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Figaro In London

13/10/1832

Printer / Publisher: W. Molineux 
Volume Number:     Issue Number: 45
No Pages: 4
 
 
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Figaro In London

Date of Article: 13/10/1832
Printer / Publisher: W. Molineux 
Address: 13 Rolls Buildings, Fetter Lane
Volume Number:     Issue Number: 45
No Pages: 4
Sourced from Dealer? No
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Satire should, like a polish'd razor keen, Wound with a touch that's scarcely felt or seen.— LADY MONTAGU*. " Political Pasquinades and Political Cancatures are parts ( though humble ones,) of Political history. They supply information as to the person and habits, ofun as to the motives and objects of public men, which cannot be found elsewhere."— CHOKER'S NEW WHIG GUIDB. Ho. SATURDAY, OCTOBER 13, 1832. [ Price One Penny. THE SLAT OF WAIT. The farce of the protocols which has been for 3ome time enacting between the Kings of Holland and Belgium does not even yet seem likely to come to a denouement. Leopold talks of hostilities, while the Dutchman with ineffable contempt turns upon his liecl, presenting to his rival a view of the seat of war, and lighting his pipe with the protocols. Poor Leo- pold had long been a candidate for a kingdom: he put himself up as a desirable lot to countries, whose political arrangements might have put them in need of a monarch. Having been bid for by Greece, the throne of which he declined, fearing it might prove too slippery, he is knocked down as a bargain to Bel- gium, at a price sufficient to pay for those expensive fooleries so necessary to the constitution of a monarchy. He has proved indeed a fortunate adventurer,— his first speculation was his marriage with the Princess of Charlotte, which still brings him in his 40,000/. per annum ;— then came his kingship of Bel- gium, and lastly his marriage with the King of France's daughter, an affair which has caused no mean augmentation of his income. The people of Belgium truly have gained a prize in Leopold : they are like the frogs in the fable who prayed for a king to Jupiter, who in his wisdom sent down a senseless log as a fit emblem of sovereignty.— The Belgians prayed for a monarch, and they have been favoured with Leopold who came dashing in among them like a huge lump of wood, causing a momentary stir on his first arrival, and now lying inactive among them with the most wooden indolence and log- like imbecility. A vast deal of benefit have the poor fools derived from their sovereign, who sees their commerce destroyed and continues in a state of torpor, having only spluttered about on his first appear- ance, but being fearful to take a firm and decisive step for his subjects' benefit. He allows them to be insulted by their Dutch neighbours, and would rather repose tranquilly in the lumbering dignity of sovereignty than take a step to improve the condition or protect the rights of the nation he has been set to rule over. The Belgians wanted a king, and they have got a log; they will soon want something else with the name of a monarch to drain their resources and be the object of their grovelling servility. In their case it would be just that the fable should be pursued, and that a stork should be sent among them to swallow them up, by way of some satisfaction to the ravenous hunger of a royal appetite. Our caricature needs hardly any explanation. Leopold is seen at length slinking in the back ground endeavouring to cut off something for his own people which the Dutch would wish to monopolize, while the King of Holland in an attitude of I scorn is amusing himself at the expense of the London Con- ference. 108 FIGARO IN LONDON. THE INTERPRETER. Police Arrogance. Two boys were brought up on the following charge:— A policeman stated that about eleven o'clock on Tuesday night be was on duty in Drury Lane, when he heard a cry of " Stop thief." Himself and three other policemen went to the spot from whence the alarm proceeded, and there found the two prisoners, who were laughing, and they took them into custody for unnecessarily calling them off their beat. The prisoners made a curious defence. One of them sold roast pota- toes and the other beef about the streets. The latter merely called out " Hot beef," when the policemen came running up to them, at which they could not help laughing. The policeman would not swear that the boy did not cry " Hot beef," and that he might not have mistaken it for a cry of " Stop thief," and the prisoners were, consequently, discharged.— Morning Paper. The above is a case of gross arrogance and injustice on the part of the police, which calls for some comment. The Blue Devils are getting on verily better than ever, and have now come to such a pass that they will not even be called off their teat, without lugging off somebody to the station- house. If, in their stupidity, they happen to mistake a common street cry for an exclamation of stop thief, it is no consequence to them if there is 110 thief in the case ; they have been called off their teat, and some one must be consigned to a prison, in order that they may not feel they have come out of tlieir regular course for nothing. Whether the cry is hot beef or stop thief, its all one to the police, but they will not walk for nothing from one street into another. If there is no real offender in the case, the first person that falls in the way of the Blue Devils is hurried off as a fit subject for the station- house. If the fellows have the power of taking away the liberty of an innocent person on so slight a plea as having called a policeman unnecessarily off his beat, there can be no limits to the tyranny such authority may be productive of. It certainly is awkward for the police- men to be called off their particular beat which is generally so w( J, l provided with companions of a certain caste, and con- venient public houses where an hour or two may be spent in comfort after the hour regulated by law for the closing of such establishments. To take a policeman off his beat from such refined and moral enjoyments as these is no doubt a horrible offence, and warrants the incarceration of a couple of poor children. Ambition of penny- a- liners. MORAI, AND PHYSICAL CONDITION COINCIDENT.— Sir Walter Scott died, on the 21st instant, at Abbotsford, without pain— a circumstance which might have been expected from tho intrinsic excellence of his moral character.— Belfast News Letter. The ambition of the penny- a- liners in the matter of fine writing, has long been a subject of ridicule, but God help the public, now that the concocters of paragraphs have taken it into their sapient heads, not only to adorn facts with style in composition, but to strengthen them with argument. In the above quotation there is a fact stated that is well enough per se, but the paragraph is rendered ridiculous by the inference of the poor penny- a- liner, who hoped to augment the two- pence given as the value of his fact, by three hap'orth of inference drawn from his two penn'orth of premises. Unfortunately however, the writer has failed most woefully in his attempt to go beyond his own sphere, and has only written himself down an ass, while his object was to prove his possession of powers beyond those of a mere narrator of passing occurrences. That Sir Walter died without pain he attributes to the excellence of the great man's moral character, as if to go out of the world uneasily were the sure consequence of immorality. Does it follow that a man who dies under a painful surgical operation must have been a scoundrel in his life 1 and is every man necessarily a saint who is carried off without the pain of bodily suffering ? If a good man is murdered, does the manner of his death destroy his moral character ? Alas, poor penny- a- liner ! you do very well in matters of fact, but logic or reason is a flight quite beyond your ability. The circumstance reminds us of an absurdity committed by an underling of the Haymarket theatre, whose place was to play footmen, & c., but who conceived he had a soul beyond the mere delivery of messages. He waited some time for an opportunity to show liis unpatronized powers, and resolved that he would one evening surprise both actors and audience by the introduction of a noble sentiment. On one occasion, having to deliver a message on the stage, he determined to take that opportunity of establishing his title to a more dignified rank in the company. Accordingly he thus delivered himself—" Sir, the carriage waits." Here he should have paused, but bracing up his nerves for the grand effort, and assuming an attitude of unutterable dignity, he con tinued, " And allow me to add, Sir, that THE MAN, who would refuse his aid to a virtuous woman in distress, is unworthy the name of an Englishman." The actors stared, the audi- ence laughed, and the actor walked off in disgust, nettled at the denounment of his rash attempt to exalt himself from the humble rank in his profession he had boen doomed to occupy. Of such a nature is the speculative flight of the penny- a- liner to the Belfast News Letter. He may deliver his messages and pocket his pence, but let him soar above his sphere and he will excite only ridicule. He is in the situation of a very little man who struts about on the tip of his toes in the vain hope of raising himself to an equal height with those who in stature are above him. While he keeps to his own level he is safe from contempt, but let him strive without ability to get above it, and he becomes alike the scorn of his equals and his superiors. GLOUCESTERIANA.- No. 26. The Duke was the other day walking with Higgins about Windsor, and prying into the improvements being carried on in the neighbourhood. The silly slip of a royal stock, walked with his great staring eyes into a field where a quantity of lime was laid, and as the day was windy much of it was blown into his eyes to his considerable annoyance. Higgins suggested to the Duke to shut his eyes, when he came to a lime heap. " You sorry ass," vociferated the Duke, " is it not one of the first rules of life to do every thing with our eyes openV' Higgins gasped. BROUGHAMIANA, NO. 9. A certain nobleman was the other day talking about his son's extravagance to the Chancellor. " I wish," said the peer, " he would learn of my friend Lord Eldon how to make a little money go a great way." " If it is your wish," replied Brougham, " your son should manage thus, he is complying with your desires, for he cannot well make his means go farther when he is sending his fortune to the devil as fast as possible." ENGLISH MELODIES, NO. 24. Dibdin's celebrated song of the High Mettled Racer is immortalized as a pathetic picture of the career of that noble animal. It however appears to us to present an analogy to the career of another kind of animal by no means so illustrious and we therefore have taken the liberty of pepetrating a parody upon the admirable original. A race horse and a young poli- tician are certainly not always equally respectable though both beasts are similarly ardent in the attempt to reach their respec tive goals, one of which is a wining post and the other a sine- cure. The High- mettled, Racer unfortunately is destined at last for the hounds, while fortunately to go to the dogs is in very many cases the ultimate destination of tlie young politi- cian. FIGARO IN LONDON. 179 Am— The high- mettled Racer. See, the house throng'd with members; debate is begun The confusion—" hear, hear," cries of " spoke," and " well done." A hundred strange voices resound far and near, Whigs, Tories, and Radicals greet the tir'd ear. While with neck well cravatted, arranging his vest, Proud, pert and a puppy with hand on his breast, Slightly turning his hair, with a dandyish grace, The young politician first starts for a place. Now the premier's turn'd out, to succeed him they rush, Whigs and Tories both making a desperate push. They plot and intrigue, and by craft every day, Expect into office to find a quick way; While alike born for liberal or aristocrat, Always sure to come over, a regular rat. When the premier's blown out by a party's foul breath, Tho young politician is in at the death. Grown stale quite us'd up and turn'd out of the stud Of treasury protegets yet with some blood, While keen boroughmongers his pedigree trace, How he made this long speech, how he gained that good place, And what pensions he won his companions count o'er As they stand with lank purse at the treasury door, While disgracc sorely galls ; with his remnant of nouse, The young politician's a hack in the house. Till at last in St. Stephen's both early and late, To divide for his party lie bends to his fate, Despis'd, poor and feeble he votes for each bill, Brought in by the minister's paramount will, And now blank and silent an object of scorn, On the very same bench he was used to adorn, While his memory the treasury whipper in jogs, The young politician is gone to the dogs. BREVITIES. " Brevity 13 the soul of wit."— Shahpeare. The Demon Sake. The new piece at the Strand called the Loves of the Devils, has 110 reference whatever to the amorous propensities of his Royal Highness of Cumberland. The amusing piece in ques- tion is not of so Grave a character. An Explanation ( Of Peel's mental composure.) That Peel 011 his conscience has nought he can feel, His friends have been oft heard to say: ' Tis true ; from a conscience made callous as steel, All feeling has long passed away. The Beasts of Xew. There are two nondescript beasts in the neighbourhood of Kew who have lately made an attempt to mystify others respect- ing their identity. They may, however, easily he distinguished; one may be known by his moustaches, while the other beast is equally remarkable for his horns. Advertisement Extraordinary. Wanted a penny trumpeter, to be The means of puffing into notoriety, All the vile trumpery we daily see, Issue from knowledge Brougham's own society. A holy mystery. It is said that the Bishop of Exeter is respected by all those who know him. This is most probable for the reverend pre- late has always been an enigma to every body. Epigram, ( The King will shortly visit Brighton.— Court Circular.) Each loyal subject has in secret pray'd, To heaven our silly monarch to enlighten, Our prayers are granted now, for it is said, His Majesty is shortly going to Brighten. A Fatal Omen. Don Miguel's fete day was kept on the 28th of September. When is the day of his fate to be celebrated. , Resignation. The King of Spain has several times lately been given up by his physicians. He ought long ago to have been given up by his people. Epigram. ( On Lyndhurst's propensity to talk common place nonsense.) That Lyndhurst oft' a twice told tale repeats, Surely no monstrous miracle embraces, For not alone he's us'd to trade in seats, But he is prone to deal in common places. The Knowledge Cang. The Ministers have got a Penny Magazine, and intend it is said publishing a Penny Cyclopaedia. We should be glad to see them with a little pe « e- tration. Royal Reform. " Improvements," says the Court Newsman, " are still going on at the Castle at Windsor." So much the better, say we, and we hope their Majesties will soon feel their benefit. Bad Advice. " jldvices," say the newspapers, " have been received from the Russian Government." It is impossible to take advice from a worse quarter. THEATRICALS. A Mr. Butler made his first appearance at Covent Garden 011 Monday last, in the arduous part of Hamlet. His person is commanding, his vojee and delivery good, his action not un- graceful, and he seems to have formed a just conception of the character. He was very well received, and indeed the only drawbacks of the evening were Bartley and F. Mathews, the one as a grave- digger and the other as Polonius. The humour of the acting of these two individuals we never could find out: it may be of a racy description, indeed so racy that it runs clean out of sight, and is at least to us always invisible. Mr. F. Mathews in particular, is an annoyance to us, because we have heard him puffed up as a promising young man for the last twelve years. We might begin to think him promising if he would cease to perform, but till then we must continue to look upon him as a lump of dulness and assumption, mingled to a degree painful to contemplate. We must protest against the contempt for royalty evinced in the slovenly manner of dressing Kings at theatres in general. Egerton the ever green of the stage as the Majesty of Denmark was attired in a bit of paltry spangled finery that would have disgraced the back even of a May- day monarch. By the way, the venerable poppy seems to have entered upon a fresh lease of lethargy with the new lessee, for he ( Egerton) was himself almost asleep and tbe audience quite, all the while he was speaking. By what authority does Hamlet read the first volume of the Keepsake in the third act of the tragedy ? Being in the stage box, we perceived that the Danish prince was poring over that volume of aristocratic trash, and on the page we distinctly saw the title of the article Apro- pos of Bread by Lord Nugent. This at least accounts for the extra violence with which he casts the book from him, for if the actor's mind be in his character, the disgust he must feel at the trash from the titled fools who contribute to the Keep 108 FIGARO IN LONDON. sake will be sufficient to make him throw away the book with the full contempt it merits. A new domestic drama by Mr. Jerrold, the talented author of the Rent Day, was produced under the title of the Factory Girl, on Saturday last, at Drury Lane theatre. Writers like Mr. Jerrold deserve our gratitude as well as our admiration, for their aim is not merely to amuse, but to plead, through the medium of the stage, the cause of the poor and oppressed classes of society. Such is the author's object in the Factory Girl, in which he has drawn with lamentable truth the picture of a weaver's lot, which is to be the slave of the inhuman system of overworking in English Factories and too often a victim to the petty tyranny of those who are placed in authority over him. We are not fond of detailing plots, and we therefore give none in the present instance: the story has interest and incident which would with the general good writing through the piece, and the quaint satirical humour of Harley's part, have carried off the Factory Girl triumphantly had it not been in some degree marred by the denouement, in which letters are pulled out of bosoms, a labourer finds a brother in a rich merchant and an extensive relationship is discovered among the principal characters. This comfortable arrangement for a liappy ending naturally excited a smile which gave to the ill- natured a plea for sending forth their venomous breath in loud blackguard shouts of Off, when Harley announced the piece for repetition; this uncalled for opposition is always caught up eagerly by the gang of disappointed would- be writers for the stage who rush in byshoals at half price for a damn into the two or one shilling gal- lery. The poor half starved dirty devils mustered rather strong on Saturday night, and the hoot of the hungry and splenetic wretchas was for a few moments audible. Some lovers of jus tice among the gods seeing the object of the envious opponents of the piece, thought right partially to clear the gallery for a division, and the gang of would- be Shakspeares or Slieridans was speedily deposited extra the theatre. Of the acting we have little to say. Mr. Serle's was judicious, but his voice is ill suited to the large arena of Drury Lane Theatre. All the performers successfully exerted themselves and Miss Ferguson acted very naturally the trifling character that was entrusted to her. We must suggest to Mr. Polliill that he should, at least as far as they are concerned who are expected to laugh in a piece, pay up all arrears of salary to the supernumeraries. A sound of merriment was supposed to proceed from an alehouse, but never was there a more melancholy abortion than the laughter of those illused beings generally denominated en masse the whole strength of the company. Their attempted mirth was but a mad paroxysm, and we seemed to hear 12,9. a week irregular in every hollow vibration of their unfed mouths and empty stomachs. For humanity's sake Mr. Polhill add some- thing to their miserable stipends, you cannot expect a hearty laugh for 2s. per night from a man with a wife and family. Masaniello attracts and amuses still in spite of the facetious Tom Cooke ( as he is somewhat oddly styled) who plays the part of Alphonso. His peccadillo with Fenella seems positively incompatible with his appearance and his bearing, for he walks about the stage a moving lump of frigid awkwardness. But his repentance is much more unbearable than his gaiety while to add to the rest he is made to dress in a spangled piece of flannel or as it seemed to us an illuminated blanket. We have seen the Loves of the Devils at the Strand theatre, a piece from the . pen of Mr. Rede the clever author of the Loves of the Angels. It contains some very excellent hits at the follies and vices of the present day, and some political allusions of no slight pungency. The charming singing of Mrs. Waylett and the judicious way in which the author himself plays the Devil, will ensure a long run to the piece in question. The poor old Tatler has attempted to answer our refutation of its maudlin calumnies ; but as it is at the point of death, it is natural that it should talk nonsense compatible with its propinquity to dissolution. " De mortuis nil nisi lonum," is a motto we respect, and de morituris we have a like charitable disposition. While the Tatler was in the hands of Leigh Hunt, his criticisms were a relief to its dull twaddle, but since he has withdrawn from it, it lias been chiefly a mere receptacle for the poetry of youthful aspirants, whose Parnassus has been Primrose Hill, whose Helicon has been the Paddington Canal, and whose excursions on Pegasus have been occasional rides on donkeys in the rural neighbourhood of Camden Town or High- gate. We are sorry that we should be obliged to give such a summary of a departed periodical over which the genius of Mr. Leigh Hunt once presided. We take leave of the Tatler, with regret for its fallen reputation, and pity for its contemptible spleen towards a more successful contemporary. TO CORRESPONDENTS. We have seen the October number of King's Caricature. It is as full of humour as its predecessors.— Notwithstanding the state of political tranquility in which we have lately been reposing, the caricaturists of the day seem to possess never- failing resource!. There is nothing ungentlemanly in the letter ofX. C. M., and wc have therefore nothing offensive to say to him. He must, however, allow us to assure him that he is mistaken on the point to which his letter refers. Susannah's regard for Mr. Owen is tender and feminine, but we spare nobody who exposes himself to ridicule by his own absurdity. TO THE RELIGIOUS PUBLIC. This day is published, No. I. of THE EVANGELICAL FENNY MAGAZINE, AND astfcle snu& Etrator* MOTIVE AND OBJECTS OF THIS WORK. Firit— To diffuse religious knowledge by the diaries, journals, and biographies of those who are justly distin- guished for their Christian principles. Secondly— To illustrate passages of Scripture, and to explain their connexion with the usages of the times in which they were written, and their figurative allusion to such usages. And Thirdly— To become a vehicle for the intercourse and communication of the religious world of the present day, and to strive in union for any common object. The first Number will be embellished with a Portrait of the Rev « - John " Wesley, and every succeeding Number will contain a Portrait of some eminent Evangelical Divine. This Work will be published by Mr. Howden, at " The Evang- elical Penny Magazine" Office, 194, Strand, and ill be supplied by all the Agents of the Penny Magazines, on the same terms. All letters and orders to be resaed ( post- paid) to the Publisher, 194, Strand. NEXT SATURDAY, will be published, No. 1 of T. DIBDIN'S PENNY TRUMPET, A new and original miscellaneous Weekly Periodical, by T. DIBDIN, Author of the Cabinet and some hundreds of other popular theatrical pieces. Published every Saturday, at the Periodical Office, No. 194, Strand, where communications must be directed. THE NEW PATENT BEAVER HATS. THESE HATS, being manufactured of the most choice materials are more durable, light, and lasting in their colour, than any hitherto invented ; they are made waterproof by a process of stiffening with elastic gums, before they are dyed, and will be found the most elegant Beaver Hats that have ever been offered to the Public. They are sanctioned by the Kiag'a Royal Letters Patent, granted to ROBERT FRANKS and Co. Manufacturers and Patentees, aud Sold at 21*. and 24s at 140, REGENT STREET, ? TNIURI„„ 6- 2, RED CROSS STREET, $ LOND0 « . 6, 8T. ANDREW STREET, EDINBURGH. 97, BFJE RICHELIEU, PARIS. Printed by W. Molineux, 13. Rolls Buildings, Fetter Lane. PUBLISHED J3Y W. STRANGE 21, PATERNOSTER ROW,
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