FMwARO IN LOMOOM. Satire should like a polish'd razor keen, Wound with a touch that's scarcely felt or seen.— LADY MONTAGUE. " Political Pasquinades and Political Caricatures are parts ( though humble ones,) of Political History. They supply information astothe person and habits, often as to the motives and objects of public men, which cannot be found elsewhere."— CROKER'S NEW WHIG GUIDE. No. 172. SATURDAY, MARCH 21, 1835. [ Price One Penny. then would the much- bewhiskeredErnest, with tattered garb, sweep the St. James' crossing, while the pensive voice of the pretty Vic- toria would elicit eleemosynary contributions from the admirers of youthful beauty and street music— and Billy and his rib, A vagabonding husband, and a rantipoling wife, Would fiddle it and scrape it through the ups and downs of life Or like ' Poor frozen- out gardeners,' with the Crown " upon a pole, the King and Court would parade the purlieus of Pall- Mail, soliciting the charity of the passengers for a King out of work, and Courtiers, whose business is very bad. This is the true way to work the Tories, say we. Away with your speeches on their policy— speak at once to their pockets— that's the sore place. THE INTERPRETER. The pensive pencil of the pathetic Seymour has painfully and prophetically painted the effect of a Stoppage in the Supplies, which the ' cruel and calculating' Hume so impolitely threatens to inflict on the flinching Tory Administration ; this is the true schoolmas- ter's rod used to keep Tory school- bovs in order, and tickle ' em up to the true task— to them a very hard one— of reform. If the Supplies were stopped, half the dashing young bloods in town would be down on their marrowbones, craving for charity. The gold- laced foot- guards, the swaggering horse- guards, would sink into their own jack boots, shrivelled up with starvation and dis may. Then would Treasury Clerks peep from their office windows with unshaved chins, dirty shirts, and woe- belengthened faces— VOL. IV. Newspaper People. Of all the serious farces which exhibit themselves to the man, who, like the philosopher of antiquity, can look upon hisfellowmen as - puppets pulled by the strings of their follies, their passions, and their vanity, and can think upon human life, as but the great dramatic scene of action, on which they are compelled to exhibit— of all absurdities the greatest is the moral effect of newspapers in the formation of public opinion, and the immense power wielded by an engine of such faulty construction as the Public Press. Can we in private life and domestic circumstances, separate tlie man from his connections and their consequent prejudices ? from his personal antipathies and unreasonable partialities? Can we render him invulnerable to those minute sympathies, those trifling causes, which by the accumulation of aggregate force, like the axe strokes on the mighty oak, produce such great effects on the mind ? How then, can we prevent the newspapers from reflecting the personal and peculiar feelings of the writer, the editor, and the proprietor. Years ago, the Times advocated the people's cause ; Mr. Walters G Cowia. Printer, 13, Newcastle Street, Strand 108 FIGARO IN LONDON. was not then High Sheriff of Berkshire, or Member for the County; neither did Mr. Barnes dine with Lords, or feast at the table of Prime Ministers. Newspaper people and newspaper scribes, were despised, looked down upon, and scorned by an aristocracy, strong in its hold upon the prejudices, and yet una wakened minds, of the middling classes and the gentry. But times are changed, and a wholesome fear of public opinion has fallen upon politicians, who as they cannot controul the election of the representatives of public opinion, go to the fountain head at once, and poison the mainspring; not by bribery; not by open direct sovereigns; but by the little arts and attentions, which flatter the pride and bewilder the heads of men, who have no fixed hold, no acknowledged rank, no positive station in society. Times are changed. Mr. Walters mixes with the noblesse ; Mr. Walters is a magistrate, » nd imbibes the opinion and prejudices of his ' order,' and throwing aside all recollection of the original founda- tion of his wealth, unites himself with the magistrates and aristo- cracy. The Poor Law Bill curtails the privileges, and is repugnant to the prejudices, mark, reader, not the feelings, of the magistrates. The power of administration of funds, of giving orders on over- seers, of petty tyranny, is taken away from them and given to others— all this annoys the new magistrate, Mr. Walters. Not for the poor man's sake, but for Mr. Walters' sake, the Times takes up the cudgels against tke New Poor Laws; Lord Brougham, on the contrary, advocates the new system, and ridicules Mr. Walters and his brother magistrates. The Times attacks Lord Brougham, covers him ' with cursing as with a garment,' and throws mud at liim, some of which will be sure to stick. Constant droppings will wear out a stone, and continual abuse in the newspapers will render any man an object of public suspicion, contempt and hatred. The Ministry are expelled, and Lord Brougham falls, ' never to rise again,' as some people foolishly expected. Not so— like a star, he still keeps on the even tenor of his way, still rising through all the clouds and political storms which seem to darken round his shining path. But who, in all this, can deny the per- sonal feeling of a newspaper ? Look at the debates in the Chro- nicle, reported to the advantage of the Whigs; in the Times, in favour of the Tories ; and these are the great formers of public opinion, and furnish data for calculation to devouring politicians ! A man who takes but one newspaper, is like a man who has but one ear. But we ourselves most suspect a newspaper- writer, when he pretends to feel for his ruined country a false commiseration, equalled only by the pretended pity of a country surgeon who condoles with you on your broken leg, and curses the carelessness of the stage- coachman who has upset you at his door, thus giving him the chance of a good patient, and the unexpected appari- tion of a fee. Just as insincere is the pretended patriotic feeling of uewpapers, which thrive, flourish, and sell better in times of discord and tumult— so that, as Nero is said to have fiddled while Rome was burning, we may imagine a newspaper Editor on the eve of a revolution, writing his leader in a snug parlour, and cracking his joke, while half the homesteads of Essex are in a blaze, and the red demon of war is uncoupling his dogs for their bloody sport. Well and truly does a French Novelist say of these gentry— " A journalist! my dear friend 1 a journalist! a miserable wretch of the broadsheet— a pamphleteer! Do you know, my friend, what a journalist is? He is a fellow who lives upas misfortunes, cala- mities, and caricatures. A man to whom nothing is sacred ; who makes a joke of your wife, of your nose, of your wig, of your dis- course, of your actions, of your infirmities; who sees nothing in an event but a bon- mot; who points a sentence with disaster; puns upon your diseases; cuts quirks over your death, and sports epi- grams at your funeral. A monster, in short, who should be put out of the pale of society." Magisterial Marriages. • Sir Robert Peel introduced his measure for the relief of persons dissenting from the Established Church, in regard to the celebration of marriage. It seemed, on the whole, to give satisfaction, and has, at least, the merit of sim- plicity. The members of the Church of England are unaffected by the Bill. Persons who do not belong to the Established Church, and who object to the celebration of marriage according to its ritual, may, after a residence of seven days in a certain hundred, go before a magistrate, after giving previous no- tice, who will preside at the performance of a civil ceremony of marriage, or rather the acknowledgment of the contract. The parties must declare, on oath, that they are above the age of 21, that the contract is with the consent of parents or guardians, and that they are not aware of any legal impediment. The magistrate will transmit a copy of the certificate to the clergyman of the parish, who, as registrar, will enter the marriage among the others, receiving for his trouble a fee of five shillings, A fee of two shillings is to be paid to the magistrate, so that the whole expense is to be seven shillings. Dissenters may still, if they choose, be married according to the present mode in the Established Church : or they may, in addition to the civil contract, superadd a religious ceremony in theirown way.'— Morning Chronicle. A Dissenter's marriage, according to the new bill, will be a charge of assault brought before a magistrate, by a young man against a young woman, " for that by various oglings, leerings, glances, & c., together with sharp instruments, tongues, eyes, & c. she did feloniously cut, wound, bruise, & c., the heart of the said Charles," whereupon the magistrate will inflict the summary pun- ishment of imprisonment for life, commonly called ' Marriage,' together with two shillings expences, on the said Jemima. How highly exciting and amusing will the Bow Street reports now be. " Atrocious Assault.— Love at first sight," will, with the interesting particulars, delight every breakfast table in London. Fleet- Marriages were formerly abused— what will our fair friends think of Bow Street Marriages 1 And when the ardent lover sighs forth his soul at Caroline's feet, how singular it will sound to hear the young lady, instead of insinuating the Gretna Green blacksmith, sob forth, ' Oh! my beloved Adolphus, run for a Constable Modern Inspiration. " I felt a sort of inspiration, I hive felt it before."— Sir 11. Gresley. Old Oliver's " seeking the Lord" was nothing to this well- timed inspiration of Sir Roger's, in which we see the true principles of the present administration— and disco* er, for the first time, the reasons for certain late events otherwise unaccountable. Thus when the King turned out Lord Melbourne, it was not a court in- trigue, or back- stairs bamboozlement,— no— it was inspiration. Sir R. Peel was inspired at Rome to take the government, and nothing but inspiration could have supported the Duke under the weight of six places at once. What but inspiration has changed the Tories to Reformers. What but inspiration could have induced them to ap. point Lord Londonderry ? and nothing short of inspiration could have induced him to resign. And what but inspiration, of no small size, could have changed the minds of 400 members who pledged themselves to vote for the repdal of the Malt Tax, and who could only muster a miuority of 115 in favour of such repeal. All hail, then, the inspired administration ! But such events should not remain unsung, and the ballad of ' Margaret's Ghost' will supply us with a fit idea to celebrate, THE VISION OF SIR ROGER OR, THE GRISLY GHOST! Shewing how a vision of place and pension appeared to a young Baronet, and what followed therefrom .— ' Twas at that sad and solemn place, Where Whig and Tor* meet, In glided Roger's Grisly ghost, And stood by Bobby's feet. FIGARO IN LONDON. 179 His face was like an April storm, Clad in a well cocked beaver; And rings bedecked tlie lily hand, That show'd the gay deceiver. And round about, and through the House, His face with rapture fired, He rolled his eyes, till all cried out Sir Roger was inspired. ' Why did I pledge my honour bright, I ne'er would turn my coat ? Why did 1 win electors hearts, And then against them vote? 4 I saw a vision in the night, It spoke to me of Malt; It said, ' Young man, you soon will have No porridge to your salt!' I turned and tumbled in my bed, And thought that I should die : It spoke of pensions and of place, It whispered,' Treasury.' It talked of Radicals and Whigs, Of Tories, cunning elves ! And then it asked me, if I thought, Such men would tax themselves ? It spoke of tax on property, Which shook my resolution, it spoke of taxing gentlemen! And threatened Dissolution. And last of all it did to me A secret dire reveal, That, if I voted as I said, My vote would turn out Peel. A voice from Heaven, a Holy voice, Has bid me turn my coat, And this I think's a reason good To give Bob Peel my vote.' Then rose the whispering of Whigs, And Thomas Baring's crew, Then great Sir Knatclibull changed his vote, Aud Chandos then looked blue. ' Twas then Sir Jemmy Graham rose, Sir Jemmy, best of men— He swore he oft had turned his coat, He'd turn it then again. Then followed all the general rout, Who promised in December To vote against the Tax, but none Could then such pledge remember. So have I seen the silly sheep Jump in a ditch together. If first has ventured on the leap, Some sillier old Bell Wether. Diamond cut Diamond ; or. Thief v. Lawyer. " Mr. Munns complained to the Vice Chancellor that two of his clients had been robbed in court."— Morning Chronicle. This confession is extremely candid on the part of the learned gentleman. But can he say that his clients are the only two gen- tlemen who have been robbed in a Court of Law, although no one of the long- speeched gentlemen in the long robe has hitherto had the candour to acknowledge it? The anger of the Vice Chan- cellor, and the general excitement of the Court at Mr. Munns's declaration, is highly ludicrous. That any one should be robbed in that court! that any one should dare to pick 4 my two clients * pockets ! Mr. Munns, it appears, had brought down his game, but another sportsman bagged them; so that Mr. Munns's anger at this robbery, is, not that his client was robbed, but that he was not robbed by Mr. Munns. THE LATE BLOW- UP IN REGENT- STREET. Half of Regent- street was blown up the other day by the force of a comprest sigh which had escaped from the bosom of Lord Londonderry on his late efts- appointment. It was two in the morning of Saturday, when his Lordship gave vent to his sorrow by a vast suspiration of forced breath, which, escaping through the bay- window of Holdernesse House, meandered through the mazes of the main sewer, and finally burst emphatically forth through a baker's oven in Regent- street, smashing a shop window in its pro- gress, and blowing up half the pavement. A dismal howl was likewise heard to proceed from Holdernesse House about twelve on Saturday, which was, after breaking open the doors, found to pro- ceed from his Lordship, who was administering consolation to his wife, in the following elegant ditty:— Tune.— From Great Londonderry, to London so merry. The great Londonderry, to Russia, so merry, King Arthur he sent me the Whigs to deride ; But young Stanley and Sheil have so bothered Bob Peel, That the Tories now shelve me and set me aside. Then away with vain glories, those devils of Tories Have made me fast out of my Embassy hop, Sing dilly oh daisy, my lady be aisy, That Parliament- House is the devil's own shop. His Lordship then swallowed a tumbler of noyeau, and walked down to the House of Lords, where he appeared ' much affected'— according to the newspapers. BREVITIES. Of Great A- waili Q. Why is O'Connell like a whale ? Jj. Because his strength is in his tail. A Warning. It is said that Sir R. Peel has worn an air of abstraction for some time past, He is about to abstract the supplies from John Bull's pocket, and cannot help looking like a thief. The New Dissenters Matter o' Money Bill. In this New Bill the Church is not left in the lurch, Men may wed as they please, but the church takes the fees, So that Peel now insists Church Religion consists Not in cere- monies, but merely in moneys. A Free Press > The Liberty of the Press has rendered it necessary for the minis- try to do away with the Liberty of Impressment. 40 FIGARO IN LONDON: A Halteration in the Ministry. So determined are the Tories to stick to place, that we shall not hear the news of their resignation, until the noose has reached them. His Ex- Excellency. " How does Londonderry bear his loss ?" enquired Peel of Cro- ker—" Oh!" replied the ex- secretary, " he looks the picture of re- signation !" PARLIAMENTARY OPENINGS. Sir R. Peel thought it better to postpone— The Duke of Wellington thought it better to avoid excite- ment— Sir Roger Gresly said he changed his opinion according to cir- cumstances— THEATRICALS. A comedy, by Peake, is promised at Drury Lan 3 this week ; but we shall be at press before it comes out. Lapc/ J te, we are happy to find, has conquered aRthe obstacles which the malice of lawyers, and the suicidal eagerness of over- anxious creditors, have thrown in his way, and opens the King's Theatre this evening. We shall attend in our accustomed box. The Minors now supply us with the only novelties, and some egregious specimens of rich absurdity are nightly brought forward on their boards. We have the kindest feeling towards the fair manageress of the Queen's Theatre ; but is there not rather too much of the Mor- daunts there ? When Pompey the Great dined in Egypt, they gave him a dinner of pork, consisting of a thousand dishes, each dressed in a different manner, but as Pompey observed, after all, it was all pork. So we find the Mordaunts, and Mrs. Nisbett, in various pieces— but still it is all Mordaunt. Mrs. Nisbett herself, com- bines all the attractions of the family in herself, and eclipses even the dark- eyed and wicked looking Miss J. Mordaunt. Therefore one sister of a family is quite sufficient at the same theatre. We have heard certain things reported of this theatre and its reputed pro- prietors ; certain arrangements and are said to be on foot, which we hope are not true. The Victoria Theatre presents the phenomenon of a crowded stage, and an empty house. We saw a bill stuck up outside this theatre, offering a reward for ' a bag of sovereigns, stolen from the box office it would be better to offer a reward for any one that could find a bag of sovereigns in such a place. There is a Chinese joke, to the following purport, which we recommend to the atten- tion of Mr. Glossop. ' There are thieves breaking into the house,' said a poor woman to her husband. ' Let them alone, my dear,' replied the needy man,' perhaps they will find something to steal, and we may then rob them of it.' The Pavilion and the Garrick are running a race to gain the favour of Petticoat Lane and Rosemary Lane, by the production of ' Esther' and ' Ahasuerus.' We cannot but anticipate a sublime treat in seeing ' the ould closh' in all their glory, and shall attend the spectacle. ' Tom and Jerry' have reissued with great vigour to beat up traditionary Charlies and antique watch boxes at the Adelphi.— Buckstone's Jemmy Green is a study— the innocence, the sim- plicity, the confiding trustingness, the genuine greenness of the character are admirably hit off. Yates's Tom is more mellowed than before. The whole thing goes off like a merry frolic. NOTICES. THE POLITICAL DEVIL'S WALK, BY FIGARO IN LONDON. WITH SIX CARICATURES, PRICE ONE PENNY. 4 Has been reprinted, and those of our subscribers who were disappointed last week, can now complete their sets. The whole of this year's number can now be had at our Publishers. J. 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