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Figaro In London

28/03/1835

Printer / Publisher: G. Cowie 
Volume Number:     Issue Number: 173
No Pages: 4
 
 
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Figaro In London

Date of Article: 28/03/1835
Printer / Publisher: G. Cowie 
Address: 21, Paternoster Row, and 13, Newcastle-street, Strand
Volume Number:     Issue Number: 173
No Pages: 4
Sourced from Dealer? No
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FIGARO IN LONDON Satire should like a polish'd razor keen, Wound with a touch that's scarcely felt or seen.— LADY MONTAGUE. * Political Pasquinades and Political Caricatures are parts ( though humble ones,) of Political History. They supply information as to the person and habits, often as to the motives and objects of public men, which cannot be found elsewhere."— CROKER'S NEW WHIG GUIDE. No. 173. SATURDAY, MARCH 28, 1835. [ Price One Penny. THE! IRISH TITHE BILL. The glorious Seymour has here depicted the true state of the Irish question ; and although the House of Commons may prate and debate for weeks about it, they will never lay the matter so plainly, trulv, and simply, before the country, asthe graphic Seymour has in this one masterly sketch. With great humour he pourtravs Ireland, as an ass^ overburthened with millstones of tithes, a don" key vot wouldn't go ! while the ministers, her masters, pretend to relieve her by shifting the burthen from her tail to her neck, and calling it RENT. HOW happy the illustration ! how felicitous the humour! Mark, likewise, how, with the true finish of a Hogarth, VOL. IV. Seymour smashes the humbug of Haddington's wearing a sham" rock, which, as the papers tell us, elicited such thundering cheers on St. Patrick's Day. Wellington, too, with the strong hand of power, and the sceptre of prerogative, his favourite weapon, is lay- ing on the poor beast which can hardly stand on its legs. THE INTERPRETER Affectionate Humbug. " Chantry, the sculptor, has just finished a whole length statue of the late unrivalled Mrs. Jordan, in an interesting and most graceful attitude ; two of her lovely children are included in the group. It is said to be the chef d'aeuvre of this delightful artist. One of the children is the present Earl of Munster, when an infant."— Morning Paper. How disgusting to read this— one half of the money squandered in chiselling this stone would have saved the ' warm and living image,' which the King delighted to honour. Unprotected, desert- ed, and in misery, she died in a foreign country ; unwept, unpitied, and unknown. And now ' Chantry, has just finished a statue to her memory !' Say rather a monument of the vanity of human affection ; a posthumous tribute, not to the memory of the mother; but rather to the pride of the children :— Can storied urn, or monumental bust. Back to its mansion call the fleeting breath? Can honour's voice provoke the silent dust, Or flattery sooth the dull cold ear of death ? But mark the disgusting flattery of the courtly penny- a- liner:— ' The two lovely infants, one of which is the present Earl of Munster,' — an ugly, sallow, yellow livered, fat fellow; with a beard like a blacking brush, and a head like a dumpling! G CowiE, Printer, 13. Newcastle Street. Strand, 52 FIGARO IN LONDON. Personalities. Lord. John Russell said— that an Honourable Member's conduct might be declared to be politically base, while his personal honour was unquestionable. — House of Commons, Monday Night. This acute distinction of the tragedy- writing lord, partakes more of the poet's fancy than the honest feeling of a true reformer. Can a pickpocket be an honest man, or a woman of the town virtuous ? Is it merely politically base to injure your country, and not person- ally dishonourable? Are the member and the man so decidedly dissimilar ? But the apologies of those superfine, double- milled Honourable gentlemen are most ludicrous. They are just as if Jenkins was to address Tomkins, as follows:— ' My dear Tomkins, in what I am about to say, I do not address myself to you personally, I speak of you only as a tradesman ! you are a cheating rogue, a swindling scoundrel, an unwhipped vaga- bond ' Tomkins here rises in a rage, and bursts out with your—' Do you mean that as personal, Mr Jenkins T If you do ' Jenkins—' If, Sirs, no ifs— If Mr. Tomkins chuses to take it in that way ' Here an insinuating Simkins jumps up, and most pacifyingly distinguishes between the man and the tradesman. Jenkins puts his honour in Simkins's hands, and Tomkins forthwith expresses himself quite satisfied! The Church at Home and Abroad, " The Rev . Jolinge Seymour, Rector of Radnage, Bucks, has been presented by the congregation of the British Chapel of Boulogne Sur Mer, in testimony of their high respect for his personal character, and of his able discharge of the duties of his ministry, in that town, during the period of eleven years." — Times. This reads well— Boulogne is a highly respectable place; some- thing like the rules of the King's Bench ; peopled by swindling sur- geons, ci- devant captains, brevet- rank widows, half- pav, or rather never pay Lieutenants, and all such creatures, the offscouring and top scum of would be gentility. Among these the Rev. Jolinge Seymour, Rector of Radnage, Bucks, has resided eleven years— and we do not wonder at the respect they all feel for his personal character. But there is another party in this affair— the People of Radnage, Bucks, the unhappy flock wandering without a shepherd for eleven years; and who know nothing of their rector, but that he receives their tithes. Have they presented the rector with apiece of plate ? Have they yet seen this impudent announcement of con- tinued non- residence ? Are they prepared to induce their member to vote a few millions to augment the stipend of their non- resident pastor ? The Clergyman in Debt! Such is the title of a work which has just issued from the press, and which we do not hesitate to denounce as a scandalous fraud, and imposition on the public. Who do our readers think is the " Clergyman in Debt ?"— no less a man than the notorious F. W. N. Bayley— the shadow of a shade, who has picked up a precarious subsistence for some time past among silly singers, and still sillier young musicians, by the swindling similarity of his name to that of Thomas Haynes Bayly, the song- writer! This impudent scamp as- sumes now the disguise of a " Clergyman in Debt/' and forthwith trumps up a tissue of lies and ignorance— of mawkish sentimentality and mischievous delusions, under the title of " Scenes and Stories, by a Clergyman in Debt." To shew, by one instance, the baseness, the villainy, the anti- social turpitude of this low- minded fellow, we need but tell our readers, that while in the Fleet Prison, having given himself out as a literary man, a few of the inmates there, with that natural feeling of respect for literary talents, which should reign paramount in the bosom of every generous man— supplied him with food, clothes, necessaries and pocket- money ! one prisoner, on his firm promise to pay, procured him the means of release, ! and others paid his fees to get him out of the prison walls. The 1 money, we need not say, has never been repaid. " The Clergyman" is now in the rules of the King's Bench, and the return he has made for the kindness which fostered and cherished him in adver- sity, is by selling for base money to a bookseller, the secrets of the social board, the betraying for filthy lucre all the confidence which was placed in him by an unsuspecting and too generous youth, and the placarding and puffing all that his dirty mind could spy or rake up from the filthy channels of private scandal, or his traitorous commiseration'could worm from the wounded^ feelings of an agonised and broken- hearted prisoner. We put it to any one of our readers. Would you like any one to come to your house in some of those moments of unhappiness which come to all of us; would you like ' a clergyman' to come to your house, and when you had opened your heart to him, would you like him to take it all down, and, merely altering one letter of your name, to send it forth fully depicted and exposed to the rude gaze and vulgar scorn of a scandalizing world ? But there are other infamous circumstances connected with this book, which shall most assuredly be exposed. We make one ex- tract from a letter we have received, ( our correspondence, let it be known to our readers, is exceedingly numerous and valuable,) and then let our readers judge for themselves. Are men to be locked up in prison for debt, to be kept like beasts for a show, and every now and then stirred up ' with the long pole' of some speculating publisher ? Dear FIGARO, The Book called the Clergyman in Debt, is published at £ 1 lis. 6d: l have, by great favour, seent he 3d vol. and what relates to imprison- ment for debt in that volume and in the others, which although I have not read, I have been told the particulars of, and the major part are all falsehoods; and the escape of Lord Cochrane, correct in only one particular. The circulation of this work, of which Bayly, the author. is now in the Bench, and as an arrant a little Mace Cove as this day walks the streets of London, depends upon a circular which has been sent to the Members of both Houses, containing a copy of a petition signed by the debtors of all the prisons, and which petition is made to praise this work, and in which it says, that it will have more effect than any thing that has ever been written to abolish this law ; and tagged on as a fly sheet is the— Shocking, cruel, heart- rending case of the Dentist and Bears Grease Man; and this is quoted as an appeal to the feelings of the Members of both Houses; it describes the great misery he endured in White Cross Street, his removal to the Bench— wandering about to beg a few sticks to light his fire— arrival of his daughter from abroad, who advanced 4001. that he might go to trial— acquitted by 12 Englishmen, who dis- covered he never owed one shilling, and that he was locked up on an affidavit founded on perjury. I must get one of these for you to read. Now mark, the whole of this appeal to feelings, is as impudent a lie as ever was palmed upon the public; a more debauched, drunken, vile old blackguard, never existed than old a rank impostor. The most extraordinary pains have been taken by the publishers to keep myself and Captain Johnson from a sight of this work, and the party that had it, had strict injunctions not to let either of us see it. We are happy to say, that the writer of this letter is preparing an expos6, not only of this book, but of the whole system of Impri- sonment for Debt, which, comprising as it will do, some valuable information on the subject, and some corrections and alterations of the proposed measure for the Abolition of Imprisonment for Debt, will be an exceedingly valuable work, and will shortly be published b y our publisher. In the mean time, we can only say of this F. W. N. Bayley," The Clergyman," 1 in the words of the Roman Poet— Vetabo, qui Cereris sacra, Solvarit arcana, sub iisdem, Sit trabibus fragilem que mecum Solvat phaselum. Let him be avoided by his feliow- men, as that most dangerous of spies,— a traitor to the social board— and may he for the rest of his paltry and pettifogging existence, suffer all the miseries of a poor pseudo- literary man, and pretended authorling, hunted day and night, from garret to garret, by dirty printer's devils. 53 FIGARO IN LONDON. The Chatham Colonel- Mr. Law Hodges. " This was a petition from 300 electors and other inhabitants of Chatham, complaining that in consequence of the votes which many of them gave at the last election, the commanding officer of the Marine Barracks there had thought proper to interfere, in a most unprecedented, most unjust, and most unconsti- tutional manner, with the freedom of trade in the borough [ hear!]. The petitioners stated that certain tradesmen of that town had, from time immemo- rial, been allowed access to the barrack- yard for the purpose of selling their commodities; that no interruption had occurred in this privilege till the 19th January last, when an order was affixed to the barrack- yard, signed by Adju- tant James, stating that for the future no pawnbroker or slopseller should be admitted to the yard, without the special permission of the Commandant. The petitioners proceeded to explain that the classes of tradesmen in question were those that had hitherto enjoyed the advantage above described, and that the sole reason for this most unjust and injurious exclusion was that at the last election, the whole body of them, with three exceptions, voted for Captain Byng, in opposition to thf Government candidate, Sir John Beresford [ hear, hear, hear !]. This, the petitioners added, was proved beyond a doubt by the fact that the three persons who had voted for Sir John Beresford, had each of them received that special permission from the Commandant which enabled them to engross the whole business of the barrrck- yard [ hear, hear.] This proceeding the petitioners protested against as a most gross and unconstitu- tional exercise of power for the purposes of intimidation, and the destruction of freedom of election." Of all the insolent interferences that ever disgraced a Tory Bo- roughmonger, this is the most fragrant and disgraceful. Col. Tremenheere might as well have marched his marines to the hus- tings and prevented all Reformers from coming to the poll, as close the barracks against the tradesmen who voted for the Reform Candidates, and admit only the degraded wretches who allowed themselves to be bribed to vote against their country for a Military Government and a Tory Parliament. On this question, the Tory serpent has shown its fangs, which, so long, but so vainly it has Endeavoured to conceal. Fighting Bob said that the words spoken by the gallant Colonel, ought not to be taken into consideration. But are not words spoken by a criminal admitted as evidence in a criminal court to prove the animus, the malice of the offender ? Why then should the Colonel escape, when privates suffer ? Oh that a court- martial could be held on this Tremenheere, and that Col. Bowater could give him that cat which he so justly deserves. The glorious majority of thirty- one has taught the Tories a lesson they will not forget— however they may pass it by at present. But we are much amused by the high- flown compliments paid to any Tory who gets into a scrape. No sooner was the charge brought against the Colonel, than up jumps Sir John Beresford, and puffs off the Colonel:—• " He could assure the House, that in his conscious opinion, Colonel Tre- menheere would never lend himself to any underhanded or dishonourable ac- tion. It appeared to him that neither the electors nor the non- electors of Chat- ham had any thing to do with the orders which the Commandant might think proper to issue for the effective regulation of the barracks: they might as well assume a right to interfere with the regulations of his Majesty's ships in the river. As to Colonel Tremenheere, he could safely say, that a better officer, or more honourable man never existed [ hear, hear, from the Ministerial benches."] To be sure there is nothing like being a respectable man— Faun- tleroy was a respectable man— Ady was a respectable man— Peel is an honourable man, politically, and so on to the end of the chapter. City Humbug, " The Chamberlain's book detailing the result of one campaign against the unfortunate residents within the City, who had been guilty of the enormous crime of endeavouring to maintain their families by the pursuits of trade he would read to them— it contained a list of the killed and wounded [ laughter.] John Hoskins, grocer, action brought— declaration— judgment, execution— ran away. Thomas Jones, tailor, declaration, judgment, execution, dischsrged from prison on account of poverty. Richard Tomkins found guilty in the Lord Mayor's Court of the sin of shoemaking within the City; execution issued, but defendant excused upon payment of the attorney's costs, and promising to quit the City [ hear, hear.] There were upwards of two hundred honest tradesmen annually prosecuted for having carried on business within the City, that they might be driven from its confines, while other towns and cities considered that an increasing wealth waited upon the increase of the number of their indus- trious inhabitants. The way to induce persons to become free of the City would be to make it a privilege, and not a burden." How long will the housekeepers of London and Westminster put up with that worst of all nuisances, the City Corporation and their assumed rights ? Of what use is the whole Corporation ? What one earthly good thing do they do individually or collectively?— Westminster goes on well enough without a Corporation ; nor does St. Pancras feel the want of a Common Council ; neither does Southwark languish for the want of an Alderman ; nor can Mary- lebone be said to be sickening for the want of the constant care of Sheriffs and Deputies. Did our readers ever watch the end of Chancery Lane ? there sits a fellow, who actually stops all carts not belonging to Freemen, and takes a toll in the very centre of London for this most impudent of Corporations. The only real duties of consequence, which the Aldermen have to perform, is that of attending as Magistrates at the Guildhall, and this they shamefully neglect, inasmuch as that when a friend of ours went there at two o'clock with a distinguisehd foreigner, who was anxious to see the practice of our English police officers; he found the place crowded with plaintiffs, defendants, witnesses, and policemen ; and, on en- quiring, found that—' We have not got an Alderman yet.'' This was at two o'clock in the afternoon. On his return, the Alderman was there, but he not being a Citizen of London, was actually re- fused admitance by the insolent official at the door. There is another toll taken at Farringdon Street, and nuisances of all kinds arise from the City privileges in all directions. The notion of fining a man fifty pounds for taking a shop in the City, he not being a freeman, may account for the many shops shut up in Fleet Street. BREVITIES. Scan- Magi The fracas concerning Lady Sugden's admission to Court, is only a proof that Sir E. Sugden, with true Tory instinct, could not help robbing the public, even in his marriage. Rather Uxorious. It was reported of the English Chancellor that he was too fond of another man's wife. It is complained of the Irish Chancellor that he is too fond of his own. A Disorderly House. The recent squabbles in the House of Commons which divert the attention of members from the Supplies, are like the sham- fights of the swell mob, who fall out with one another that they may pick John Bull's pocket in the confusion. Abolition of Imprisonment for Debt. Lord Edward Thynne expresses himself greatly pleased with the proposed measure, as it will render a running account no longer an account for running. THEATRICALS. Poole's new comedy is a thing of mere pretence, and little per- formance. It is a farce in five acts— light and whimsical— defi- cient in character, and wretchedly acted in the principal character, Sir Nicholas Stilton, by Farren. This farce is a downright piracy on Lord Duberley in the Heir at Law; neither does any character in the piece possess any novelty, but that of Sally Saunders, in which Mrs. Glover was most excellent. There was a rich, saucy vulgarity about it, a pert chandler- shop gentility, a Mar 54 FIGARO IN LONDON. gate- ball politeness— a pettish toss of the head, and a scornful glance of the eye over the cocked- up chin that bespoke this beauty of Aldgate, and the beloved of St. Mary- Axe. So well did Mrs. Glover give it, that we looked about in the hope of seing Dowton to support her, or Liston to raise our spirits in The Retired Cheesemonger; but there was no one but Farren, who is never more than the abstract idea of a character! the mere dry- bones, the ske- leton of a part— wanting in the warmth, the luxuriance, the flesh and blood with which a good actor invests an original sketch of the author. Harley's Dick Moonshine is another mistake— it wanted strength, the swagger, the bounce, which support the pretension of a pseudo captain. He looked all thiough the Comedy like a dog who had a good horsewhipping in the morning, and testifies his remem- brance of it by carrying his tail between his legs, and stooping his head down for the rest of the day. Wrench should have played the part. The Victoria has closed— we could have foretold it, but did not wish to make use of our private information in any manner, which might injure a concern, which to our knowledge, was in itself successful— and which only wanted to heave the pilot overboard, and then the vessel would have safely steered into the harbour of prosperity. We trust it will open under better auspices. Almar is doing well at the Wells; he has taken great pains, and spent much money on the Shadow— and his Masquerade proves a nightly attraction. It is not true that Vestris has taken this Theatre. We disgraced ourselves by a visit to the Pavilion the other even- ing. Such trash as Ahasuerus, and such actors and actresses are below notice, and actually degrade the profession. Richardson would not allow such men to parade his show front in Bartholomew Fair, in Smithfield. An unhappy wretch is about to waste his substance on the City Theatre; but if it be true that he has engaged little Hughes, late of the Strand Theatre, he may have some chance of success. The King's Theatre has opened at last, in spite of the measles and the attornies. There is much in Madame Bram- billato admire. She has a depth of tone, and an easy transition of voice, which enable her to give the light and shadow of feeling to her singing ; but she is still, in spite of the lapse of time since we first saw her, rough and unfinished in her style and execution. The rest of the singers are for the present dreadful, torturing to the recollection, and excruciating to the ears. Better times will come ; and certainly better dancers. Better voices and better toes are the great desiderata at present. VandenhofF, the dull and stupid Vandenhoff, an actor, whose forte solely consists in the proper acting of common places, has at- tempted Werner— his failure was signal. It is the fashion to cry down King's Ulric in this tragedy; we beg leave to differ with the newspaper critics, and consider, that although not a piece of finish- ed acting, yet that it shows great mind and correct perception of the poet's meaning. ' Tom and Jerry,' continue to run their riotous course much to our surprise, with great success and applause. There is an innate blackguardism in the frequenters of the Adelphi, which clings to its kindred vulgarity with freshened gusto and affection. Morris, like a fool, has refused to let Vestris his theatre. Is the old gentleman in his dotage ? NOTICE. The Holywell Street nuisance, and the gang of Jew barkers, who insult all passengers through that nest of filth, which they have made so particularly their own, shall appear at full length in our next. CHEAP AND EXPEDITIOUS P HINTING BY GEORGE COWIE, PRINTER, 13, NEWCASTLE STREET, STRAND. TradeSmen will find great advantage in sending their Prospectuses, Placards, and Circulars, to be executed for cash by G. Cowie. In consequence of the numerous enquiries respecting THE BARBER'S JOURNAL, it is necessary to say that it is postponed for a few days to make way for THE BARBER'S RAZOR; OR, CUTS BY A CUNNING SHAVER. Being a Series of Caricatures by a Radical H. B. Published every week by W. Strange, Paternoster Row. No. 1, is Published this Day, THE DISORDERLY HOUSE: THE FIGHTING PARLIAMENT. Orders to be sent to the Publisher immediately. CHEAP USEFUL WORKS. I.— Just Published, price only Is. Second Edition, THE TRADESMAN'S COMPLETE BOOK- KEEPER, By Single and Double Entry, by which persons may arrive at a perfect knowledge of that art without the assistance of a master. Together with a JOURNAL upon anew and im- proved plan never yet made public. " This excellent little book is the very MULTUM IN PARVO of Accounts; and no one with common sense can read it attentively, without arriving at a perfect knowledge of Book- keeping."— TIMES. II.— Eighth Edition, price only 8d. ODELL'S IMPROVED SYSTEM OF SHORT- HAND, By which that useful and admired art may be acquired in a few hours, without the aid of a master. Upwards of fourteen thousand of this useful little work having been disposed of in a very short time, is SOME proof of the decided superiority it has obtained over other spuri- ous and confused systems. " The best, and at the same time the cheapest book of the sort which has ever fallen under our notice."— ATHENAEUM. III.— Third Edition, price only 9d, THE COMPLETE WRITING- MASTER ; or, SIX LESSONS in WRITING By which persons may instruct themselves in a beautiful and easy Running- hand, so essen- tial for business or correspondence; may be attained with the greatest ease, without the assistance of a master. *' No one need persevere in a crabbed and ugly hand- writing, while so excellent a little treatise as this is extant. This plan laid down is so simple and practicable, that * he who RUNS may write."— SUNDAY TIMES. IV.— Also, Just Published, price only 3d. THE ANGLER; Containing a complete description of all Fresh- water Fish, and the most approved methods of catching them ; the best places for angling near London, together with useful hints to anglers in general. London:— Published by R. GROOMBRIDGE, Panyer- alley, Paternoster- row ; andG. ODELL, 18, Princes- street, Oxford street; and may be obtained of all Booksellers. Xi HE FINEST BEAVER HATS, 21s. BEST BEAVER HATS, 17s. 6d. SUPERB GOSSAMER HATS. 12s. The above are manufactured of the most choice materials, and finished in the highest style of fashion— they never spotwith rain nor lose their shape. FRANKS AND CO., Sole Patentees and Manufacturers. _ . , 140, Regent Street, West. London Redcross street_ city Paris . .. 97, Rue Richelieu. Edinburgh, 6, St. Andrew Street. Dublin . 3, Sackville Street. N. B— Franks and Co. are the only Manufacturers who really supply the the Wholesale Price. G. COWIE, Printer, 13, Newcastle Street, Strand. PUBLISHED ( for the Proprietor) by W. STRANGE, 21, PATERNOSTER ROW.
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