Satire should, like a polish'd razor keen, Wound with a touch that's scarcely felt or seen. LADY MONTAGUE. habits. Political Pasquinades and Political Caricatures are parts ( though humble ones,) of Political history.. They supply information as to the personal its, and often as to the motives and objects of public men, which cannot be found elsewhere." CHOKER'S NEW WHIG GUIDB. jtfo. 5.] SATURDAY, JANUARY 7, 18- 32. [ Pricc One Fenny. FIGARO LONDON. THE TORY PARTY. CELEBRATION OF 12TLI NIGHT BY THE CHARLES STREET GANG. PREPARATIONS have been making in Charles Street, for the celebration of Twelfth Night, and a grand entertainment is to be given to the gang as a treat for the Christmas holidays. We have made ourselves so well acquainted with the arrangements which have been entered into, and know so intimately the characters of all those who are to be present, that we think we can venture to lay before our readers a report of the proceedings on the occasion, as if tliey had already actually transpired. The first object to which the attention of the providers of the feast has been directed, was naturally enough the twelfth cake, which it was determined should be composed, no matter at what expense they might be attained, nf all the good things of ihe season. Like spoiled children, or filthy gluttons, the Tories had resolved to surfeit themselves with the richest that they could possibly procure, and foolishly rejected a salubrious substitute offered some time since by the famous Dr. John Russell, in the shape of a neiv and purified Parliament, which, by a process he had expected long ago to have brought into operation, he has happily discovered the means of manufacturing. ' 1 his very novel kind of Parliament was strongly pressed on the attention of the anti- reformers, in the hope that they 18/ FIGARO IN LONDON. would have become reconciled to the plain and wholesome food before the Christmas vacation; but they have already twice refused it with scorn, though it must have proved highly beneficial even to themselves, and at least have prevented the necessity of adminis- tering to the pampered idiots something like a very powerful emetic, to force them to disgorge a great many of the good things on which they have been glutting themselves at the public expense for a very considerable period. The only reason they appeared able to give for objecting to the newly- invented Parliament, was, that it would be within every body's reach ; and while no one would be able to get too much of it, each would come in for his share : but the plum- cake they evidently pre- ferred, because it contained in one concentrated mass all the best and richest ingredients, which so far from being justly or equally divided, were partly covered by a crown, the remainder being occu- pied by a few painted and gilded images. The company consisted of the Dukes of Cumberland and Wel- lington, Lords Eldon and Lyndhurst, Sir Robert Peel, Sir James Scarlet, Sir Charles Wetherell, Mr. Hunt, and other individuals equally illustrious. The early part of the evening was devoted to forfeits, riddles, and the usual amusements of the season. Snap dragon was at one time proposed, but on the nature of the game being explained to the honourable member for Preston, he suggested to the party present, " that they had better leave it alone, as there was scarcely an individual in the company who had not on more than one occasion burnt his fingers by endeavouring to give a tangibility to reasons." This unlucky bit of accidental truth brought up the sarcastic Mr. Croker, who ironically suggested the well- known Christmas diversion of Hunt the slipper, but the re- commendation was negatived on the ground that it was decidedly personal. The evening beginning to hang heavy for want of amusement, anagrams were started, and a subject for the exercise of this species of entertainment being much in request, the Duke of Wellington carelessly remarked, on being desired to name one " 0 Earl Eldon." After much hesitation, it was discovered that by changing the situ- ation of the letters " real noodle " were the only two words in the language which could possibly be made up of them. The solution of this anagram being found unpalatable, the Duke of Cumberland was asked to give, as a subject for another, one of the company, whose name might possibly admit of a more complimentary inter- pretation—" Ha, Scarlet," was His Royal Highness's hasty reply. But no greater success attended this effort at amusement, for " the rascal" was the obvious, and proved to be the only result of a transposition of the letters. The failure of this attempt to be merry induced the party speedily to commence the drawing of the Twelfth- Night characters; and the King falling to the lot of the Duke of Cumberland, his Royal Highness seized the crown from the place it occupied with something like precipitate alacrity. As no women were present the Queen was drawn by Earl Howe, who evinced a decided disposition to destroy the character ; he played with it for a little while, but we were glad to find it sustained no material in- jury. Sir Charles Wetherell drew Scaramouch, and John Bull, singularly enough, fell to the lot of Mr. Croker. After a short time the company separated. INTERPRETER. Save me from my Friends. " A meeting took place between Sir Robert Gill, and D. Finlawson, Esq. The former having received the fire of the latter without effect, and dis- charged his pistol in tbe air, an explanation took place satisfactory to the scconds, and the parties left the field."— John Bull. The folly of duelling is rendered more palpable by every instance of it that occurs, and the above affair of honour appears about as senseless a ceremony as any that ever happened to come under our notice. Sir Robert Gill stands to be shot at, and then discharges his own pistol in the air, when the seconds declare themselves satis- fied with an explanation that ensues. We always understood that men fought duels, at least to give satisfaction to one another, and not to their seconds; for really it is rather too much to run the risk of one's life, for the satisfaction of an indifferent party. It does not appear the combatants themselves were satisfied; that it seems was not the question, the only consideration seems to have been as to the satisfaction of the seconds, and as they had got all they wanted, by seeing their respective friends run the hazard of their lives, they express themselves perfectly content, and kindly prevent their principles from the compulsion of continuing to risk the crime of murder, or the possibility of being made its object. Tho Church in Danger. " A Cathedral is said to have been built at Sierra Leone in 1824, at a cost of £. 70,000, for tbe accommodation of not more than 20 or 30 per- sons, and part of it is now a heap of ruins and without a roof."— John Bull. It seems that the system of building churches for the benefit of the people's souls, and the parson's pockets, is carried on in Sierra Leone as well as in England. The supply of places of public worship never appears to be regulated by the demand, but one is knocked up wherever there is a desire to add to the church revenues. For example the cathedral at Sierra Leone, must of course have its pre- bends, its canons, and its naves ; and a congregation is of no impor- tance, provided there are other means of supporting it. Whatever may have been the sources which have been drained in this instance, it is quite certain that a sum of £ 70,000 has been actually devot- ed to building a cathedral for about 20 or 30 persons, and that the job being done, the failure is left to go to ruin. Surely Reform must be wanted in Sierra Leone. The O'Connell Tribute, " A numerous and highly respectable meeting of the inhabitants of Carrick on Suir, was held at the Reading Room, for the purpose of making the necessary arrangement and appointing a committee to collect the O'Connell tribute in the town and neighbourhood, for the year 1832, to commence on the 8th. of January; after a committee of twenty- one had beeu appointed to collect in the several parishes iu the neighbourhood, the meeting adjourned to Sunday next." Courier. When patriotism appears to be such a very profitable trade, we wonder there are not found many more adventurers to devote them- selves to its practice. Mr. O'Connell, has indeed flourished in his new calling, being able to relinquish an extensive business at the bar, for the more lucrative, though, we fear not equally respectable profession of mob oratory. The great agitator, and friend of Ireland, has already shown his attachment to his country by deigning to accept a tolerable sura from its wretchedly scanty resources, and as he pockets the O'Connell tribute, no doubt soothes the sting he might feel from reflecting on the privation endured by millions of his starving countrymen, with the consolatory idea that they must have an agitator, and if they will have one, he must of course be paid for his trouble. Ireland cannot be blamed for paying a high price for that which it conceives to be a valuable commodity, but were a balance to be struck between Mr. O'Connell and his country, we should find we tkink rather substantial reasons for the interest he has always taken in her prosperity. 19/ FIGARO IN LONDON. The Newcastle Pestilence, stThe Duke of Newcastle in declining to give his support to a Reading Society and Mechanics' Institute, just established at Worksop, and sup- ported by the neighbouring Nobility and Gentry, assigned as his reason, that all the deplorable evils under which this country now laboured, were to be attributed to such societies ; and in his letter to the secretary, his grace exhorts him to shun all such institutions, as he would a pestilence." Morning Chronicle. We perfectly coincide with his grace of Newcastle, that those societies that have lately sprung up amongst the people for enlarge- ing their views, and improving their minds, are the sole cause of what the anti- reformers are pleased to term deplorable evils. Darkness is in every way favourable to a man like the Duke of New- castle : his enormous wealth has been chiefly derived fiom the black coal pits of which he is the proprietor, and his personal influence being principally owing to the mystification and prejudice by which public intellect has until the present age, been shrouded, it is perfect- ly natural that he should wish for a continuation of that darkness by which he has in more than one way thriven. There is something facetious in his recommendation to the secretary, who of course gets a salary for his trouble, to avoid such in- stitutions as he would a pestilence. His grace must surely have by this time found out that the servants who wait upon him, can only regard their master as one opposed to the interests of that community of which they are themselves members, and that if the love of lucre did not sometimes operate against the inclination toshun a pestilence, as the duke strongly expresses it, he himself would probably be left with- out a single menial. Men however are found who from necessity will turn scavengers, or engage in any mean disgusting business; the same obligation would induce the secretary above spoken of, to lend his aid to the Mechanics' Institute, even though he may be, which is not probable, opposed to its views; and the same principle to carry it still farther, might even impel an honest man to act in the capacity of a domestic to the Duke of Newcastle. Pedro's Accomplishments- Don Pedro attends most of the fashionable parties given in Paris, and usually joins in the dance, an art in which he has attained great profici- ency, having lately taken lessons of one of the most fashionable masters io Paris. - Court Journal. When kings are taken off their thrones they mix as naturally with ordinary persons, as if they had never been designed to occupy a station above the level of the rest of their fellow creatures. Poor Don Pedro was never worth much as a king, and we will be bound never enjoyed in that station, half the happiness that he has ex- perienced since he quitted the eares of Government. Having given up the character of monarch, he has assumed the far more re- spectable one of an useful and unoffending member of society. We lately heard of his having composed a perfect opera, and we now find him taking lessons in dancing, an art in which he has already, it seems, attained a great proficiency. As long as he thus harm- lessly exercises his head and his heels, he has nothing to fear from any one. We heartily advise him to stick to his present oc- cupation, and not think of fitting out expeditions against his brother Miguel. Should he succeed, and even regain his crown, he may in a very short time, look with regret upon the days when he had nothing more to do than create musical monsters, and kick about his ex- imperial heels in the salons of Paris. Fashionable Humbug. " Their Majesties took a drive in a carriage and four, preceded by two outriders, to Stanmore Park. The Duke of Sussex drove out in a carriage and four. Sir M. S. Stewart, gave a grand dinner this evening." Court Journal. The above are extracts taken at random from a department headed " Royal and Fashionable movements of the week," in the Court Journal. We cannot comprehend what set of persons are they who can be brought to read such matter as that we have quoted; but it seems to us still more surprising that any one should be found to pay a shilling for the- privilege! what individuals can they be who attach an interest to the number of horses employed in dragging about the bodies of royalty, or the amount of the outriders ? whom except the guests, can it possibly concern that Sir M. S. Stewart, gave a dinner on such a day, or that such a party was given on such an evening by such a nobleman. We can- not sufficiently express our astonishment and contempt, that any part, even the most insignificants of the public press, should conde- scend to give an undue importance to some of the most despicable members of the aristocracy, by chronicling their actions which are generally unprofitable. We shall be reading next, indeed it is near- ly come to that already, that Lord So and So was measured on such a day for a coat at such a tailor's, but fortunately for him, here pub- lication stops, or we might chance to read stories of sending in bills, and of the same being dishonoured. Who is this Sir M. S. Stew- art— who we are told lately gave a grand dinner ? We wonder we have not been favoured with a catalogue of the dishes, and a list of those partaken of by the different guests, with an ac- count of how many were taken home drunk, and who were the first to be under the table. Common actions are the same in every class ofsociety, whether we are told that Mr. Jones and his family sat down to a piece of beef, or that Lady Blank gave a distinguished dinner party, the same picture of eating and drinking is the most that can in either case occur to the mind of the reader. BREVITIES. " Brevity is the soul of wit.'*— Shakspeare. Epigram. If Londonderry has a grain of sense, He can be only half a lord ' tis clear, For from the fact we draw the inference ; He's that which never has been made a Peer. A fresh Tap for an old Butt. We have heard Mr. Calvert the Brewer, spoken of as the Ex- Member for Southvvark, would not the double X member be his more appropriate title ? A Rum Customer. So far from there being no spirit in the speeches of Mr. Hunt, our only objection to them, is, that they contain too much, for he deals it out by the hog's head. I. Id. P's of Darkness. There is one very obvious reason for the antipathy of the Borough- mongers to a general illumination— a desire for keeping people in the dark has long been a most important part of their system. A Spokesman. Sir Robert Peel has been talking for a long time about his regard for the common wheel; we never doubted his attachment to it, and indeed as the knave he may be said to form its very centre. A bon Mot— to. We understand that since the Bristol affair— Sir Charles Wetherell has resolved to adopt for his motto, " Cedant arma logce" on which he puts the interpretation " that arms should be never taken up against a senator"— A wag however, with a view of applying it to the habits and peculiarities of the worthy knight has translated it " there's no harm in seedy toggery." The Cut Indirect. There is no truth in the malicious rumour that the directions of the Board of Health enforcing regular habits, were intended to ap- ply personally to Sir CharlesWetherell. 20/ FIGARO IN LONDON. Abait- ment. We perceive by a paragraph in the newspapers, that fish has lately been materially lowered in its price ; we presume this is in consequence of Mr. Perceval having abandoned his motion for a general fast. New Lights. We understand that the Duke of Newcastle has in preparation a legal work, wherein he takes a very novel idea of the duties and obligations of landlord and tenant. Rendering a Service. The principles of Dr. Philpots were always considered inexpli- cable, and we suppose it was their utter incomprehensibility which induced the late ministry to try the effect of a translation. Inquest Extraordinary. Died, lately in a melancholy fit, Verdict— Perusing some of Wetherell's wit! The Man of a Million. Sir Robert Peel, like his father, is celebrated for spinning a long yarn for the benefit of the Commons ; but unlike that of his worthy parent, Sir R's article generally proves worsted. A Misnomer. The princess Olive of Cumberland has lately reiterated her claims to Royalty. To an English ear— the O live sounds mat a propas prefixed to Cumberland. THEATRICALS. COVENT GARDEN and Mr. Charles Kemble have been rapidly recovering together; though while the newspapers inform us that the manager is so well as to be able to ride in his carriage, we find from the same source, that the poor actors are still kept on half salaries. If the concern is rich enough to support the head of it in luxury, it surely ought to be capable of administering to the neces- sities of the inferior members of the company. If it be in con- sideration of Miss Kemble's services, that a partiality is observed in the application of funds, we cannot help thinking that a somewhat too favourable opinion of her value has been formed by the manage- ment, and that the scale of it might be very materially revised on application at the Treasury. We went on Monday night, when the play was The Grecian Daughter, in which we found the young lady whining and attitudinizing, after her customary fashion, to an apathetic, and evidently pantomimie- expectant audience. Her cousin, Mr. Mason, who failed some years since at this theatre, ex- hibited his frightfully beef- steakish hands in the part of Philotas. We do not find fault with his abominable voice, for that is a defect of nature, we could be lenient to the awkwardness of his action, for his gawkiness is evidently insuperable, we will say nothing of his general inefficiency as an actor, for that is his misfortune ; but his hands he might easily conceal with a pair of ninepenny gloves, and we therefore take the liberty of giving him a tolerably hard rap on the knuckles. Warde as Evander, mouthed through his part, to the satisfaction of the gods ; and G. Bennett, as Dionysius, jumped about while living, and tumbled down with such disregard for bruises, when he was killed, that we only began to appreciate his talSnt, when we found the inefficiency of the gentleman who played Panta- loon in the pantomime. Hopo' my Thumb is the subject of the Christmas piece at this house, and so closely does it resemble the pantomime at Drury Lane, that the one could not have been con- cocted except by a person who had been made acquainted with the arrangement of the other; Covent Garden was, we believe, the first to take the subject, and the managers of the rival house must conse- quently have condescended to bribe some shabby rascal on the former establishment, some assistant scene- shifter, for no one of a higher rank could have been guilty of the trick, to betray the secret pro- ceedings of his employers. At Covent Garden there is some extra- vagant humour in the prelude, which, as it makes one laugh, fully answers the end of amusement. Miss Poole plays the part of the little hero with great effect; though a small, she is by no means a shallow Pool, and though in size not much more at present than a puddle, contrives, on some occasions, to create an overflow in the theatre. The attempts at satire are lamentably bad ; the scenery is not so good as at Drury Lane, but better managed. The Panorama of the Opening of London Bridge is well painted, but there seems an in- distinctness in many of the objects represented. There is one Herr Cline dances on a tight rope, who fills up the intervals that occur between each part of his performance, by talking to a man in a vel- veteen spangled waistcoat, and a pair of tinselled, white inexpres- sibles. We could not at all make him out, nor could we account for his introduction on to the stage during the performance. Who is he? There are an immense number of theatrical " great un- knowns," about whom, even when we come at their names, there is still a mystery. For example, we have perused, in nearly all the papers, a paragraph, announcing the death of the veteran MAS- SINGHAM, whose boast it was, that for forty years he had never been absent from Drury Lane Theatre. Never having heard of Massingham, we have, after much labour, succeeded in sifting him out; and THE VETERAN turns out to have been box- keeper for th? free list. We now, of course, can easily understand how poor Massingham came to be such a great man with the press, while he was never heard of by the public, the newspaper gentry never go into the theatre by any other entrance than that where the free list is stationed, and, of course, in their eyes, the person who superin- tended it in his life time, has a right to be spoken of when dead, as a departed veteran. The shabby dogs, we dare say, never gave the old man any thing for his trouble, and are now making up for their former want of generosity by useless paragraphs to his memory. The usual custom of bringing out a pantomime at Christmas, has been superseded at the Olympic, by the production of a new bur- lesque burletta, called Olympic Devils, written by the authors of Olympic Revels, Messrs. Dance and Planche. The plot is a close burlesque on the tale of Orpheus and Eurydice, the latter of which parts is given to Miss Forde, and the former is sustained by Madame Vestris. There is little humour in the piece. The music is tastefully selected, but being chiefly from the works of Rossini and Mozart, is not likely to be so much admired as that with which the audience is more familiar. The theatre is a favourite with us, because its performances terminate early, and there is an attention to . those little niceties, the disregard of which we so often have to complain of in larger houses. THE NEW YEARS GIFT. Just published, Vol. I., price 5s. boards, THE NEW CASKET. Embellished with a beautiful Frontispiece of the " SHADE of BYRON" and more than 50 other spirited Wood Cuts. No. 1 , Vol. 2, price One Penny, published on the 7th of January, and every succeeding Saturday ; each Number containing interesting Tales, Romances, Selections from Popular Works, Facetiae, Original Poetry, and every other topic of Attraction and Amusement. Published by W. Strange, 21, Paternoster- row. NEW WORK FOR THE NEW YEAR, This day is published, No. 2, BY B. STEILL, Paternoster Row, and Sold by all Booksellers; A New LIBERAL, MORAL, and INDEPENDENT WEEKLY REVIEW of BOOKS, the STAGE, and the FINE ARTS, entitled, THE LITERARY TEST; Consisting of SIXTEEN closely printed QUARTO PAGES ' NO AD VERTISEMENTS being admitted!!— PRICE only TWO- PENCE1" No. 3 will contain THREE Engravings! Notices to Correspondents. We feel much obliged to " A Lover of Wit " for his friendlv letter which we allow to be deserving of attention. We will not in future permit so much space to be occupied by the pebbles. Tbe contribution of Alpha is under consideration. No. 1, of the Figaro in London is nearly out of print, but we believe a few copies may be had at Mr. Strange, the publisher's. No. 2, to meet the immense demand for the completion of sets, has this week been reprinted. No. 3 contains tbe PORTRAITS or THE POLITICAL BURKERS, with the interesting confessions of a Bishop and the head of the Tories. No. 4 contains Six EXTRA CARICATURES, representing the principal performers in the GRAND POLITICAL PANTOMIME. Printed by T. Riihardson, 245, Hiub Holborn, Loudon PUBLISHED BY W. STRANGE, 21, PATERNOSTER ROW.