballads and trifling English songs, there is not one of them, but Messrs. Giubilei and Stretton, that can do j ustice either to Mercadante or any other Italian master. The new piece, called ' The Schoolmaster at Home,' is a literal translation by Dr. Millingen, who, be it known, is a great man at the Authors' Society. It was admirably acted in by Wrench and Williams ; but without their support it would have been rather a sorry set out. Drury Lane, it has been said, is not sure of opening at Easter, and re- port has even gone so far as to say that it is not quite settled that Bunn will have the property. This we do not believe, for we think he has se- cured it. Rumour has assigned Covent Garden to various individuals, none of whom are we suspect destined to take it. We are told a poor old maniac, [ named Garthwaite, has his eye upon it; and that Bartley has offered to leave his watch and seals with the proprietors, as collateral se- curity, if they will let him have it. They are, however, a great deal too much upon the watch to do so, and the seals have made 110 impression in his favour. The winter campaign commences about the end of this month, though • we have heard of nothing extraordinary, in the way of novelty, at any one of the Theatres that will then be about opening'. Vestris has quarrelled with Mr. Charles Dance, and will, we understand, not have the services of Mr. Planche, who has been bought up by Bunn, to avoid his aiding the Olympic by his abilities. Madame will consequently be in a bit of a mess for authors, though we believe the Society has on hand a more than usual stock, which its members will be ready to dispose of for anything that they can get hold of. The butter market being rather low, has completely shut out the society from the very large and ready sale which they for- merly got for their pieces, which used to be briskly purchased at twopence per pound, until a failure in the Dorset firkins has prevented the butter- merchants from giving the sum they used for it. This has shaken the Dramatic Authors' Society to its very basis, and unless some liberal but- terman comes forward the Society, it is much feared, will go to the dogs, as the manuscripts have increased to a frightful pitch, and starvation may possibly be the cry among the luminaries alluded to. A new piece, called ' Zarah,' was brought out on Monday at the Queen's Theatre, where at least it cannot be said that there is any lack of novelty. Mrs. Nisbett played a part in the piece ( which is very short) with truly excellent effect; while Mitchell, Green, and Selby, all made the very most of not very striking characters. The getting- up is creditable to the li- berality of the management, and the taste of Mr. Mitchell, to whom the bills assign the direction of the drama. We think it likely that this little piece will be productive to the treasury of the Queen's, which seems, with extreme propriety, to have knocked aside the affair to which we have once or twice made allusion, and which report had attributed to Mister William Collier. John Reeve has left the Queen's, and is going to America, where, if he wishes to draw good houses, he must refrain from drawing corks. The Victoria, it is said, re- opens on the 21st of September with a look- ing- glass curtain. Mr. H. Wallack is to be the stage- manager ; and Mr. Vale is also, we understand, engaged. Both, and particularly the latter, are favourites on the other side the water, so that they are desirable ac- quisitions to the company. The greatest success appears to attend the Surrey management, and its nautical novelties, we are told, attract crowded houses. Vauxhall is about to close, after an extremely dull season, enlivened onlv by Green's balloon ascents, Simpson's bows, and a sort of hectic hottled- porter- like gaiety in the countenance of the visitors. The Italian singers have been singing there for a night or two, but the audiences were not numerous, and they all took a most impressive oath, amid the growl of drum^ and the flourish of a cracked flageolet, that they never would again sing in the arcadian recesses of Vauxhall. not for all the suppers of inferior ham and diluted punch that the proprietors can treat them with. The entertainments have been this week visible at a shilling a head, and London has disgorged into the Gardens at least one half of its filth, and nearly all its vulgarity. TO CORRESPONDENTS. The triumphant arrival of FIGARO at the TWO HUNDREDTH NUMBER, is an epoch in the annals of wit that requires a celebration of no ordinary kind. Seymour, with an enthusiasm that will be readily appreciated by the public, has put Bis gigantic SHOULDER TO THE WHEEL, and has been for some time busy with a batch of SIX CARICATURES ! to adorn that number. On former occasions of this kind, how many a tearful eye has betrayed the disappointment of some would- be purchaser, whom a too eager forestalling, by more prompt subscribers, of an almost unlimited supply, has cheated of his promised enjoyment. In plain words, though the number we print is almost beyond calculation, yet those who buy on these occasions are, in amount, far beyond even the comprehensive limits of Walker's Arithmetic. Country booksellers, in particular, must take care that their orders COME EARLY! ADVERTISEMENTS. THE LIBERT? OF THE PRESS. Now publishing, Eight Quarto Pages for One Penny, AN ADDRESS to the PUBLIC on the RECENT SEIZURES of the UNSTAMPED NEWSPAPER PRESS, in which is given the whole of Lord Brougham's celebrated Pamphlet, " WE CAN'T AFFORD IT." With an Engraving. The friends of freedom are earnestly requested to lend their aid in circu- lating this Pamphlet. London : Wakelin, 1, Shoe- lane, Fleet- street, and all Booksellers in Town and Country. This day, price One Penny, O'CONNELL'S LETTER to the DUKE OF WELLINGTON. From the Morning Chronicle of Sept. 9, 1835. " Some men achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them."— Shakspeare. Published by W. STRANGE, No. 21, Paternoster Row ; and Sold bv Wakelin, late Cleave, 1. Shoe- lane ; Purkess, Compton Street, Soho ; Lewis, Manchester Cooper, Birmingham; Mrs. Mann, Leeds; Hey wood, Manchester; and all Booksellers. THE FINEST BEAVER HATS, 21s. BEST BEAVER HATS, lis. 6( 1. SUPERB GOSSAMER HATS, 12s. The above are manufactured of the most choice materials, and finished in the highest style of fashion— they never spot with rain nor lose their shape. FRANKS AND CO.. Sole Patentees and Manufacturers. a, , 140, Regent Street, West. London 62; Re5cross Street, City. K| Paris ... 97. Rue Richelieu. Edinburgh. 6, St. Andrew Street. Dublin . 3, Sackville Street. N. B.— Franks and Co. are the only Manufacturers who really supply the Public the Wholesale Price. BEAVER HATS, good, 12s., usually charged 14 « . Do. Do. belter, 15s., do. 18s, Do. Do. - best, 21s., do. 26s. The combined good qualities or W. WILKINSON'S BEST HATS are so well known as scarcely to need comment ; their beautiful colour, style, short nap, lightness, and durability, far surpass any thing ever before offered to the public; in short, it is impossible to bring Hats to greater perfection than W. W. has succeeded in doing. The choice of Shape will be found larger than at any other Establishment in London Best Livery Hats, 18s., will resist any weather. A good assortment of Youths' and Boys' Hats and Caps at moderate prices. W. WILKINSON, 80, STRAND, near Salisbury Street. Printed and Published ( for the Proprietor) by W. STRANGE, 21 , PATERNOSTER ROW.
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