FIGARO IN LONDON. Satire should like a polish'd razor keen, Wound with a touch that's scarcely felt or seen.— LADY MONTAGUE. " Political Pasquinades and Political Caricatures are parts ( though humble ones,) of Political History. They supply information as to the person and habits, often as to the motives and objects of public men, which cannot be found elsewhere."— CHOKER'S NEW WHIG GUIDE. No. 175. SATURDAY, APRIL 11, 1835. [ Price One Penny. After a long chase, the cheerful whoop of the well- knjwn hunts- man, Russell, proclaims the death of that cunning fox, notorious about the country, by the name of Bob flie ratter. His twisting and doubling are now all over— he has been hunted through wood and across meadows, nay, into the very church itself. But the knowing old dogs kept close to his brush, giving sweet music as they spun along, while the huntsman and whipper- in cheered them heartily on to their sport. Bob had not got the reputation for nothing, and took his line of march through a most difficult country. The first fence was a teazer, but most of the riders went THE INTERPRETER Signs of the Times. " His Majesty and the Court intended to leave town on Saturday morning, for Windsor Castle ; but in consequence of the present state of the Ministry, that plan was obliged to be relinquished, and an express was sent to Windsor, where the dinner had actually been ordered." " The Duke of Cumberland visited their Majesties on Saturday." " Her Majesty was in her private box at the Italian Opera, on Saturday evening, Vol. IV. G. COWIB, Printer. 13, Newcastle Street, Strand over it manfully, though a few got purled into a rotten ditch on the other side. Bob bored off towards the church through a rasping country, the rattling pack close to his heels-— but first tried his old home, the Candour Hope, thinking his relentless pursuers would not be rude enough to invade him there, but in this he was disappointed, and once more launched ilito the open country, until this became too hot for him, when he resolved to try the Dissenters thicket, which had proved a deliverance to many a good one be- fore. Here the pace was tremendous, and many were stalled off; but on leaving this he turned towards Chandosfarm, made direct for the malt house, where he left the dogs at fault for a short time by a sin- gular double. An Irish dog, O'Con, was the first to give tongue on this occasion, and reassure the pack, which was shortly again at fault by a fresh fox crossing the line near Stanley meadows. This was a critical moment, but all uncertainty was laid aside by a view halloo from Jack Russell, which was echoed by a sharp little bow- wow of the grey breed, and soon our old friend was recognised stealing away down again and round to the church. ' Stole away!' was the cry, and finally they drove him into the very Church porch, where the gallant varmint met his death. Long and loud was the cheer that did honour to the death of a ' good ' un,' and the brush was awarded to Jack Russell, for Jack is to be married next week. THE DEATH OF THE CUNNING FOX. 6 0 FIGARO IN LONDON. " The King passed the Sunday evening with the Duchess of Gloucester."— Court Circular. These are the portentous signs of the times, which that mysteri- ous FRANCIS MOORE of the Court Circular, furnishes us with at the present moment. Talk of a distressed country ! What are the sufferings of millions, in comparison with the distress of the Court at being compelled to stop in town by the rude opposition of the low fellows who represent the people ? How each Gold- stick must have sighed, and each Maid of Honour vapoured at the annoyance of ' the present state of the Ministry.' And only to think that our Gracious Sovereign, and his august consort should have lost their dinner ! What a sacrifice for the country's good! With such a small Civil List, the extra expense must have been a serious inconvenience. Let us picture to our fancy Lord Howe running out with two hot plates to fetch a half- a- pound of ready- roasted mutton from the cook's- shop for the royal dinner, while the Lords in Waiting, and the other hungry Courtiers, were obliged to put up with bread and cheese. These are, indeed, shocking bad times for Royalty. If ' wretches hung that jurymen might dine,' surely it is not too much to expect that Honourable Members would allow their country to be ruined, that King William might enjoy at Windsor that dinner—' which had actually been ordered.' His Majesty having lost his dinner, and feeling peevish and fretful as too many of his subjects ( the Dor- chester labourers to wit) feel, who ' are used' to going witlioutany dinner— bv way of making things comfortable, in steps the Prince of Darkness, in the shape of the Duke of Cumberland.— Then began again the mutual growling and grumbling of the royal squad, until the Duke, going too far, and talking of shooting the people, Billv, who has some little sense, rebuked him, where- upon her Majesty fland- up, and a row was the result. The beau- teous. Adelaide betook herself off in the sulks to ' her private box, at the Italian Theatre'— while our beloved Sovereign called forhis cab and a cigar, and drovs off to the Coal- Hole. Things thus went off well on Sunday morning— for the King stayed out all night— but in the evening, her Majesty commenced talking to his Majesty on the impropriety of staying out all night, smoking and drinking, and singing— at which, Billy swore, once for all, he would not be ruled by a woman, and walked off in high dudgeon to his sister's— where he spent the evening in gossiping about the old Court, and Queen Charlotte, and the girls. A change in the Ministry may now be anticipated, as a matter of course. New Taxes. " Mr. Call recommended a tax upon heirs at law, as a substitute for the Window Tax."— Vestry Meeting at St. Martin's in the Fields. The wise men of St. Martin in the Fields have built themselves a kind of petty Parliament house, where they meet to talk about their country and their parish. Many wise things are said, but, we think, this valuable suggestion of Mr. Call is unequalled in origin- ality and utility, A tax upon heirs at law ! What next ? A tax upon pickled pork, ' or gravy spoons, mayhap, or dog's tails, or moustachioes, or a tax upon whiskers!— happy thought! surely Mr. Call must have had a call to be Chancellor of the Exchequer, and we recommend Lord John Russell to look to St. Martin's in the Fields, in the formation of his new administration. Buckingham v. Beer. There has always been in shallow pated men a mischievous pas- sion for meddling in legislation, which induces them to conceive it impossible for a man to be a member, without bringing in a bill— never mind what for, providing that a bill has been brought in by that member to the House of Commons. A parcel of these silly fellows get together and agree to vote for each other's bills— until a nest of vexatious enactments are created to the injury of business and the annoyance of the community, serving but to flatter the vanity of the M. P. and further the advantage of a host of rascally informers. A few years ago a wheel- barrow ran over the gouty toe of a county member, who forthwith introduced a measure, pro- hibiting wheel- barrows from encroaching on the footpath, under a penalty of forty shillings. Another M. P. who had just retired to rest after a ball, was startled by the shrill voice of a sweep at seven in the morning. The cry of ' Sweep,' was instantly a crime, and thus they went on, one after another, until a man can hardly hold his arm out, or put his head out of window, without violating an act of parliament! Having exhausted all possible subjects, some re- pose was granted to John Bull, as the surgeon ceases to bleed the patient who has fainted. But soon Mr. Shillibeer introduced those large and leathern conveniences— the Omnibuses. The public liked them, the old ladies patronized them, the young ladies voyaged in them, and the thoroughfares of London were crowded with their cumbrous bodies. Here was a rich field! here a thick grown harvest, ripe for the sickle of the sucking legislator. At it they went tooth and nail— one upon the other— and bill upon bill was passed— each and every one of them so confusing and con- founding the others, that the magistrates declared it was impos- sible to put them all into practice. It was reserved for the sagacious Buckingham to seize upon a new subject— Beer and Brandy. This Buckingham is a prating, talking, spouting, lecturing, twad- dling, water- drinking, weak- headed fool ! A man, who from the peculiar position of Indian affairs, has been elevated into a situa- tion of accidental importance, which he uses only to do mischief and publish magazines. Finding himself fast sinking into insignificance, he has gone about " among widows and weak women," talking of temperance, and pushing himself with petty ambition, as a sort of supernumerary saint. This proposed measure is a sly and concealed endeavour to do away the right which every Englishman has, by the constitution of his country, and the great Magna Charta of common sense, to drink his glass of brandy and water, wherever he can get it, and w'. ienever he can pay for it. It is not the province of FIGARO to discuss Acts of Parliament, or any news, otherwise we could expose the egregious absurdity and folly of this proposed measure, which has come be- fore us in the regular course of our business as M. P. There is to be a regiment of Supetintendants to watch Inspectors, and an army of Inspectors to watch public- houses. Then there is to be a classifi- cation, forsooth, into taverns, hotels, & c. & c. & c. ' A tavern,' says the Bill, 1 is to have ready all kinds of provisions,' and this under a penalty. But best of all, as a rider, we suppose, to the Bill for abolishing Imprisonment for Debt, this precious Bill enacts, that ' no debt for wine and spirits is to be ^ recoverable !' This will be a nice enactment for the wine- merchants. This mis- chievous and foolish interference with every thing that's com- fortable, is of a piece, and emanates from the same party, as the one troubling and vexing the State with their Sunday Bills. Parliamentary Eloquence. " Colonel Sibthorp then rose, together with another Honourable Member, and after a short pause ( during which theories of ' Divide !' were very general,) proceeded to address the House, We deeply regret that, owing to the impres- sive solemnity of the Honourable and Gallant Member's manner, a few of the first sentences of his speech were delivered in a hollow and apparently awe- stricken voice, which was quite inaudible in the gallery. The Hon. and'Gallant Member, after remarking that he had no doubt the Honourable Member for Derbyshire ( Mr. Gisbourne) entertained the expectation of inducing the Right Honourable Baronet to resign, and of placing himself in some very im- portant situation, made some allusions to ham and beef warehouses, and pastry- cooks' shops in the immediate vicinity of Westminster- bridge, which we were unable to comprehend. We rather think that the effect of the allusion was that placards, calling upon the people to sign the addresses to Lord John Russell, were exposed in windows which bore inviting placards of another des- cription, intimating that hot sausages, small Germans, and saveloys, were to be had within. ####*### # The question has already undergone considerable discussion; I have heard many arguments from this side of the House, but I have heard little more than vox et preterea nihil on the other [ cheers and laughter]. Sir, what said the Honourable Member for Derbyshire? Why he told you that this was the 61 FIGARO IN LONDON. last attempt of the Noble Lord to keep up the Protestant Church in Ireland. But he also told you that this would not pacify Ireland ? Why what will the Honourable Member— the great man— the prince of Dublin— say to this ( laughter) ? What has he said ( cheers) ? He said that this was but an instalment. He well knew ( continued the Honourable and Gallant Member, sinking his voice from its highest pitch to a stage whisper)— he well knew that the only way of attaining his point was to bring all your heads together ( cheers)— and when your heads have been together a little time, they will become more divided than ever ( cheers). Of the body opposite, I know not what the head may be, but I believe the tail will leave the other part. What will be the result? Unprecedented confusion; an unheard of breaking up of the whole system, thehead will be at one end and the tail will be— at the other ( tremendous cheers and laughter). Sir, I say that on the Right Honourable Baronet's continuance in of& ce depends the safety of the Crown and preserva- tion of the honour, the character, and I will venture to say, the dignity of the country ( loud and prolonged cheering.) A speech like this defies even ' our Interpreter the mazy and mysterious eloquence of the Gallant Colonel surpasses Charles Phillips' famed seduction harangue, and leaves Lingo in the lurch. Sure such an oratioii must have warmed the walls of the new House, until, fired with enthusiastic Toryism, they blazed again from the rapturous incendiarism of the inspired Sibthorp. How the Opposition must have melted away as the valorous and whiskered militia hero threw forth liis glorious words, in measured yet melli- fluous method; and he was followed too by a no less illustrious member, a no less inspired orator, Mr. Hogg— who went the whole hog, and made a beast of himself in a thorough fashion. He vowed that he would not follow in the vulgar herd, or curry favour with the swinish multitude— if the stream of popular opinion was against the Irish Church, he would swim against the stream and so he did, and like all his brethren who do so, he cut his own throat. i Imprisonment for Debt. " Mr. Wire strongly objected to the proposed measure."— City Meeting. Mr. Wire is a lawyer. This in itself would sufficiently account for his opposition to a measure which strikes at the very root of a lawyer's profits, which mainly depend, like the doctor's, upon the sufferings and misery of his fellow creatures. But Mr. Wire is likewise a liberal in politics, and therefore we are in some degree surprised, we confess, at his opposition. The great outcry amongst lawyers against Sir John Campbell's bill is, that swindlers will es- cape ; did it ever enter into the calculation of these lawyers, how many innocent men suffer the loss of their liberty, the degradation of imprisonment, the ruin of their business, the desertion of their friends andconnections, by this imprisonment ? Let any man of common feel- ing stand at the gate of Whitecross Street Prison, and see the women go in there to visit their imprisoned husbands and fathers; exposed to the rude gaze of the turnkeys, the jokes and jeers of fellow prisoners, and the insults of those who are cowardly enough to calculate on their being deprived of their natural protectors. Let the opponents of this merciful measure, consider that in many instances the debtor pays to the last farthing, and , struggles to the last, to keep himself out of prison ; that then a merciless and hard- hearted attorney, for costs, may seize on his per- son and drag him to gaol without a penny. The Rules of Whitecross Street originated by the sapient, ' absolute wisdom,' of Alderman Wood, ( on whom the curse, of many a broken heart falls heavy night and day,) drives the wife, houseless though she may be, from the side of her husband, and if on a Sunday she brings her children to visit their afflicted parent, the pittance of time allowed, the only glimpse of the cheerful light of domestic comfort, which the scanty charity of Whitecross- street Prison allows, is THREE HOURS, from one until four. These are the votes and regulations of the Alder- men and Magistrates of the City of London, one- half of whom are, or have been, or are about to be, bankrupts. This— this is the system that requires alteration. This is the grievance of the law. Attorneys are the great pests of the community, and are fostered and nurtured by law- costs. If the expenses of an arrest were only a shilling, and a premium was held out to attorneys for settling actions, the gaols would soon be empty. But as long as an at- torney gets his costs, whether from debtor or creditor, so long will the misery, unhappiness, degradation, wretchedness, vice, and pro- fligacy of a debtor's prison continue to exist and flourish for the benefit of such gentlemen— by law. THE HOLYWELL STREET GANG. There is a nasty place, infested by vermin, and half stopped up with filth, where the rays of the sun scarcely ever penetrate, which a set of low, dirty, blackguard scoundrels of old clothesmen have adopted as the bazaar for their stinking wares, and a kind of nursery for the dirty Jew fellows, who wander through the streets of Lon- don, pilfering and plundering the needy and distressed, and carrying with them into respectable houses, where they can sneak in, the various plagues, diseases, and vermin, which harbour and nestle their malign influences in the dirty vestments, unshaven beards, unwashed bodies, uncombed heads, and unwholesome totalities, which constitute, when combined, the Jew proper. The whole race of Jews are our detestation and abomination; a set of scurvv knaves, idle, lazy, and unprofitable to the community, they sedulously em- ploy themselves in all the dirty woik of the country. Jew bail, Jew bailiffs, and Jew attornies, fill our prisons, and concoct swindling schemes and robberies innumerable. Jew gamblers stink under our nostrils with their splendid equipages and palace- like houses, the haunts of our profligate aristocracy, and the means of ruin and disgrace to thousands. The Jews are and have been a nuisance from time immemorial— our only regret is that Haman's edict was not carried into full execution, and the whole nation got rid of at a blow— nay more, we have a perfect conviction, that if Adam had not been a Jew, mankind would not now have to pay the penalty of his transgressions. But to go back to the Holywell - street. The low set of fellows in this street are in the habit of insulting all females who may be unprotected, no matter of what age or station. The Commissioners of the police should look to it, and we hereby caution all respectable women against this nui- sance. Is it to be tolerated, that these dirty, mangy scoundrels, should be allowed to pollute any Christian woman with their un- hallowed touch— let them keep to their own dark and dingy drabs, who in the week are bundles of disgusting filth, and on the Saturday are masses of tawdry finery and brass ornaments. A correspondent joins in our opinion, and we gladly publish liis spirited verses on the occasion : ON THE HOLYWELL STREET BARKERS. May the cockroach and moth, Eat such holes in their cloth, That the prime cost they may ne'er return ' em, But all be laid by, For a black rusty dye Fit for deadmonger's coachmen to mourn in. May their second- hand stocks, Of coats, breeches, and cloaks, Hang up till they're quite out of fashion. And like usurer's bags, May they rot into rags, And provoke the d d knaves to a passion. May their tailors ne'er trust, Nor their servants prove just, And their wives and their families vex ' em. May their foreheads all ache, And their debtors all break, And their consciences daily perplex ' em. 52 FIGARO IN LONDON. In their loves may they sport, ' Till their noses fall short, And have none but a quack to come nigh ' em, And with sickness become,' Lame, deaf, blind, and dumb, That a man may walk quietly by ' em. PARLIAMENTARY OPENINGS. Mr. HOGG said, his voice was too feeble Colonel SIBTHORP declared that ham and beef, and sausages had no right to a voice « Lord STANLEY took upon himself to say that there was no argument which could be used in defence of the Irish Church THEATRICALS, How much longer the disgusting humbug of Farren's acting, his shrugs, and hoppings, and mumblings, and face- makings, are to be forced down the throat of the play- going public as clever, and ex- traordinary, we can hardly judge at present. He continues to per- form Sir Nicholas Stilton in the' Patrician and the Parvenu,' with the same ludicrous self- sufficiencv and apparent unconsciousness of failure, as if it was a great hit, and he himself was a really hu- mourous actor. He is sadly mistaken— he has no humour— nothing but dryness and a kind of quaintness ; but for all purposes of fine acting— of real character— of Munden's richness of comedy, or Dowton's breadth of humour, he is palpably and lamentably defi- cient ; yet does he persist in acting all the parts for which these veteran favourites were so celebrated, and acts them too with a chuckle and a vanity, as if he alone were the great ' cock- salmon' of the dramatic art. Lestocq is now a shabby set out— Guibelei has; been succeeded by Bedford, whose roystering walk, lounging man- ner, and boisterous vulgarity of stile, render thejcharacter of a Prime Minister excruciatingly ridiculous, and mar the effect of tl e music. Miss H. Cawse, too, for some cause unknown, has been succeeded by Mrs. Newcome, who we wish had never come. It is like a penny trumpet after a rich toned and mellow flute. But Easter is approaching, and will produce as great a change in the theatres as a new ministry in the country. Glossop's failure has caused a wide scattering of the pomp and pageantry of the Victoria Theatre. The singular villainy of this man deserves exposure. The various petty frauds, the mean unne- cessary trickery— the shuffling— the base ingratitude to all who served and befriended him ; the inane pomposity— the humbug— the downright robbery of poor people committed by this double bankrupt are unparalleled. There are a set of scoundrels about town who take theatres, either for the sake of getting into credit and then swindling every body, or of creating for themselves an apparent rjason for a convenient insolvency. These fellows speculate with the blood and bones of actors, whom they wheedle to trust them— to work for them at half salaries— nay, in one instance, which has come under our own knowledge, to bed and board them, and then kicking down the ladder which has raised them, they turn, with all the pride of successful villainy upon their victims, and sneer and laugh at the credulity and misplaced confidence which trusted in their honour. Let actors beware, we say, of such men as these. There are too many of the profession who have suf- fered from these gentry. NOTICE. A bookseller is informed that the unsold copies of WHIOOBRIES and WAOOBRIM ( which contains 40 Caricatures by Seymour and others) can be returned at the end of the year. They are sold at Is. 6d, per 13. A fresh supply is now ready. Just Published, in One Vol. Cloth Boards, Price Two Shillings, Originally Sold at Three Shillings. A POLITICAL TEXT BOOK— Compiled from the Best Authorities, by WILLIAM CARPENTER. 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