FIGARO IN LONDON. * Satire should like a polish'd razor keen, Wound with a touch that's scarcely felt or seen.— LADY MONTAGUE. " Political Pasquinades and Political Caricatures are parts ( though humble ones,) of Political History. Thev supply information as to the person and habits often as to the motives and objects of public men, which cannot be found elsewhere."— CROKER'S NEW WHIG GUIDE. Mo. 223, | SATURDAY, MARCH 12, 1836. Price One Penny J THE BENCH OF BISHOPS- We, in common with others, have noticed lately that death has been attacking the Bishops ; and if the fire of hell had wanted a scuttle of coals to keep it up, we cannot help thinking that a shovel full of Bishops ( thrown on out of their shovel hats) would make a flare- up amazingly. But the fancy of Seymour, which, like the daisy, is freshest in the spring, has in the caricature above put the holy bench quite in a new light; and there is, accordingly, in the tableau that heads this article, a raciness with which our pen and ink cannot keep pace by any means. In fact, there is something about it so " ioerry pekooliar," as the song says, that we do not feel that we can add to its power by our ( comparatively) feeble description. The changes that are going on in episcopal affairs have become the subject of so much excitement in and out of VOL. V. Parliament, that Seymour could not help feeling that the country demanded a caricature at his fingers. We trust he has not disap- pointed his fellow men. While we are on the subject of holy sees, we may as well mention a facetious occurrence of the other night, when Lord Londonderry, in the House of Lords, hoped the see of Durham would not be curtailed of its revenues, because, as the late Bishop had been in the habit of giving the judges a luncheon at assize times, the successor would wish to follow the pious ex- ample. Now, we cannot see why the public should pay an im- mense sum to a Bishop to sport a slap- up luncheon for a judge, when, the truth is, that the judge ought to be able to pay his ovvn luncheon. There are many who have to go without any meals at all, to enable these fellows to feast; and, instead of taking away the fat of the land, a Bishop ought to be content with the fat of the see. We have heard the sea called barren, but it could not be a Bishop's see that was the origin of such a disgrace. We can only say, we do most sincerely trust that while the Bishops are being pruned of their perquisites, we may have the great satisfac- tion of finding that wholesale reduction in their revenues which alone can be recognised as the fundamental principle of the Christian religion, and those grand constitutional principles which it has been the successful aim of this publication to preserve in their pristine respectability. BAD READING. A motion was made in the House of Common?, the other night, that in future all bills instead of being printed in black letter, should be printed in a clear round hand. This certainly is no great evidence of the increased mental cultivation of the House of Commons, even if it can boast an improvement in a moral sense, since the passing of the Reform Bdl. That the honourable members find some difficulty in reading is a point of ignorance for which even tt( were not prepared, and we certainly did think that we never were remarkable for an ex- aggerated estimate of their abilities. We, however, never expected to W. Strange, 21, Paterrcster Row. 42 FIGARO IN LONDON. hear of their calling for an improvement in the bad writing of the people who do the bill for their perusal, and as they are in such a rude state of ignorance, we thing the best think to be done, is for the House to adjourn some night to Bradberry's, where they can get six lessons in writing at a very cheap rate. RAYNER AND ROYALTY. It seems that Raynrr has been at variance with the reigning powers in respect to the Strand Theatre which said theatre, has been made the object of the nfost unremitting persecution ever chronicled. Troops of comedians have been emptied out of it wholesale, like oysters out of a sack, and not one son of Momus has been allowed to practise his mimic art within its walls, but he has been threatened to be furnished with the materials for a grand pas de quinze on the fifteen accommodating tread- mill. It is true that oaeor two speculative gentle- men have within the last six months opened this concern, with the laudable view of getting hold of one week's receipts, and speculat- ing upon the Chamberlain's order to shut up, as a satisfactory answer of all demands upon the treasury. The fellow who has thus victim- ised actors and tradesmen, walks clean out of sight with the money taken during the week, and though never to be found, is perpetually to be talked about as a victim to legal tyranny. But poor Rayner's case is rather a hard one— and the way in which the Ravel Family has been turned out we think truly unjustifiable. The Ravel Family pur- possed to keep strictly within the terms of the Magistrates License. They carefully kicked out their heels in strict conformity to the 39th George the Second, and never gave even a hectic prance that was not most marvellously within the meaning of the statute. And yet the hand of authority has been put upon them, and they are told to tumble out of the theatre, they had been tumbling in, with a great share of public satisfactisn. The terms of the license would have suffered it, but the Chamberlain would not, and they have been thrust out accord- ingly. We, however, are not the appointers or the supervisors of Lord Chamberlains, and we therefore can do nothing but point out the great injustice of visiting this theatre with great legal penalties while others, with the same license, are suffered to proceed with impunity. INTERPRETER. Oh, Crikey> We see by the Morning Post that a marriage is about to take place be- tween Viscount Chelsea, eldest son of Earl Cadogan, and his accom- plished cousin, Miss Wellesley, a niece of the Duke of Wellington. We merely notice this, not because we think it worth any notice at all, but be- cause the name of Viscount Chelsea strikes us as being most eminently quissical, The idea of calling a marquis after the truly blackguard neighbourhood of Chelsea diverts us amazingly. Lord Brompton would have been more genteel, or Baron Bun House, but Chelsea is horrid. We presume as the gentleman is a young one, Little Chelsea must be alluded to. Royal Amativeness Royalty in our country is known to have a peculiarly domestic turn, and the fatherly, motherly, sisterly, brotherly, unclely,' cousinly, auntly pro • pensities of our own royal family are the theme of the penny- a- liners, and the envy of surrounding nations. We are however truly delighted to find that royalty in other places shows a strong penchant for the domestic du- ties, and the rapid succession of marriages on the part of some of the royal ladies abroad, shows that they cannot possibly exist in single cur- sedness. The young queen of Portugal we nave quoted once cr twice, and now we have the young king of Naples, who loved his former wife so well, that now she is dead, he cannot remain a few weeks without a sub- stitute. A paragraph in the Post says that princess Cleme ntine of France is ready to give him her hand directly he is out of his widowhood. This is quick work, and we are delighted to find the domestic feelings so strong in royal hearts, that they cannot survive their consorts without marrying some one else instantly. THE DAIZiY SLOP Our contemporary, The Morning Slop Basin, is a great friend of ours, we think . it chronicles the doings of great people in its own. little way, so appropriately, that we would not crush it, for twopence, though we could do so without one penny worth of trouble. But we think it would be very cruel to take from the infantine minds of the a: istocracy, the daily pap, on which they exist, and which in fact is their only intel- lectual (?) sustenance. If, however, the Po offends us, we must kick it over without remorse, and we therefore must inform the superintendant of the daily slop pot, that he must not presume in his Summary of Par- liament, to be facetious on the subject of the speeches of the various mem- bers in Parliament ; the diluter of the daily slush ought to know that it is a breach of privilege, and he is liable to be lugged up for it, and we shall certainly have him up, if he don't mind what he's after. DARK INSINUATIONS. According to the summary of the Parliamentary proceedings of Tuesday, in The Momiug Herald of Wednesday, Mr. Clay is reported to have said, that we ought to proceed, as if Mr. O'Connell mere not in existence." What does the man mean ? What does this horrible, dark, dangerous, dreadful, diabolical, deadly, and dastardlyjinsinuation drive at? It is as much as to say," murder O'Connell." How are we to gel him out of ex- istence, as Clay says, except by murdering him . But no ! The rabid population will for the sake of humanity, not take the horrible, dark, dan- gerous, deadly, diabolical, deadly, and dastardly hint. Why should O'Connell be murdered ? If Mr. Clay will only prove why he should we shall be very happy to murder him. But we don't at all see the gist of the hint given by Clay. We should say the honourable member was inhuman, but that we know he must be human, because if as religion tells us, " Man is Clay" why Clay must be a man, as a matter of utter consequence. THE CITY GOD, We are extremely jealous of privileges, and we should be very sorry to see the Lord Mayor of London lose any of his long standing rights; a sentiment which makes us glad to see that he is not much disposed to have with any of them. As he is the greatest every thing in the city, so we admit him to possess the right to be the greatest fool in the city; and we are proud to find him at his post in that peculiarly civic character— the best new bit of tom- foolery in which he has appeared, is exhibited in his presidency at a public meeting, which he declared he had called, because he had been called upon to do so, though he impudently declared he did not agree with its object, on which he observed, with all the blunt- ness of an oyster knife, and the pertness of a cock sparrow, I have my own opinion— which is of very great importance! Now this fellow in daring to say his opinion upon any subject at all can be of importance, is exquisitiely rich, but when it happens to be at variance with the opinion of all the world besides, his daring to assume importance for it, is a really civic sketch of comicality— however the meet- ing merely gave a significant wink at O'Connell, who let the poor devil have his drivel quite out, and then went on to the business of the meeting. His Lordship poked his nose into a blue bag, during the whole of the time that the remainder of the meeting held. BLASPHEMY The bills of the Oratorio's, in our opinion, always call for a prosecution on the score of blasphemy, and the one before us is particularly rich in profanity. We give a few of the most outrage- ous specimens:— Lord have mercy upon us." " Now vanish." " Sing ye to the Lord.'''' " They rebuke." " For unto us a child is born." " Lift up your head.'' - Mr. Seguin. - Miss Shirreff. - Mr. Braham. - Miss Fanny Healy. H. Phillips and Miss F. Healy. - Mr. Balfe. These things though they appear trivial, call in our opinion for an instant ex officio, and we are astonished at the Attorney Gene- ral's delaying to issue one. XXIII FIGARO IN BREVITIES. That Air. We understand the Queen takes an airing every rooming. We think this a very strange proceeding on the part of her majesty. Sheets are aired, but queens having an airing seems to be quite a superfluous proceeding. What's in a Name ! The most TJn- fair- man we have heard ot for some time, is Colonel Fair- mail, of Orange notoriety. Our Confessional. Lord Londonderry made a speech the other night in the House of Lords, explaining his own conduct. We believe that as it speaks of himself, it will shortly be printed in a collection of " Confessions of the most notorious bad characters." Blood ! Blood! " What Orange Lodge did you belong to?" asked Kenyon of Cum- berland. " What orange,'' cried the Heir not apparent, " Why the blood orange, to be sure." Kenyon stuck a penknife into his own fin- ger as a tribute to the principles of the Grand Master. City Cons. On Monday last, Winchester took Hobler with him into the ware- house of the former, where all his stock of paper is deposited in reams. " Now," said Winchester, " Why am I equal to William the Fourth ?" then without waiting for a reply, he continued, " because I'm king of these rea{ T) ms" Hobler eat a quire of double post. " Well," con- tinued Winchester, " What French bishop do I resemble ? Why the primate of Rheims, to be sure," said he, speaking for himself, w hich no one would do for him. Hobler gulped down some best cartridge paper. A Low Affair The Carlow job, is an exceedingly lore job. Putting the car entirely out of the question. Jacky Sir John Campbell goes by the name of the Jack in office; because he is a Jish without any bill. Convincing Proofs Sir Robert Peel made a long { speech on " Tuesday night, about Irish Corporation Reform. The measure was carried against him, the House being convinced by his speech— that he was out of his argument. Go it, Jem Sir James Graham in Tuesday's debate, denied the necessity of hav- ing the same laws for England and Ireland. But this gentleman does see the necessity for the same taxes, and the same government. We con- fess that we see neither the necessity for the first, second, or third of these same articles. Alike, but not Alike It was said in the House of Commons, by those who heard Peel's long winded speech on Tuesday night, that there was a great sameness in it. At all events, no one can charge the honourable cotton and yarn spinner, with a sameness of principle. Rather Salt The Post says, that the Countess of Drysalt entertained a large party to dinner, at Ilam House, on Saturday. As it was a dinner party, we think instead of Ham House, a Ham and Beef house, would have been more appropriate. All all events, every thing eaten must have been cut with a hammy knife to give it a flavour. A Dead Calm The papers in speaking of Prince Ernest, of Philippsthall, dub him his serene Highness— continually serene. We wonder if his Highness were put into a devil of a rage what would become of his serenity. THEATRICALS. The Opera opened on Saturday Inst as brilliantly as could be expected from the hurry in which the arrangements were of necessity made, and La- LONDON. 107 porle pere, or rather the pair of Laportes, have, eMitled themselves to a public thanksgiving. ' La Stranera' was the opera Selected for the opening, and in it we had two debuts, the one of Madame Coffeoni Corti, ( of whom in courtesy we shall speak with favour) and the other of Signor Carta- genoua, or, as a mob next us in dirty white kids called him, Mister Carter from Genoa. ^ The lady had a difficult part to play, and if she did not come within a yard or two of her predecessors, she certainly showed evidence of the possession of a strong voice, with execution as rapid as that of Fies- chi and his accomplices. ' She is much superior to soine of these prime donne, who are brought over to this country generally to open the Opera with, prior to the firing of the great guns at a later period. Before the stars arrive, the manager generally has to burn out a few candles, and in the various degrees of candles this lady is an unquestionable wax, in com- parison with some of the palpable dips that have been presented to us at the commencement of former seasons. By the time she has burnt, or flared up, as the saying is, for two or three nights, she will do very well, if the ill- natured press does not succeed in snuffing her out in the interim. By the bye, in comparing her to a candle, we do not say that she has any of the properties of Grisi ( greasy). Her form is slight, in fact it is taper, and her eye has a wick- ed expression. We next turn to our friend Carter from Genoa, or, as the bills call him Signor Cartagenoua. He is a tall coarse man with a fine voice; Nature seems to hare shoved a delicious bar- rytone into a human porter vat. The Signor is about four feet square, but he has one of the most delicious round full- toned voices, we erer had the satisfaction of listening to. It seems that Tamburini, though very low in his voice, is extremely high in his terms, and though his gullet will only bring him to G, yet his habits of money seeking continually lead him to L. S. D. It is to correct the acidity of these devilish sharp demands, that Laporte has prudently engaged the Carter from Genoa, and there is no doubt that underjthe Italianised soubriquet of Cartagenoua, he will be found a reasonable substitute for the rapacious Tamburini. The opera went off, on the whole, very successfully, though the ballet which followed did not present any particularly Taglioni specimens of the fairer part of the crea- tion. Laporte, however, encouragingly tells us in his bills, that as Tagli- oni is so ill as not to be able to come, she may shortly be expected ; and so, we presume, till fell disease allows her once more to show her legs amongst us— we must put up with the cruel delay that detains her. The house was tolerably well filled, and we trust will go on in prosperity. At Drury Lane, we have bad a long rigmarole pantomimic and nonsensi- cal spectacle, under the alarming title of' Chevy Chace the very name of which is sufficient to put one's patience into an hysterical fit, and to vibrate one's nerves, like the echo of the Indian gong in the Eastern horizon. Chevy Chace has the peculiar misfortune to be ail original piece, by Planche who, though a famous President over the paste- pot and cabbage leaf school of authorship is not calculated to draw from his own brain. jHe can make up tolerable half and half, when he mixes some French double stout with his own native swipes ; but nil swipes is worse than even ' toujours per- drix.' The result is, that Chevy Chace is a gorgeous failure, and a glit- tering instance of managerial stupidity, in lavishing money on a thing not calculated to bring one penny of it back again. As this piece is an ac- knowledged failure we shall say nothing more about it. In the begin- ning of the season ijve supported Bunn, and he flourished. Hein curred our displeasure by Ivis bad management and his presumption. We reluct- antly turned our battery of barbed javelins against him, and the result is— he has fallen. We scorn to trample on the vanquished, and we, therefore, leave him, with this one protest, that announcing Herold's 1 Zampa,' as a new opera, is one of those impudent and stupid, because barefaced pieces of quackery, that tends to bring any theatre to the ground when long continued. ' Zampa' has been done at Covent Garden, which theatre is about to do it, as originally performed, and it will we dare say be done effectively. Covent Garden has by the bye been doing well, though placing Mr. G. Bennett into first tragic parts is not precisely the sort of thing that ought to flourish. He is e very useful actor, but he knows as well as we do that he is not a first- rate one, though, by the bye, Jwhen Kemble is ill, they 44 FIGARO IN LONDON. have not a better in ( iff establishment. We are told Osbaldiston means to prune his company at faster. lie is in the right, and we hope he will skilluliy ladle off that scum, which, as sometimes happens with scum, has managed to float up to the top of this theatre. We hear he means to con- fine himself to opera— We think he is in the right of it. Though we were very vigorous against the opening of this theatre, yet such is our imparti- ality, that directly Osbaldistori began to show symptoms of more enlight- ened taste, we generously gave him our aid, and with what effect the araen ded aspect of his treasury accouuts will testify. The Duke of Northumberland not being thought a sufficient responsible tenant for the proprietors of the English Opera House, they have gone into the other extreme, and let it to the company, The profession with that kind and brotherly feeling that exists among all its members, is won- dering how the thealre can be let to a parcel of adventurers, and all declare they will not go, where they shall be done out of their salaiics. This shows the opinion these gentry entertain of one another. How is it possible for a friend, as we are to all actors, to stick up for the respecta- bility of the profession, when actors are such traitors to one another, show- ing the sleekness and smoothness of the serpent to one's face, but with the sting of venom ready to dart out, the mi. ment one's face is turned. It is useless to hope to elevate the theatrical profession, when we find it com- posed of such mean and essentially corrupt particles. If the performers are to take the English Opera House, why should their brother per- formers be the first to crush the speculation with ridicule and distrust? But the truth is, they are jealous of each other getting any power, for they know, by judging of themselves, how meanly such power is sure to be exercised. At Vestris's a very stupid " piece has been brought out, called ' Forty and Fifty.' We do not know whose pen it is ( from; but the sooner the man who did it, gives up all pretension to the vocation of author, the bet- ter will it be for himself and those belonging to hiin. Liston and Mrs. Orger acted in it with their usual, that is to say, with unusual talent; but they did not succeed in making it laughable. It was very coarse, very lame, and very silly. We, however, had a great treat in the acting of Charles Mathews, in a piece called ' One Hour.' This said One Hour, dragged, as far as its merits are concerned, as heavily as two ; but Vestris, and particularly Mathews, helped to make it pass as lightly as possible. Young Mathews is evidently a young man of education and talent, in fact, it is delightful to see upon the stage a person who has the requisites of good breeding and gentlemanly deportment for a profession, in which these qualifications are scarcely ever met with. We defy the stage to pro- duce more than three at the most of these verities.— J. Vining is 110 more a gentleman upon the stage, than he would be behind a counter. In fact, his inanuer is the very thing for the ' speedy sale of a bankrupt's stock, where setting off, is an immediate object. He would carry off a large stock of muslins much better than he could a farce, though s" me he acts in are flimsy enough to all intents and purposes. The engagement of young Mathews shows us that she knows the advantage of having a person in her theatre who is capable of embodying the character of a gentleman, and her long putting up with Mr. James Vining, as her light comedian, merely proves that she suffered the imitation till she could meet the real one. We however trust she will not dismiss him from her corps, for he is a very useful man, in regimentals, aud though he cannot play gentlemen, he is not a bad representative of military officers. Resides, Liston savs, his figure is good, and Liston'sauthority in tlfe matte? ought to be paramount. TOiCOREESPONDENTS. It is not, we understand, the intention of Mr. Buckstone to print the ' Last Days of Pompeii,' or ' Rienzi,' in his neat edition of P9pular Dramas as he states that they are mere adaptations from the two admirable works of Mr. Bulwer, prepared principally for sti'ge effec'. ADVERTISEMENTS. 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