FIGARO IW LOWPOM. " Political Pasquinades and Political Caricatures are parts ( though humble ones,) of Political History. Tbev supply information as to the person and habits often as to the motives and objects of public men, which cannot be found elsewhere."— CROKER'S NEW WHIG'GUIDE. LADY MONTAGUE. Satire should like a polish'd razor keen, Wound with a touch that's scarcely felt or seen.. No. 187. SATURDAY, JULY 4, 1835. [ Price One Penny. may rejoice at their liberation from the sin that doth so easily beset them, and set about seeking that godliness which ' is a great gain,' not in a worldly but a heavenly point of view. But how unwillingly do the venerable Bishops, and right reverend Deans, and very reverend Archdeacons, appear to separate themselves, from un^ hallowing lucre— still, still they cling to it, even through the blood and slaughter of a Rathcormac. The all- subduing Seymour, how- ever, appears to us to have given the coup- de- grace to the system, by this his noblest effort in his country's cause. But what will Ireland do without her protestant parsons ? to whom will she look for that melting charity, that constant placability, that un- biassed justice which Irish clerical magistrates were in the habit of distributing ? We wonder how our holy religion will prosper and advance without the fat liv'ngs and gorgeous benefices of the Irish Episcopacy. How dolefully will the reverend Mr. Tithem groan at being compelled either to give up his living, or preach to his parishioners ; and how must the fat old rectors of England tremble and shake in their arm- chairs, as they sit concocting a Sunday Sermon after the second bottle of port, at the near approach of their own fate. Alreadv has the proud farmer learnt by the change of times, not to think too much of himself; already have the sons at college, and the daughters at boarding- school been recalled to the field and to the kitchen, and soon will the rector be forced to do his duty, and compelled to make himself respectable previous to requiring respqft. The great day of the people is at hand--- The Sun of Reform is already rising. INTERPRETER. The Dorsetshire Labourers. " He had ordered that at the end of a very short time— namely, as soon as the men had been two years abroad— four of them should be at full liberty to return to England. If in addition to what he had already done in the case of these men, he should advise the Crown to grant a full and entire remission of the whole sentence, the effect would he that the original punishment would be considered illegal."— Lord J. Russell. Printed by G^ Cowie, 13, Newcastle- street, Strand. ASSISTING- THE CHURCH The pious Seymour will be immortalized as a second Luther— See how by a few strokes of his satiric pencil, he lays before the world the essence of the Irish Church Question, while our legislators have been beating about the bush on that very question during the last six months. Long, too long, have the heavenward aspirations of the Irish Bishops been tied and bound down to the grossness of earth and sensual desire, by the weight of worldly pelf, which thev have been obliged to carry with them. But now they VOL. IV. 112 FIGARO IN LONDON. Is not this commutation of the original sentence a virtual acknow- ledgement that they have been wrongfully condemned, and ought any false shame to prevent Lord J. Russell from granting that justice which is acknowledged to be the right of these injured individuals by men of all parties.— When punishments are awarded, not for the offence committed, but according to the circumstances of the time and the working of certain political ends, the purity of justice is poisoned at the fountain head, the province of a jury is invaded, and the judge becomes, not the instrument of justice, but the tool of the crown.— These men were found guilty of ad- ministering unlawful oaths ; but would such a heavy sentence have been passed upon them for a breach " of an unknown law, enacted for another object," had it not been for the fear entertained by the Whigs and Tories that the co- operation of the Working Classes in their Trades Unions, would teach the people the secret of their own strength, and then farewell to all monopolies of wealth and aristocracy.— Thus then, not for their own crimes, but for the fear of others, were the Dorsetshire labourers torn from their homes, and an injustice having been once committed, Lord J. Russell chooses to be consistent in doing wrong.— Had these poor fellows been gentlemen indeed— had they been members of Conservative Clubs, or Orange Lodges, then indeed some mercy would have been felt, some consideration would have been shewn to them. But who can expect that the wealthy Whigs or fat- pensioned Tories could feel any compassion for a labourer who only earns six shil- lings a week ? Without Foundation, A statement having appeared to the effect, that in consequence of Mrs • Da Lacy Evans's intended departure for the S > uth of France, and Colonel Evans to the north of Spain, " their house in Bryanston- square is to he let,' we are requested to mention that there is no foundation whatever f > r this latter statement, or for the inference from it that their absence was intended to be of a prolonged duration. The gallant Colonel expects it seems to make rather short work of it in Spain ; feeling as if he has merely got to go over and thrash the Carlists, and toddle home again. We hope he will find it so, and at all events, his activity proves that he does not deserve the title of the Lazy Evans into which his name of De Lacy Evans has been corrupted by the envious. Bv the bye, the para- graph above savours rather of the illiberal, for after speaking of the Colonel's house, it declares there is no foundation for it. If so, the house of the Spaaish Commander must be in a precious condition, and the sooner he sets out the better. We have heard of houses with rotten foundations ( the Parliament to wit) but a house with no foundation at all is a novelty in the science of building, for which we were not prepared. Humanity of Churchwardens. A case of extraordinary inhumanity was the other day brought forward at the Thames Police Office, in which it was stated, that for the want of three shillings a poor woman was forced to keep in the room with her^ starving family, the putrid corpse of a child, of which she was unable to pay for the burial. We have long been tired of talking of the humanity of Churchwardens, the vile creatures who fill the office consisting generally of those heartless wretches, of whom so ihany abound in the class known as comfort- able shopkeepers. Whether in the select or in the open vestries the barbarity of parochial officers in general seems to be equal, and it arises from the want of education and enlightenment, which keeps them in a state of degraded selfishness, feeling themselves perfectly satisfied so long as all their personal wants are satisfied. It is utterly ridiculous to talk for one moment of any hope of work- ing on the feelings of those obtuse wretches, but we do insist that there should be some most severe punishment for the tyran- nical and obstinate cruelty towards the poor of those who act in any official parochial capacity. The newspapers very injudiciously suppress the name of this barbarian, who is the Churchwarden of Ratcliff, and whom, if we knew by name, we would fearlessly brand as a stain upon the face of society. F r e a k s of a L u n a t i c. " The Broadway, Westminster, was on Sunday morning, during the hours of divine service, thrown into a complete state of uproar, in consequence of an eccentric individual, a man of considerable property, having taken it into his head to open a butcher's shop. Owing to his literally giving away the meat, the shop and the car- riage- way in front were crowded with a dense multitude, anxious to obtain a Sunday dinner, and being only a door or two from a great gin palace, " confusion became worse confounded;" but it was at last put a stop to by the lunatic proprietor ordering a very hand- some phaeton, into which he crammed the meat of which he had not disposed, and drove off to his country seat, in order to present it to the villagers."— The above paragraph has excited no little curiosity in our minds, and a decided avidity to know who the rich individual could be that thought it meet to start butcher, and who claiming the merit of benevolence in giving away joints, seems resolved to stand upon his legs of mutton for his character as a philanthropist.— It is seldom we hear of a rich man finding food for the poor, though taking it away is an accomplishment in which they have long excelled. We have been at some pains to discover who this facetious dispenser of the fleshy food could possibly be, and we have in turns thought of various individuals, but as yet have fixed on none decidedly. When we heard he was a lunatic, we very reluctantly thought at once of the Marquis of London- derry, but his butchering propensities made us rather turn our ideas to the Duke of Cumberland.— However, when we came to consider that benevolence was the great motive to the act, it was quite impossible that we could have for one moment entertained a feeling personal to either of those noblemen. A REAL PENNY- A- LINE PARAGRAPH. Remarkable instance of Virtue in Humble Life. The other morning as Lord Ellenborough was crossing the road from St. Giles', ( where his lordship had slept on the evening pre- ceding) an omnibus driven by the celebrated Conky Arthur rushed furiously accross his path, and his elegant lordship would have been infallibly crushed to death, had not a valorous crossing sweeper seized him by the hair, and dragged him from the dan- gerous vicinity of the enraged vehicle. His lordship, who well knows his own value, generously tendered a shilling to the pre- server of his life, which the honest Jack Rag indignantly refused, saying that he knew his lordship, and how he got his living, and no one shonld ever say that Jem Cleav'em ever fingered a shilling of his country's money. The noble lord was so annoyed at this reproof, that he sneaked off to the nearest cab stand, and spent the shilling in a rattle homewards. MR. ROEBUCK AND THE NEWSPAPERS. As we foretold, Mr. Roebuck has brought all the hornets of the press buzzing about his ears. A martial blast resounds from Print- ing house Square to Kensington, and Captains and Colonels, and Knights in Arms came rushing to the Pamphleteer demanding satis- faction. The newspapers appeared inclined to take advantage of the Order in Council suspending the Foreign Enlistment Bill, and to raise subsidies to repress this foray on their- privileged ground of abuse.— Only to think that any sacrilegious hand should dare to break the nose of ' the Times,' or accuse the immaculate purity of the Post, or laugh at the Chronicle, or quiz the Adverti- ser! Nav, even the Public Ledger, a poor little dull dirty thing, which stinks of tallow, and ' sales by the candle,' thought it neces FIGARO IN LONDON. 179 sary to flare- up; and accordingly the gallant editor of that hitherto unheard- of diurnal, chivalrously wrote a letter to Mr. Roebuck, and valorously put his name at the foot of it! Mr. Roebuck com- mits many mistakes, and too often but reflects the prejudices of the class into which he has worked himself; but he goes vigorously and honestly on with his task, and deserves support. At the same time we beg leave to inform Mr. Roebuck, that his continuous succession of Weekly Pamphlets come under the denomination of a Newspaper, by one of the Six Acts; and that he is liable to the caprice of the Stamp Office as to being sued for the heavy penalties inflicted by those odious enactments. How long will the ruin or fortune of individuals be left dependent on the will of subordinates who owe their places originally to some dirty baseness done for the Tory party when in power. We have seen in our own experience, energy, talent, industry, all paralysed; and conduct, character and credit all rendered vain by the blasting influence of these petty tools of Tory tyranny, who were allowed to remain in their places by the foolish kindness of the Whigs. One word to Mr. Roebuck, the joke at the expence of the reciprocal newspaper abuse, which he seems to consider a serious fact, and the authorship of which he attributes to ' The Twopenny Dispatch,' was originally published in FIGARO IN LONDON, and accidentally copied into that paper, without acknowledgement. CITY POLICE INTELLIGENCE. The gentleman who doctors up the Mansion- house reports for the daily newspapers, has contrived to infuse a portion of common sense and good English into the sapient dicta of the civic function- aries, so much that the magisterial wisdom has been supposed to be some way or other tied round with the chain of a Lord Mayor, and the justice- room is the Barataria where true judgment appears to be dispensed by each successive city Sancho. Unfortunately however, for the reputation of a Winchester, the truth will some- times force its way out, and an indefatigable correspondent, to whom we are under many obligations, has furnished us with a verbatim report of what took place one morning last week. Last Thursday, Mr. Ikev Solomon was charged before the Lord Mayor with defrauding Thomas Williams of a £ 5 note. The condescension of his lordship was particularly marked on this occasion, for as the prisoner was placed at the bar, his worship exclaimed in pure Billinsgate dialect—" Oh crikey, is that you, you'll get lagged some day or ' tother, old cove." The prisoner bowed at this compliment, which was much applauded by Mr. Hobler, ( as a matter of course.) Lord Mayor—" Well, old cock, what's this cove limbooed for." Thomas Williams—" Please your vorship, this chap Lord Mayor—" Stop there, complainant— This gentleman." Thomas Williams—'' Veil, this gemman hasks of me if I should be a liking to have a pot of summat snug. You know your vorship that e met me yisterday in Cow Cross- street. So ve vent to the Lord Mayor's Head." Lord Mayor—" I say, my old crony, we must gramp you for that disrespect of our court. I'll tell you if you come at me, I'll go at you ; so beware old bov." Thomas Williams—" Veil, your vorship, I never meant no wrong. So as we dropt our tin for the pot, I was a little fusticated. I shoves my morley into my gropus, and so help me tatur, as sure as wallnuts arnt prostitutes, my dibs and paper all started. Say's I to this here cove, now this is wery unansome. Says he blow me if I've as much as looked at the money. So I tells the land- lord, as to get an hofficer and presently in comes this gentleman, this G 28." Lord Mayor—" Oh my old cove is that you—( to the officer) Thomas Williams—" So I gives this gemman in charge, and the hofficer tells me he is one of the " reg'lars." " Lord Mayor—" Concise istory, well Hikey, what say you old covey." Ikey Solomon— May I never exist till I have pickt another gentleman's pocket, if I ever touched that young gentleman's money." Lord Mayor— V£ ll Mr. Williams, you sees how this charge of yours is met, there must be a lie somewhere, but I recommend that you withdraw, and settle the matter yourselves, by Mr. Williams paying the costs and treating Mr. Solomon with a drop of summat short, and £ 5 not to proceed further. His lordship shook hands with Mr. Solomon, and sent his compliments to his lady." MONEY MARKET AND CITY INTELLIGENCE. Friday, \ 9th June, 1835. The panic caused in the Money Market by a most extraordinary glut, and the necessary depreciation of Wapping Bonds, and Cheapside Securities, has in some degree subsided, and the market is growing gradually more healthy. We may quote Wapping Bonds at 2J to Hampstead Road newspapers of the 2nd January, to the eighth inclusive, have been received, but contain little intelligence of public interest. The new settlers in Mornington, are perfectly satisfied with the natives. It is expected that the Rev. Robert Taylor will be the new bishop, but the expected change in our government makes the matter very uncertain. We were highly delighted with receiving the first newspaper printed in Clapham, called " The Mercurie." It supports the existing govern- ment, and mentions the arrival of Admiral Fireland. The Lambeth papers are still due. Prices of Shares Sfc., Friday, 10th June. Tower Hill mining. . . 2| to| Hampstead Road Securities. 2£ Cheapside canal. . J 1 SomersTown. do. 2J America Square Bonds. . 21 | Lambeth. do. 21J Cutlar's Street. . .72 5 BREVITIES. Ever on the Watch. We arc requested to state that the gold watch stolen from the Athe naeum in the course of last week, was not stolen from the office of the periodical of that name, as such a thing as a gold natch was never seen in the seedy pockets of any one connected with tlut hum- drum e3tab- lishmn t. Gi ve the devil his due It is extremely unjust to deny to Lord Londonderry, whatever may be his political conduct, the credit of valour in the field. To our per- sonal knowledge he had a firm encounter the other day, with a blue bottle in one of hh own fields, and with extraordinary bravery, looked a blind donkey in the face for upwards of five minutes. Forlorn hope When the King heard that Colonel Evans was very gallant in the field, andhad led five forlorn hopes, the royal intellect was so thoroughly muddled that he could only exclaim " Good Evans, ( heavens')" and fell into the open arms of an adjacent house- maid. Another His Majesty on being told that the gallant Colonel Evans had been successful in no less than five forlorn hopes, instantly expressed a desire to have an audience of the valiant Colonel, and on his being presented sheepishly expressed a wish that he ( Evans,) would lead one more forlorn hope. " I want your gracious explanation," was the hero's reply, " Why, upon my soul," said the King, " the most forlorn hope I ever knew is to mend the temper of my wife Adelaide." The Colonel respectfully declared that such a hope was much too forlorn, and declared he would rather encounter a regiment of cossacks, than attempt to subdue a single white Serjeant. The King was greatly affected by this, but Sir Herbert Taylor restored the royal confidence by allowing the royal jaws to have a lengthy suck of a delicious lollipop! 122 FIGARO IN LONDON. PEOPLE'S POLICE REPORTS. Ernest Cumberland, a ferocious looking personage, between sixty and seventy, attended before Mr. Justice Beak to complain of the loss of his character. The complainant stated that his character was of no value to any one but himself, having been worn threadbare through constant use, but at the same time he did not see why he should be robbed with- out an attempt at reparation. The magistrate enquired how it happened that any one had thought it worth their trouble to steal any thing so apparently worthless. The complainant replied that he did not know, except it was a certain low fellow called Barnes, that drove the ' Times' omnibus, and who having lost his own character, thought a bad one was better than nothing. He said that he had been in Barnes' company, the other day, at the club, and that he had strong suspicions. The magistrate directed a search warrant to be issued. THEATRICALS. The past week has been dull enough in this way. Drury Lane is opened about once a month with ' Masaniello,' by way of novelty, and Covent Garden alternating between ' Fidelio ' and ' La Sonnambula.' The English Opera has dropped the ices, and we understand gives sub rosa goes of brandy, by way of substitute, for the weather has now become so provokingly cool, that as no one " Can hold burning fire in his hand By thinking of the frosty Caucasus." So, on the other hand, nobody can keep himself warm by looking upon poor Wilson's nose, though it does appear like a red hot heater ready to pop into a tea urn. We wonder in the cold weather that Wilson ( clever as he really is) does not find himself frequently greeted with an involuntary hiss, for anything red hot, like Wilson's nose, thrust suddenly into anything cold, ( like a bad house) will create a hissing sound as every body who knows it must understand perfectly. Poor Morris is giving a series of select evening parties, for which he issues invitations in the shape of orders for the Haymarket, but they seldom muster in greater numbers than about twenty in an evening. There are many clever points inBuckstone's performance of Paul Pry. He has conquered the great disadvantage of putting on, as it were, the second- band character and cast off clothes of another actor, and has made it an original character of his own. Every other performer since Liston, has made a failure in Paul Pry; the rich, overflowing humour of John Keeve was too unsubdued and riotous to represent a humoutist; and the restless vivacity of Harley caused Mr. Pry to appear rather more fidgetty than inquisitive. Buckstone's Paul Pry is < tn old maid in peiticoats; of an enquiring and insinuating disposition, watching a secret as a cat watches a mouse, and seeking afier knowledge of other people's business in holes and corners, and out- houses. Mrs. Nisbett's theatre, is we believe, tolerably well, and there is a new piece called ' Cupid in London,' playing there, in which Mrs. Honey enacts the part of Psyche, or Physie, as we once heard an eminent gem of the Tory party render this classical appellation. Selby's ' Married Rale' is the best thing they have done at this house, but such productions have been a great deal kept back by the lucubrations of a set of small paragraphing cads to stupid journals, who attempt to thrust their pieces on the management by promising bribes in the shape of puffs, which, by the bye, not being sanctioned by the proprietors of the journals, is a right down swindle of their employers, and nothing short of it. There is a journal not far from our office which is consi- derably victimised in this way, and as its respectability is involved, we warn the proprietors, that they have hirelings who resort to these practices. We need not mention names, but we , warn the parly in question, that his name shall come out if he continues to resort to these unjustifiable means of foisting his trash upon the various theatres in the metropolis. This person, finding Selby's clever pieces stand in the way of the production of his own twaddle, J has the vulgar and un- manly audacity to wreak his low vengeance, not on Mr. Selby, oh no ! there might be a return from that quarter, but on Mrs. Selby's unrivalled and splendid performance of Thisbe in the celebrated piece of ' Angelo,' now playing at the Victoria; then again this person believing ' Angelo ' to have been translated, as we also understand it is, by the author of the ' Roof Scrambler,' he dares to put forth his puny voice in opposition to the whole press, and squeak out with all the vulgar extacy of a pig over his wash trough, that' Angelo ' is not skilfully adapted to the English stage. But the best of all jokes, is the ignorant impertinence of his finding fault with the ' Roof Scrambler,' which it is unnecessary to say is certainly the most successful burlesque ever brought upon tbe stage. Envy we know will drive very little minds quite mad, and the cause of this person's insanity is the belief that the author of these bad pieces Ifas used his influence to prevent the Victoria stage being polluted by the unwholesome rubbish of the individual in question. As for the person himself, we should not have noticed the thing on his account, but we merely wish to warn his employers of those tricks, for it is bad policy to allow an employee at a few shillings per week, to hurt the character and credit of a journal professing devotion to the higher ranks of society. Mathews the comedian is dead, and it is most probable Yates will continue the Adelphi, as the differences between him and his partner were the alleged reasons of his desire to withdraw from it. It has been hinted that the Adelphi wfll pass into Peake's hands, but Richard Brinsley denies that he is to be the lessee, declaring with a most recondite pun, that " the less- he has to do with management the better." ADVERTISEMENTS. J3 EAVER HATS, good, 12s., usually charged 14s. Do. Do. better, 15s.. do. 18s. Do. Do. best, 21s„ do. 26s. The combined good qualities of W. WILKINSON- S BEST HATS are so well known as scarcely to need comment; their beautiful colour, style, short nap, lightness, and durability, far surpass any thing ever before offered to the public; in short, it is impossible to bring Hats to greater perfection than W. W. has succeeded in doing. The choice of Shape will be found larger than at any other Establishment in London. Best Livery Hats, ISs., will resist any weather. A good assortment of Youths' and Boys' Hats and Caps at moderate prices. W WILKINSON, SO, STRAND, ( near Salisbury Street.) NINTH EDITION. 32 closely printed pages, price twopence, THE LIFE of the late WILLIAM COBBETT, Esq. M. P. for Oldham.— WRITTEN BY HIMSELF. 85=- This highly interesting narrative of the progress in life of the above remarkable individual, should be in the possession of every Englishman. In Weekly Numbers, 32 pages, price twopence, Strange's Edition of The BEAUTIES OF COBBETT.— Carefully selected from the various works of this nervous and original writer. No. 2 is now ready. Also ready, price 4s. 6d. with an admirable Likeness of Mr. Cobbett, or in separate Num- bers, price threepence each, COBBETT'S LECTURES on the following subjects:—!. French Revolution.— 2. English Boroughmong- ering.— 3. Grievances of the English People.— 4 Petition to the King.— 5 Aristoeracy of the People— 6 Belgian Revo- lution— 7 Church Property— 8 New Police— 9 Talleyrand's Mission— 10 The Whigs— 11 The Standing Army. W. STRANGE, 21, Paternoster Row ; G. COWIE, 13, Newcastle Street, Strand; Purkess, Compton Street, Soho; Lewis, Manchester ; Cooper, Birmingham ; Mrs. Mann, Leeds; Hey wood, Manchester; and all Booksellers. Of whom may be had, publishing in Numbers, price twopence each, and in Parts, price sixpence each, with elegant engravings by W. C. Walker, THE ARABIAN TALES ; forming a SEQUEL to the ARABIAN NIGHTS ENTERTAINMENTS. With elegant engravings, and uniform with " LAYS AND LEGENDS OF ALL NATIONS." Just Published— Price One Shilling. ECOND THOUGHTS, a Comedy, performed at the Theatres Royal, Drurv Lane and Haymarket. By J. B. Buckstone, forming the 11th Number of'BUCKSTONE'S DRAMAS. No 12, THE SCHOLAR, now performing at the Haymarket Theatre will be ready in a few days, completing the second volume. All the plays may be purchased separately, ~ npil E FINEST BEAVER HATS, 21s. . " BEST BEAVER HATS, 17s. 6d. SUPERB GOSSAMER HATS, 12s. The above are manufactured of the most choice materials, and finished in tbe highest style of fashion— they never spot with rain nor lose their shape. FRANKS AND CO., Sole Patentees and Manufacturers. a, , 140, Regent Street, West. cKs London 62_ Redcross street> city. | 1 Paris .. 97. Rue Richelieu. JR9L Edinburgh, 6, St. Andrew Street. '"• It-' Dublin . 3, Sackville Street. N. B.— Franks and Co. are the only Manufacturers who really supply the Public at the Wholesale Price. G. COWIE, Printer, 13, Newcastle Street, Strand. PUBLISHED ( for the Proprietor) by W S T R A N G E , 21, PATERNOSTER R OW.