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Figaro In London

19/03/1835

Printer / Publisher: W. Strange 
Volume Number:     Issue Number: 224
No Pages: 4
 
 
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Figaro In London

Date of Article: 19/03/1835
Printer / Publisher: W. Strange 
Address: 21, Paternoster Row
Volume Number:     Issue Number: 224
No Pages: 4
Sourced from Dealer? No
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FIGARO IM LOMDO!¥. Satire should like a polish'd raior keen. Wound with a touch that's scarcely felt or seen.— LADY MONTAGUE. " Political Pasquinades and Political Caricatures are parts ( though humble ones,) of Political History. Thev supply information as to the person and babits often as to the motives and objects of public men, which cannot be found elsewhere."— CROKER'S NEW WHIG GUIDE. No. 224. SATURDAY, MARCH 19, 1835. Price One Penny. A RAIL- ROAD FOR THE TORIES. Rail- roads are now all the go; that is to say, it has become the fashion to go upon Rail roads. Every body is in such a devil of a hurry, that every body is ready to trust himself on the rail road, tSiough blowing up, jamming, crushing and crashing, are not at all improbable results of 3uch a process. Every body is ready to spe- culate in rail road shares, which, by the bye, goes a great way to prove that the levelling principle is being generally adopted— though, strange to say, going on in a right line— does not come in for its share of popularity. But of all the rail- road projects we have heard of, ( he best, in our estimation, is that which Seymour has struck out from the furnace of his brain, as Minerva sprang forth in a regular horse- guards helmet from the brain of Jupiter. VOL. V. This scheme is for the exportation, or transportation, of some of the principal Tories, by means of a political rail road, which raly ( as the cockneys say) would be a most admirable thing, if it could only be acted upon. The rail road in question is meant to com- mence at the Carlton Club, and go straight to the infernal regions, which by the bye is the most direct road that can be found, as by starting from the former, one is pretty sure of eventually reaching the latter. The Carlton Club is the first stage towards the domi- nions of Old Nick ; and very few make that their starting post, without coming in the end to Pandemonium. But to get them there speedily is the object of our present essay, which for the ex- cellence of its design will, we have no doubt, find its way into the statutes at large, or some other equally important national period* ical. Our scheme is, to show a quick way of getting rid of the Tories; and Seymour's forty- six dray- liorse power has drawn for us a carriage, such as horses might try to draw in vain, yet the drawing is effected by the simple dash of the artist's pencil. Sey- mour has shown, in his sketch, how these people can be got rid of. Who the parties are, we might say, if we could say, but we won't say. Our artist has been so faithful with his pencil that the reader has only to glance his eye upon the design, and he will see in a moment who they are that Seymour has made this design upon. The passengers are persons too well known for us to attempt to describe them further, and what is more, if we did at- tempt to describe them, we could make but a poor hand of it com- pared with the pictorially speaking effects of Seymour's pungent pencil. They are, according to the sign- post, all destined for Pan- demonium, and it was a most correct estimate of their deserts, that assigned that place to them as their goal, since there they must all arrive at one time or another. We are quite positive that if this scheme were feasibly entertained, of a rail- road for sending the Tories out of the country, the shares in it would rise as high, as ginger beer corks in a water- butt. They would, in fact, get up to the top— and would soon head the market prices of these commo- dities. Don Carlos and Pandemonium have been very aptly united W. Strange, 21, Paterrcster Row. 50 FIGARO IN in Seymour's tableau, and shows that the artist has a strong appre- hension of affinities— they are, in fact, very intimately connected, and where one is ( Pandemonium), the other ( Don Carlos) is sure at last to be found. RABID RAMSGATE. One of the papers tells us, that " Ramsgate has been in a high state of excitement, owing to the exertions of the Corporators and Anti- Corporators to get signatures for and against a Corporation Charter.' Now we, who are fully alive to the consequences of any convulsion, whether it be metropolitan or provincial, have been greatly chagrined to hear of the convulsed state of that fishy, smokey, raffley, and riffey little marine doll shop, and oceanic Tory bazaar, known to the cockneys as Ramsgate. We think it a very great pity that the Corporators and Anti- corporators have been thrown into such a state, and we should say that the worthy char- terers and no- charterers must be of a very plethoric temperament to allow of their being so easily excited. We understand one cor- porator went quite mad, while another corporator dashed himself off the top of the watchbox, and met with a streety grave. The rabid state of the Ramsgate- argians is only to be equalled by the excitement among the little Bedlingtonians, the Stoke Pogians, and other worthies of the same kind, who have been immortalised bv Hood and others. Had we been on the spot at the time of the great excitement, we should have had them all pumped upon by the sea, which might have cooled them, and if old Neptune were as much tip to the humbug of th ® thing as we are, he would cer- tainly have swamped them in his watery embraces. A SPIRITED VENDOR- One of the vendors of newspapers was, as Charley Pearson would say, vending, or wending, his way along the Strand, when an impertinent blue devil stopped him, and wanted to examine the contents of his wrapper. The vendor instantly instructed the blue devil into what a wrapper might be, by giving the said blue devil a wrap or two in the eye,— so that the wrapper was sure to be near enough to the blue devil's optics. We wish every other vendor would shew he was at least worth a rap, by adopting the same rapid mode of answering all impertinent enquiries. The police- man walked away, wrapt in contemplation deep. We trust our readers will excuse this rhapsody. THE SPANISH EXPEDITION. Parliament seems to be only a place for making speeches ; but as to transacting business in it, that seems to be most utterly out of the question. A member is found to make a speech about every thing ; he then moves no further in the matter, and sits down quietly and lazily, under the comfortable assurance that he has at least done his duty, by bringing the affair under the notice of Parliament. The present por- tion of the auxiliaries in Spain has been once or twice touched upon in both Houses, but nothing has been done upon the subject. Every day accounts are now arriving of their deplorable condition, and of the shameful barbarities practised by Don Carlos towards such as are un- fortunate enough to fail into his power. These subjects have frequently been made the theme of a parliamentary speech, but nothing more has LONDON. arisen from it. The state of the English in Spain now seems to be de- plorable, and it is high time something should be done, and some in- terference given, to rescue them from their present situation. We can- not but reprobate the weakness of the Government, which, though it has secretly interfered, and guaranteed the payment of the expenses of the expedition, has not the common spirit to avow its interference, but goes sneaking on, allowing the country to be insulted in the persons of those who have joined the British auxiliaries. We trust lhat, after these remarks, some one in the house will have the manliness to take the affair up, and demand at the hands of our Government some de- cided line of policy, one way or the other. The neglect the Ministers have shewn is disgraceful to their characters. OPEN WINDOWS* Some of the poor fellows who were in the house that fell down at Liverpool, were waiting for a wind to take them to America. The Bishop of Exeter whose great benevolence is not a banier upon his well known wit, said, " Waiting for a wind indeed, what a blow the accident must have been to them." FRENCH TASTE. Every body is infected with what is called French taste, which, by the bye, is no taste at all, except a uost corrupt and vitiated kind of taste for every sort of monstrosity. Even the English are partial to horrors; Hare was hunted, which is nothing very unna- tural, for people like hunting hares ; but we allude to another kind of game, and that was Hare, the famous suffocator. Burke, too, was quite a lion, until the hangman ended his excessively hapless days, and then he was quite an attractive piece of stage exhibition. Thurtell's gig was sold for five times its value, because it belonged to a murderer; and as to the brains of the murdered men, they were bought up at a price such as never before was given for such an article, whether dashed out, blown out, or otherwise. But great as is the English'gout for'horrors, we do not come near the French for this kind of thing, who never can sup sufficiently full of horrors. Fieschi has been a tremendous lion, though most persons think he rather resembled a tremendous tiger; but whether tiger, lion, hyaena, panther, or rhinoceros, he has made a most delightful thing to talk about. Fieschi was a rare murderous rascal, and the enthusiasm about him has been proportionate to his rascality. Then again, Nina Lassave, his mistress and accomplice, has been made a raree show of, and has positively been let out to a coffee shop, at the rate of twopence per day, as a star, to draw in the lovers of coffee and murder; where for twopence a cup, they can drink their mocha, and quaff their horrors at the same moment. In fact, though we imitate France in every thing, we ought not to advance too rapidly in following its propensities to the horrific, or we shall be patronizing parricide, fratricide, regicide, infanticide, suicide, homicide, and all other cides be- sidea, by the way of getting up domestic spectacles for the contemplation of those inclined to such curiosities. FIGARO IN LONDON. 109 BREVITIES. A Joke in a Barry- tone. Sir John Hobliouse has been recommending the adoption of the plan of a Mr. Barry for the new Houses of Parliament. He is the very man to build such houses, for Barry should be employed ia erecting what are in every sense the barri- ers to improvement. The Rale Truth, Some opposition was made to the 2nd reading of the Northern Rail- way Bill- We presume that the gentlemen who objected to it, and calumniated the Railway, preferred their own way of railing. Propounding a Question. The Chancellor of the Exchequer proposes to reduce the stamp doty on newspapers to one penny. This may be penny wise, but it is unquestionably poundfoolish. The Penitent Knight. The advocates of ignorance are delighted to hear that the govern- ment refuses to takeoff the penny from newspapers. We call it on their parts a great want of penetration ( penny tration.) A Good Division. " There is one thing that the House of Commons and Lords would mightily like to divide," said Fergus O'Connor to Mrs. Nisbett. " And what's that," said the lady. " Why the supplies',; they'd like to divide them amongst themselves," was the reply of the patriotic patlander. THEATRICALS. Laporte will, we have every reason to believe, have a successful season. There has been some squabbling between himself and Seguin; though we regret that the venerable, white- headed, six- foot- six, and black- gartered Seguin, should have a row with any body. The worthy old codger has long been a favourite with us. We used to like the consequential air with which he used to pick the outside of his right nostril, while taking on business in the box- office of the Opera. We used to venerate his head, and always have made curious speculations as to whether it be natural grey hair that covers it, or powder from Hendries. In fact, he is a favourite of ours, from top to toe; that is to say, from the grey cockatoo's crest on the top of his pole down to the substantial iran tip at the bottom of his ' su- perior men's strong bluchers.' We regret that there should have been any flare- up between Laporte and Seguin; for we think they have stuck toge- ther a long time, and they ought not now to fall out about trifles. There may be, and probably is, a good deal of humbug about Seguin's services being indispensible to the King's Theatre, but still we are partial to seeing his fine indented parchment phiz about the premises, and we wish Laporte; for ' auld lang syne,' had shoved him into some sinecure about the pre- mises. We have some thoughts of allowing him a sinecure out of our own pockets, rather than not see him about the house. We miss him, and so do others ; but missing his services is a delicious clap- trap. At Drury Lane, ' Chevy Chase' has been hopping lamely along through the week, and is being performed because the admirable management of Bunn has nothing ready to replace it. If he could possibly put it aside he would ; but his great activity has left him in such want of novelty, that he is forced to continue ' Chevy Chase,' though it is acting as a powerful pre- ventive check against the possibility of any money coming into the treasury. With Bonn's customary talent and punctuality in management, he has an- nounced ' Zampa' for at least six different nights, and has failed to do so. In fact,' The Jewess ' and ' Chevy Chase,' have been the only two things he has done requiring either extra- trouble, or extra- expence in producing And yet this is the indefatigable manager, If he does not tire himself, he tires the public, and what is more, he tired Captain Polhill so thoroughly that he let Bunn get into the concern altogether, rather than continue in it, so thoroughly disgusted had he become with Bunn's management. It is in our opinion lamentably bad, he has disappointed the public on numerous occasions, and this instance of ' Zampa's' postponement is a very flagrant one. But the excuse he gives for it is rather a masterpiece of foolery, mingled with chicanery. He says, ' that out of respect to the public, he will not give the ope'a too soon but he shews a great want of respect in tampering with the public, and announcing every day a performance he is not able to present to them. The best , of the joke is, he says ' Zampa' will improve by being delayed, as if he thought music like wine gets bet- ter by keeping. The success of the Oratorios has been so great, that they have been half dropped ; but on some one or two nights Bunn has given the ' Messiah,' which though well performed has done no good, so that the Mess- higher, has got him into the mess- deeper. Yates's Jewessizing ex- pedition has also been far from successful, and though it lias perhaps saved something by getting rid of Yates's interference in Drury Lane, which bad as it is without him, would have been much worse with him, yet the affair is a most considerable failure, so that on all hands Bunn is in for it. Covent Garden has this season been said not to b » worth more than one damn, but it is worth at least two damns, was proved by the proceedings on Saturday. Osbaldiston with at least an intention to be spirited, which does him some credit, had announced two novelties on the same evening, one an opera, the other, a grand military spectacle. A tolerably well. filled house attended to witness their production, when lo, and behold ! ,' they were proved to be two as dead failures as any ever presented to the public, even through the medium of the preseut rather contemptible management. The first of these new pieces was what is called a new opera by Herold, under, the title of 1 Zampa,' which is nothing more than a rifacciamento of an affair done at the Olympic, by the Covent Garden company under the title of the ' Bridal Promise.' It was on this occasion worse done than before, and had the advantage, as some critics say, ' of being performed by the worst set of people that could have been clapped into it. Though it pro- fessed to be a full opera, the only singer in it was Miss E. Roiner, who was forced positively into a part subordinate to the one takeu by Miss Turpin. The result 6of . this, as might have been expected, was highly detrimental to the performance, for Miss Turpin is not fit to hold a rush- light to Miss E. Romer as the bills call her, though Mrs. Almond is her proper name, and whether she be a burnt almond, a sugared almond, or a bitter almond, we^ sbould like to have her announced under her proper appel- lation; the fact is, that the managers seem to think a Miss is better than a Mistress, and if a Miss can make a better hit than a Madame, Osbaldiston and Co. are quite right in divorcing Mrs. Almond. Collins, Manvers, and a few others did their best to damn the opera, and their efforts were crown- ed with perfect success, for the damnation was unequivocal. After ' Zampa,' however, came the grand treat of the evening, being a new grand military spectacle from the pen of Captain Wilson, a gentleman well known in the half- yay and cheap chop house circles. The spectacle is, or rather was called the ' Fate of War,' and its fate was to have war made against it from the rising of the curtain to its falling. Nobody listened to one word of the dialogue after the first scene, and so far the audience showed itself to be possessed of the nicest discrimination. At length the audience began a most terific bombardment of hisses, and the utmost volley of shouts of horror that ever was known, was poured out from the volcanic throats of an excited audience.. The military evolutions were so disgraceful as to render an apology necessary from the stage- manager, Mr. H. Wallack who penitently confessed his inability to do anything better. He then in- formed the house that he had not sanctioned the .' piece, and that his plan would have been to have subs! ituted sense for nonsense, from which we must infer that he offered to write the piece over again, but was not allowed to do so by the management, The uproar ended in a most abject apology, and a promise on the part of the proprietors not to do so any more, so that the ' Fate of War,' has been sinee withdrawn from the playbills. Fitzball has had a fine chuckle over the two damns, and is delighted to find he is not answerable for either of them. So are we. Vestris and Braham have had excellent seasons,— a fact which is the 52 FIGARO IN LONDON. oonsequence of jood and rcipectable management. Vestris owes very lit- tle of her success to her authors, for, with the exception of one or two pieces, not one she has brought out would have stood, but for the excel- lent manner in which the performers have supported it. Mr. Haynes Bayly has become the scribe for this house, and the piece, called ' Forty and Fifty,' which we cut up last week, i s, we hear, from his prolific goose quill. He has translated one or two vaudevilles passably enough, but hi9 acquirements do not seem to be of a very high order. At the St. James's Theatre, Mr. Braham has re appeared as the Seraskier, and his singing of the songs in it is really quite refreshing to one to hear. The way in which he gives ' My heart with lore is beating' is, as every body knows, une- qualled. The performance throughout is a treat to his admirers,— a class that comprehends, we should imagine, all Christendom. Mrs. Honey, as Lilla, acted with vivacity, but she did not seem to be at home in the part. The papers will have it that she has overrated herself, but we must beg theii pardon, and tell them, that, as she is rated, she must have been rated by the press, and now it is too bad of them to turn round and rate her, as they have been lately doing. If a woman is a favourite, either the press or the public must have made her so ; and if they have allowed her fame without merit, they act very sneakingly, snobbishly, andSunday- newspaper- reporterly, in trying to take it away from her. The other parts in the Opera were well filled. Miss Glossop, as Catharine, sang with conside a- ble science, and with very good taste. Mitchell and Strickland, as Leopold and Yuseph, contributed to the comic parts of the piece, which went off, on the whole, very successfully. Mr. Braham is said to have cleared be- tween two and three thousand pounds in his short season of three months. Bunn has cleared exactly the latter sum— out of his pockets; it having been put into them by the booksellers to whom he pawned the private boxes at the commencement of the season. As we are bound to give all the minors a turn, and as the public looks to us, as the superstitious of old used to look to their oracles ( only that there was a good deal of gammon about the oracles, whereas there is none about us) ; in consequence, we say, of this feeling in the public mind, we feel it is an act of common mercy in us to notice every Theatre in its turn ; for so sure as we do not, so surely does the amount of rent dimi nish that a proprietor is able to get for it. With this feeling, which, as the clap- traps say, " does alike honour to head and heart," we benevo- lently give the Queen's Theatre a turn, and we regret exceedingly to say, that what we are forced to say on the subject is sufficient to turn it over. The house, we regret to state, is badly managed, the pieces are wretchedly selected, and the company is, with one or two exceptions, such a one as Richardson would consider weak, if he wanted to give his barn a lift in public estimation. There are one or two clever people in it. There is Mrs. Nisbett, and there is little Oxberry, as the papers will call him, thou jh he is at least three feet ten ; but they are the only two performers of any talent in the company. Then, the pieces are written principally by Collier and Millingen,— two names, illustrious only in these pages, be- cause we do ferret out the obscure, and give them all the shame due to their misdoings. It is the practice with some critics to say, " We won't mention his name, because he's so particularly obscure, no one would know his name if it were mentioned " They say, Mr. Collier or Miilin- gen is not before the public; but, as Lord Erskine said of the governor of Seringapatam, " we will drag him before the public.'' Poor Collier might be spared, only that there is a clever Chronicle.; but the Collier we allude to, is a gentleman who writes at per line in the Court Journal.— Millingen calls himself doctor, arid puts D. D. at the end of his name, which said d— d always comes at the end of his farces. We presume, as he is a doctor, he deals in physic; but, at all events, if he is no doctor off the stage, he physics enough on, though, fortunately for the public, his nostrums have been a dead and unsaleable. He walks about, talking of the ' Bee- Hive.' What this ' Bee Hive' is good for Millingen only knows. We understand it is a farce done some sixty years ago by this said Mil- lingen ; but, thank our modern stars, we never saw it, probably because none of our modern stars would ever play in it. We wonder he don't get it up for Mrs. Honey, as then there would be the virtue of consistency in the piece, it being Honey in the Bee- Hive. ADVERTISEMENTS. Copyright Plays only Sixpence each ; the following are nom ready, VICTOR1NE; or, I'LL SLEEP ON IT. By J. B. BUCKSTOKE. THE DREAM AT SEA. - - do. AGNES DE VERE, & c. & c. - - do. A GENTLEMAN IN DIFFICULTIES. - By T. H. BAYLY. COMFORTABLE SERVICE. - - do. ONE HOUR ; or THE CARNIVAL BALL. do. THE DAUGHTER. - - do. This Edition is handsomely printed on good paper, with Stage ( Directions, Costume, Caste of Characters, & c. under the immediate superintendence of the Authors. Publishing in Weekly Numbers, price One Penny each, and in Monthly Parts, price Fourpcnce, with beautiful Engravings, and hot- pressed, ALES OF ALL NATIONS; or, POPULAR LEGENDS AND ROMANCES. T PIG'S MEAT! This day is published, price Twopence, ACATECHISM for the Use of the SWINISH MULTITUDE, by the late Professor Porson. To which is added, A Dialogue between John Bull and President Yankee, on Monarchies and Republics. " Grundibat graviter pecus suillum."— CLAUDIUS. TO BOOKBINDERS. Just published, Price 2s. 6d., the Fourth Edition of I^ HE BOOKBINDER'S MANUAL— Containing a full description -•- of leather and vellum binding. Also, directions for gilding of paper and book- edges, and numerous valuable receipts for sprinkling, colouring, and marbling— tables of dimensions, weights, & c. of mill- board— together with a scale of B okbinders' charges, and a list of all the book and vellum- binders in London. DEDICATED TO W. C. MACREADY, ESQ. \ Just published, 18mo. price 2s. 6d., neat cloth boards, THE DRAMA VINDICATED ; with copious Notes. By JOHN DENMAN, S. C. L. ( of St John's College, Cambridge.) Cambridge: Smith. London : W. Strange, Patemoster- rOW j Onwhyn, Ca- therine- street, Strand. It has merit as a coup d'ceil of dramatists and the drama.— Spectator. A pleasing and intelligent little volume, on a subject of general interest. Satirist. A temperate and judicious vindication of the drama.— Literary Gazette. This book should be in the possession of every one who is, or professes to be, a lover of the drama.— Figaro. Published by W. STRANGE, No. 21, Paternoster Row; and Sold by Wakelin, late Cleave. 1. Shoe- lane, Fleet Street; No. 18, Commercial Place, City Roa d • No. 126, Strand; Purkess, Compton Street, Soho; Lewis, Manchester; Cooper, Birmin g- ham ; Mrs. Mann, Leeds; Hey wood, Manchester; 13, Strutton Ground, Westminster - and all Booksellers. FRANKS'S SPECIFIC SOLUTION of COPAIBA.- This Medicine has been extensively used in many of the Metropolitan Hospitals, and ^ in the practice of several distinguished members of the Me- dical Profession, as the most speedy and effectual remedy for the cure of all diseases— which are particularly described in the directions accompanying the Medicine of the Urinary Organs, It isperfectly innocent in its operation, and its effi- cacy is verified by testimonials from the following, amongsi several other eminent members of the profession. Joseph Henry Green, Esq., F. R. S., one of the Council of the Royal College of Surgeons, Surereon to St. Thomas's Hospital, and Professor of Surgery^ in King's O ollege, Lon- on ; Bransby Cooper, Esq., F. R S.. Surgeon to Guy's Hospital, and Lecturer on Anatomy, & c. & c. William Hentsch, Esq., House Surgeon to the Free Hospi- al, Greville street, Hatton garden, Alexander Tweedie, Esq. Surgeon to the free hospital, Greville- street, Hatton garden. ^^ This invaluable Medicine is prepared only by Geo. Franks, Surgeon, w, Blackfiiarsroad, and may be had of his agents, Barclay and Sons, Farriog- don- street, London— at the Medical Hall, 54, Lower Sackville- street, Dublin— of J. and R. Raimes, Leith walk, Edinburgh— and of all wholesale and retail Patent Medicine Ven- ders in the United Kingdom, Sold in bottles at 2s 9d., 4s. 6d., and lis. each, duty included Caution— To prevent imposition, the Hon. Commissioners of Stamps have directed the name of " Geo. Franks, Blackfriars- road," to be engraven on the Government Stamp. N. li The Medical Profession, Hospitals, and other Medical Charities, supplied uSHal from the pi oprietor. Printed and Published ( for the Proprietor) by W STRANGE, 21, PATERNOSTER ROW.
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