No, 194. SATURDAY, AUGUST 22, 1835. Prioe One Penny FIGARO IN LONDON. THE WHIG BUDGET ! SEYMOUR has this week taken an early opportunity of pouncing upon Spring Rice, whose Budget has quite equalled the ideas that were formed of it bv those who know the character of a Whig Government. After a long rigmarole about figures, which would have done credit to a first class charity- bov, he began talking about surplus, minus, maximum and minimum • in fact, the whole speech was a delightful specimen of flummery, mummery, and humbug- gummery. Notwithstanding the considerable prattling about li berality, with which the Whigs are constantly favouring us, we did not expect their Budget would realise any of the hopes which the too credulous were apt to indulge upon the subject of a reduc- tion in taxation. We, who knew how much value to set upon Whig promises, never expected from the Budget anv thing beyond VOL. IV. a general wish to humbug the community, by mixing up the words, " Prosperity, reduction, and income," with the usual share of figures out of Walker's arithmetic. A little right down absurdity we certainly were prepared for, and in this the Whigs have not dis- appointed us. It is true that the shepherd's dogs are not the grand subject of the Budget, as on the memorable occasion of Lord Althorpe's figuring as a financier, but, as if he had been holding a conference with all the mudlarks and bone- grubbers in England, he has resolved to take the duty off flint glass, a measure which is of the utmost importance to the marine store- shops. By this wise financial scheme, the maid- servants will get so much less for the old medicine bottles at the rag- shops,— an arrangement which Mr. Spring Rice seems to think will give the utmost satis- faction to the whole community. What lady's- maid has got hold of Mr. Spring Rice to effect this singular fiscal manoeuvre we can- not possibly conceive; but we are quite sure it is only the rag and bottle- shop proprietors that will be at all benefitted by the plan proposed by the Ministers. The next grand boon is to the gin- shops, for the duty on spirit- licences is to be lowered, an arrange- ment that must be highly satisfactory to that purnerous class of gentry who take their goes of gin every half hour at the doors of the various gin- palaces. This will certainly be a most desirable thing for those who enjov their penn'orths of gin atElphick's; but we doubt very much whether it is a scheme that will give much satisfaction to the public at large, or add materially either to the stability or to the respectability of the Government. As to re- moving the taxes on knowledge, that seems to be out of the ques- tion— principally perhaps on the ground that, as legislators never tax themselves, knowledge is taxed, and ignorance goes free from any impost. But the grandest point in Spring Rice's speech is that which Seymour has used with the strongest gout, and which, in referring to the agricultural interest, calls the new Poor Law Bill a remedy for the distress of the class alluded to, This joke is so good, that Seymour's pencil, far better than our pen, must be looked to for the illustration of it. If it be aplaister for the poor, it is indeed such a plaister as the Burkers were accustomed to use, Printed by G^ Cowie, 13, Newcastle- street, Strand. Satire should like a polish'd razor keen, Wound with a touch that's scarcely felt or seen.— LADY MONTAGUE. " Political Pasquinades and Political Caricatures are parts ( though humble ones,) of Political History. Tliev supply information as to the person and habits often as to the motives and objects of public men, which cannot be found elsewhere."— CROKER'S NEW WHIG GUIDE. 140 FIGARO IN LONDON, in stifling the complaints of their victims. For any further com- ment on the Whig Budget, we refer our readers to the caricature, which shows up several of the very nicest points in this magnificent mountain of mockery. INTERPRETER. A Cool Minister. " In the House of Lords, Lord Londonderry'adverted to the fact of various Englishmen having been shot by the decree of Don Carlos, and asked when it would be convenient to the government, that he should put his questions on this subject— Lord Melbourne replied on Monday next."— Morning Herald. Really Englishmen ought to be excessively obliged to the Govern- ment for its early and most benevolent attention to their interests at home, since the consideration of them takes precedence of all thought, even for the lives of their countrymen abroad. Intelligence arrives that the English are being shot wholesale, by the monster Don Carlos, in Spain, and Lord Melbourne on being called on to state the intention of the Government respecting the wholesale murder of its subjects abroad, coolly replies, " Don't bother me now, but I'll speak to you next Mon- day." This is a delightful consolation for those who have relatives in Spain, and it is at least consoling to know that Lord Melbourne will condescend to open his mouth upon the subject next Monday. Of course a few fathers, husbands, and brothers will of necessity be knocked off in the interim, but still we ought to think ourselves extremely lucky in having a minister who will deign to think about such minor consi- derations as our lives, when he can occupy himself so much more interestingly to himself with our properties. A Sagacious Member.? Sir J. N. Reid observed that legislation had done all the injury to trade, and that if there were no legislation on the subject for the next four years, it would be a national benefit.— Parliamentary Report. If ever a sentence deserves to be printed in letters of gold, it is the one we have just quoted. We never had the pleasure of meeting with this Sir J. Reid before, but he is none the worse for that, since the greatest honour a Member of Parliament of the present day can safely aim at is " not to be known;" for all those who do happen to be known have, for the most part, the best reason to wish the contrary, at least if reputation be an article they set the smallest value on. But Reid's speech is replete with wisdom, short though it undoubtedly is ; but we have not for some time seen a parliamentary effusion so worthy of at- tention as the one in question. It is a decided assertion that legislation is utterly useless; and when we consider what sort of an article modern legislation is, we must admit, never was utterance given to a truer sen- timent. We only regret that he did not substitute the word " whatever" instead of the words, " for the next Jour years." The sentence then would have been one of the finest pieces of wisdom that ever proceeded from the lips of an orator. We shall ourselves move the amendment, and carry it without a division; be it enacted, therefore, that the sentence stand thus:—" If there were no legislation whatever, for the next four years, it would be a national benefit." Royal Confirmations. Prince George of Cambridge was confirmed yesterday in St. George's Chapel.— Court Circular. During the last few weeks we have had two royal " confirmations— namely, that of the Princess Victoria and Prince George of Cambridge — both of whom, considering the company of Tory sycophants they have been brought up in, must have been a dreadful charge indeed to their respective godfathers and godmothers. We really trust that having, as it were, surrendered to their heavenly bail, and appeared to the cognovit entered into at their baptism, they will take upon themselves to act as their conscience tells them is right, and not remain, as we fear they have been hitherto, nothing but confirmed Tories. This release of their spiritual bail must be a great blessing to their holy securities, for a court is not quite the place to bring up children, ia a manner to keep tranquil the minds of such persons as have, as it were, accepted holy bulls , in behalf of princess, princeses, and other little lumps of oryalty. We congratulate the godmothers, & c. on being well out of a bit of a scrape, and we only trust for their own sakes, that now they have started Chris- tians on their own account, the young couple will avoid bad company. T H E C I T Y BUDGET. This important measure was brought forward in the Common Council last Monday by Mr. Alderman Wilson, the Chancellor of the Cockney Exchequer. The worthy Alderman took, in the course of his speech, a rapid view of all things in general, with an elaborate inquiry into nothing in particular- He had carefully calculated upon a slate how many times four red herrings would go into a sack of coals, and had ably di- vided a barrel of oysters by a dozen of mackarel. He had likewise calculated how many glasses of gin were contained in a quart of that turpentine- like liquor, and had very cleverly multiplied two bottles of ginger- beer by twenty- four pounds of pickled salmon. Altogether, the worthy Chancellor of the Cockney Exchequer had got into so perfect a muddle in his calculations, and had managed so thoroughly to flustify the citizens, that in the House of Commons itself the thing could not have been done better for taking in the multitude. The Alderman pro- posed to take the taxes off clean shirts— which, he observed, produced nothing in the city— and lay it on the tips of noses; so that this fiscal enactment should fall equally upon every class of the community. He proposed a partial reduction in the duty on dogs- meat; and, in order to supply the deficiency to the cockney revenue, he intends putting a small duty on stale jokes,— an intention which has given the greatest offence to the whole of the civic aristocracy. Upon declaring the surplus re- venue in hand to be fourteen shillings and two- pence, a vote instantly passed for spending it on the spot in rum and sausages. ANOTHER INFERNAL MACHINE ! ( From our own Correspondent.) Tooley- street, 4 p. M. Tooley- street is upside down— the City is in commotion— King Winchester has had an attempt upon his head— the brave Hobler is in the mud— the beadle is on the top of him—- a wheelbarrow is on them both— the Queen is in hysterics, and the young Princes are in at Thomp- son and Fearon's drinking bumpers of gin ( terribly neat) to the pre- servation of their parent. : if Bo y.' ut. 3; ij ^ aiXM) Tooleystreet, 5 P. M. Now that my feelings are more calm, I write you an account of the dreadful occurrences of this morning, which plunged all the city in grief and Hobler in the gutter. You know that this was the day King Win- chester was to review the nineteenth section of the J division of the City Police. Nature wore a shining aspect, and Winchester wore a new brown coat— the breeze cheerfully whistled down the borough, and the Cockney King whistled some of the favourite airs from the Catnach collection, as he alternately walked, hopped, skipped, and jumped towards the spot where the imposing ceremony of the day was to take place. Every thing seemed to wear a smiling appearance; and the King leaped upon the donkey that was in waiting for him with an alacrity that, on like occasions, he has not always exhibited. His Majesty was in the act of receiving the nineteenth section of the J division, and of talking to an old veteran of the troop who had been a Bow Street officer, and had served in all the Lady Barrymore and Dando campaigns. Just as the king, surrounded by the gallant Hobler, mounted on a donkey from the royal stud, and in the midst of his brats, was offering his tobacco box to the veteran trooper, whom we have alluded to, a terrible noise was heard, and a volley of peas came in rapid succession from the right, scattering the police in all directions, and flooring Hobler and the beadle with the most frightful rapidity.— His Majesty, however, with his usual firmnpss, merely exclaimed, " Oh, crikey !" and thrusting his spurs into his donkey, waved his walking stick triumphantly in the air, tapped all his children briskly on their heads with it, and exclaiming, " wc are all right," continued the review among the most enthusiastic cheering of the assembled multitude. As soon as the first surprise had subsided, enquiries were made, and every eye was turned towards the spot whence the peas and the row had pro- ceeded. The two sides of a Waterloo cracker were picked up near the spot, and every body within a mile was taken into custody indiscrimi- nately, and let go again with that delicious inconsistency which always marks the proceedings at a crisis of this kind. The real criminal is, however, an aged coalheaver, who formerly belonged to the city watch, and whose cry has long openly been " wengeance and wiolence," while in private he has often been heard to say that " the day vould come vhen the nagabond Vinchester should be vopped, vollopped, and vound up." There is no positive reason assigned for the bloody attack, further than that he was refused the exclusive privilege of picking up FIGARO IN LONDON. 179 old bones add decayed cabbage leaves in the city thoroughfares. The villain was instantly thrust into a boy's jacket, in order to tighten him down, and prevent him from doing any further mischief. He, however, had succeeded in breaking a window before he was properly secured. It seems that the villain had his nose most thoroughly blown by the concussion of the Waterloo crackers, immediately under his left nostril— the wretch likewise was severely worried about the whiskers, by the reverberation of the touch paper against his chin. Of course a common council will be called upon the subject— the following proclamation has been issued :— Mansion House. COCKNEYS— A great row has been kicked up in the City— but your king will stick to you like wax, and while you stick to him like wax, we need never mind the whacks of our enemies. A great triumph has been achieved— the common council has behaved like a trump— in fact while I am supported as I am, I don't care a donkey's bray for all the Waterloo crackers and pea shooters in Christendom. ( Signed) WINCHESTER. A STRANGE CONNECTION. It is not generally known that the Whig and Tory leaders frequently meet in private, and that in social intercourse they admit the games that they are respectively playing. The other day, Wellington ( strange as it may seem) was talking to Melbourne, and the Minister was trying to persuade the Tory Duke to renounce his opposition, urging that they both had the same object, namely, " to humbug the people.'' " Pray," said Melbourne, " let us avoid a collision of the Houses, and settle the difference." " No, no," was the Duke's reply, " U and I ( you and I) make all the difference— U ( you) for collusion, I for collision." i noifTJ* to tfli v& ariH . BRE VITlES^ j^ d ni si n! Looking through a Glass. Mr. Spring Rice in taking the duty off glass, has done that which make3 it easy to see through the fallacy of his promises of retrenchment. niH vjsb& ri.* SKW eiil No Profit. .- j9jj The Duke of Newcastle is said to have remarked that " by whatever he had done in parliament he had never in any way profited."— Nor any one else either, he might have added. A Poor Debtor. Lyndhurst is said to have hailed the Imprisonment for Debt Bill with the greatest ecstacy in the Lords. He said he pitied those who could not pay their debts. A fellom feeling makes us wondrous kind. Reddy Wit. The papers are strongly opposed to removing the taxes on knowledge, for some of them very naturally think that if the stamp were taken off, they would lose the only part of their publication that has the slightest chance of being red ( read.) An Infernal Machine. " What's this infernal machine?" said Melbourne to Brougham.— " Upon my honour," said the double X Chancellor, " however formid- able it may be, no machine can be so infernal, in my opinion, as that they use for printing the Times newspaper." A Horrid Go. ' Tis said by some that the King goes with the House of Lords. Being particularly loyal, we hope his Majesty does not go with them, for every one can see that the House of Lords is rapidly going to the Devil. The Lord Harry. Lord John Russell has announced that it is the intention of the Go- vernment, next session, to separate the judicial from the senatorial func- tions of the Lord Chancellor. This is evidently to make room for Brougham in the ministry, who if he be a bad judge in court, is by no means a lad judge out of it. A Royal Jeu. His Majesty was the other day given to understand that his Ministers in his name have declared their desire to maintain an uniform system of peace. " By the brains of my father," cried his Majesty, " that can never be— for I will never allow a large standing army of soldiers in peace, and that is all they can mean by an uniform system." « A Decided Bull. The Queen of Spain at the late festivities of La Granja is said to have killed a Bull; the Pope it is expected will take it as personal. A rallying point. The Chronicle boasts that every where rich aud influential persons are rallying round Ministers. This we do not doubt, for we know they are every where surrounded by those who rally them for their dreadful imbe- cility and shameful inconsistency. THEATRICALS The theatrieal world is, from top to toe, in a state more deplorable than we ever knew it to be in. From the King's Theatre in the Haymarket, down to Mr. Tooke's celebrated histrionic coal- shed in the New Cut, all is ruin and bankruptcy. The other night ( the last of the Opera season,) the band refused to strike up till they got their money, and bank notes were the only notes they would be content to play from. The barn- like pro- ceeding, of ringing the bell frequently for the music, and no one entering- the orchestra, was gone through, much to the disgust of the subscribers, and the discredit of the establishment. Grisi made her final curtsey amid a shower of cos lettuces, which, under the name of wreaths, were chucked at her by the audience ; and in fact, as there is no supernumerary in the theatre, who has not some friend worth access to a dust- hole, every chorus singer got something, in the shape of an old turnip- top, or pea- pod, thrown at him from the gallery to grace his Adieu, after the example set by the leading vocalists. We think it is a pity these foreign singers cannot take their leaves without an accompaniment of cabbage- leaves, but it is fashionable, and of course the absurdity of the practice is thus ac- counted for. The season which closed on Saturday has, it must be con- fessed, been brilliant; but we doubt whether Laporte has profited much personally by the spirit of his management. His creditors likewise have reaped little from his success ; but having injudiciously set those blood- hounds— the lawyers— to worry him, they who look only to themselves have been taking from him, by every vexatious proceeding in their power, the money that of right should have gone into the pockets of their clients. It is the worst plan in the world for a creditor to strain the substance of his debtor through the pocket of his lawyer. Laporte's creditors have found out this when it is too late, and they are rightly served for their rapacity. There is some probability that Covent Garden will remain closed during the ensuing season, unless some spirited, individual, as the papers would call him, or, as we should more accurately describe him, some deluded maniac, should be found willing to give the exorbitant rent demanded for it. By the bye, every manager is called liberal and spirited who incurs liabilities he cannot meet, and he is, in newspaper phraseology, the most active Les- see who contrives to victimise his actors and tradesmen with the greatest rapidity. As there are so very few to whom this can possibly apply, of course there is not one who can take it as personal. Bunn has started a curricle, a new coat, and other externals, necessary to support the dignity of the lessee of Drury Lane, which for want of a better ( certainly not for fear of a worse) he still continues. Yates is to be his manager, and Bunn is to be merely himself, which will certainly be making his appearance in a new character, for he has not been himself during the last three years. Opera will be the principal attraction, and as Macready and < Mrs. Yates are the only engagements of any consequence that he lias formed, we may at least expect something new in the musical line. Macready is to play the principal tenor part in La Juive, and is to whistle the whole of the music. He is taking lessons every day under the conductor of one of the City omnibuses. The English Opera has opened on the responsibility of the company, as it could no longer be kept open under the non- responsibility of the manager.— A new piece called the Covenanters came out on the occasion, with a few Scotch airs stolen by. Mr. E. J. Loder, who made himself illustrious last year by robbing Auber and Herold, with the utmost sang froid, and calling the produce of his petty larceny a new opera. People cry out for an opera by Barnett or Bishop— the former is entitled to another hearing, his first effoit having so brilliantly succeeded; but as to Bishop attempting to write an opera to suit the improved taste of these times, the thing is impossible. Till we can get an English composer who understands the Italian style of composition 1 42 FIGARO IN LONDON we had rather, in spite of all the clap- trap about native talent, put up with the operas of foreign masters. The Queen's Theatre has produced a translation, called ' The Guardian Svlph,' which very much resembles ' The Mountain Sylph,' said to have been written by a Mr. Thackeray. This Mr. Thackeray is, or was, a member of the Authors' Society, and has been turned out because he did not write the piece to which he put his name; but if being a bona fide author were neces- sary to constitute a member of this crew, there is not one of the whole gang that would be qualified. Such a set of pilfering, translating, mangling, cut- ting, and illegally maiming personages, never were collected as are nominated in the printed list of members of this precious society. If it were worth our while, we could so thoroughly anatomise and pulverise the whole gang that public ridicule would follow them. As it is, the public cares nothing about them, and we therefore leave them to pass their resolutions in glorious ob- scurity, and eat their annua' dinner of steaks, onions, and small beer, the only substantial one, by the bye, that half of them get in the whole twelve- month. Sadler's Wells is, we believe, well attended; but it has an announcement in this week's bill that puts a person employed there in a peculiar position. It advertises a melo- drama, suggested by a heap of crimes, murders, and robberies, which the bill says also, further on, is a piece founded on fact by Mr. Dibdin Pitt. Now, we know that Mr. Dibdin Pitt has committed more murder with his pen than perhaps any living criminal on the plains of fools- cap, but that he should have gone so far as to have been guilty of facts on which to found a drama, full of every thing frightful, is rather more than we could have expected even from his well- driven fervour in the cause of revenge, retribution, red fire, row, rubbish, rant, and rigmarole. The piece is called ' The Ankle- Jack,' a species of shoe long since immortalised in these pages as the high- low ; but whatever it may be, if it has its foundation in " facts by Mr. Dibdin Pitt" ( as the bills say), why poor Pitt has put his foot in the 4 Ankle Jack* most undoubtedly. The Victoria will, it is said, re- open in a fortnight with a looking- glass curtain. We understand the company is to be a new one, and that the stage- manager is to be a Mr. Elliott. Such an arrangement is not likely to aid the Theatre much, for the blue fire and broadsword style of management is not at all the fashion in these days. It will, however, be as well to see the Theatre open, and give the new management a trial, before we begin to criticise. The underlings of the old company have taken a building near Stepney, where, with the aid of the ' Corsair's Revenge,' & c., audiences to the tune of about seven shillings are nightly found to congregate. Mitchell has returned to the Queen's, and was greeted with the most enthu- siastic cheers of the house, on re- appearing at this establishment. He played in the Dead Shot with all his accustomed excellence. The Clarence has opened again for about the 200th time with another new company. As we like to come at once to results, we can only refer our readers, for the upshot of this set out, to the Insolvent Court, to which the maniac who has embarked may probably add one in the course of the next sessions. We shall leave all further criticism to the clerks of that establish- ment. TO CORRESPONDENTS. The triumphant arrival of FIGARO at the TWO HUNDREDTH NUMBER, is an epoch in the annals of wit that requires a celebration of no ordinary kind. Seymour, with an enthusiasm that will be readily appreciated by the public, has put his gigantic SHOULDER TO THE WHEEL, and has been for some time busy with a batch of SIX CARICATURES ! to adorn that number. On former occasions of this kind, how many a tearful eye has betrayed the disappointment of some would- be purchaser, whom a too eager forestalling, by more prompt subscribers, of an almost unlimited supply, has cheated of his promised enjoyment. In plain words, though the number we print is almost beyond calculation, yet those who buy on these occasions are, | in amount, far beyond even the' comprehensive limits of Walker's Arithmetic. Country booksellers, in particular, must take care that their orders COME EARLY! Publishing in Numbers, price 2d. and in Parts price 6d. npHE ARABIAN TALES, with Elegant Engravings. Forming the Sequel to the ARABIAN NIGHTS ENTERTAINMENTS. The First Volume contains:— II Bondocani : or the Caliph Robher. The Power of Destiny, or the Story of the journey of Giafar to Damascus, comprehending the adven- tures of Chebib and his Family. Halechalbe and the Unknown Lady. Xailoun, the Idiot. Two or more numbers will appear weekly. PORTRAIT OF THE FRENCH KING. A NECDOTES OF THE SECOND FRENCH REVOLUTION. Embracing details of the Leading Occurrences in Paris, and Bio- graphical Sketches of the principal persons connected with them. Illustrated by Engra- vings. By William Carpenter. With Nos. I and 2 ( stitched in a neat wrapper, price Id. each^ is given a splendid Portrait of the French King. The Work is complete in 17 Numbers, price 1d. each, or bound in cloth, price 2s. STRANGER'S GUIDE. Complete in Eight Numbers, One Penny each, CRIMES OF LONDON IN THE NINETEENTH CENTURY. 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