FIGARO LONDON. Satire should, like a polish'd razor keen, Wound with a touch that's scarcely felt or seen.— LADY MONTAGUE. " Political Pasquinades and Political Caricatures are parts ( though humble ones) of Political history. They supply information as to the personal habits, and often as to tbe motives and objects of public men, which cannot be found elsewhere."— CHOKER'S NEW WHIG GUIDE. No. 8.] SHEARING OF TBE POLITICAL BLACK SHEEP. With those sources of exclusive intelligence so peculiar to Figaro in London, we are enabled to lay before our readers the particulars of a grand sheep shearing, for which arrangements are now in progress, and it is intended that they shall speedily be carried into execution. We shall state the whole proceedings as if they had actually transpired, and we feel convinced that the result will prove the accuracy of our information. It appears that among the race of English sheep, a peculiar breed of black ones has long infested the land, devouring the produce of the soil, and by their tremendous rapacity preventing the remainder of the flock from obtaining even a scanty share of what had been assigned as the common pasture. This system of injustice and monopoly had for a long time been permitted, and even encouraged, during a long period, by a sot of idle shepherds, who had been injudiciously entrusted with the care of the animals ; but having lately been happily replaced by pastors with more regard to the common interests of the flock, it was determined that the black sheep should not only be prevented from indulging any further in their ravenous propensities, but that they should also be submitted immediately to the operation of shearing. Accordingly, the ingenuity of the shepherds was put in requisition to prepare an instrument capable of effecting the grand purpose, and Russell, one of the pastors, brought forward a machine which was declared to be in every respect fit for the object in contemplation. The black sheep, however, had no wish to resign the fleece they had for many years so comfortably enjoyed, and there was no getting them to submit quietly to the operation. Russell, when he found that [ Price One Penny. they resisted, laid about him lustily with a bill hook, but he failed for some time in producing any impression on the pampered beasts, whose abundance of wool had long rendered them wholly destitute of feeling. At length it was found necessary to call in a few extra hands, to complete the task which the shepherds had taken upon themselves, and the process of shearing was immediately entered on without difficulty and completed with rapidity. It is usual, in ordinary cases, to wash the animals previous to the operation ; but the extreme blackness of the sheep now about to be sheared rendered this part of the ceremony a ridiculous superfluity. The first that underwent the process was a large Cumberland beast, whose fleece was of an enormous magnitude ; he kicked about for several minutes, and was very prodigal of his bleatings, but the shearer was determined, and soon silenced the noise of the unfortunate animal. One of the SATURDAY, JANUARY 28, 1832. 30/ FIGARO IN LONDON. famous Bishop breed was next brought in: he was particularly black, and presented the largest specimen of a fat sheep that had ever been exhibited : he had long been remarkable for the luxuriousness of his living. It was calculated that he carried the produce of several fields on his stomach alone, the growth of a meadow on his back, and even his very shoulders had a lawn upon each of them. He turned out to have been a cunning as well as a black sheep; and it seems that, under pretence of taking the pastoral care of the rest of the flock, he had merely been taking from them the produce of their pastures. This breed had been peculiarly injurious to the country, not only living grossly upon the fat of the land, but amassing an immense portion of its growth into ric/ cs called bishopricks, a number of large unsightly piles, ef 110 other use than to pamper the few black sheep who happened to be in possession of them for the time being. A dirty little Wether all ragged in the coat, was then submitted to the shears ; he kicked about a great deal, and cried baa very vociferously, but his mouth was soon stopped, and he was turned out of hand so clean that nobody could have known him. The next that came to be sheared was distinguished as one of the Eldon race, and though not very large in body, the fleece on him was of the most extraordinary size that was ever known to have been seen on the same animal. It seemed that for a long term of years he had been collecting wool to so great an amount, that at last he could actually carry no more, and was obliged though very unwillingly to relinquish a single wool- sack. Others were brought and sheared with equal effect,' but they are too numerous for us to mention. The day of shearing was celebrated as a public holiday by the whole of the white flock, who will now be enabled to enjoy without molestation, their right of pasture iu the Commons. JOHN BVX. il AITS HIS BUB. DENS. The above caricature represents the present state of Poor John Bull, who must really excuse us for comparing him to an ass overburdened with the weight of aristocracy, which he has for a long time patiently consented to carry. While the tory peers would render him stupid by assailing his head, bishops, placemen, and pensioners, combine to overload his back, while Hunt and his adherents worry the poor animal at the tail. Wc are happy to find that he has lately evinced a disposition to show his mettle, and the spirited plunge which he is 011 the eve of giving, will doubtless have the effect of relieving him from the weight of his riders. Talking of asses and thinking of Reform, naturally brings to mind the story of the old man driving his donkey to market, who, by attempting to follow the advice of everybody succeeded in pleasing nobody. The situation of Ministers and the Reform Bill, affords a parallel to the case above alluded to, for every idle brawler with a tongue in his mouth, conceives himself qualified to suggest some kind of improvement. One cries out to Earl Grey, " A precious reformer you are, not to give us annual parliaments, and vote by ballot," another says, " you're a pretty fellow for a minister, destroying the chartered rights of Englishmen, by doing away with nomination boroughs," and a third exclaims, " It's true we wanted some reform, but your Lordship is going to give us revolution." If Earl Grey does not profit by the lesson taught him in the fable we have quoted, but should foolishly try to make his Reform Bill please the taste of every one, he will, like the old man and his ass, be very likely to lose it altogether. THE IKTEEPRETER. Londonderry's Buffoonery. Of Lord Seaham who is not yet 14 years of age, we cannot speak in terms sufficiently intelligible to convey to our readers an idea of the gratification we derived from his performance ; to say we were delighted and astonished is to say too little, and we shall therefore content ourselves by simply expressing a hope that the splendid talents of the heir of Wynyard, developed thus early, may hereafter be employed in the service and to the advantage of his country.— Durham Advertiser. The above, which singularly enough is copied into the Morning Herald, close under a paragraph headed Destitute Poles, is an extract from a long account of some private theatricals at Wynyard- house, in commemoration of the birthday of the Marchioness of Londonderry. It appears, that the piece represented was the Wreck Ashore, in which the Marquis selected for himself the character of Marmaduke Magog, a drunken parish beadle, a part in which the Durham Advertiser tells us, he displayed a rich vein of comic humour.— If his grace would stick to the stage— if he would consent to be a buffoon only in the theatre, for which we never doubted his qualifications, and never make the House of Lords the arena for his exhibitions, we should have much pleasure in extolling him in the dramatic department of our work ; and might be induced never again to make him the subject of a brevity. But our present business is with Lord Seaham, who so astonished the Durham critic, by the exact representation he gave of an idiotic country boy, called Jemmy Starling, that the provincial scribe is impatient to see the splendid talents of the heir of Wynyard employed in the service and to the advantage of his country. Was ever man reduced by a servile desire to flatter, to so degraded a level of disgusting stupidity as the hireling of the Durham Advertiser.— Because Lord Seaham represents simplicity to the life— because at the age of 14, he seems perfectly at home in the part of a fool, we are to be told that his splendid talents (!!)— would be employed advantageously in the service of his country!!! How fortunate that all men do not measure legislative capa 267/ FIGARO IN LONDON. city by the standard of histrionic tact, and resolve on filling the House of Commons with a set of buffoons, such as Mr. Keeley and Lord Seaham. If such were the case, what an inimitable Lord Chancellor should we find in Mr. Liston !— What a jovial Chief Justice in Mr. J. Reeve, and a highly efficient premier in Mr. Harley ! Alas, in our eyes the utmost merit the heir of Wynyard has acquired by his admirable performance of Jemmy Starling is such, as would entitle him to an engagement of thirty shillings per week, as second low comedian at the Adelphi. Should the Reform Bill really have the effect on property that Lord Londonderry imagines, that worthy peer may be enabled to come to terms with Madame Vestris, or he might lead the comic business at the new Strand Theatre, where he would draw as a substitute for J. Reeve or Liston. Kangaroos and. Courtiers. It appears from the narrative of a recent traveller, that the chief amusement of their Majesties the King and Queen of Spain, is to visit the menagerie at the lletiro, where, seated every evening on a bench in the centre of a paved court, the camels, elephants, and other tame brutes, are brought by their keepers to do homage to the royal visitors. The late King of Wirtemberg entertained an enormous menagerie in the Anlage at Stuttgard, which was a source of so much discontent among his starving and over- taxed subjects, that his present Majesty on his accession dispersed the collection, ate the kangaroos, which are as good as doe venison, and ordered the beasts of prey to be shot.— Court Journal. How truly royal is the pastime of the King and Queen of Spain, who take delight in receiving hompge from a number of beasts trained up for the purpose! In other courts nearer home the respect paid to princes is about as servile and sincere as the deference shown by the beasts to Spanish royalty. The animals which throng round a throne in one country, as well as in another, are very neatly all of the same caste, and, whether in the shape of a man or a beast, so as his nature is but servile, either is well adapted to the office of a courtier. By the bye, the late King of Wirtemberg, who by keeping up an enormous menagerie at Stuttgard excited the discontent of his starving and over- taxed subjects, reminds us of George the Fourth and the crew of " things with human pretensions" whom he permitted to gorge themselves on that wealth, which of right belonged to those whose industry had created it. The successor of George the Fourth, like tire successor of the King of Wirtemberg, has, however, shown a disposition to dispense with the filthy collection ; and though the former cannot despatch a nobleman as the latter could ( thanks to the strength of the royal stomach) devour a kangaroo; yet, though he is unable to eat them himself, William the Fourth will prevent them from continuing to feed upon others. BREVITIES. 11 Brevity is the soul of wit."— Shakspeare. Advertisement Extraordinary. For sale, some several hundred weight of l e a d— , Apply immediately at Scarlett's head. Something Sharp. When we heard Croker say a thing of some acidity the other night in the House of Commons, the hon. member reminded us of a calf's head with a lemon in the mouth. To be Preferred. The chapel of St. Stephen's will, we are happy to find, from the rapid progress of the reform bill, be very soon rid of its present incumbents. How to deal with the Bishops. The Bishops have been for a long time suffered to play a game with the country. Beggar my Neighbour has been their favourite, at which they have succeeded by a happy knack of playing the knave. Surely, it is high time that their holinesses should be discarded. A Subject for Compassion. We are told that the Duke of Cumberland must have a great deal upon his mind. If such is the case, it is another proof, that a great deal may lie in a very little compass. Argumentum ad Hominem. The Duke of Gloucester lately being in earnest conversation with Lord Brougham on the subject of reform, grew so warm in the argument, that he observed hastily, the Chancellor was very near a fool. Brougham replied, that he could not think of contradicting the duke, and declared that he fully saw the force of his royal highness's position. Addicted to Revolution. Sir Robert Peel's mutability ought never to have been regarded with surprise, for one whose family has been enriched by spinning, would naturally hope to benefit himself by turning round. The old top- ic. Lord Lyndhurst we understand is to be the head of the opposition, but we have not yet heard who is to supply the brains. The dishonourer of the Bill. Lord Lyndhurst refuses to support the reform b i l l , on the ground, that it will produce too much alteration. He finds it he says, quite impossible to think of taking up any Bill of Exchange. Out in his Reckoning-. Mr. Croker was recommended the other night in the House of Commons to devote himself to the study of arithmetic.— His opposition to the people's wishes, shows that lie has no regard to numbers. A Tax on the Press. A duty is generally imposed by law- makers on such articles as they have the least to do with. This accounts for the support given by Sir James Scarlett, to all taxes on knowledge. The Belli- gerents in Parliament. In the fable the members are represented to work for the benefit of the belly, but in the present state of the House of Commons, the belly is impoverished to make good for the members. The Pre- cursor. The delay of ministers in making new peers, till the country may be thrown into the utmost confusion, seems as if they considered chaos a necessary preliminary to creation. Diffusion of Knowledge. An Owenite observing that in modern society there was a wide field for the removal of ignorance in woman's society, added, " and in JMan's field also." Out of Place. A mad- man started up on Monday night in the gallery of the House of Commons, and was tinned out. How many would be ejected every evening, if the same rule were made to apply to the members. Well- timed. It is said, in the Standard, that bets have been offered that Earl Grey will not be First Lord of the Treasury, on the lst April next. That being All Fool's Day will be the most appropriate on which an anti- reforming minister could accept office. Epigram. ( On Cumberland's Veracity.) He boasts about the truth, I've heard, And vows he'd never break it, Why zounds a man must keep his word When nobody will take it. 32 FIGARO IN LONDON. THEATRICALS. We detest every thing in the shape of piracy tending to mislead tho public, and we therefore protest against the production of the new piece at the Adelphi purporting to be a version of Meyerbeer's opera of Robert le Diable, which has excited a considerable sensation in Paris. It has been already advertised for performance at Drury Lane, and we regard tho bringing it forward at the Adelphi as a paltry attempt to palm off upon the public a bad version of the original piece, trusting for its success merely to the name, which has already acquired a great share of popularity. This disgusting and dishonest trickery ought not to be encouraged, and people ought to be on their guard against all similar attempts at imposition. The story of Robert the Devil, which abounds with melodramatic nonsense, is preserved in the affair at the Adelphi; but the music of Meyerbeer, which might have redeemed the trash of the dialogue, is nearly altogether omitted. What little there is retained might have heen left out with advantage; for the company is not able to give effect even to a straight- forward chorus. There is not one among the whole crew that can sing a note, with the exception of Mrs. Fitzwilliam ; and to make up for the deficiency of professed vocalists, a set of dirty supernumeraries march in, every now and then, and set up a noise, to which the orchestra endeavours to play a kind of accompaniment. These fellows are the whole musical strength of the company, and yet the management pretends to produce an opera by Meyerbeer. With regard to the piece, we have already expressed our opinion. J. Reeve is occupied in almost every scene, and says just what he pleases, with that supreme independence of his author for which he is so highly distinguished. Yates plays a demon, and on the first night was so imperfect, that the voice of the prompter was frequently audible. Things at this Theatre never appear to us to be properly attended to. The principal performers seldom know their parts, and even the scene shifters seem to be ignorant of their business. At the end of the second act, some twenty persons on the stage are supposed to sink into hell, with the customary concomitants of spirits of wine and blue file, but the effect was materially marred by the premature dropping of the curtain, which produced a most stentorian damn from Mr. Yates, and a tolerable quantity of oaths from his elegant companions. Mrs. Yates is a lady- like actress, and certainly shines out from those by whom she is surrounded. Hemmings seems a quiet inoffensive fellow, and I makes a very good walking gentleman. In genteel comedy, when equipped in the usual paraphernalia of ducks, blue surtout, Berlin gloves, and a well brushed hat, he is the very beau ideal of a stage lover, who has only to look particularly sheepish, and retail stale sentiment. The attempts to get up processions in ' Robert the Devil,' are ludicrous. The numerical muster is so insignificant, that the same persons continue to walk out on one side and in at the other for several minutes ; and as to their appearance, it is, notwithstanding the wardrobe has been ransacked for finery, truly woe- begone. We witnessed at the Surrey, on Monday, a very silly affair, called Victor Deene, intended as a burlesque on the drama of Victorine at the Adelphi. It is on the whole a most witless parody, and though the vulgarity with which it abounds, sometimes elicited a roar from the greasy occupauts of the gallery, the disapprobation was exceedingly violent. We will allow to Mr. Rogers, and Mr. Asbury, with some other great unknowns, the possession of humour to a certain extent, but they have not such a superfluity of wit of their own that they can afford to make up for the deficiency of wit in an author. With the talent there is at this house, we are surprised that the worst part of the company should be put prominently forward. Why is a walking machine, with vocal capabilities such as Mr. Almar, to be inflicted upon us in a house, which boasts of having in its dramatic corps Messrs. Cobham and Elton. Why is Mr. Dibdin Pitt, " That mortal engine whose rude throat Th' immortal Jove's dread clamours counterfeits," permitted to strain his lungs and limbs as the hero of a stupid melodrama. Good pieces, well performed, will ensure success to any theatre, no matter where it is situated, or ho v great the number of its competitors. Mr. Osbaldiston has every facility for pursuing this plan, and it is his own fault if he is not prosperous. A new Theatre in the Strand has opened, with Mrs. Waylett as the star of the concern, assisted by sundry planets of 110 mean brilliance. We have not yet been able to visit the house, indeed it will scarcely have opened before we publish, but from the manner in which things seem likely to be done, we doubt not it will speedily rise into public favour. A new drama on the subject of Wilkie's two paintings of the Rent Day, was to be produced at Drury- lane Theatre on Wednesday evening. It is from the pen of Mr. Jerrold, who we should have imagined might have found a better subject on which to employ his talents. When hackneyed engravings are taken for the ground- work of pieces at our national theatres, it is high time for some kind of reform in the drama. We wonder our famous cut of the Political Burkers has not ere this been made the subject of a melo- drama. In our last week's number we made some observations on the production of the legitimate drama at the Surrey Theatre, and the disadvantage to which a good company appeared when restricted by the present state of the law to the trash to which it tends to circumscribe the Minors. The small theatres have, we are happy to perceive, at length found a most able advocate in- the author of a pamphlet, purporting to be " a concise view of the question," and concluding with some very sensible remarks on the decline of the drama, and the means of its restoration. We fully concur with every position which the writer has advanced, and we feel assured that those interested in the success of the Minor cause cannot do better than endeavour to promote the circulation of his excellent pamphlet. TO CORRESPONDENTS. J . A. V.— Frolic— and T. are each of them thanked for their communications, all of which, from various reasons we are compelled to decline. We shall be happy to hear again from Q. Q. We shall be unable to comply with the wish of Alpha. We are obliged to J . H . , who will perceive we have availed ourselves of his communication. All the back numbers of FIGARO IN LONDON are now in print, and may be had of all Booksellers. No. III.— Contains portraits of the Political Burkers. With No. I V . , were given six Caricatures of the Principal Characters iu the Grand Political Pantomime. No. V.— Contains a cut of the Tory Party. No. V I . — I s illustrated with a Caricature of the Political Stomach Pump. No. V I I . — I s embellished with a representation of the Tory Rioters, being consigned to Justice. On Saturday, February 4th, 1832, will be published. No. I. price one penny, of A NEW WEEKLY PERIODICAL, CALLED F I G A R O ' S R E V I E W: ( By the Editor of Figaro in London• It will be devoted to Reviews, Literary Squibs, Original Articles, and Notices of the Drama. Each Number to be embellished with a Caricature by SEYM OUR. Prospectuses may be had of the publisher, W. STRANGE, 21, Paternoster Row, where all communications for the Editor are to be addressed. Prin ted by W. Molineux, 13, Bolls Buildings, Fetter Lane. PUBLISHED BY W. STRANGE, 21, PATERNOSTER ROW.